


Female Bilbo Oneshots

by Madkat89



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Dwarf & Hobbit Cultural Differences, Dwarf Culture & Customs, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Female Bilbo Baggins, Fluff and Angst, Hobbit Culture & Customs, One Shot Collection, Rule 63, The Hobbit - Freeform, different pairings, fem!Bilbo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 122,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22775707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madkat89/pseuds/Madkat89
Summary: This is where I'll put my one shots about Female Bilbo. The pairings will be with different dwarves, but never more than one dwarf. These are one shots that will most likely never become full stories. A little bit of everything. I will tag the relationship at the beginning of each chapter :)A.K.A. ~ This is the place where I'll be posting various one shots about female Bilbo because the plot bunnies will not leave me alone but they're not quite big enough to develop into their own stories, like Only in My Dreams.Enjoy!
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Dwarf | Dwarves
Comments: 347
Kudos: 615





	1. Alone in a Group

**Author's Note:**

> Dwalin/Bilbo  
> Post The Battle of Five Armies

Bella drew her tattered coat closer about her, trying to eke out a bit of warmth. Still, she didn't want to return to inside Erebor. There was nothing there for her, not really, not anymore. Of all the fears and worries that she had worried about over the course of the quest, the one that she never had was about losing her dwarves. Oh yes, she had worried about losing them through accident and death. After all, the journey had been dangerous and there had been a dragon waiting for them at the end of it, not to mention the battle that had happened so shortly after.

It had been a miracle that none of the dwarves that she had come to consider her family had died or even been irreparably injured. No, she had not foreseen what was going to happen. This time, her family was lost to her by their choice. They had chosen to believe lies and turn against her. As much as she'd like to blame it on gold sickness, the truth was, they had left her long before. It had happened when they had rescued the dwarrowdam from Thranduil's dungeons. That was the day that Bella ended up no longer belonging to her family. 

She had been happy to include the dam in their rescue, believing that no one should be locked away against their will and had looked forward to spending time with a female again. If she'd known then what she knew now, she would've been tempted to leave her behind. She wouldn't have, because she still believed that no one should be imprisoned, unless they had done something truly awful, unlike just torquing off a temperamental elf king. However, if Rina was the type of dwarf that he was used to dealing with, then maybe that was why he'd been so quick to throw the company into the dungeons as well.

Although she had been pardoned for the Arkenstone incident by Thorin, contrary to Rina's urging surprisingly, Bella had been permitted to remain in Erebor but the company had closed completely to her. They were too busy with their tasks and believed Rina's lies too easily to bother spending any time with her. She had thought, she had believed, that all of her time with the company, all the dangers that they had weathered together and survived, that they would be willing to extend her a bit of grace, to listen to her side of things. After all, at the beginning, she was willing to write things off as misunderstandings and move on. But no, they hadn't, easily believing Rina's lies.

After the battle, she had taken Gandalf aside and whispered her fears that she had somehow enchanted them, not willing to believe that her good hearted dwarves would turn so thoroughly against her. He had listened gravely and agreed to investigate the situation, for one could not be too careful with how much evil had been out and loose in the world of late. But when he returned later, his expression sad, she knew what he would say and quietly thanked him for checking it out before pleading weariness and need for sleep.

They had been thoroughly wrapped around that wretched woman's fingers by their own choice. They would not listen to Bella or her concerns, their ears deaf to her and her pleas. So she had surrendered. After all, who was she anyway? She had been arrogant in thinking that she could find a new family, a new place where she might belong. At times, she almost thought that it might have been better if she'd been eaten by Smaug. She was starting to believe that it wouldn't hurt anywhere near as bad as she was hurting now. But no, if Smaug had eaten her, they would've lost the line of Durin. She had quickly been lost in the battle and so had made her way to the tallest point around, which just so happened to be Ravenhill. Because of this, she got there ahead of the Durins and realized that it was an ambush. So when the Durins did arrive, it was to the sight of Bella facing off against their opponents, having managed to pull down the signals, that is, after sending some very confusing ones that had the orcs turning on themselves.

But what no one knew was that she had taken a wound during that time, a wound that no one had seen. Afterwards, the elves had assumed that the dwarves had taken care of her and the dwarves were so busy fussing over the Durins and Rina, that no one had checked her for wounds. She absently touched her left forearm where bandages were wrapped firmly around it, hidden from sight by her sleeves, not that anyone was bothering to look. She could've probably walked around with it on full display and they would've said that she was just doing it for attention.

Tracing the bandages, she had a decision that she would have to make. For not only had she taken a wound, but it had been from a dark blade, one polluted with the evil of it's maker and carrier. At this point, the elves could most likely still heal it. The infection was creeping but it was still at a stoppable point. In another day or two, she would most likely lose her arm if she let it go untreated. Anything beyond that was courting almost certain death. She let out a bitter chuckle, devoid of mirth. 

She already knew what her choice was. There was no good pretending that she didn't know what she was planning. She had weathered losing one family, they hadn't chosen to leave her but the fell winter had stolen them from her. She had withstood being an outcast in the Shire and pseudo courting by hobbits who only wanted her wealth and name, not Bella herself. And she had rebuilt both herself and her life. Or thought she had until a troop of dwarves come in and pull her from her complacency. Only to abandon her in the end, by their own choice. And she didn't have the strength to rebuild yet again. No, better to end it now. Even if they didn't care for her, they would see that she would get an honorable burial. She would leave specific instructions to Balin about how to return her to the earth and he would see them carried out. And that was that. She just hoped that she could last long enough for the Lady Dis to arrive. 

Lady Dis was scheduled to arrive any time now, having rallied the people and left soon after Thorin had, placing faith in the prophecy that Erebor could be reclaimed. With luck, they would even make it before the first snow fell. She didn't know if the Lady Dis would listen to a strange hobbit any more than her family would. But it was her duty to hold on long enough to at least warn her. Then she could just let go and rest. A tear trickled down her cheek and she scrubbed it away, another chuckle escaping her. This laugh had only a trace of humor in it, although it had lost the bitterness and just held a weary sadness. Yavanna, she was so tired! She had given everything she had and then some for the quest and now she just wanted to rest. It wasn't too much to ask, was it, just a small space where she could be at peace.

A guard chose that moment to appear, searching for her. "Mistress Baggins, you're needed in the council room, on orders of His Majesty."

Shaking her head, she smiled ruefully. Well, that answered that question, didn't it? No, she wasn't to be allowed any rest until she returned to Yavanna's garden apparently. Before the guard could think that she was refusing the summons, she said quietly, "I'm sorry, just a passing thought. I'll head there at once."

The guard, a dwarf that she didn't recognize, said firmly, "I am to escort you there, Mistress."

She nodded and offered him a real smile this time, "I'm not going to run, if that's what you're afraid of. However, if you are heading back there anyway, I admit that I would appreciate the company. I have to confess that I am having trouble with some of the twists and turns of the corridors. It can take me some time to make my way anywhere, but I always get there eventually."

The dwarf offered her a short bow, "It was not feared that you would run. Master Dwalin said that I was to show you utmost courtesy and said that you might need a guide until such a time as you have settled in and made yourself fully at home here in Erebor. I volunteered for the duty and it is my honor."

Tucking her hands into her pockets in a vain attempt to warm them, Bella said, "The honor is mine. I would like to know the name of the one who is willing to help a lost hobbit lass."

He bowed again, "Dor, son of Kor, at your service."

"Thank you, Dor. I believe that we'd better get going before his majesty gets impatient with my slowness. Please lead the way."

They made their way back into Erebor and Bella sighed as the pins and needles in her finger tips and ears informed her that she had been in the cold for too long. Following Dor, she wondered idly what Thorin wanted to see her about now. Probably some new accusation on Rina's part about something else that Bella had supposedly done to her. Bella was honestly too tired to care, it didn't matter anyway. No one would believe a thing that she had to say in her defense and it was all moot anyway. She would be gone in a week or so and then everything could settle down.

She watched the dwarf walk just ahead of her and thought about why Dwalin would offer her a guard. He hadn't shunned her like the others, but neither had he defended her. He just stood there and watched, face impassive and hands folded either in front of him or behind him. That had hurt worse than anything, as she had nursed a soft spot for him since she had caught him with his hand in her cookie jar. He was a protector and surely he could see how things were, but he had turned away as well and that had killed the last of her hope. She would find no sanctuary here in Erebor. Because of her part in the quest, they were forced to tolerate a hobbit in the mountain, but they would never truly accept her.

Realizing how maudlin her thoughts had gotten, she quickly pushed them away before they could show on her face. She may be ceding to that witch, she may have lost the battle, but she would never let her know how much she had broken Bella. As they drew nearer to the council room, she could hear a muted uproar. She searched for a way to ask diplomatically what in the world was going on. Finally she said, "Um, Master Dor, do you hear that?"

Dor nodded, not slowing his movements, "Oh, aye. His Majesty's sister has arrived, the Lady Dis. Not to worry."

Bella's heart lifted slightly. Dis had arrived and Bella was still coherent. She didn't fool herself. From the pain that she was currently feeling, she knew that she would likely be out of her mind with pain towards the end. The sooner she could talk to Dis, the better. They arrived at the door and she could hear muffled shouting that somehow sounded feminine to her. Dor opened the door for her and bowed. "This is as far as I go. I'll wait for your return out here, Mistress Baggins." He muttered so low that only she could hear, "Good luck, you'll need it."

Fighting against the urge to beg him to accompany her, he was the first person to treat her like a person in days, she nodded and made her way into the room. She was not expecting the scene that met her eyes. Inside, a dam that resembled Thorin strongly was ranting at a cowering Thorin. The rest of the company made themselves as small as they could in their chairs, all except Dwalin who was leaning disinterestedly against the wall behind Thorin's chair. Also present was a smirking Thranduil, a stoic Legolas, and a very uncomfortable looking Bard. Not to mention Rina who was crimson faced with fury and looked like she wanted to spit nails, although she was sitting and had her mouth clamped firmly shut for once.

She hesitated, unsure if she should flee while she still had the chance and Lady Dis hadn't noticed her. However, Fili noticed her and threw her to the wargs in a desperate attempt to save his uncle. Half standing, he called loudly, "Amad, here's Miss Baggins."

His mother shot him a truly terrifying glare that had the fearless blond prince cowering back into his seat. With a growled threat that she wasn't done with him yet to Thorin, Dis turned and faced her.

Accepting that there was no chance of her being able to flee, Bella drew upon every scrap of dignity that she had left. Drawing herself up to her full height with her shoulders squared and her chin lifted elegantly, not defiantly or challengingly, but elegantly, she offered Dis her deepest, most elaborate curtsy. "Welcome Lady Dis, daughter of Thrain, son of Thror, to Erebor. I hope that your journey was pleasant and your trials light. Have you been offered refreshments yet? I know that Master Bombur made a delicious stew today that would be hot and filling after your long journey."

The entire chamber seemed to hold their breath as Dis studied her. Bella forced herself not to fidget or look away. Finally Dis spoke quietly in a voice that carried clearly across the room. "Do you see now what damage you have done? I am ashamed to be a dwarrow this day."

Bella tilted her head curiously, suddenly feeling like she was missing something. She glanced at the company to see if she could glean any clues from them, but they were staring at her in horror. She sighed, knowing that she looked a wreck but she hadn't seen any point in getting new clothes at this point in time. Meeting Dis's gaze, she said quietly but firmly, unwilling to be judged by someone that didn't know how things currently stood. "I know that my attire and presence is unfit to be part of Erebor. However, you should not trouble yourself about my presence for much longer. Is there anything else or may I be dismissed?"

Dis smiled at her show of spine, "Oh no, that was not directed at you, Mistress Baggins. That was directed at those who would call themselves quest mates and companions. Men and elves are different, but for dwarves to have let a dam reach this state, especially one that has proven herself loyal time and again, on behalf of a poisonous snake that whispered in their ears, no, that is insufferable and I will not permit it. It is time that they realize exactly what they have done to one that is by all accounts pure mithril on behalf of one that is nothing but fool's gold."

Suddenly realizing that Dis was on her side and hadn't believed the lies that were spread about her, Bella felt her shoulders sag slightly in relief before she caught herself and quickly fixed her posture. Feeling overwhelmed with both relief and disbelief, Bella could only say, "How do you? I mean, I was not aware that you were aware of the circumstances and situations here at Erebor, Lady Dis."

Dis fingered a small axe hanging on her belt thoughtfully. "Truthfully, I do not know the whole situation, nor do I want to. I will tell you what I do know. From the infrequent letters from my brother and sons, they were full of tales about a hobbit lass who was to be their burglar. Sometimes foolish and soft, you were nonetheless brave and loyal. From Balin, Dwalin, and the others, I often received reports of the same. However, after Erebor was retaken, the messages sent via raven were truly disturbing. Instead of a peaceful dove, the company had unwittingly harbored a viper in their midst in the form of an unassuming hobbit woman. I was unsure of what to make of these reports, but having seen the changes my grandfather Thror went through from his love of gold, I couldn't dismiss it entirely. Only Dwalin was silent on the subject, merely reporting facts, injuries, repairs that needed made, a dam that had joined the company in Mirkwood. So I resolved to wait until I could see and talk to all parties before I made any judgements. Because one should listen to all sides with an open mind, without prejudice and preformed opinions."

Bella could hear the barbs and emphasis on the last sentence and Thorin flinched as if they had struck him a physical blow. Dis continued on, her voice lowering to almost a purr. "So imagine my surprise when I arrived to find that the dam that the company had freed from Mirkwood was none other than the dam Hela, although now she was going by the name of Rina. The same Hela that I had exiled from Ered Luin for countless counts of thievery as well as an attempt to overthrow my rule there. Oh, she was very careful to keep her hands clean, but she was the master mind behind it, never you doubt. I should have shaved her bald as well as taken her braids, but she was young and the young are often foolishly ambitious. I will not make that mistake another time, I assure you. So imagine my surprise that she has managed to get her claws into my brother and my sons and has plans to sit on the throne of Erebor as queen. Also, upon further interrogation, I have discovered that you tried to warn the company, multiple times, that she was false and none would listen. It would not surprise me if you chose to leave them to the fate that they so foolishly pursued."

Bella tucked her hands into her pockets to hide their trembling. "I was going to speak to you, to try to warn you about what had happened. I didn't know if you would believe me or not, but I had to do my best. They had turned away from me, but they were still my family and I wasn't going to abandon them without trying every last thing I could."

At her words, there was an outcry from the company. She looked over at them and the eyes that met hers were filled with remorse and horror. Dori was openly weeping and both Bofur's hat and mustache seemed to droop lifelessly. But what surprised her was that they finally seemed to see her, truly see her again. Unable to look at them without wanting to forgive them, she turned her attention back to Lady Dis.

Dis surveyed the company with satisfaction. Turning her attention back to Bella, Dis said firmly, "Whether or not you can forgive the actions of those you consider your kin against you, I just ask you to remember that they are male and are prone to making mistakes. However, this travesty cannot go on any longer. You will be fed and given clean whole garments at your disposal, better than those rags that you are wearing, something that will actually keep you warm."

Bella sighed and shook her head, "It was my choice to remain so. I could've gone to Dori and asked for new clothes and he would not have turned me away. But I could not in good conscious have new clothes when it will be a moot point soon."

Dwalin suddenly loomed up in front of her, his expression hard. She flinched and took a half step back, not expecting him to suddenly be in her space. He matched her step for step though. He rumbled quietly, "That's the second time that you have referenced the fact that you will not be here much longer. What are you planning?"

Chewing her lip, she unthinkingly reached for her left forearm and covered it, before suddenly realizing and dropping her hand. But it was too late and Dwalin had seen. Taking her wrist ever so gently in his large hand, he carefully pushed her sleeve up to her elbow, baring the bandages for all to see. He swallowed hard and asked, "Why didn't you tell us that you were injured?"

She tried to yank her arm away but he kept his grip firm yet gentle. She said fiercely, "It's no one's business but my own. No one bothered to ask and I was tired of being told that I was just a vain attention seeker. Now release me."

He shook his head, "No, we've failed you, lass. No longer. When did this happen?"

She narrowed her eyes at him and said scathingly, "When do you think?"

"You've been injured since the battle? Oh lass."

Oin was suddenly there and Bella contemplated refusing to let him see. But maybe it was better this way, to let them know how things were. After all, there had been enough lies of late, it was time for some truth between all of them. So she lets him peel away the bandage and examine the wounds. She knows the moment when he realized the truth, because he stiffened, before letting out a low oath. He looked up and when he met her eyes, she nodded to let him know that she knew. His face mournful, he allowed his hands to drop.

Dwalin asked fiercely, "What, what it is?"

Oin said quietly, for him anyway, "This is beyond my skill. The infection has already set in past saving. I could take her arm, but even then it's dicey. There is nothing I can do."

She felt sorry for the defeat she saw in his face, in his slumped shoulders. Tapping his shoulder until he looked up, she offered him a small smile and signed, "It was too late the moment that it happened. There was nothing that you could have done."

Tears filled his eyes and he made his way back over to his seat by Gloin, burying his face in his hands. Dis watched Bella, concern plain on her face, clearly she had not expected that. Then Kili was there, his expression a mixture of devastation and determination. "No, Miss Boggins. I refuse to believe it. You are not going to die. I refuse to accept that. There must be something that we can do. We defeated a dragon, for Mahal's sake! There must be something that we can do!" His expression turned pleading.

As soon as he mangled her name, she knew that she was going to forgive her dwarves. They did truly care for her, they had just lost sight of it in all the madness. She dragged up a smile from somewhere, "Oh Kili, I don't think that there's anything that can be done. I'm sorry, I wish it were otherwise, but sometimes things just don't work out. Erebor has been reclaimed and you have a home again. That is enough for me, truly."

Dwalin shook his head, his face as pale as parchment, "No, lass. Erebor isn't our home if you aren't here with us."

There was the sound of a long suffering sigh and Bella suddenly remembered the three visitors that were still there, watching the whole unfolding drama. There was the sound of a chair scraping backwards across the floor and she turned to see Thranduil stand up. He said haughtily, "Mistress Baggins has been of value in events of late. I suppose that it would be remiss of me to fail to offer her aid."

Thorin rose to his feet and said firmly, "Heal her and those jewels that you want are yours."

To their surprise, he waved the offer away. "I am not doing this for you. I am doing this because it would be a crime to let one with such a brave heart and compassion vanish from this world without even attempting to save her."

Making his way over to her, he knelt in front of her, his expression surprisingly gentle. He said quietly, "With your permission, milady."

Dwalin finally released her wrist, but moved instead to her side and took her right hand in his left, her dainty hand practically disappearing in his larger one. Squeezing the guard's hand, she offered her left arm to the elven king wordlessly. The king took her hand gently between both of his and his hands started glowing. The company watched anxiously as Thranduil closed his eyes, his brow furrowed in concentration. After several minutes of tense silence, Thranduil nodded to himself and opened his eyes. "It's just in time. This can still be healed and you will not lose function in your arm. But I warn you, this will be painful and your will to live is key. If this is not what you want, tell me know. I will do what I can to ease your pain until the end." There was an outcry at this, but both he and Bella ignored it. "You have earned the right to choose. If you choose to rest, none will judge you for it. But should you chose to live, I shall do everything in my power to make sure that you thrive. So what will you chose?"

Bella closed her eyes, shutting them all out. None of them spoke and she allowed the quiet to wash over her. She didn't have the strength to find a new family, a new home. But would she be willing to try again with her second family? Would it be possible to heal the hurt caused by their thoughtless actions. But the thought of never seeing them again, of being parted from them forever was just as painful as the opposite. Then there was the dwarf standing next to her, holding her hand. He was solid and steady, a rock, a shield. Dis had said that he was the only one that hadn't bad mouthed her. Heat radiated off of him, warming her. The question wasn't whether or not she could forgive the company, she had forgiven them the moment it had happened. No, the question was whether or not she could trust her heart again to the dwarf who had broken it once already. Opening her eyes, she turned her head so that she could study his face. He met her gaze openly, allowing all of his walls to fall, allowing her to see his heart.

And that was when she knew her answer. Turning back to the elven king who was waiting patiently, she smiled at him and said, "Do it."

He warned quietly, "It will be painful, I am sorry."

Taking a firmer grip of Dwalin's hand, she nodded. Closing his eyes again, Thranduil got to work. It felt like she had been struck by lightning and it took her breath away. She forced down her cry of pain, simply holding Dwalin's hand even tighter. She didn't know how long she burned for, but she didn't move and she didn't cry out. She was blind, the agony causing her vision to white out. But she did her best to keep her expression neutral. That's why she missed Rina's attempt to kill her while she was distracted and everyone's focus was on her and not the dam. Although she couldn't see, she could definitely hear the commotion. It looked like Nori was the one who had caught her, but he promptly handed her over to Dis for her tender mercies, which was to say precisely, none. Total chaos ensued and then utter silence. Bella wished that she could see, but it was all she could do to keep her breathing steady.

She then heard the sound of a body being dragged, rather roughly from the sounds of it, over to the door. The door was opened and Dori, gentle dwarf Dori, fairly snarled, "Take her to the dungeons."

So she wasn't dead then. That was good, she supposed, or not, but she would deal with that particular bridge when she came to it. She didn't know how long she burned, before the pain finally started to recede and she could finally see again. There was sweat on the elven king's brow and he looked weary. Releasing her hand, he looked up and nodded to her. "It is done. I have never met a warrior as brave as you, Mistress Baggins. Long life and health to you. The infection is gone, although you will need rest and food to truly recover."

Unclenching her aching jaw, she whispered, "Thank you."

She then turned to Dwalin to find the tall dwarf looking down hopefully at her. She offered him a slight smile before she pitched forward into his arms, darkness descending on her, and she knew no more.

* * *

She didn't know how much time had passed since she fainted when she woke up. She was warm for once and she wondered if her fever had spiked again. But there was no pain, no ache, that she associated with the wound. A crackling sound intruded on her musings and her ear twitched at the sound. Her fingers twitched and she felt a soft blanket underneath them. Curiosity overwhelming her, she forced her eyes open. She was in her room, although she could not remember returning there. But her chamber was different from the dark and dreary chambers that she remembered. There was fire roaring merrily in the fireplace, the source of the crackling sound that she had been unable to place.

Glancing around, she found that the room was empty of anyone. Unsure if she was relieved or not by this development, she slowly pushed herself upright. Once she was comfortably propped up, and when had these lovely pillows appeared, she looked at her arm. The cut was gone, only a small scar marking the place where it had been. The black lines that were tracing up her arm were gone as well. She opened and closed her hand several times, marveling at the lack of pain. So, it hadn't all been a dream then.

Sighing, she studied her surroundings. While she had been unconscious, someone or several someones had made significant changes. One was the roaring fire, warming the chamber nicely. And from the feel of it, she had a nicer mattress as well as thicker blankets and not one, not two, but three pillows, ones that didn't smell of mold and disuse. There was also a couple of comfortable arm chairs that had been added in while she was unconscious. Judging from the basket of knitting next to one of the chairs, it looked like Ori had taken a turn watching over her.

The door creaked open and she braced herself for whomever was going to come through the door. Although the status of her room indicated that she hadn't dreamed the whole thing, weeks of being treated with outright hostility taught her to be wary of the company. To her surprise, it was Dwalin who made his way into the room carefully balancing a tray in his hands, his face weary. He nudged the door closed behind him with his heel before he turned and looked at the bed.

His eyes widened in surprise and he nearly dropped the tray before managing to steady it. He rumbled, "You're awake."

She nodded at him and asked quietly, "Have I been unconscious long?"

Setting the tray on a side table that she hadn't seen, he opened the door and barked something in Khuzdul before shutting it and bringing the tray with him over to where he sank down into the chair next to the bed. He rubbed a hand over the top of his head before saying softly, "Ye've been unconscious for nigh on two weeks lass. We were starting to worry that you wouldn't wake up again."

He looked pained at this and she relaxed back against her pillow. So it hadn't all just been a dream. The company had really seen her again and Thranduil had fixed her arm. She still found it hard to believe, but found that she was grateful nonetheless. She offered him a small smile, "I hadn't been sleeping well, I guess I just overdid it. I'm sorry for worrying all of you. It won't happen again."

He scrubbed a hand over his face, apparently trying to find the right words. "Lass, Bella, you shouldn't be apologizing to us. We need to be apologizing to you. To have let ye get to this state, we owe you our beards for this."

She shook her head firmly, "Nuh-uh, no one's losing their beards over this. Nothing sillier looking than a dwarf without a beard, save Kili of course and his will come, and I refuse to be surrounded by several without beards for only Mahal knows how long. So just get that out of your head right now."

He sighed but reluctantly let it go. Instead, he offered her a glass of water which she accepted gratefully. After she drank, she asked, "Who fixed up my room? It's nice." She winced as his face fell. "Never mind, it's not important." She searched for something to say, something that wouldn't trigger the uncertain truce. "So, um, has the Lady Dis settled in all right?"

Dwalin chuckled at that. "Oh yes, she has everyone jumping at her least little order. She'll have Erebor back in order in no time."

"That's good." The conversation fell flat and she examined her hands.

He sighed, "We need to talk, lass. Afterwards, if you don't want anything to do with me, I understand."

She nodded and murmured, "If I didn't want anything to do with you, I wouldn't have let Thranduil heal me."

He looked at her, "There's that too. Why lass, why would you be willing to throw your life away? We aren't worth that."

She sighed, "You all are my family of choice. I already lost my family once. I couldn't bear the thought of losing them again."

He groaned, "Oh lass, I'm sorry, so, so sorry. We all are."

She smiled shyly at him. "I know that. I won't tell you that everything's going to be all right right away. But the fact that you are even willing to try, that you see me again, that makes it worth it to me. But I am curious."

He scooped her hand gently up in his. "About what?"

"Why didn't you say anything? You never belittled or ignored me that way that the others did. And Dis said that you never did in the reports either. Why then, did you ignore what was going on? Couldn't you see how much that hurt me?"

He frowned. "I saw what was happening. But I didn't know how to stop it. I've never been good with words, that was always me brother's strength. I couldn't figure out a way to explain how they were all being taken in by a she wolf. And I knew that if I tried to take your side, it would only bring them down harder on you. I couldn't trust the little viper, I didn't know what her end game was. So I had to make a hard call and protect Thorin and the princes until Dis got here. I couldn't risk her killing one. But I see now that I made the wrong choice."

She squeezed his hand gently, "How is that? You managed to keep them alive. Not an easy task, with the way she was slinking around poisoning everyone's minds. So how was that the wrong choice?"

He growled, "Because it would've cost me you. I would've lost my One. Nothing is worth that. Nothing!"

She covered their hands with her other one. "You and Thorin have been shield brethren for decades and I know that Dis charged you with overseeing her sons. Not to mention that Thorin is your king. You would not be the dwarf you are without your loyalty and honor. And now that I know your reasons, that you were doing your best to protect me as well. It doesn't make it instantly better, but it helps. You see." She flushed and looked away.

He reached out with his free hand and gently turned her back to face him, using a knuckle to lift her chin until their eyes could meet. "I see what?" She looked pleadingly at him but he shook his head. "Not talking is what led us to this position. Never again."

She sighed, turning as rosy as her prize winning tomatoes. "Somewhere along the quest, Dwalin Fundinson, I found myself falling for you. The thought that you could be so influenced by an evil female, that I never had your heart in the first place, hurt. The fact that I was nothing more than another companion to you, someone that you had to keep safe and ultimately just a burden, that cut me deeply. I had hoped that we were growing closer and that it was only the threat of the dragon that kept you from speaking to me about courtship. But as Rina kept pointing out to me, I was only a useless hobbit far from home and she was a dwarrowdam of reputed beauty. How then, could I ever possibly compare? And now that I've made a total fool of myself, I would like to rest some more, please."

Dwalin's expression was the oddest mixture of overjoyed and outraged that she had ever seen. He seemed to search for words, opening and closing his mouth several times before finally speaking. "If I'd know that she was dripping such poison in yer ear, I would've stopped it, rest of the company be damned. You are everything a dwarf could ever dream of in their mate and then some. I've been head over heels for ya, lass, since the day you opened your door and I laid eyes on you. But we both had contracts. I did my best to court you on the road, to make you see my regard, but I see now that I should've used my words, poor as they might be. It's no wonder that you doubted me. But please, let me make it up to you, amralime. Let me court you properly, as you deserve."

She drew a deep breath in. "I don't want a bunch of formal nonsense. I just want you, Dwalin. That's all I've ever wanted. But it seemed like too much to expect that such a valiant warrior like you could ever care for the odd Mad Baggins from the Shire."

Instead of speaking, he gently gripped her chin in his hand and brought his mouth down to hers for a gentle claiming. It was the barest brush, but before she could protest, he returned, his lips settling more firmly over hers. She melted into the tenderness, freeing her hands from his so that she could sink them into his beard and tug him closer.

This caused him to smile, his lips turning up against hers. She nipped his lower lip in reproach and his groan gave her the opportunity to sweep in and taste him. He tasted like ale, pipe weed, and something that was uniquely Dwalin. However, his surprise quickly faded and his tongue dueled with hers for control. What had started off as sweet and chaste quickly turned hot and needy, both seeking reassurance that the other one was there, that it wasn't all a dream, and they truly cared for each other. They kissed for several minutes before he finally pulled back, breathing hard.

She tucked her face against his chest, struggling to catch her breath and also so that she wouldn't kiss him again. She mumbled, "Wow."

He laughed, the sound rolling through her pleasantly. "Wow indeed, lass. By Mahal, I could get addicted to your kisses."

Her lips quirked up in a smile and she let out a small, relieved sigh. She was safe, she was home, and everything was going to be all right. Almost as if he read her mind, Dwalin hugged her tighter and dropped a kiss on her head. "Never again, lass, never again. I'm going to spend the rest of my life making sure that you're safe and happy, if only you'll have me."

Contentment washed over her and she hugged him back, murmuring softly, "That sounds perfect."


	2. To Become a Thief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nori/Bella  
> After BOTFA

Nori was such a hard dwarf to find or to catch alone. It took all of her skill and courage to pull him into an alcove after stalking him for several days. He was startled but relaxed slightly when he say that it was her. He smirked at her, "Bella, if you wanted to talk to me so badly, you could've just talked to me at dinner."

She swallowed hard and forced her flush down. She murmured, "I needed to talk to you privately."

This seemed to intrigue him, "Bout what, lass?"

She fiddled with the hem of her blouse, "I know that I signed on as burglar but now I'm thinking of becoming a thief."

He grinned at her, amused, "And what exactly are you planning on stealing?"

Gathering all of her courage, she stepped closer to him. "This." Standing on tiptoe, she brushed her lips over his, just the barest of touches before she stepped back. She waited for him to say something, do something, but he just stood there frozen. She gasped, "Sorry." then turned and fled from the alcove.

This unfroze him and he whirled to go after her, to demand answers and possibly kiss her senseless, but the corridor was filled with dwarrow making their way home for the day and there was no sign of the tiny hobbit lass. Sighing, he briefly ran his fingers over his lips before allowing his hand to drop. Had he finally lost his mind and hallucinated what he'd been wanting ever since he fell into a hobbit's home and saw her standing there above him, flustered and bewildered? Or had she made a bet with someone? His eyes narrowed at the thought of the second one. Frowning, he made his way to where the company ate dinner. He would get to the bottom of it one way or the other.

When he walked into the dining room, there was no laughter or sly looks on any face, like he was the loser of some sort of bet, and something eased in him. He looked around and finally found Bella, firmly seated between Bifur and Bombur, shields against anyone getting too close to her. She shyly looked up at him and offered him a tiny tense smile, her eyes anxious. When he just nodded at her, his expression neutral, she relaxed but her eyes turned sad and she looked down and away.

Now, that just wouldn't do at all.

* * *

Bella was on the edge of her seat, waiting for Nori to arrive. She couldn't believe how foolish she had been. It had taken all of her courage to do that, but he hadn't responded, at all. She was a fool to have hoped that he might care for her even a little bit. She only prayed that he wasn't angry with her, that he wouldn't take away his friendship because of her foolishness.

When he appeared at the doorway, she held her breath, anxious. However, he didn't appear angry, his face in it's usual mask. When she met his eyes, he nodded and she felt her heart fall. So, he wasn't angry, but he also hadn't responded to the kiss. That told her loud and clear that he wasn't interested. He had no problem taking what he wanted freely. That he hadn't kissed her back, that was telling. Maybe she'd go visit Sigrid for a few weeks until her foolish heart learned how to deal with it.

Her appetite had deserted her but she forced herself to eat, not wanting to draw attention to her turmoil. However, as soon as she could get away with it, she slipped out of the room. Heading towards her room, she silently berated herself. What was she thinking, that just because she loved the star haired thief that he would suddenly fall in love with her and want her back? He was nothing if not bold and there had been plenty of chances along the quest for him to court her, if he'd truly wished to do so. Sometimes, she thought she had caught him looking at her with a longing that matched her own, but she had clearly been mistaken.

She sniffled and was reaching up to rub her nose when a large hand shot out and dragged her into a shadowy alcove. Startled, she started to attack, only to stop when she noticed a familiar head of hair. She couldn't bite back a groan of dismay. He merely smirked at her. "That's not how you steal a kiss, love."

Before she could puzzle out his words or protest her innocence, his lips were on hers in a sizzling kiss, firm and insistent, coaxing her to join him and respond. With a small sigh that allowed him to deepen the kiss, she melted into him, wrapping her arms around his neck to keep herself from falling. They kissed for several minutes, neither one seeming to be able to get enough of the other.

Finally Nori drew back and rested his forehead on hers. He said, his voice husky and rather breathless, "That, is how you steal a kiss."

When she stared at him uncomprehendingly, he grinned and unhooked her arms from around his neck, steadying her until her legs would hold her. Then with a cheeky smirk, he turned and left the alcove, whistling a jaunty tune.

She stared after him, astonishment, desire, and frustration roaring through her veins. What an infuriating dwarf! Her hands fisted as anger coursed through her. Of all that arrogant, conceited, jerks. She had been sincere and he had kissed her to just prove a point. Oh, and what a kiss it had been. She shook her head to clear it. That wasn't what she needed to be focusing on at the moment. She needed to figure out where to go from here. 

Taking a small step to make sure that her knees would support her, she peeked out into the hallway. It was still empty, so she carefully made her way to her room. She checked it over thoroughly to make sure that there were no red headed thieves lurking in her space before collapsing on her bed. She frowned but then couldn't help the giddy smile that spread over her face. She knew that he had kissed her to prove a point, but he had kissed her. And not just a simple little kiss but a melt your knees kind of kiss. Surely that had to mean that he was at least a little interested. Unless dwarves kissed others regularly? She frowned, thinking over all of her observations, but couldn't remember having ever seen dwarves kissing. They seemed to be a very private people when it came to affection.

Still, if she knew nothing else, it was the fact that Nori loved a challenge. Arranging herself a little more comfortably on her bed, she smiled as she started making some plans.

* * *

The next morning at breakfast, Nori was surprisingly there. He was sitting, well, lounging across from where she usually sat, a smug expression on his face. No doubt he expected her to be in a tizzy from his actions the day before. Grabbing a cup of tea and a piece of toast with preserves, she gave him a flirty look over the rim of the tea cup as she took a sip and then sauntered from the room and headed for her office.

She chuckled as she remembered the surprised look in his eyes. Good. First round to her.

She kept this up for the next few days, giving him coy and flirty looks when the others were not paying attention but staying inaccessible to him despite all of his maneuvering to get closer to her. She could tell that it irked him, but he just gave her little winks and heated smirks. It made her stomach do flips and her heart miss a beat (or three), but she did her best to not let him see how he affected her, although she had a feeling that he knew anyway.

After a few days of this, she found that she was missing his company, so she decided to move on to the next step of her plan. This one required the help of allies. Going to Ori, she had him send Nori a note that he needed to see him. Although Ori was more than happy to do so, when he asked her why, she simply told him that she needed to speak to Nori privately about an issue that she had overheard, but didn't want it traced back to her. Ori nodded his understanding and sent the note, requesting to see Nori that evening after the library had closed.

She returned just as Ori was closing up the library and slipped inside. The library was a different place with the lights extinguished for the night, only a few lanterns left burning for anyone needing to reference texts during the night. Leaving a note on Ori's desk, she made her way to a hidden alcove and waited.

* * *

Nori was puzzled over Ori's note. He had seen his baby brother over breakfast just that morning and he'd said nothing about needing to see him. However, maybe he had discovered something in the library that needed his attention. It also crossed his mind that it was a trap and the note was not his brother's writing at all. However, he examined it carefully and the handwriting matched extremely well. He was leaning towards the belief that the note was genuine.

Slipping through the halls, he wondered what his brother could possibly need to see him for. At least the mystery distracted him from Bella and her behavior of late. She was driving him crazy. He knew that he shouldn't have walked away like that, but if he hadn't, things would have progressed a lot further than was honorable. But the minx seemed to have misread the situation somehow. Instead of an offer of courtship, like he was praying for, she kept giving him looks that made his blood heat and his heart quicken, but instead of letting him respond to those obvious invitations, she stubbornly danced out of reach, making it impossible to get her alone.

He found that instead of getting frustrated by the lack of success in his schemes, he was more determined than ever to win whatever game it was that they playing. Because he playing for keeps and wouldn't stop until he won everything, her heart, mind, body, and soul.

Slipping into the library, he found it to be deserted, the place hushed and almost reverent. Making his way over to Ori's desk, he found a note and quickly read it. It directed him to a back alcove. The handwriting looked a little different, but it was hard to tell in the low lighting. His curiosity and paranoid in full bloom now, he quickly made his way to the appointed alcove. The library appeared to be deserted and he definitely didn't hear the sound of anyone else. 

He found a lit lantern right outside of the alcove, seeming to indicate that someone was in there. Slipping a hand into his pocket and onto the hilt of a dagger, he slipped into the alcove. Before he could respond, something crashed into him and pinned him against the wall on the back of the alcove. However, before he could pull the dagger out, lips crashed fiercely into his.

His mind whirled until the smell of Bella, something sweet and smoky and uniquely hers, reached his nose. Releasing the dagger, his hands quickly felt up and down his attacker. Bella gasped and arched under his touch, moving more into his hands. His hunger that had been stoked by her teasing flared to life and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her incredibly close and claiming her mouth. She pulled back and he let her go just long enough for them both to gulp a large breath of air in before kissing her again.

This time, instead of her hands clinging to him in an attempt to keep her upright, they slid up into his hair and tugged, pulling him even closer. The tugs sent little flares of pleasure pain shooting through him and he hauled her even closer.

Finally, she pulled back and turned her head so that she could breath and he couldn't reclaim her lips. This didn't stop him as he panted and dropped hot, open mouth kisses along her jaw and neck. She moaned and tilted her head to give him better access. He rewarded this with a gentle nip to where her jaw met her neck before soothing it with his tongue. 

She found her voice and said, "Nori, stop."

He grumbled, placing another whiskery kiss right below her ear, "Don't wanna. So sweet!"

She flushed, her heart beating wildly, "We have to stop, this isn't proper at all."

She could feel his wicked smirk against her skin as he nipped her skin again and then sucked on it before soothing it with his tongue. "Hang proper." He moved and placed a soft kiss in the hollow of her throat and said breathlessly, "Besides, you started it. It's not proper at all to lure an innocent dwarf to a clandestine meeting. Where is Ori, by the way?"

She chuckled and it morphed into a moan as he tangled his fingers into her hair and tilted her head slightly to the other side to get more access to the side of her neck that he hadn't kissed yet. "He's, ugh Nori, he's probably at home by now. I, I told him that I had information that I needed to pass on discreetly to you."

He trailed his nose up her neck, inhaling her sweet scent, "And do you?"

Her eyes looked rather dazed, "Do I what?"

He brushed his lips so, so softly over hers and murmured, "Information for me?"

She sighed and claimed his lips in a kiss that was sweet and gentle and somehow so much more intimate than the searing kisses that they had shared mere moments before. His heartbeat slowed and he kissed her back, just as gently and delicately, wrapping his arms around her waist and drawing her closer to him. She rested her hands lightly on his chest, a butterfly touch, before sliding up into his hair, softly this time and wove her fingers through it, enjoying the feel of it under her fingers.

Finally he ended the kiss and rested his forehead on hers, both of them content to just hold each other and breathe for a moment. Finally she stepped back reluctantly. His arms remained raised for a moment, inviting her to return to them, before slowly letting them drop. She cupped his face with a hand and rubbed her thumb over his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned against her palm.

She said softly, "Yes, I did have some information for you. If this is just a game for you, some way to pass the time or a bet of some sort, then walk away now and leave me alone. However, if you truly feel something for me, if you care for me, then you know what to do. You know where to find me."

She let her hand fall away from his face and by the time he opened his eyes, she was gone and the library was empty once more.

He slowly sank down onto a bench, turning her words over in his mind, examining them again and again. Finally, a genuine smile spread over his face. He wasn't sure exactly what she expected him to do, but he knew one thing. There was hope for him, for them.

* * *

The next few weeks were peaceful as they continued their odd, discreet courtship. They would take and leave things in each other's office, make subtle changes. There were also a few chaste kisses here and there, but they were far and few between. To all outward appearances, they remained professional and friendly, Bella even helping him with some intelligence gathering while they had to put things aside to focus on the work. But when no one else was around, they were freer with how they talked and what they shared, as well as their need for the other. But still, neither one offered what the other truly wanted.

So it was a surprise when one morning at family breakfast, Ori said, "Bella's sweet on a dwarf."

Both Nori and Dori's heads snapped around at this announcement and they stared at the young scribe. Dori said, "What?"

Ori nodded happily, "Bella's in love."

Nori clenched his fists under the table while Dori fussed with the tea set. "What makes you say that?"

"She's been so happy lately, practically glowing. She even started singing randomly the other day. So yesterday, when we were working alone in the library, I asked her what was going on. She hedged but finally broke down and admitted that she's in love."

Nori's heart leapt and dropped at the same time. He forced himself to keep his voice even as he asked, "Did she tell you who?"

He shook his head, "No, she said that he was high ranking, honorable, a good fighter. Everything that she ever wanted in a mate, although not by hobbit standards. She laughed when she said that and said that she didn't care any more what hobbits considered respectable or not, that she loved him and that hopefully soon he'd ask her."

Before either of them could move or respond, Nori pushed out of his chair and stormed out of the family room. Ori blinked at Dori, "What did I say?"

* * *

Bella had just dismissed the dwarf in charge of planting and was planning her next move with Nori when the door slammed open and the dwarf in question stormed in. He slammed the door shut behind him, his face thunderous. She gaped at him, her eyes wide. He moved around the desk and pulled her out of her chair. There was fury in his face, but also heartbreak.

He hissed, "Was this all a game to you? You told me that if it was just a game to me, to just walk away. Were you just toying with me?"

She stared at him, bewildered, "What are you talking about, Nori? What's wrong?"

He let her go and started pacing. His voice was hoarse and rough, "Ori said that you're in love. In love with a dwarf that is high ranking, honorable, a good fighter. Everything that you ever wanted in a mate. Was I only just ever a diversion to you, someone to take your mind off the one that you truly wanted?"

She grabbed his arm and yanked him around to face her. Rolling her eyes, she said, "It's you, you idiot! I was talking about you!"

He roared, "Then why won't you court me?"

He'd lost her totally at this point and she wondered if he'd truly lost his mind. She stared at him, "What?"

He stalked over until he stood right in front of her. His voice low, he said, "Why won't you court me?"

She propped her hands on her hips, frustrated with this whole encounter, "Because you haven't asked me to."

It was his turn to stare at her as if she'd lost her mind. He asked, "What?"

She said slowly, making sure to carefully enunciate every word, "You haven't asked me to court you yet. I've been waiting patiently, but still nothing. Makes me wonder if you truly want me or just want a roll in the hay."

Nori yanked out a chair in front of the desk and sat down heavily. He closed his eyes and took several calming breaths. Bella started to move away to make her way back to her chair, but without opening his eyes he caught her wrist and gently pulled her down into his lap. Resting his head in the crook of her neck, he breathed deeply, allowing her scent to calm him.

Wondering what in the world had gotten into her dwarf (and he was hers, he just hadn't asked her yet), she softly stroked his hair and hummed a soothing tune that had been her mother's favorite.

Finally, he pulled back and opened his eyes. Slipping his hand around the back of her neck, he tugged her down until her forehead rested against his. He murmured, "I think we need to start again. Bella, I love you deeply. However, I think that there's been some confusion. What do you know of dwarven culture? Does any of it involve courting?"

She blushed slightly and replied, her voice just as low. "Not much, just that there are braids that show when a couple is courting or betrothed or married."

"For dwarves, it's the dams that approach the dwarves, although dwarves may show that they are interested in the dam, it is up to the dam to offer official courtship. From your words just now, I'm guess that it's not that way in the Shire."

She flushed, understanding entering her eyes. "No, not at all. In the Shire, the lads ask the lasses, not the other way around."

He stared at her, "So all this time, you've been waiting for me to ask you to court."

She sighed, leaning her forehead heavier on his. "And you've been waiting for me to ask you. I've been quite shameless in pursuing you, starting with that first kiss that I tried to steal from you. And all this time, you've been waiting for me to make a move."

He started laughing and before long, her giggles joined in as well. When they died away, she was cuddled comfortably in his lap, his arms wrapped firmly around her. "What fools we are. This could have been solved days ago if we had just bothered to talk. And just so you know, it was adorable the way you tried to steal a kiss, but unnecessary."

She arched an eyebrow at him, "Oh?"

He smiled at her, "Yes. For you are a most excellent thief. You stole my heart the night that we met."

She sighed happily, "Well, I have no other choice then. Nori of the line of Ri, would you be interested in courtship?"

He smirked at her, "Why Bella, I thought that you would never ask."

Before she could snip at him, he swooped down and claimed her lips in a fiery kiss.

Of course, the course of true love never ran smoothly. For that was the moment that Dori entered in search of Bella to get to the bottom of whatever dwarf it was that she supposedly loved. This led to a veritable storm of accusations, recriminations, and explanations before everything was sorted out, although not quite to everyone's satisfaction. Nori was sporting a rather spectacular black eye courtesy of Dori as well as a courting braid courtesy of Bella. He was trying to sulk, but his joy made it hard to do.

She was perched on the desk, her feet swinging as she grinned happily, her own matching braid and bead tapping lightly against her cheek. Dori was scolding both of them about proper courtship behavior although neither one of them was listening, too busy planning their next steps. Yes, this was going to be quite fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are just too adorable <3


	3. Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kili/Bella
> 
> Post BOTFA
> 
> Warning! - Copious amounts of tissues will be needed

She had seen the blow coming for the cheerful dark prince, but knew that he would never hear her cry over the battle noise. She only knew that she couldn't let him die here, not when they'd come so far and seen and survived so much. So she pushed herself and managed to get between them just in time to take the blow intended for him. She made a quiet grunt and it was apparently loud enough to catch his attention. He whirled, his sword held high to face the threat.

It seemed to take him a second to process what he was seeing and then he let out a scream of pure rage and anguish. The orc that had been threatening him was beheaded quicker than thought. In the odd flow and ebb of battle, they found themselves in a pocket of silence. Satisfied that he was safe for the moment, her legs collapsed under her and she sank to the ground. Kili was there, his face frantic. He was saying frantically, "It's ok, you're going to be ok, please be ok."

She knew the truth, feeling the warm blood slipping through her fingers pressed against the wound. She reached up and cupped his cheek gently. "No, love. Not this time."

Uncaring of the battle around them, he dropped his sword and cradled her close to him. "Why, Bella? Why did you do that?"

She smiled sweetly up at him. "I couldn't let you die, not when I could stop it."

He was sobbing, "This isn't how it was supposed to go. We were supposed to reclaim Erebor and live out the rest of our days there, surrounded by our family and maybe someday our children."

She offered him a tired smile. "That would've been lovely. I would've." She coughed harshly, then managed to catch her breath. "I would've liked to build that life with you."

He sobbed once, harsh and painful, before controlling himself. Smoothing a strand of hair out of her face, he had always loved her unruly curls, he asked, "How am I supposed to live without my heart?"

Feeling her strength start to wane, she said firmly, "You must find a way. Your brother and uncle need you. I will be waiting for you in Yavanna's garden. I shall be very put out if you come before your proper time."

He half sobbed, half chuckled at this, but didn't respond. She frowned up at him. "Promise me, Kili. Promise me that you'll do your best to live a rich and full life. A last gift, for me."

He couldn't deny her, her last wish, and his voice was gravelly as he replied, "I promise."

She sighed and slipped her fingers through his messy hair. "I don't want you to spend all your time mourning me either. You may visit me once a year, twice tops, but no more that that."

He protested that. "No, I know that I will want to go there to remember you until we can meet again."

Her eyes closed involuntarily, shutting out the sight of his heartbreak. Still, she summoned up her strength to tell him an old hobbit poem.

"Do not stand at my grave and weep  
I am not there. I do not sleep.  
I am a thousand winds that blow.  
I am the diamond glints on snow.  
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.  
I am the gentle autumn rain.  
When you awaken in the morning's hush  
I am the swift uplifting rush  
Of quiet birds in circled flight.  
I am the soft stars that shine at night.  
Do not stand at my grave and cry;  
I am not there. I did not die. 

No matter where you are, Kili, I will be there also. I love you."

The last of her strength slipped away and she knew no more.

* * *

Kili knew the moment that she had slipped away, her body going limp and still in his arms. He cradled her close for several moments, rocking her back and forth gently in her arms while tears slid unheeded down his face. Then he set her gently aside, folding her arms over her stomach so that it looked like she was merely asleep. He picked up his sword and climbed to his feet. Then he roared his agony and loss to the sky, feeling his heart shatter again and again in his chest. He had promised Bella that he would do his best to stay alive, but that didn't mean that he couldn't kill as many orcs and goblins as he could.

Shutting down all emotion and pain, he became a killing machine, death on two feet, as his sword sang a dirge for Bella in it's whistling death to the enemies. It was Fili who finally found him, surrounded by the enemy dead. He gave a shout of relief and cried Kili's name and Kili whirled, raising his sword to met whatever new threat was there. Seeing that it was Fili and his brother was unharmed, he dropped his sword and crumpled to the ground.

Fili's face grew alarmed and he sprinted over, checking him frantically for wounds. Kili buried his face in his brother's shoulder and sobbed. When Fili ascertained that his brother wasn't hurt beyond a few superficial wounds, he tried soothe Kili and figure out what was wrong. It wasn't the battle, they were both blooded warriors, so what had shattered his baby brother's heart. "Kee, what's wrong? You need to talk to me. You're scaring me, please, let me help you." 

Kili just clutched onto him harder, moaning Bella's name. Fili stiffened with dread, remembering the roar of agony that he had heard earlier in the battle. He looked around, but couldn't see the tiny hobbit lass anywhere. He said quietly, "Kee, where's Bella? Is she hurt?"

Kili shook his head against Fili's shoulder, unable to voice the awful truth. However, Fili didn't need the words to understand what had happened. He cradled Kili closer and laid his head on top of his own, silent tears dripping down his face. Neither knew how long they sat there and mourned, but it was Fili who collected himself first. "C'mon, Kee. We have to go find the others."

He shook his head but pulled back enough that Fili could see his ravaged features and red rimmed eyes. "I can't leave her, Fee."

Fili shook his head. "No, we'll bring her with us. She'll be buried with all honor, I promise you. Where is she?"

Fili helped him to his feet and they made their way slowly over to where the courageous lass had fallen. Fili sucked in a breath when he saw the wound. Kili knelt and murmured something before gently scooping her up and cradling her in his arms. He met Fili's gaze and nodded, allowing Fili to lead the way. As they made their way back to the dwarven camp, he saw that the rest of the company gathered in front of one of the tents, battered and bruised, but all accounted for.

A cry went up when they were spotted, one of relief. Thorin and Dwalin quickly ducked out of the tent, relief on their faces when they saw Fili and Kili walking towards them. However, when the princes drew close enough that they could see the person in Kili's arm, silence fell. Not a sound was heard, although the entire company wept silently as they realized the terrible truth of the matter. They silently parted and Bofur pulled his hat off his head as he held open the tent flap for Kili, crushing it to his chest while tears trickled in silver tracks down his cheeks.

Oin checked her carefully over, but only confirmed what Kili already knew, that their cheerful hobbit lass was gone. Although he was relieved to see that his uncle was all right, he couldn't stand to be near any one other than Fili. Fili eventually coaxed him to have his wounds seen to and to eat something, but Kili moved through the motions mechanically. He then coaxed him to lay down and rest. Before he drifted off, he mumbled, "She saved me, she took the blow meant for me."

Thorin and Fili exchanged glances at that. If that was the truth, Kili undoubtedly blamed himself for her death. It would be a long fought road to help him heal and they would have to watch him closely, because dwarves did not fare well when they'd lost their Ones.

* * *

To their surprise, he rose the next day, serious but clear eyed. When Fili had hesitantly asked him how he was holding up, Kili said quietly, "She made me promise. To live. To live a good life. I gave her my word. Until we met again, I will do my best to live in a way that would make her happy with me."

Fili almost wept at this, but nodded solemnly instead. The next few weeks were a blur, as they dealt with the aftermath of the battle and the treaties that had to be formed, as well as laying Bella to rest. She was buried with all honor alongside the line of Durin, a courageous hobbit lass who had been the beloved of a prince and had paid the ultimate price to help them reclaim their mountain. Thorin had insisted upon burying the Arkenstone with her, insisting that she was a fitting guardian for it, as she had always looked out for the people of Erebor, even when they couldn't look out for themselves.

Kili threw himself in the restoration effort, working hard in an effort to be able to sleep at night. He was calmer and more steadied now, his laughter rare and far in between. He was always courteous, but he was distant and cut off, although the company did their best to draw him from his thoughts. It wasn't until Dis arrived that the situation changed.

He had greeted her at the gate and then excused himself to continue with the restoration. Dis watched him with worried eyes, but let him go. It wasn't until several hours later that she tracked him down to where he was sitting on a balcony overlooking a cavern that gleamed with natural formations. She sat down next to him and let her legs dangle off the edge like he was doing. Her eyes were warm and sympathetic when she turned towards him. "Oh my baby, it's so hard when you lose your One. I know that pain and I would've never wished it on you."

He looked at her, his walls crumbling. Tears filled his eyes as he admitted hoarsely, "It hurts so much, every day. Does it ever get better?"

She cupped his cheek gently, "No, love. It never gets better, but it does get easier. One day, you will wake up and realize that it doesn't hurt as much to breathe, to get up in the morning. For me, it helped to have you and your brother. You gave me a reason to get up in the morning. You're going to have to find that reason for yourself, but know that we're here for you. Fili is quite worried about you."

He sighed, "I know, amad, but it's so hard to speak and not scream like I want to. I'm doing my best, but I know that he's worried."

She well remembered that feeling from when she had first lost Vili. Letting her hand drop and turning back to look over the cavern, she laid her head on his shoulder. "I know, but he came very close to losing you as well. They told me a little bit about your One, but I want to hear it from you. Tell me about your love."

His voice softening, even as tears streamed down his face, he told his mother all about Bella Baggins, a tiny hobbit lass from the Shire that had a heart bigger than all of Arda. As he spoke, something jagged in him eased slightly. Neither he nor the company, in his hearing at least, had talked about her in the months since they had lost her. And yes, speaking of her hurt, but it also helped somewhat.

They sat there through the night, leaning onto each other for strength as they talked and shared stories about their lost loves. Finally they dried their tears and went in search of the rest of their family. They found Fili and Thorin waiting anxiously in the family quarters, the fire having burned down to almost nothing. Kili went over and pulled Fili into a hug while Dis went and tucked herself under Thorin's arm, looking at her sons with both pride and sadness. Kili murmured in Fili's ear, "I'm sorry for worrying you, nadad. I'm hurting and I know that you are too. I'll work harder at not shutting you out."

Fili hugged him closer wordlessly, praying to Mahal for strength for his brother and to Yavanna that Bella was resting peacefully.

* * *

After that, things got easier, although there were still days when he withdrew into himself. But he worked hard to be more cognizant of when he did this and to keep himself busy and occupied. He did as Bella had asked and only visited her grave once a year. He had struggled to pick a date, not wanting to be there on either her birthday or the day that she died. He ended up settling on the day that he'd met her. The day that she had opened a small green door and turned his world upside down. And so time passed and before he knew it, it had been five years since the reclaiming of Erebor.

During the celebration, he made his way up onto the battlements and looked over the valley. Some days, it was hard to believe that five years had passed while others felt like she had been gone for forever. He sighed and a mischievous breeze whisked through his hair, tousling it. He chuckled, "I know, love, I know. But couldn't you give me just a couple of minutes to sulk and miss you."

The breeze seemed to whisk back around and tug harder on his hair this time. This caused him to roar with laughter, something that he hadn't done since she had died. "Alright, alright, I get it. No sulking." 

He could almost hear her giggle as the wind brushed by him gently one last time before skipping off and making the banner flutter. He turned to see Fili watching him, tears in his eyes. He straightened and asked, "What's wrong, Fee?"

Fili swallowed hard before responding. "It's just been a while since I've heard you laugh, is all."

Kili smiled at him, not the carefree smile of before, but still warm and full of meaning. "Well, Bella seems to think that I've sulked long enough and that it's time for me to get back to living."

Fili made his way carefully over to Kili and eyed him with concern. "Nadad, you know that she's gone."

Kili nodded thoughtfully, "That's right, I never told you, did I?"

And there under the night sky filled with stars, he finally told his brother about Bella's death and the poem she had whispered to him as well as her promise to always be with him. Both princes stood there wordlessly as they processed Kili's story. Finally, Fili said in a hushed tone, "She really was special."

Kili smiled warmly, "Yes, and she's clearly not happy with my moping. So what do you say we go and challenge Nori to a drinking contest, loser has to sit in the next council meeting."

A twinkle lit up Fili's eyes and Kili suddenly realized that Fili was hurting as much as he was, albeit in a different way from himself. As they made their way inside, he silently promised himself that he would be a better brother, glancing over his shoulder only briefly at the star filled sky.

* * *

Time passed and Kili's laughter was heard more and more around Erebor, much to the relief of his family and friends. His dark moods were less and less and he seemed to accept the fact that it was alright if he was happy. He still faithfully visited her grave, but he wasn't silent for days on end afterwards. He was honestly happy when Fili found his One and married her, was even the best man at the wedding. After Fili's marriage, he spent some time traveling. Fili and their mother expressed their concern that he was distressed over Fili's marriage and running away, but he laughed and said that he was finally living and that he wanted to see as much as he could so he could tell Bella about it when they met again. He teased that since his brother was happily married, there would undoubted by another heir soon, so it wasn't necessary for him to hang so close to Erebor. His mother had frowned at him, but Fili had laughed, their many childhood conversations about what they would do if they weren't princes coming back to him. He did promise that he would return when Fili had his first child though.

He wandered for five years before word came that Nisa was expecting and true to his word, he packed up and immediately returned to Erebor. The time away had been good for him and he came back bronzed from his travels, his shoulders a little straighter and his eyes brighter. He settled easily into the role of doting uncle to Fili and Nisa's children. They ended up having four, an unheard of number for dwarves, two sons and two daughters. Kili cherished each of them, although he had wept when they had named their eldest daughter Bella.

As they grew up, Fili found himself apologizing more and more to Dis for all the trouble that he and Kili got into as pebbles as Kili seemed to delight in teaching all of his children the tricks that they had grown up doing. Dis had just laughed, her hair a little more grey but her eyes still as bright blue as ever.

* * *

When she was twenty five, Bella came to Fili one night after she was supposed to be in bed. Nisa had already retired and Fili was just finishing up some work by the fire before joining her. She crawled up on the couch next to him and snuggled into his side, something that she had said was too childish. Setting aside his papers, he focused solely on his daughter. "What's the matter, little one?"

She spoke quietly, "Adad, why is Uncle Kili so sad?"

He smoothed her hair back, "What do you mean?"

She sighed, "Lately, he's been so quiet and even when he laughs, it doesn't reach his eyes. Sometimes, when he thinks no one is watching, he'll sit quietly and get this far away look. Is he sick?"

Fili thought quickly and sighed when he realized what time it was. Kili had been doing better, but every ten years, it seemed that her loss hit him harder than normal and he would get quietly drunk and disappear for a few days around the day that they'd lost her. He pulled Bella onto his lap and cuddled her closer. "Thank you for talking to me. Uncle Kili is not sick, although he is very sad. Do you remember what we told you about your name?"

She murmured quietly, "That Bella was the name of a very brave hobbit woman who died in the battle to save Uncle Kili's life."

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "That's right. But now you're big enough to hear the rest. You see, Bella was you're Uncle Kili's One. She loved him so much that she stepped between him and the orc that was sneaking up behind him, trying to kill him. The orc hurt her and she died and your uncle misses her very much. If she had lived, she would've been your Auntie Bella."

She looked up at him, wide eyed, obviously never have thought of Kili being in love with anyone. "Will Uncle Kili be ok?"

Fili bopped her nose gently and smiled at her. "You're very sweet. We just have to be patient with him and give him lots of hugs. And if he's quiet, that's ok, he'll be ok in a little bit." Trying to lighten the mood, he asked her, "Would you like to hear about your namesake?"

She nodded and settled more firmly into his lap.

Looking into the fire, Fili traveled back in time to when he was younger and things had been so much easier. "Back when Smaug still lived, your Uncle Thorin decided that it was time for dwarves to retake the mountain. But in order to do that, we would need a burglar. So he told Gandalf to help him find a burglar. Now, remember that wizards can be very tricky and he told Uncle Thorin that he had found a master burglar by the name of Baggins in the Shire. So we all got together and went to the Shire to find this master burglar to come help us steal the Arkenstone from the dragon. However, imagine your adad and uncle's surprise when the door opened and a tiny lass stood there, all irritated because Uncle Dwalin had come and tried to eat all of her cookies without her even knowing his name. She was so cranky that she tried to close the door in our face. We just barely managed to talk our way into her house, and your uncle was all tongue tied, he was so smitten with her curly hair and emerald green eyes."

He told the story of the quest and a young hobbit lass, carefully editing it with the younger audience in mind, his voice soothing. He had just made it to the part where they had reached Beorn's when he realized that she had fallen asleep. Smiling, he stood and carefully carried her to bed, tucking her in and kissing her brow before making his way to the door.

He was startled to see Nisa standing there leaning against the door frame, a warm smile on her face. He stepped out into the hallway and she drew the door shut behind them. Making their way to their bedroom, he murmured, "Sorry, love. Did we wake you?"

She smiled at him, climbing into bed. "I came to see what was keeping you and your tale drew me in. You know, you never told me the full story of the quest."

He looked over from where he was changing. "I haven't? I didn't realize. I can tell you now, if you'd like."

She hummed thoughtfully. "I'd like that. I'd like to learn more about the woman that I would've called sister. Poor Kili, I didn't realize that it was that time again already."

Fili joined her on the bed and pulled her into his arms. He admitted quietly, "I can't understand his pain, not really. But I know that even the thought of losing you fills me with such dread and anxiety. I feel bad for not realizing that it was that time of the year already, like I'm a failure of a brother."

She shook her head firmly, "He doesn't blame you and he knows that you're busy. He often tells me how you were the only thing that kept him going after Bella's death, that and his promise to her. I can't even imagine what strength of will she must have had to demand that promise from him as she lay dying. However, she also gave her life so that he could live, so I guess that it's understandable."

He tightened his arms even tighter around her. "No more of this, I shall weep if we continue. Didn't I promise you a tale of incredible deeds and insane mishaps."

Knowing not to push him, Nisa smiled up at him, "That you did and if you tell if well, your payment shall be in the form of kisses."

This brought a mischievous grin to his face and he replied, "Well, if that's the case, then I must do my very best."

* * *

Time went on and the years passed. Seventy five years after the reclaiming of Erebor, Thorin finally passed away at the old age of two hundred and seventy and Fili became Erebor's king at one hundred and fifty seven. All of Erebor mourned, as Thorin had been a fair king, but Fili soon proved himself to be every inch his uncle's true heir and Erebor continued to prosper. However, time took it's toll and soon most of the company had passed on to the halls.

Only a few were left from the quest. Most of the members of the company's children had had children of their own by this point and Kili was a much beloved uncle to all of them, always having patience for them despite whatever antics they had got up to. However when Fili passed in the 175 year of the reclamation of Erebor and Vili the second become king, most knew that it would not be long until they lost Kili as well. 

To their surprise, he hung on for another two years, claiming that Bella had waited for him this long and she would wait for him a little longer. After all, she wouldn't be happy if he'd left his nephew to struggle through the first few years of ruling alone. 

It was the morning of the 177th anniversary of the battle of the five armies when a runner came looking for Bella where she was having breakfast with Legolas as they discussed the elf-dwarf treaty. Before he even opened his mouth, she knew what he was going to say. He hesitated to speak in front of Legolas, but she motioned for him to go ahead. He bowed and said, "Milady, the king sent me to tell you that your uncle passed away in the night."

She thanked and dismissed him. She rose and excused herself, Legolas murmuring his condolences. She made her way swiftly through Erebor until she reached his chambers. She made her way quietly inside, dismissing those in the chamber so she could say her goodbyes. As she walked in, she looked at him and saw that he had a smile on his face. Arranging his hands on his chest, she reached over and kissed his forehead in farewell before murmuring, "I hope that you found your Bella, uncle. May your rest be sweet and your reunion even sweeter. We will miss you, but your Bella has waited long enough."

Smiling through her tears, she walked out and shut the door quietly behind her.

* * *

To his surprise, his bones didn't hurt when he woke up. He sat up and rubbed his face, only to stare at his hands in disbelief. They were young again, strong and free of wrinkles. He looked down to find that he was young again, about the same age as he had been when they had gone on the quest. Jumping to his feet, he looked around frantically for a door and quickly found one. Yanking it open, he found a young Fili on the other side, his hand raised to knock.

Kili pulled him into a fierce embrace, having greatly missed his brother in his time apart. Drawing back, Fili grinned at him, "Look at you, why did you chose to go back to being without a beard?"

Kili laughed, "Beards are too much fuss. By Mahal, I've missed you."

Fili asked hesitantly, "Our children?"

Kili smiled proudly at him, "They're doing amazing, Fee. Vili's going to be a great king and with the support of his siblings, Erebor is going to be strong for many years to come." It was his turn to hesitate. "Have you seen her?"

Fili nodded. "If you exit the second door to the left and follow the path, you'll find her house. That's what I was coming to tell you. The rest of the family will wait."

Kili hugged him again before dashing off, shouting a thank you over his shoulder. He quickly found the door that Fili told him of and made his way outside, blinking in the bright sunlight of the enormous garden. He made his way swiftly down the path, his heart racing. After all this time, he was finally going to get to see his Bella again. He rounded the bend to see what he would swear was Bag End lying before him. He stood at the front door, working up his courage to knock, almost not believing that he would finally see her again. He was just raising his hand when noise caught his attention. It sounded like Bofur playing his fiddle. Curious, he made his way around the back to where there was seemingly a party going on. All of the company and their partners were assembled there, even Fili and Nisa. He wondered absently how his brother had beat him there, but dismissed it as unimportant. He drank in the familiar faces, there was Uncle Thorin grinning and laughing at something that Balin was saying and his amad was dancing with a dwarf that he was fairly sure was his adad, although Vili had died when Kili had been quite small.

Kili looked around for Bella. Fili caught his eye and winked at him before discreetly inclining his head. Instead of dancing, Bella was standing on the sideline watching and clapping her hands merrily to Bofur's tune. However, when he looked closer, he could see that she looked lonely. Now, that would never do. Making up his mind on the spot, he quickly crossed the yard and swept her into the dance, grinning down at her, "Why aren't you dancing, Mistress Boggins?"

She stumbled, her eyes going wide, but he skillfully kept them moving. Her mind finally seemed to catch up to the fact that he was truly there and she cried, "Kili!" before throwing her arms around his neck and squeezing him tightly. He picked her up, wrapping his arms firmly around her waist and spun them around, resting his forehead on hers. He grinned down at her, "Been waiting long, love?"

Her eyes sparkling brightly with happy tears, she grumbled, "What took you so long?"

Before he could answer that he was only doing as she had asked, she shoved her fingers in his hair and pulled him down into a fierce kiss. It was only when she registered the cheers and catcalls that she drew back, blushing. Making a rude gesture, Kili swept her up and carried her away from the others. Instead of protesting, she snuggled into his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck gently, sighing contentedly. "I've missed you, Kili mine."

He groaned, "It's been agony without you, love. But you made me promise to live first and I couldn't break a promise. I have so much to tell you."He found a discreet grotto with a small bench and sat down, pulling her onto his lap and finally feeling at peace for the first time in decades. She smiled up at him. "That's good and I can't wait to hear it. But first, you owe me a kiss for every year that you made me wait."

He grinned down at her. "Gladly, love. Gladly. And as many more as you want besides." Bending down, he kissed and knew that he was finally home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was listening to One Voice Children's Choir (amazing group) when this song came on. This story line immediately popped into my head. 
> 
> I bawled like a baby the whole time I was writing it, and again when I was checking for errors, and once more while posting it.
> 
> Someday, I'll write a fix it sequel, but it's still only a dream right now.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tli9Wy5UhSQ


	4. Erebor's Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fili/Bella

Erebor truly was the lonely mountain. Bella had always thought that it was thusly named because it stood away from some of the other mountains. However, she was beginning to think that whomever had named it thus had been of another race and had been forced to spend time in the mountain. It didn't help that she had no where else to go. After the battle and knowing that winter was imminent, she had begged one of the ravens to take a message to her grandfather for her in the Shire, to inform him that she was alive and would return in the spring.

But instead of a warm letter full of relief, she had received one full of vitriol, shaming her and telling her that there was no place in the Shire for one such as her. That had not been the response that she had been expecting. It didn't help that matters between her and the company remained strained. After the battle, when he thought that he was dying, Thorin had apologized for banishing her and they had made their peace. And when he had started healing as well as Fili and Kili, they had all rejoiced. But then the reality set in of things and the fact that she had no useful skills in Erebor. She had taken notes for the treaties, but once those were ended, so was her usefulness.

It didn't help that all of the company were in high demand, except for her. Even if they wanted to spend time with her, they just didn't have it. That's why she had been hoping that the Thain would understand her situation. When he didn't, that was the final straw. Balin was the one who found her weeping in an old records room. When he finally drew out what was wrong, he told her that he would fix everything and swept out of the room. He returned shortly with Thorin, who grudgingly offered her permanent residence in Erebor. Having no other options, she had gratefully accepted.

She had spent the next few months trying to help, only to be pushed gently aside and replaced by those who were better prepared. After a while, she stopped trying. There was no point in it, she could see the pity and disdain in their faces when she tried. The whispers were the hardest part, they followed her every where she went. It was like her life in the Shire all over again, but this time she didn't have her cozy little hobbit hole filled with her memories from her parents and their love for her. All she had was a small room containing only the basic necessities and it always felt cold. This mountain always felt cold to her.

Finally, one morning she couldn't face it anymore, the whispers and the watching. Slipping into the dining hall, she grabbed some of the jerky and hardtack and filled her pouch. Then she started wandering. She spent a couple of weeks exploring the main library that Ori had been too busy restoring Erebor to touch yet. Those were fun filled days and she discovered several treasures. Finally she could explore no farther, rubble piles stopping her and the fact that she couldn't read Khuzdul. She had taken a few of the volumes with her, a couple in Sindarin and a few in Khuzdul that she thought she recognized the titles of, so she could work on learning Khuzdul. After all, it's not like anyone ever told her not too. It's not like anyone ever talked to her anymore.

Satisfied that she was done with the library for the moment, she left a couple of particularly interesting books that she had found on Ori's desk in the middle of what she thought was the night. There wasn't anyone around except for a couple of guards anyway, so that's what she was guessing. She had lost all track of time without the sun and without any tasks to keep her busy. Making her way to the dining room, she found some more jerky and hardtack. It was nice to have at least these few supplies, although they were starting to get monotonous. Suddenly she wanted some mushrooms.

Stopping by the guard room which was empty, must be shift change, she took one of the lanterns. She made her way down to the lower levels, enjoying the silence. She had become curiously numb, much like she had in the Shire. The quest with the company had woken her up to life, made her crave companionship. But how quickly that had faded away again once they were ensconced in their new home, once they no longer needed her. Here, in the darkness of the mountain, she found herself fading like a flower left without sunlight. It just wasn't worthwhile to keep trying to thrive, she had moved onto just existing. Someday, when she grew weary of that, she would stop existing. But for now, she would wander and see what wonders she could find.

She didn't know later how much time she spent wandering in the depths of Erebor. A month, maybe two. She found enough mushrooms down there to sustain her comfortably. She wandered and after a time, she started to hear the mountain herself singing to her. By following the subtle sounds, she was shown a great many wonders, caverns that hadn't been seen in centuries, filled with all kinds of beauties both living and rocks and minerals. She drew as much as she could, enjoyed soaks in the many hot springs, and took tiny treasures after Erebor had reassured her that it was all right. It was a peaceful time and it helped to heal her shattered psyche.

It was in the middle of the second month when Erebor's song started to change. Since Bella had first wandered down and heard her, it had been a song of warmth and welcome, of healing and hidden treasures, of resting and getting strong. Now, it seemed to be urging her back up to the main levels, singing of longing and loss, of missing and yearning, of promises for the future should she just go for it. It sang to her of solid bonds, of a safe haven, of warmth and welcome, of laughter and love. And that small ember of hope that had flickered and almost died in her slowly came back to life. She tried to fight it, to stay comfortably numb, but Erebor was like a nurturing mother, willing to do the best for her children.

Finally Bella could ignore her no longer and after one last long soak in her favorite hot spring, she started making her way back to the surface. It took her three days until she started reaching the inhabited parts of the mountain. She began to know that there were groups of miners around when she saw lanterns and supplies in piles at various tunnel entrances.

She had heard voices a couple of times but easily ignored them. However, on the fourth day, she heard voices that she thought that she knew. Curiosity sparked in her and Erebor gently urged her towards them. She decided to humor her and made her way towards the voices. She rounded the corner to find a small group of dwarves clustered together. One of them, Bofur, she finally recognized the hat, was pleading with the mountain to tell them where Bella was, to let them find her so that they knew that she was alive, was safe. That they missed her, that she was kin, that they needed her.

While she absently listened to Bofur, she studied the others in the group, finally recognizing them. There was Dwalin, arms crossed and feet braced, his face impassive. Nori, fidgeting with a piece of knotted rope as he shifted lightly from foot to foot. Bofur, his normally cheerful eyes tired and both his hat and his mustache looked like they were drooping, Bifur seemed more distant, like he was listening to Erebor's song and not really present. She studied them closely, noting that they looked tired and unhappy, like they had been grieving for days now. She sent a query to Erebor and Erebor quickly shot a single image back, her. According to Erebor, the company was missing and grieving for her.

Feeling her heart finally move, she had never been cruel and she'd never meant to hurt her family, she slowly made her way over towards the pool of light and the company. It was Nori that spotted her first, his eyes going wide and dropping his rope. He scrambled to catch it in mid-air and that caught Dwalin's attention. Dwalin swore at the sight of her and that caught the attention of the others, all of them.

She kept walking until she was standing in the middle of the group and smiled at them. They gawked at her as if she was just an apparition. Sighing, she didn't trust her voice after weeks of disuse, she dug into her bag and pulled out the treasures that she had found for each of them, slipping them into their hands. Dwalin barely glanced at his before tucking it away into his pocket. He knelt on one knee in front of her so that they were eye to eye. "Where have you been, lass? We've been out of our minds looking for you."

She smiled simply at him and replied softly, "I've been with Erebor. But she told me that it was time to come home."

He nodded and stood. "Yes, we've been missing you. Come, the rest need to see that you're alive as well."

She nodded and they fell in around her as they started walking back towards the main halls. They asked her a couple of questions, but she merely shrugged or nodded, so eventually they gave up for the moment. When they started reaching the more inhabited corridors, the whispers started again, but she had expected it. However, she didn't realize the picture that she created. She was a tiny lass surrounded by fierce dwarves, notorious dwarves, the members of the company. She was wearing an outfit that Dori had made for her, similar to what she wore in the Shire. It was a royal blue skirt and a pale, pale blue blouse with a warm brown corset. Her skin had not seen the sun in months and had turned as pale as alabaster. However, the minerals in the hot springs had been good for her skin, giving it a healthy subtle shimmer. Her curly golden hair had grown longer, reaching below her shoulder blades. She had listened to Erebor and had a few tiny braids scattered throughout it, but had left the majority of it free. Her feet were bare and covered in curls, which was an oddity. Her posture was slim and straight and her expression serene. Occasionally she would smile or laugh at something that one of the others would say and it lit up her features.

The dwarves who understood what was being said kept their expressions impassive. It was none of their business who she was, although it had spread through the mountain that the hobbit was missing. They had been turning over the mountain for her, but Erebor had been oddly reluctant to disclose her whereabouts, just that she was still within Erebor and that she was alive. They had dreaded every day waking up and hearing Erebor leading them to her body. After all, she had taken no food that they could discover beyond a little bit of hard tack and jerky. They had feared that she was lost and slowly starving to death. They knew that Erebor wasn't cruel, but sometimes she just didn't understand the frailty of her inhabitants. However, it looked like Erebor had taken beyond excellent care of her as she was fairly glowing with health. She was quiet, but she had been alone for months, her voice was probably hoarse from disuse.

Word spread through the mountain like wildfire and they had gathered most of the company by the time that they reached the throne room. The only ones that were missing were the Durins and Balin. Dori pulled open the door and they entered the enormous hall. It was obviously a court day or petition day, groups of dwarves milling around while waiting to present their case to the throne for judgement or settlement. They seemed to be in a lull between cases, Thorin and Balin were on the dais, their heads together while they discussed some aspect of the previous or next case. There was more silver in Thorin's hair then there had been a few months before and he looked careworn. Balin looked even more aged, his movements slow and weary.

As they walked towards the throne, Bella looked around for the princes, especially the one that she could admit to herself now had stolen her heart. She had done a lot of talking with Erebor and it had led her to understanding a lot of things about herself and what she wanted from life. It had clarified a lot of things for her without the stress of others. Down in the depths of Erebor, it had been safe, distant from everything, and she had needed that. She finally saw Fili and Kili off to one side of the dais and down. Kili and the red headed elf, what was her name, Tauriel, that was it. They were working together and Bella vaguely remembered that they had been named official liaisons between the two kingdoms. They appeared to be working on paperwork of some sort, their expressions quietly content. But she only noticed this peripherally, all of her attention focused on the golden haired prince.

Dwarves were built to endure, but Fili looked so careworn. He was dressed with all the care befitting his station, but he looked tired and unkempt somehow. There were dark circles under his eyes and stress lines around his mouth and eyes. His hair was limp and dull. He barely resembled the bold young lion prince that had shown up on her doorstep so many months ago.

She had been content to follow where the others had led her, but now she slipped away from them. She heard one of them try to follow her but Dwalin stopped them. She crossed the room silently until she was standing right next to him. He looked up dully, his features arranged into a polite mask. However, his eyes widened almost comically when he saw who was standing there. Moments later, the chair clattered to the ground as she was pulled into a strong embrace. He didn't say anything and neither did she, but she did slide her arms around his waist and embrace him back. They just stood there. Bella turned her head so that her ear rested against his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat while he tucked her head under his chin, breathing in her scent deeply.

She wasn't sure for how long she stood there in his embrace, but it was safe and comforting and warm. Instinctively, she knew that this was what Erebor had been telling her. She heard the murmurs and the voices asking questions, but she ignored them all. She was perfectly content where she was and she would stay there until Fili decided to release her.

In the end, he did pull back because he was the dutiful one and the rest of them had questions that needed answers. However, instead of letting her go, he tucked her close into his side. She allowed him to do so, his arm settling in the curve of her waist. Finally he asked, "Where have you been, Bella?"

She said softly, not wanting to hurt him, "There didn't seem to be anything I could do, so I've been exploring. Erebor has been singing to me, taking very good care of me. I've seen so many marvels." She reached up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear. "I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you."

He studied her, drank her in. "Are you going to do it again?"

She shook her head, "Not alone, if I go back there, it's because I want to show you some of the wonders that I discovered."

He pulled her fractionally closer, "Then it's all right."

She glanced around and finally seemed to register everyone staring at them. She blushed and managed to tuck herself even closer to Fili, murmuring, "I'm sorry, did I interrupt court day? I lost track of days, but Erebor insisted that it was time for me to come back."

He leaned over and dropped a kiss on the top of her head, "I am so grateful to her for that. It is court day, but we were in recess while uncle and Balin reviewed some documents concerning the last case. They're going to reconvene in fifteen minutes and decide the case."

"How many more cases are there to be heard? Would it be better if I went and waited in the company chambers? I have the feeling that I'm distracting somehow."

Both Fili and Kili laughed at that, the sound echoing across the chamber. That sound seemed to be some sort of invisible signal and the tension in the room eased, even as she could feel the curiosity spiking even more. She glanced down discreetly at herself, but couldn't find anything unusual in her appearance. Maybe it was because she was a hobbit? When she suggested that, the brothers laughed even harder.

She turned to Tauriel who shrugged, "It's hard to tell with dwarves, but I don't think that there's a problem with your appearance. I'd say that you are rather distracting more than anything lacking. If nothing else, you're exotic."

Kili corrected her, still chuckling, "No, she's gorgeous. We're going to have to beat off suitors with sticks. And don't roll your eyes, Bella. Trust me, I'm telling you the truth."

She said doubtfully, "If you say so. However, I still think that I should go somewhere else so I don't distract from the important cases."

Fili had stopped laughing when Kili mentioned suitors, his expression turning slightly grim. He turned and looked at Thorin who smiled slightly and nodded his approval. Bella had followed his gaze and was surprised to see Thorin smiling, especially at her. That dwarf was always so solemn, carrying the weight of the crown with him. She shifted her gaze to Balin and found him watching them with a relieved smile, although he still looked exhausted and sad, an old sadness.

Suddenly remembering something, Bella murmured to Fili, "I'll be right back."

She made her way across the short distance to the dais and climbed the steps, nodding to Thorin as she passed him. Before Balin could ask what she was doing, she hugged him firmly, going up on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear. "I'm sorry for worrying you. I needed some time to think. Erebor and I have been talking and we agree. I would love to have the privilege of calling you adad. Please, think about it?"

She pulled back and noted his stunned expression. She offered him a tiny smile and released him, knowing that he would need time to think about it. She would accept whatever he decided, but she really hoped that he would at least consider her question seriously. With another nod to Thorin, she made her way back to where Fili was waiting patiently for her. He murmured, "What was that about?"

She shook her head, indicating that she'd tell him when they were alone. He offered her his arm and she took it gratefully. Ignoring the increased whispers, they slowly made their way out of the throne room. They were just exiting the door when they heard Dwalin bellow and turned back to see him rushing towards the dais where Balin had apparently sat down suddenly, not caring for his appearance. Bella chewed on her lip, debating going back, but decided against it. She had made enough of a stir and Dwalin would make sure that he was all right. Mentally, she kicked herself, she should've approached him privately. She didn't mean to upset him so badly. Erebor had reassured her that it was a good idea, but it looked like she had distressed Balin deeply.

Fili steered her silently through the corridors until they reached the room that the company had claimed for when they wanted to relax and escape the pressures of the rest of the mountain. When the door swung shut behind them, he lead her over to a couch in front of the roaring fire and urged her to sit. When she was comfortably settled, he asked, "What was that about?"

She twisted her hands in her lap as she chewed on her lip, trying to find the right words to explain. "While I was exploring, Erebor and I connected. I talked to her, a lot, and she would often speak to me. Not in words per se, but in images and culture, helping me to understand a lot of things. She was curious about my companions, about the company who had been brave enough to dare a dragon to reclaim her. I had already told her about my family. However, when I talked about Balin, I kept getting the image of a father from her. And it's true, over the course of the journey, I came to respect him like a father. From the images that I got from Erebor, he lost his, the closest I could figure out what she was saying was One or soulmate?"

Fili nodded, "Our true partner is called our One."

Bella nodded her thanks. "As far as I could tell, his One perished in the fall of Erebor. Because of this, he would never marry, never have children. She seemed to suggest that we could make a family, together. However, I must've misunderstood her somehow. I told Balin that I would like to have the privilege of calling him adad. What taboo did I break? I've never seen him look so shocked before. I should've approached him privately. I don't know what I was thinking."

Fili just stared at her and she started to fidget even worse. Then he smiled tenderly at her, "Bella, you didn't do anything wrong. To be offered kinship is a great boon. I know that Balin thinks the world of you and he has missed you fiercely. But it is something offered so rarely, usually there is other kin that will take in any pebbles, so there is little chance of adoption. Sometimes when one does a great deed for a family, an offer of adoption is made. Or when a family needs an heir, sometimes they will adopt a son into the family. You see, dams are just so rare that I can only think of maybe a handful of times that one was adopted since our race first started. What you offered him was a gift, ghivashel, one that he probably never anticipated. Especially, as you say, he lost his One. So don't fret, what will be will be."

She sighed, "If you're sure."

He nodded firmly, "Of course I am. Trust me."

She smiled warmly at him, "Of course I do." She reached out and gently traced a dark circle under his eye with a fingertip, "You look tired."

He reached out and took her hand gently in both of his. "I am tired. I had been working hard to create a home for you and I never realized how badly you were hurting. I mean, I knew that things were hard, but I figured out once you had your own space, then I could talk to you about how uncle wants you to look into the farming and feeding of Erebor. But there were always a million little jobs that kept drawing me away. Nori did his best to keep an eye on you, but he was busy as well."

Fili's expression darkened, "It seems like in our exile, many dwarves forgot their honor and nobility. We were pleased when you holed up in the library, it was at least defensible against those honorless dogs and it would keep your mind occupied until we discovered who was behind the assassination attempts."

Bella swallowed hard, her eyes widening, "Fili, what do you mean? Assassination attempts? As in multiple?" He looked away suddenly and tried to release her hand. She grabbed his hand firmly, "No, I need to know. If I'm going to make Erebor my home, then I need to know this." She took a deep breath and scraped up her courage, "Especially if we're going to work on building a life together. I need to be aware of the dangers, so I'm not so vulnerable."

He looked back at her, a fragile hopeful light in his eyes. She offered him the tiniest of smiles, letting him know that he hadn't just imagined her words. He took a deep breath and faced her squarely, "There have been five assassination attempts for you being a hobbit and consorting with the line of Durin. There has also been fourteen kidnapping attempts, five of those to ransom you and the remaining." His face tightened and he forced out the next few words, "The remaining nine were to force you into marriage with the hopes of creating a high ranking alliance. That and the lack of females creates a need for more."

She breathed in for a count of three and then slowly let it out. "What happens if a dam finds herself in such a situation."

Fili scowled, "Apparently our people have been running wild too long. If that happens, the dwarf who forced the dam and any who assisted him are summarily executed. Our dams are too precious to be treated so cruelly."

She had to know, "And is that what happened to those after me?"

His eyes were hard but his expression was oddly vulnerable, "Would you hate me if it was?"

She shook her head, "No, but I would feel more lenient towards those who were not old enough to remember Erebor or were not yet born. They might not have ever known the code of honor that is what Erebor stood for."

Fili expression turned thoughtful at that. "We'd never thought about the young ones not being taught. However, these dwarves were more than old enough to have remembered the rules of honor. They were executed and I cannot regret it. These were entitled dwarves that held positions of power during my grandfather's reign. His gold madness allowed corruption to reign unchecked. Thorin and I have vowed to weed that out and return our rule to how it was under Durin's law. Our word and laws will mean something, we will never again fall so low."

She smiled and cupped his cheek, stroking her thumb over his cheekbone. "You will do that, Fili. You and Thorin and Kili. I have no doubt about it."

He covered her hand with his and leaned into it. "I'm doing this for the future." He closed his eyes and drew a deep breath before opening his eyes and looking directly into her eyes. "Our future?"

She inched closer and pressed her forehead to his, her eyes shimmering while she smiled, "Yes, I want to build that future with you."

He leaned down and captured her lips in a soft kiss. However, she couldn't stop the giggle when his beard tickled her face. When he went to pull back, she claimed his lips again. It was a tender kiss, an acknowledgement of things long yearned for. It was about connecting and new beginnings. It was about future possibilities. 

Finally they pulled back and she blushed under his warm gaze. He reached out and traced one of the tiny braids in her hair. "Kili was right, you know. You are utterly gorgeous. I miss your freckles though." He traced her cheeks and over the bridge of her nose where they normally sat.

She laughed softly at that, "Don't worry, they'll come back when I'm out in the sun for the farming. They were the bane of my existence when I was a faunt." She wrinkled her nose at him.

He tapped it gently with a finger, "I think that they're beautiful." He pulled back, his eyes warm but regretful. "So, you spoke with Erebor."

Knowing that there was probably strict protocol for courting couples, she didn't protest his space, sliding back herself. He shot her a grateful look and she knew that she was right. "Erebor sang to me. It took me some time to learn how to hear her, but the mountain is truly alive. The things that she showed me. Someday, I'm going to have to take you there."

He stood abruptly and moved over by the fireplace, his hands clenching and unclenching. However, his voice was even as he said, "I would like that. We haven't heard her sing in much too long."

Settling more comfortably on the couch, she tucked her feet underneath her and propped her chin on her hand and her elbow on the arm of the couch. "Have you heard from your mother lately?"

His shoulders relaxed at this more neutral topic. "She has Ered Luin ready to go as soon as the weather clears enough to travel for any distance. She's looking forward to returning to Erebor."

"Is she having any problems with the dwarves there?"

Fili shrugged, his expression an odd mixture of pride and fear, "There have been a few dissenters, but amad quickly settled that. My amad is a wonderful dam, but she can be a very scary leader. I do not envy those dwarves."

Bella shrugged, in her opinion, those dwarves had deserved it. With a smirk, she asked, "Does she know about Kili and Tauriel?"

Fili gave her a lopsided grin, "Kili was going to put it off until she got here, but both Uncle and I advised him that it was better to give her some time to cool off and think about it rationally before she got here. He sent a letter shortly after you went exploring and received a letter about a month ago. It was sharp, but more accepting than he originally anticipated. We'll see when she gets here."

A thought suddenly occurred to her and she paled, sitting up straight, "Does she know about me?"

Fili nodded, "Of course, I told her about you months ago."

Bella swallowed hard, "Does she know everything?"

Fili tilted his head, studying her while he said slowly, "Of course. I could never hide anything from her as a pebble. She is not happy with uncle, but will hopefully have cooled off when she arrives. She has said that she's looking forward to meeting you."

Bella chewed nervously on her lip. When she had heard about the dam, she had never anticipated the way that events would unfold. She also never anticipated having to deal with said dam while telling her that she was involved with her son. She needed to find out how the woman truly felt about her. She asked hesitantly, "Do you think that it would be all right if I wrote her a letter?"

Seemingly oblivious to her inner turmoil, he nodded cheerfully, "She would like that. She's asked a ton of questions about you, but it would be better if you two talked directly, without relying on my interpretation. I know that dams pick up on different things than dwarves do."

She couldn't really refute that but before she could even speak, the doors opened and the entire company poured in, including Thorin and Balin. Before she could ask what was going on, Dwalin came over and lifted her easily to her feet before pulling her from the room. She shot Fili a wide eyed look but followed the guard captain easily enough. He made his way far enough down the hall that they couldn't be heard by eavesdroppers before pulling her into a tiny alcove and gestured for her to sit. She did as he asked, waiting for him to speak up and say what was on his mind.

He ran a hand roughly over his head, "Do you understand what you've asked, lass?"

She frowned, trying to puzzle out what he was asking. "What do you mean?"

He sighed, seeming to suddenly remember that she was not a dwarf. "Do you understand what you asked when you told Balin that you wanted to call him adad."

Her confusion cleared up at his words. Carefully snagging his hand to avoid the knuckle duster, she tugged him down onto the bench next to her. "Some, Dwalin. While I was gone, I spent a lot of time talking to Erebor. She seemed pleased with the idea of us becoming a family. However, just because a mountain is pushy in her wish for our happiness doesn't mean that it has to happen. Fili explained that it's rare for dwarves to be adopted, that there's usually kin to step in. That he could only think of a handful of times that a dam has been adopted. I do know that I should've broached the subject privately with Balin, but he looked so tired, sad, and relieved that I didn't think before I acted. But please, tell me what this means to you."

He stared at her, his expression of confused bafflement that she hadn't seen since the beginning of the quest when he never quite knew what to make of the tiny hobbit lass. He muttered, "Ye've been speaking with Erebor. Of course ye have. It's not like you haven't been turning things on their ear since we meet. And she thinks that it's a good idea for the pair of ye to become a family. Because that's totally normal."

She pushed down her smirk at his disgruntled expression and mutters and said gently, "Dwalin, what does this request mean to you and your brother."

"So I'm guessing that Erebor somehow managed to convey to you that my brother lost his One in the fall."

Bella nodded, "Yes, I'm very sorry for his loss."

Dwalin sighed, "For some dwarves, they would eventually move on, find another, even if they're not their One. However, Balin was deeply in love with her and if there's one thing you gotta know about Balin, he's loyal. Once he makes up his mind, he sticks to it. Once he lost her, I knew that there'd never be another for him. He's found a measure of happiness, helping Thorin and Dis with the princes, but he always wanted a family of his own. When she died, he lost all of that. He's been grieving that loss ever since and he will until he reunites with her in the halls. I think that the only reason that he held on this long was because of me, honestly. That and the fact that Thorin needed him, especially after Azanulbizar. I always bitterly regretted the loss of his dreams, he was made to be an adad. It helped a little, when we finally killed Smaug, but it didn't heal it. But he's always wanted a child of his own. Like Fili said, it's rare for adoptions, there's usually always kin present. And if the threat is strong enough to kill the entire clan, well, the pebbles usually don't survive. So if you do this, you can't back out, there's no changing this. Because if you change your mind, it would break his heart and kill him entirely."

Bella thought this over carefully. However, all she said in the end was, "Would that mean that you'd be my uncle? Oh, how do the princes say it. Um, irak'adad?"

Dwalin's eyes widened when she said this and she knew that he hadn't even considered that he was part of the equation, all of his concern had been for his brother. He stammered and stuttered, but nothing intelligible came out.

She said quietly, "It seems like you're just as much a part of this as Balin and I are. So tell me this, would you be willing to have me as part of your family? Would you be willing to open your family to a rather strange, orphaned, homeless hobbit lass who has come to care for all of you deeply? I know that Thorin has said that I can stay in the mountain and I would dearly miss Erebor should I ever, Yavanna forbid, have to leave her. But would you be willing to work at crafting a family with me?"

He studied her face as if expecting her to laugh at him and tell him that it was all a joke. Instead, she just met his gaze levelly and waited for his brain to catch up and for him to decide one way or another. He finally breathed, "By Mahal, you're serious."

She snorted, "Of course I am. Who else would be willing to put up with me? Not to mention that I have come to care for both of you deeply."

He said gruffly, "Even after that horrible morning on the wall? I failed you that morning."

She shrugged. "I am still alive, so it is what it is. Besides, like you said, Balin is very loyal. That seems to be a trait that runs strongly in the line of Durin. You sided with your king, but not only that, with your friend of many years who you've been through many perilous situations. There is a strong bond there and I would not have you break it in those circumstances. After all, everything came through all right, did it not?"

He sighed, "You are too forgiving by far, much to our benefit. You really want to be a part of our family?"

She smiled at him, "I really, really do."

He stood and then gave her a hand up. "Let's go and talk with me brother then. Thorin has declared a recess until tomorrow in light of current events."

She raised an eyebrow and looped her arm through his, "Current events?"

He grinned down at her, "Why, an adoption of course. It's cause for a mountain wide celebration."

She beamed up at him, "So you're ok with this?"

"Getting a bonnie lass like you in our family? I'm beyond pleased and the others will be green with envy over this. They were hoping to snag you themselves."

She laughed at that but he didn't join in and she stared at him. "You're actually serious?"

He nodded, a smug grin on his face. "Course I am. Each of the family's were plotting. Except for the Durins of course, it's pretty much a sure thing that you'll be joining their family."

She blushed slightly at that but didn't deny it. He chuckled, a slightly malicious undertone in it, "You know what the best part is?" She shook her head. "Since I'm going to be your uncle, it means that I get to put the lad through his paces."

She snorted, "Don't you already do that?"

"Oh, aye. But I do that for the lad's sake. Now's he got to prove to me that he can protect and provide for you, which is a whole different kettle of fish. After all, not just anyone is worthy of my niece."

She couldn't help smiling at that, even if she felt a little sorry for Fili. Stretching onto her tiptoes, she kissed his cheek and then giggled when he blushed. He told her to wait in the hallway and then entered the room. Balin appeared in the door a few minutes later, closing the door quietly behind him. Bella smiled at him and looped her arm through his, before turning and making their way back down to the alcove where Dwalin had dragged her.

They talked for a good hour before making their way back to where the company was anxiously waiting. They walked in and proudly showed off their matching braids. It took a little while to get all of the paperwork sorted out, but then there was a feast prepared by Bombur and afterwards the company pulled out their instruments and there was dancing while Erebor sung along. Bella got to dance with everyone except for Fili until she pouted playfully at Dwalin and he finally handed her over with a threatening scowl at the blond prince.

He nodded calmly and then swept her into the dance, grinning widely. Her heart filled with love and happiness, she couldn't help the laughter that spilled joyfully from her. She had been wrong, all those months ago. Erebor wasn't the lonely mountain, Erebor was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just see Balin and Dwalin naturally protecting and nurturing her. And Erebor is so happy to have her dwarves back that she just wants everyone to be just as happy as she is.
> 
> Also, I feel like her grandfather was rather a merry old hobbit, why else would he enjoy Gandalf's fireworks so much? But I needed a villain for the story, so...


	5. Faded Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fili/Briar
> 
> Happy Friday! Enjoy

She didn't expect to overhear the two princes talking, had only wanted a moment of privacy to herself. It was hard at times, to be constantly surrounded by others, especially after she had been alone for so long. Most of the time she was fine, but every so often, it would come out of nowhere and smack her sideways with the need for a couple of minutes of peace and quiet. So after camp had been made, she'd slipped away, only to hear her name. 

She froze, thinking that they had seen her, but she heard Fili laugh at that, "Why would you even ask that?"

She peeked cautiously around the tree she had instinctively darted behind to see them gathering wood. Kili shrugged, "It's not so odd, she's a very attractive lass. Besides, you two seem to talk often enough."

It was Fili's turn to shrug and chuckle, "Yeah, she's peaceful, doesn't throw herself at us like the dams do and seems to have a decent mind on her, but actually court her?" He shuddered slightly, "Thank you, no."

She carefully backed away, her hand covering her mouth. The old adage about eavesdroppers whispered through her mind but she pushed it aside. She had not deliberately eavesdropped, she had been trying to get away from everyone. Once she was certain that she was fair enough away that they wouldn't hear her, she whirled away and strode off, her mind whirling and her heart aching. She didn't know how long she walked, trying to compose herself before heading back to camp.

Finally she stopped and leaned her forehead against a tree, savoring the cool rough bark against her skin while trying to draw a normal breath. She was struggling to breath, but it was a negligible pain besides that of her heart shattering again and again. She had thought, truly thought, that Fili and she were coming to an accord. However, his disdain on the matter was more than clear enough. It was rumored that other races could love more than once. But that was not true of hobbits. There was only the one chance and that was it. When she had opened the door for the golden prince, that was it. Before she'd opened the door, she'd had her heart, afterwards, she didn't, simple as that. Hobbits spoke highly of Ones, praising Yavanna for giving them the ability. They said that the sensation of finding your One was like coming home, there was no other comparison. And hobbits that lost their Ones did not survive unless there were faunts involved.

By welcoming him into her home and then going on the quest, she had acknowledged the bond. She had hoped that he would feel the bond as well, although that faded to hoping that he would eventually come to care for her when it became apparent that he didn't feel the bond as well. She had thought that they were making strides, that he tolerated her and even seemed to welcome her presence as well, at times. She gave a small, harsh bark of laughter. Apparently, she had thought wrong. With his few dismissive words, Fili had not only broken her heart but had signed her death warrant as well.

A large hand landed on her shoulder and she whirled, fumbling for her sword, only to stop when she saw it was Dwalin. She quickly masked her distress, slipping back into her well practiced company expression, "Master Dwalin, you startled me."

She must not have been quite swift enough because instead of scolding her, Dwalin said gruffly, "What's the matter, lass?"

She blinked up at him, genuinely confused, "What do you mean?"

He ran a hand over his head nervously before saying in a no nonsense tone, "Ye've been gone for quite a bit and now you looked rather pained."

Feeling a surge of affection for the gruff guard, she offered him a small smile, "As you know, I've been alone for quite a bit of time before this quest. The company is a lively lot and sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming. I just needed a few minutes of peace and quiet. However, I tripped over a root back there and barked my foot and it stung a bit. I'm fine, really." She blinked up at him as she realized something, "Did you come looking for me? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take so long."

Seemingly relieved that she wasn't going to burst into tears, he motioned for her to head back towards camp. "They're a noisy lot, I can understand why ye'd need a bit of quiet, but stay a bit closer to camp next time or ask me to go with you, I promise that I'll be quiet enough and I'll kill anything that you want me to."

She laughed at that and he grinned at her in return. At that moment, both Fili and Kili walked by obviously in search of more wood, but she ignored them. She needed some time to get her emotions together before she dared speak with Fili, otherwise who knew what would come out of her mouth. Instead, she watched where she put her feet and focused on making her way safely back to camp.

Dwalin watched the princes and growled, "Did those two say something rude to you?"

She shook her head and said quietly, "No, I just have a bit of a headache coming on. I'll ask Oin if he has any headache powder when we get back to camp. The boys just chatter a lot is all."

She could tell that Dwalin didn't totally believe her, but decided to let it go with a quiet, "See that you do."

They reached camp to find that dinner was ready and Ori brought her over her portion but Dwalin thankfully shooed him away after he'd given it to her, steering her to a relatively quiet area of camp before leaving her in peace, signing something to Oin that she was too frazzled to try and work out. However, when Oin brought her over a mug of tea for her headache, she thanked him and drank it quietly.

Finally dinner was over and feeling unable to deal with anyone in her present state of misery, she gathered her bedroll and set up a little nest in the roots of a large tree, still within the bounds of the camp that they had established but far enough away that everyone would hopefully leave her alone. Dark had fallen, so she curled up and allowed her tears to silently fall, thankful that no one would see them. She silently cursed everything, from hobbit biology to the quest to Fili. If she had never met him, she wouldn't be in this mess now. She sighed as she had to recant on the last one. This wasn't Fili's fault, it was what it was. Truthfully, it was no one's fault at all. Finally her tears ended and she had to resolve what to do from here. 

After a while, she made up her mind, she would do and say nothing. She still had a contract to fulfill and with luck, she would live at least long enough to face down the dragon. After all, what did she have to lose? Her life? It was already forfeit. Yes, better for one with nothing left to lose to face down a dragon than one with centuries of life ahead of them. And she didn't need to tell anyone. She would do her best to keep up and not make problems when the inevitable fading started. If she was going to die, she would do it with grace and dignity. With this resolution firmly in place, she finally managed to fall asleep.

* * *

She rose quietly the next morning, going through the motions automatically. Who would've thought all those months ago when she ran out the door all those weeks ago that traveling would become so normal for her. She studied the group quietly as she worked. She had thought about not speaking with them. But honestly, if she was going to die, why not live life to the fullest? Still, she glanced at Fili and glanced away, it would take a little bit of time to find her footing with Fili again.

As they started out, she saw the misty mountains drawing closer and tried to roughly calculate the distance. Two months minimum, maybe a bit more, if all went well. Well, she had enough Took stubbornness that she should be able to make it, although it would be close. She looked up to see Gandalf watching her worriedly and she offered him a tired smile. What would be would be and the wizard had told her that he couldn't guarantee that she would be the same hobbit if she ever came back.

She wasn't going to tell him anyway. The meddling wizard would think that he could fix it, when really, the heart wanted what it wanted. Her heart wanted Fili, his heart did not want her, simple as that. She ended up spending the next few days with Bifur. His company was peaceful and he was more than willing to teach her more iglishmek. 

However, things never went smoothly with this group. This was evinced by the thunder battle that they shortly found themselves in the middle of. That's when the first sign of the fading showed up. She should've made the leap easily from giant to cliff, but her strength faltered for that one critical moment, leaving her clinging to the side of the cliff, not that anyone noticed until Bofur called, "Where's the hobbit? Where's Briar?"

This led to her being rescued but managed to draw Thorin's ire down on her. When they were in the cave, the others avoided her, not wanting to draw the king's foul temper down on themselves. She didn't even bother to set up her sleeping roll, just huddled against the wall in in a corner, dripping miserably onto the floor. It wasn't like she could just tell Thorin, 'Your nephew broke my heart, so I'm slowly dying and that's why I couldn't make the jump. Oh, and by the way, the symptoms are probably going to get worse as the quest goes on, just so you know. Oh, don't worry, it doesn't hurt, it's just dying by inches is all. Hopefully I'll last long enough to deal with your damned dragon problem, but if I don't, well, it's all Fili's fault.'

The thought almost amused her and her heart started to slow from where it had been rabbiting in her chest ever since she almost fell. She shifted slightly, trying to get more comfortable. Even if she wanted to leave, go back to Rivendell or something after Thorin's harsh words, it wouldn't do any good, she was just as dead. No, better for her death to mean something. She knew that she would have to accept it at some point and not think about it every moment, but right now it weighed rather heavily on her thoughts. However, her train of thought was interrupted anyway by her sword glowing blue and then they were falling.

* * *

By the time she managed to escape that cursed death trap of the mountain, Briar was thoroughly weary. She was glad that she had seen the company run by, because she simply did not have the energy to go back into the mountain and drag them away from whatever current thing wanted to kill them, especially after dealing with the twisted creep in the dark.

She forced herself into a tired jog after them, her muscles protesting the exercise. She arrived just in time to hear Thorin malign her once again. True weariness washed over her and she slipped off the ring, sticking it in her pocket. Stepping out from behind the tree, she said flatly, too tired for anger or outrage, "No, I'm not. I'm right here."

When Thorin demanded to know why, she said softly, struggling to even out her breathing from the run, "I know you doubt me, I know you always have. I'm nothing more than a soft hobbit lass far from home. But that's why I came back. Because you don't have one, a home, that is. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can. You have my word on that."

Before the company could really process that, a warg howled and they were running. It was one of the most miserable runs of her life and having to scramble up a tree, her grip slipping only to have Dori snag her wrist and pull her the rest of the way up. Though she had to admit, throwing the fiery pine cones was quite fun and a memory that she would cherish if they managed to survive the night. Then of course, because the dwarves were little deadly danger magnets, their arch enemy had to show up and Thorin had to challenge him head on.

Despite everything, despite the harshness of the journey and the strain of everything else plus Thorin's harsh words, he truly was a good dwarf and a good leader and she didn't want to see him die. She had nothing left to lose, so she scampered after him, managing to throw herself between him and his enemies and prolong his death at least a little bit. As it turned out, a little bit was all that was needed, as the rest of the dwarves came to a roaring rescue and then Gandalf managed to pull the eagles out of nowhere. 

Perched on an eagle's back, she marveled at the fact that she somehow still lived. She spoke her thanks to the eagle and to her surprise, the eagle answered. They had a nice conversation and Briar filed it under surprising things that she never expected to happen but was quite nice nonetheless. When they landed on the carrock, she found that she was quite sad to say goodbye. The eagle however bowed briefly to her before winging after it's companions.

She had to admit, she was rather freaked out when Thorin came around, apologized to her, and then hugged her. She was sure that her face must have been a sight, but she couldn't help it. Then, while they were all admiring Erebor, she slumped to her knees, dots swimming across her vision. She managed to pull herself together by the time that the dwarves finally managed to pull themselves from the mountain, but she frowned inwardly. If she was already experiencing such signs, well, that was not a good sign. She sighed even as the dwarves squabbled over the best way to descend the enormous rock.

* * *

It was the last day at Beorn's when Gandalf finally approached her where she was smoking peacefully in the garden. He sat beside her and she silently offered him some of her carefully hoarded Old Toby. He accepted it and the smoked in silence for several minutes before he said bluntly, "You're fading, aren't you?"

She inhaled and carefully blew a smoke ring before saying, "What makes you say that?"

Gandalf humored her, "You're losing weight, even at our hosts generous table, you are exhausted and have had at least one dizzy spell that I've observed, and the light is gone from your eyes. It has been for a while."

She said softly, "My mother faded, you know, after father passed. It's not such a bad way to die, Gandalf."

His expression saddened immensely and he asked quietly, "Who broke your heart, Briar? If I had known that this is what would happen, I would've never brought you."

She smiled warmly at him, "I'm not going to tell you, Gandalf. It is what it is. And I'm glad that I've gotten to see and experience things that I never would've gotten to see or do otherwise. I'll have a lot to tell my mother when I reach the gardens, Gandalf. It is what it is. And don't look so sad, I won't die before we reached Erebor. I signed a contract and a Baggins always fulfills their contract, no matter what. Now, don't waste this fine weed with such melancholy. I bet that I can blow better rings than you can."

He smiled at that, "I am a wizard, Briar, I can easily blow better rings."

Neither of them noticed the shadow that made their way quietly back inside.

* * *

The battle was chaos. Briar cursed it even as she cut her way through the army of orcs and wargs, trying to catch up to those rock headed Durins. Even after all this time, they still didn't have the sense the Valar gave a faunt. As it was, they almost strolled right into an ambush. She managed to head them off just in time, eventually managing to save all three, not that she gave them time to talk with her. She didn't pause to catch her breath until they were safely back with Dwalin and a phalanx of other dwarves. With Azog and Bolg both dead, the odds of them making it through this just increased substantially. 

A wave of lightheadedness, her constant companion of late, washed over her and she stumbled over to the tower and slid down until she was sitting, still wearing her ring. As her strength drained away like water from a faulty water skin, she allowed her eyes to flutter shut. The line of Durin had survived and Erebor had been reclaimed. Her contract had been fulfilled, she could rest now.

* * *

She woke as the sun was sinking in the west. She blinked her eyes open, surprised to find that she was still alive. She sighed, seeing that the battle was over. What was she supposed to do now? She had been banished from the dwarves, but neither did she want to wait around idly until she died. Seeing others moving through the battlefield, checking for survivors and dispatching enemy wounded, she decided that that was what she would do. 

Slipping off the ring, she double checked that she still had Sting before pushing slowly to her feet and making her way through the battle field. True darkness had fallen and she was helping a wounded soldier drink when a human healer found her and urged her back to one of the healing tents to rest and have her wounds tended to. Briar wanted to protest, but the woman was insistent and won in the end.

Briar was placed in a healing tent on a spare cot and she had the feeling that the humans thought that she was a girl child, but she was too weary to protest. She napped, but it was rough and disjointed. So in between bouts of sleep when she could muster a little bit of energy, she assisted where she could with bandaging and such before she was sent away again.

She was growing weak rapidly at an alarming pace, struggling to make it through the most basic things before having to collapse back on her cot again.

It was on the third day after the battle when she was lying listlessly on the cot. The tent was quiet for the moment and she appreciated it, enjoying the warmth of the sunlight from the open front of the tent. She wondered idly how the company was doing and wished that she could've seen them before the end. Still, as cruel as it seemed, it was probably better that they believed that she had perished on the battlefield.

A commotion outside the tent drew her attention and she propped herself up slightly to try and see what was going on. To her surprise, Fili limped into view, a determined desperation on his face. Kili was hovering at his elbow, exhaustion clear on his face and Bifur was with both of them, clearly serving as a guard. She huddled down on the cot, praying that he wasn't looking for her, that something else had brought him to the human healing tents.

While Kili murmured quietly to the healers, Fili started wordlessly working his way through the rows of cots, pausing here and there to examine one a bit closer before moving on. She held her breath as he moved closer and closer. Finally he reached her cot and she could only lay there as she looked up and met his blue eyes. Relief washed over his face as he crashed to his knees besides her cot. Reaching out to cup her face, he said hoarsely, "Briar."

She sighed but offered him a slight smile, pleased that she had gotten to see him at least one last time. She breathed, "Fili."

He took her in, her apparent weakness and thinness and determination spread over his face. Climbing slowly to his feet, he scooped her up in his arms and turned to make his way from the tent. She protested weakly, "Fili, no! You're hurt!"

He ignored her and kept walking. The head healer kicked up a fuss over them taking her, but she soothed the woman, "It's alright, Berta. These are my friends. Thank you for watching out for me."

Berta wasn't happy with this turn of events, but reluctantly allowed them to take her.

Briar's strength gone, she leaned heavily against Fili's chest. She looked over to see Kili watching her with a broken, horrified expression. She tried to smile at the younger prince, but it must've been more of a grimace from his expression. Although it wasn't much of an issue, she beckoned Kili closer and murmured, "Thorin exiled me. I can't go back with all of you."

Kili's throat worked hard for several moments before he managed to force out hoarsely, "As soon as he was free from gold thrall, uncle took everything back. You're not banished, you're a hero." He paused, looking away in what was clearly a desperate bid on his part to get his emotions under control. Looking back, his eyes bright with tears, he asked, "Is that why you didn't come back?"

She sighed, "Kili, I'm dying. Never thought that I would even live this long. I didn't want all of you to have to watch me die. I've come to care for all of you."

Fili's arms pulled her even closer and his pace picked up slightly. He growled, "You're not going to die, I refuse to let you die. I'll fight Mahal himself if I have to, but you are not going to die."

She sighed, resting her hand over his heart, "Oh Fili, I don't think that this can be stopped. I'm sorry."

He shook his head, "Don't be sorry, be your usual stubborn hobbit self. Don't give up on us. Fight to live, ghivashel. We'll be back at our tent soon, Oin and Gandalf are there. They'll have you set straight in a trice."

She sighed softly, "This is nothing that they can fix, Fili. It's just an unpleasant fact of being a hobbit."

He just grunted, ignoring her words entirely. She shoved down the urge to laugh like a mad woman. She had prayed the he would come to care for her and when it became apparent that he didn't care for her, she prayed that he would find someone and be happy, even if it wasn't with her. It looked like neither prayer was coming true. Maybe she should start praying for the opposite of what she wanted to actually happen.

Before she knew it, they were making their way through the dwarven camp and she noticed that the dwarves were stopping and staring at the two princes and their burden. She mumbled to Kili, "Are you sure that this is a good idea? Everyone is staring."

Kili grinned at her, although it was tired, "Everyone's been looking for you, Briar. Like I said, uncle declared you a hero. Everyone's been wanting to find you and bring you back safe to the company." 

Bifur gave a grunt of agreement. Briar said guiltily, "I haven't even asked about everyone. I'm just so tired."

Her eyes started to flutter shut and Fili jostled her while Kili barked, "Stay awake, you can't sleep yet." She hauled up her eyelashes with effort and Kili gave her a strained smile, "The rest of the company is all right, minor injuries, nothing that we won't survive. The only one that was missing was you and now you're back with us and everything is going to be all right."

They finally reached the largest tent and she could make out Dwalin's and Thorin's voices coming from inside. At a scowl from Kili, the guard hastily held open the flap for Fili. They strode in unconcernedly, although Bifur growled something to the guard in Khuzdul before joining them. The voices fell silent as they entered and she lifted her head just enough to see Thorin sitting up in a cot, a small table covered with papers on his lap, while Dwalin was perched on a stool next to them. Gandalf was sitting comfortably on the other side of the bed, smoking irritably.

Relief shone brightly in Thorin's eye and he breathed, "You found her."

Seeing the state that she was in, Dwalin climbed to his feet and bellowed for another cot to be brought in. She chuckled weakly at the speed he was obeyed, she was carefully laid on the cot just a couple of minutes later, Kili urging Fili to sit in the chair he'd dragged over. Enough pillows were located that she could sit comfortably propped up. She said softly, "Hello, Thorin."

Using Dwalin's assistance, Thorin carefully climbed out of his bed and made his way over, regret and relief mingling freely on his face. He said quietly, "Briar Baggins, I cannot ever apologize enough for my actions. Everything I am, from my crown to my braids, I offer you in recompense. Never has there been a more loyal companion than you."

Dizziness swamped her and it took her a moment to recover enough to speak. "Thorin, it was the gold sickness, it wasn't you. There is nothing to forgive. Besides, I wouldn't take your crown for a kingdom. Running a kingdom is much more work than I want to deal with. You may actually come to regret retaking Erebor if dwarf squabbles and disputes are anything like hobbit ones. Just live and be a good king, Thorin. Enjoy your life, laugh more and treasure your family. Those are the things that you'll regret at the end if you don't do them. That's all I ask for."

Oin bustled in at that moment, his healer's kit in his hand. She greeted him breathlessly and he immediately started looking her over. She could've told him that it was useless, but knew that the grumpy healer would not be dissuaded. While Oin looked her over, Fili held her hand, his fingers laced with hers. Even that small connection with her One helped and her breathing eased, along with a smidge of her dizziness.

After he finished, he sat back on his heels, his expression confused, "Other than fading bruises and nicks, I can't find anything wrong with her."

Fili glared at him, "That's clearly not right."

Gandalf chose that moment to speak up, "You're right, she's dying actually." 

All three Durins actually paled at that and Dwalin reached for his axes like her illness might be something that that he could kill for her. She felt her heart soften at that. He was a gruff dwarf, but he was a gentle giant at heart. That he was willing to take on her illness for her told her that she had become one of his charges that he cared for and maybe even his friend.

His hand tightened on hers and Fili demanded, "You're a wizard, Tharkun. Can't you do something for her, like you did for uncle on the Carrock?"

Gandalf's eyes saddened even further, "This is something that I can't fix. She's fading, lad."

Oin paled at that, "Ye mean, like the elves?"

Gandalf nodded and Fili demanded, "That's the second time I've heard that term. Fading. What does it mean?"

Oin said wearily, "For elves, and I'm guessing for hobbits, when they lose their Ones, they will die as well, unless theirs a child involved."

All of the males in the tent frowned in confusion and Briar sighed. "For hobbits, it's a little more than that. If their One rejects them, then they will also fade as well. A hobbit only loves once, when they meet their One, that is it. It's said to be like coming home. It is a gift to treasure. But sometimes things don't turn out the way that one would want it to. It is what it is, no one is at fault."

Thorin asked wearily, "Is there no way to fix this, Tharkun? Or is she doomed to die?"

Gandalf said quietly, ignoring Briar glaring daggers at him. "If her One should love her, truly love her in return, and convince her of this, her heart would heal and she would live. But the bond would know the truth and if the dwarf was only trying to save her but didn't truly love her, then it wouldn't take. And before you ask, she refused to tell me that name of her One."

Fili made a strangled sound and shoved to his feet, moving to the other side of the tent and pacing back and forth agitatedly. Kili slid into the seat next to her, his expression distraught. She murmured to Kili, "He's hurt, he shouldn't be pacing like that."

Kili's face was grave, the expression much too old for the youthful, laughing prince. "He's hurting, Briar. He's been through hell for the past three days thinking that you were dead. Now he's got to deal with the fact that his One, the one that he loves, is dying and can only be saved by someone who loves her, truly loves her in return. In two out of three scenarios, he loses you. And let's face it, Durin's just aren't lucky."

Anger surged in her and she pushed herself up a little higher. She said, her voice low and harsh, "You're wrong. He made it abundantly clear that I'm nothing more than a friend, but the thought of courting me was quite distasteful. Now, suddenly, I'm his One and he loves me? I can understand that he's confused and hurting from the gold sickness and everything that happened, but I'm not accepting anything beyond that. Just because he's guilty about events doesn't mean that he loves me."

Before the words had even fully left her mouth, Fili was there kneeling beside her bed, reaching for her hand, wide eyed. Moments later Dwalin was there, gently taking Kili's arm. "Everyone out, this is between the two of them."

Kili and Dwalin each took a side of Thorin and allowed him to lean on them as they left the tent, followed quickly by Oin and Bifur, leaving the two of them alone. Neither of them noticed, too focused on each other. Fili breathed out, "It's me? I'm your One?" She looked down, not wanting to answer, but he lifted her chin gently until her eyes met his. "Briar?"

She sighed, her anger suddenly fleeing her, "It's not your fault, Fili. The Valar weave as they will and it's not your fault that the heart wants what it wants. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to burden you with this. You already had enough on your shoulders."

His voice was soft and intimate, only loud enough for her to hear, "Are you my One, Briar?"

Unable to help herself, she murmured back, "Yes, Fili, yes."

He reached out and cupped her face with both hands, leaning his forehead gently against hers, not taking his eyes off of hers. "How long have you known?"

She searched his face uncertainly, "Since I opened the door and first saw you. Why is this important, Fili?"

"All this time? And you never said anything? Why? And you can't have been fading from the start. But how did I break your heart?"

She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, before opening them again and meeting his eyes, "Fili, it was nothing that I could control. One moment I had my heart, the next, you had it. But I didn't know how dwarves did it. For all I knew, you all would think that I was insane for claiming that you were my One, or some sort of greedy money grubber or wanna be royalty chaser. I was hoping that we might come to know each other during the quest and that something more might grow between us. That's why I signed up. I thought, that maybe after you got to know me, as a person, I could explain about the fact that you were my One and that maybe we could explore that. But then things were so crazy and I know that I didn't show myself off to my best advantage, although I was doing my best. But I happened across you and Kili talking one day in the woods, before the Misty Mountains. You said that I wasn't as aggressive as the dams were and that I seemed to have a decent mind, but to actually court me, no thank you." She sighed and a tear trailed from the corner of her eye. "That's when I knew that my hope was in vain. It wasn't, isn't, your fault. You can't help whom you're attracted to, and I never blamed you. I just wanted to live long enough to face Smaug and fulfill my contract and then hopefully die with dignity. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you all grieving or trying to force something that couldn't be fixed."

He used his thumb to brush away her tear, "Oh Briar, you were never supposed to hear that."

She offered him a crooked smile, "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I was just looking for a little bit of peace and quiet. Like I said, it isn't your fault."

It was his turn to close his eyes before reopening them, his expression pained, "No, you don't understand. Kili had been teasing me for several days about you. He knew that I'd been smitten with you since the first time that I'd ever laid eyes on you. But I'm the crown prince. I'd vowed to put the quest before all else, even up to and including my One. So I told Kili that to get him off my back. However, you must have left immediately afterwards, because he kept pestering me until I finally broke down and admitted both the vow and the fact that you are my One. He kept pushing for me to just tell you, but I refused to do it until after we reclaimed Erebor. All of this time, you've been suffering because of my stupid careless words. Oh Briar."

She pulled back slightly and he reluctantly let his hands fall to his lap, clenching into fists. Her heart both leapt and fell at the same time. She wanted to believe him, she really did but he was such a kind responsible dwarf. She chewed uncertainly on her lip before saying softly, "I want to believe you, Fili, I really do, but..."

His expression was both hopeful and wary when he met her eyes, "But?"

"You're such a kind dwarf. You care so much for everyone, kin and friends both. Plus, you take much too much responsibility onto your shoulders. I don't want to trap you into anything just because of your sense of honor. That's a major reason that I never said anything. I wanted you to love me because you wanted to, not because you have to."

He laughed at that, his expression a mixture of darkness and light, "No, Briar, this isn't selflessness on my part. This is a deep, deep selfishness. I want you, crave you, with every fiber of my being. All my life, I've done what's best for everyone else. As crown prince, I have sacrificed and put everyone else first. But you, I want you all to myself. I adore you from your adorable furry toes to your stunning golden curls. I want to hoard all of your laughter and smiles, your warmness and friendship and easy forgiveness. I want all of your hopes and dreams and fears and tears. I want to hold you when you cry and steal the very laughter from your lips with sweet kisses. I want you to be the one that I come to, my safe place where I can scream and rail and curse against the world, so let go of my facade of perfect prince and just be Fili. To be tired and disgruntled and even disheveled if need be. To be able to sleep late in bed and even hog the covers. To be a slob and just leave my clothes all over the room. Yours too, where they were pulled off in a hurry. To wake tangled up in you, your heart beating in time with mine. Lazy kisses traded back and forth while we ignore the pounding on the door because they want me to attend yet another interminable council meeting. That's what I want."

Her heart melted but doubt still gnawed at her, "How is that selfish?"

He chuckled darkly, "Dwarves are highly possessive, Briar. I want all of you. Your heart, soul, mind, and body. I wish that I could say that I would be happy if you were happy with someone else, but I just can't say that."

She offered him a smile that was shy yet warm as she admitted, "Hobbits are the same. We love our comforts, food, drink, kin, and those that we love. That's why hobbits don't survive the loss of their One."

Heat flared in his eyes, but he didn't move a muscle. He said hoarsely, "How can I prove to you that I love you? How can I make you believe me?"

Tears clogged her throat, "I don't know, I wish I could say do this or that and everything will be perfect. But it's not you, I mean that it is you, but it's me as well. I've always been odd in the Shire. The weird spinster Baggins that no one has ever wanted to court. I've been mocked and isolated most of my life. The thought that anyone could love me, truly love me, is really hard to wrap my mind around."

He cast about fruitlessly, his hands opening and closing helplessly. Finally he seemed to come to a decision and he looked up at her, determination burning in his eyes. "Kiss me."

Her eyes widened, "What?"

He took both of her hands in his, squeezing them gently, "Kiss me. Just one kiss. If you feel nothing, then we'll figure out another way to save you. Just, give me this one opportunity."

She seesawed back and forth, but ultimately couldn't pass up the opportunity to kiss her One. Nodding, she reached out and gently cradled his face in her hands, rubbing her thumb over his cheekbone. Taking a deep breath, she leaned down and brushed her lips lightly over his before settling her lips more firmly against his. His lips were warm and firm and it felt like lightning shot through her as their lips connected.

He gently wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down into his lap, his lips coaxing hers open gently, softly deepening the kiss. Her hands slid from his face and up to tangle into his hair. It was a sweet kiss, one of two souls meeting. Only when she could go no longer without breathing did she pull back. He rested his forehead on hers and she smiled softly up at him, murmuring shyly, "Wow."

He dropped another kiss on her nose, relief and happiness shining in his eyes as he murmured back, "Wow indeed, amralime. Do you believe me now?"

She shook her head, "I think that I need a second one to decide." Tugging gently on his hair, she pulled him back down for another kiss, one that he was all too happy to comply with.

This kiss lasted longer and was a little more heated until her head was swimming and she had to pull back. She rested her forehead against his shoulder, trembling. She murmured wistfully, "I wish I wasn't so weak." Something occurred to her and her head flew up in horror, "I shouldn't even be on your lap, you were injured."

Fili pulled her gently back closer, "A small wound and you're so light that you couldn't hurt a fly at this moment." He cradled her gently, one hand at the back of her head while the other was around the small of her back

.Briar sagged against him, her eyes drooping against her wishes. She mumbled, "I'm sorry, Fili, I'm just so tired."

He pressed a kiss to her curls, "Sleep, love. I'll be right here to guard you."

She mustered up the energy to pull back and shake her finger at him, "Un-uh, mister. Kili said that you've been a wreck for three days. That tells me that you haven't been sleeping either. There's enough room on the cot for both of us and nothing's going to get to us in the middle of all these dwarves." She added shyly, "Didn't you say that you wanted to wake up with me in your arms?"

He went to respond but a large yawn cut him off. She giggled at that and shakily rose to her feet, motioning for him to do the same. She made him lay down first, which caused him to grumble as he slid off his boots. Once he was stretched out, she carefully crawled onto the cot and into his open arms, carefully pillowing her head on his shoulder. His arms closed around her, tenderly tucking her closer to him. She felt tension seep out of him and he let out a long sigh of relief. She teased, "Afraid I'm going to disappear if you're not holding me?"

He grumbled, "Don't even tease about that. I've been through hell since Thorin banished you." He yawned abruptly, "Haven't been able to sleep since the battle, terrified that you were lying out there dead."

She reached up and ran a hand gently over his jaw trying to soothe him and he leaned into it. She asked wearily, "What even made you check the human healing tents?"

He gently cradled the back of her head before running his fingers through her curls, "Tauriel has been checking the elven camps and everyone has been looking for you all over the battlefield. Nori's been searching through the dwarves, although with your banishment, we couldn't decide if you'd avoid the dwarves like the plague or if you'd hide amongst them as the last possible place that anyone would look. Bard said that he'd let us know if he saw you, but there are so many humans. I wanted to check for myself, and something seemed to lead me that way. Why were you there?"

Her eyes fluttered shut and she couldn't fight it. She murmured, "It was happenstance more than anything else. I passed out after you all were safe, up atop Ravenhill. When I woke, it was edging towards sunset. Surprised that I woke up, actually. I was banished, so I couldn't go back, but I didn't want to just wait around to die. So I was assisting with battlefield tasks, checking the dead, tending the wounded, dispatching enemy wounded. Berta found me there and insisted that I go back to the healing tents and rest. I think she thought that I was a child, but I was just too tired to correct her. I've been there since, doing my best to help when I wasn't feeling too ill."

The arm around her waist tugged her even tighter, "You are going to get better, right?"

She snuggled even closer, "I should, but right now we both need sleep. Love you."

As she slipped into sleep, she could've sworn that he pressed a kiss to the top of her head before murmuring that he loved her too. But darkness washed over her and she knew no more.

* * *

Half an hour had passed before anyone ventured back into the tent. Kili was concerned by the silence and fearful that Fili hadn't been able to convince Briar and that she had slipped away, how was she even still alive with how thin and frail she was, she looked like a stiff breeze would blow her away. If that's what had happened, they would lose Fili as well. His brother had given up too much, sacrificed too much, for everyone else. Should he lose his One now, well, it didn't bear thinking on.

So with a goodly amount of fear, he crept into the tent, holding his breath. To his amazement, the sight that met his eyes was not the one that he had feared to see. Fili and Briar were fast asleep, his brother wrapped firmly around the lass as if to protect her from all harm, even in their sleep. Either that or he feared that she would disappear if he took his eyes off of her. However, both of their breathing was deep and even, so he was hopeful. 

Sticking his head out of the tent, he signed that it was safe for them to enter. The dwarves crept into the tent, quietly for them, but neither of the sleepers stirred. Thorin stared down uneasily at them, "Is she going to be all right? I'm worried that if we lose her, we'll lose him as well."

Oin was loathe to disturb them, Fili hadn't slept for days and the hobbit lass looked so frail. However, as Gandalf observed them, he let out a sigh of relief, "She's going to be just fine. Hobbits truly are remarkable creatures. She's been fading for months, but most hobbits would've faded entirely in the first week. See the color in her cheeks? She's going to survive and even thrive. You've never seen a hobbit bonded with their One. A truly more content, happier creature you have never seen. There is a reason that the Shire is so prosperous. It will take time for her to regain full health, but she will truly recover."

Kili slumped to the ground, relief crashing over him. Dwalin leaned over and hauled him to his feet. "None of that, lad. Everything's going to be fine. Now, go and get some sleep, there's nothing going on that can't wait for a few hours while everyone rests."

Tauriel entered the tent at that moment, disappointment and fear plain on her face. Kili flew across the tent and hugged her hard, relief flowing through him. Tauriel was startled and awkwardly hugged him back. She murmured, "I'm sorry, Kili. I couldn't find your friend."

Kili pulled away and turned her towards the cot, beaming. "That's all right, we found her. Everything's going to be all right."

As they watched, Thorin carefully made his way over and covered them with a blanket. Without turning, he said quietly, "You need rest as well, sister son. You've earned it and I'm proud of you. Now scat before you wake them." He turned to Dwalin, "I believe that I shall rest as well, now that everyone is accounted for."

Dwalin nodded approvingly, "About time, you rock headed Durins."

Chuckling, Thorin just shook his head and made his way back over to his cot.


	6. Braids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bella/Kili 
> 
> Along with Matchmaker Ori and Protective Dwalin
> 
> Any time during the quest
> 
> (My muse was a little bit giggly/loopy today and this was the result. Enjoy)

Ever since she had first opened the door of her smial, Bella had been fascinated by the dark haired prince. Yes, she admitted that amongst the dwarves, Fili's hair was much more unusual, but for some reason, everything about Kili drew her to him. Maybe it was his bright smile, maybe it was his infectious laughter and humor, maybe it was the way that he always tried his hardest. She didn't know what exactly it was that drew her to him.

Whatever it was, it had caused her to fall hard and fast for the dwarven prince, skipping attraction and crush and going straight to deep, unwavering love. She thought she had been discreet in her attraction, he was a prince for Pete's sake and she was just a carrot haired hobbit. However, when Bofur and Ori approached her one day when she was walking at the back of the line, she had to rethink how subtle she was actually being.

Her face flamed as she protested quietly, "I can't just court him. He's a prince, for Yavanna's sake. He could do so much better than some carrot haired hobbit spinster."

Both Ori and Bofur scowled at that. Bofur said quietly, "You're a bonny lass, those hobbit lads of yers must be blind to not see what a treasure ye are. Yer hair's not like a carrot but holds the glory of a sunset in it. And many a dwarf would be rightly envious of those bonny curls of yers. Besides, doesn't matter if he's a prince or not. Dwarves don't stand on propriety about that, not like men do. Their amad promised that they'd be free to love as their heart willed."

She propped her hands on her hips and scowled at them, "And just what makes you think that I'd be a fitting match for him anyway."

Ori said practically, "You love him."

She looked around and shushed him, "Ori! Not so loud!"

Bofur grinned at her, "Are you saying that you don't love the prince then."

Her face felt like it was going to catch fire at any moment. "I didn't say that. But just because I love him is no guarantee that he'll care for me in return."

Ori piped up again and she was seriously tempted to strangle him, "That's what courtships for. How do hobbits court?"

She immediately shook her head. "That's not going to work. It involves extravagant meals, special bouquets, and meeting the family. No, hobbit courting was not made to endure travel. What about dwarven?"

Both Bofur and Ori sighed, "Well now, lass, that's going to be a mite difficult as well. There's strength of arms." 

She said drily, "And we don't need a dead hobbit before the dragon, thank you."

"Hunting or crafting to show that you can provide for your chosen one."

She sighed, "Neither of which I can do, not to mention that Thorin and Dwalin would not allow me to go alone in the woods with a weapon even to save my life."

Bofur chortled at that, "That is saving your life, lass."

She scowled at him before turning to Ori and saying practically, "You see, we can't even figure out how to court properly. This would never work out between us. You're a sweet friend though, I really appreciate it."

Ori got a mulish expression on his face. "Let me think about it. I'm sure that there's something that we can do to show that you're interested in him."

* * *

It wasn't until a few days later when they were walking at the back of the line again that Ori brought that matter up again. "I think that I've found a solution."

She looked at him, puzzled, "For what?"

He rolled his eyes at her like she was dense. "About courting."

She threw up her hands, "You can't still be looking at that. We don't even hardly speak, Ori. It's a sweet thought but let it go."

He shook his head stubbornly, "You two are just perfect for each other, I know it."

She sighed, knowing that he wouldn't let it go. Although, she had to admit that she was a little curious as well. It wouldn't hurt to just listen, right? "Ok, what did you find?"

He grumbled, "It wasn't easy, I had to speak with Balin and Dori. My nadad had a fit wanting to know who it was amongst the company that I wanted to court." 

Bella distinctly recalled the whispered kerfuffle between Ori and Dori the other night and felt bad for causing it. When she apologized though, he just waved it aside, "It was for a good cause and heaven's knows that he's fussed at me worse for less. Anyway, we found an old tradition. It will work especially well where Kili doesn't braid his hair."

She frowned at him, feeling suddenly uneasy, "What does his hair have to do with anything?"

Ori grinned at her and her heart sank even further, "There's a very old tradition that proposes courtship. A dwarf must sneak into the dwelling of the one he wants to court, undo and redo their braids without waking them, in patterns that show how the dwarf feels about them, who he thinks they are. If they do this successfully three times, they can come forwards and offer courtship."

She squinted at him, unsure if he was having a joke on her, but his expression was deadly serious and filled with excitement. She sighed, "There's one problem with that Ori."

His excitement dampered slightly, but he could tell that it wasn't a no, yet, so he said cautiously, "And what might that be?"

She sighed again, "I don't know the language of braids any more than I do Khuzdul or you do of flowers."

He grinned brightly at that and she knew that she'd lost. "I can teach you those, easily. Now we just have to figure out what you want to say."

After arguing for over an hour, they finally settled on Handsome, Brave, and Kind, in that order. Once that was decided, Ori carefully drew diagrams in his journal and walked her through the process until she was sure that she could recite it in her sleep. Her nerves kept her on edge for the rest of the day and when it came time to retire, she just lay down and stared blindly at the sky, anxiously going over the braid for Handsome again in her mind.

After what seemed like hours, but was probably only an hour at most, all of the dwarves except for Dwalin who was on watch had settled down completely to sleep. Gathering all of her courage, she rose and slipped over to where Kili was sleeping next to his brother. She glanced hesitantly over at Dwalin, but he steadfastly ignored her, so she took a deep breath and got to work. Her hands shook and she had to restart three times, thinking that he was waking up, but eventually she got the braids just so like Ori had shown her. With a sigh of relief, she made her way back to her bedroll, suddenly exhausted.

Because of this, she overslept and missed his reaction, but his hair was unbraided when she arose, so she took it as a sign that it was not received favorably. Ori shot her a grin and she rolled her eyes, hanging with Oin and talking with him about herbs. Still, near dinner time, she gathered wood with Ori and had him walk her through the steps of the second braid, Brave.

This time Kili took longer to fall asleep and it was more than likely because he knew that someone had done his hair the night before. But eventually he drifted off and she was able to braid his hair again. Once again Dwalin was on watch, although tonight he was smoking a pipe and he had saluted her cheekily with it. She was awake before the dawn, her stomach alight with nerves. She was helping Bombur with breakfast when Kili woke up. Upon realizing that his hair was braided yet again, he scowled and punched his brother in the arm before undoing the braid.

Bella sighed softly and Bombur offered her a commiserating glance before continuing cooking. Kili sulked most of the day, not speaking to any one.

Bella was ready to scupper the entire thing, Kili was obviously not liking it at all (and it wasn't because the braids were wrong, she had double checked with Ori to make sure that she hadn't messed up and braided something offensive in his hair), but Ori coaxed her forward, telling her that she was so close and that she could talk with Kili about it personally tomorrow.

So dredging up every last bit of courage she had, she was part Took after all, she braided the final braid in his hair, this the most intricate of the three by far. She was on pins and needles the rest of the night, unable to sleep where she was torn between hope and despair. Who was she to think that she could court a prince. She wished that she hadn't let Ori talk her into this, but on the other hand, if he agreed to courting, there was hope that he could return her affections. But on the other hand, she could just as easily end up heartbroken. Why oh why did she ever let Ori convince her that this had a chance of working out.

As it turned out, she should've listened to her gut instead of Ori. She had practiced what she had wanted to say over and over again, choosing to use language as close to traditional as she could. But she never even had a chance to speak. Kili jumped up from his bedroll and yelled something at Fili, who looked offended and roared something back. This went back and forth for a few minutes before Kili seemed to accept whatever his brother was saying as truth. 

Bella's heart had turned to stone by this point and lodged itself in her throat. Kili turned and glared balefully at the company. He yelled, "I'm going to shave whoever is doing this bald!"

Feeling her heart crack, she knew that this was a bad idea but thought that he would at least be a little kind about it, she kind of lost her mind. Before any of the dwarves could stop her, she pulled her hair into a tail and sliced it off. She chucked it at Kili and said quietly, the tone so cold that it could cause frost, "I was trying to court you! But clearly my affections are not worthy of you. Don't worry, your highness, I won't make the same mistake again. Pardon my forwardness."

Relieved that she had already packed up her pack, she snatched it up and whirled away from the shell shocked dwarves. They'd been heading in an easterly direction, anyone could head that way. She stomped off. The company could either follow or not. As she walked, she muttered and fumed under her breath while sawing off her short curls and tossing them into the undergrowth. 

Finally her hair was little more than stubble on top of her head. Sheathing her dagger, she ran a hand over her head and muttered under her breath. Kili might want her entirely bald, but she was not going to try and actually shave her head while she was moving. Knowing the luck that this company had, or didn't have, depending on how you looked at it, she'd somehow manage to slit her own throat.

Her stomach chose that moment to gurgle unhappily and she cursed in Hobbitish. Sighing, she stopped and pulled of her pack, pulling out the bit of cram that she had squirreled away. She straightened and turned, only to fall on her rear with a squeak of surprise when she found Dwalin standing (read looming) behind her.

He held out his hand and helped her gently to her feet. She went to scold him for startling her when she caught a glimpse of his face. She wasn't overly familiar with his expressions because he mainly did stoic, but it she had to put a name to the emotion there, she'd have to say devastation. She patted his arm reassuring, "It's ok, Dwalin, you just startled me."

She glanced around, "Shouldn't you be with Thorin and the princes? It's not safe out here."

He looked like he was torn between laughing and strangling her. Finally he forced out, "Lass, you took off. Those rock headed Durins can defend themselves just fine for a bit. You're the one that I was worried about."

She sighed, nibbling downheartedly on her cram, "I shouldn't have down that, Dwalin, I'm sorry. I was just a little bit upset."

His hand clenched on Grasper's handle and he growled, "Don't apologize, lass. This is not your fault. That fool should beg your forgiveness on his knees."

She shook her head, "No, no begging, no him losing his hair, nothing. I just want to forget this happened." She ran her hand over her head again and offered him a half smile, "I shouldn't have done this. My mother always said that my hair was a physical manifestation of my temper and she was right." She sighed, "I suppose we should rejoin the others."

He released his ax and crossed his arms, "It's up to you, lass. But yer stuck with me, whichever way you decide."

She sighed, "Well now, this is embarrassing. I'll rejoin the company, but I don't want to talk with anyone right now." She sighed again. "I hate to say it this way, but I'm feeling rather, fragile, right now and rather than create a major diplomatic incident rather that the spectacle that I've already made of myself, I'd rather just keep to myself today."

Dwalin nodded, "Very well, lass. After you."

She blushed, "I'm afraid that I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, only that I was heading East."

Instead of teasing her like he normally would, he just inclined his head and took the lead, making sure that he kept her in the periphery of his vision. She winced as they drew near enough to hear Khuzdul shouting and she froze. She said softly, "What are the chances that I'm going to returning to a dwarf or three without hair?"

He lightened a little about that, although his scowl was swiftly back in place. "Not a one. No one will make such a decision without your say so."

Bella shook her head, "No, this has been enough of a mess as it is. I knew that trying to court him was a bad idea. Well, time to face the music."

She slowly made her way into the clearing, silence falling as she walked in. She glanced around, wincing as she saw the distress on everyone's faces, that and anger. She gathered up all of her courage and stole a glance at Kili, only to find him looking completely devastated. She looked down at her feet, wishing she could start the day all over.

Thorin started to speak, "Miss Baggins..." But he was cut off as Dwalin growled something in Khuzdul. Thorin responded in kind and they growled back and forth for a few minutes before Dwalin gently took her shoulder and steered her out of the clearing. She murmured, "What's going on?"

He said quietly, "We're at the front today, lass, and none of the others will bother you, you have my word on it."

She nodded shyly, "Thank you."

True to his word, none of the rest of the company bothered her during the day, although she could hear all sorts of hushed conversations behind her back. She didn't care, letting the foreign words flow over her. Now that the first flush of anger and the hot rush of shame, she could feel the lead weight in her gut. She had been foolish to think that Kili would be willing to court her, although he probably would've been kinder if he'd known that it was her. She couldn't even count on the dragon eating her to get her over her broken heart and shame as they were still months away yet. The rough part was that she still loved the prince and now he knew about her foolish feelings. This was going to make things awkward, she just knew it.

However, when dinner time came and they halted for the night, the tension was still very much there. She slowly ate dinner, stealing glances at the rest of the company. Finally she murmured to Dwalin, "I would like to speak with your brother, if he wouldn't mind."

Dwalin just grunted and signed something to Balin, who stood and slowly made his way over to them. He sat slowly, looking sad as he looked at her, "Mistress Baggins, you need to speak with me?"

She forced herself to look at him, although she knew that her cheeks were burning and were most likely bright pink. "You've always been really good about explaining dwarven culture to me, Balin. I need your thoughts. Yes, I know that courtship attempt was an utter and total failure." She swallowed hard but forced herself to continue, "But I knew from the start that it had little chance of success anyway. I shouldn't have responded that way, it was really immature of me, especially as I believe that K-Kili had no idea what was going on. But I don't think that's why everyone's looking at me like their favorite relative has died. I know that this is awkward, and probably why Thorin didn't want a woman in the company, but something else is bound to happen that will cause us to forget this."

Balin's eyes widened as wide as saucers. "You mean that you don't know what you've done, lassie?"

She shook her head, "Not besides totally failing at courtship. So, can you explain to me what is going on?"

He sighed, carefully choosing his words, "Lassie, hair is very important to dwarves." He reached out and gestured at her head, "This causes us all shame, lassie. That you felt it necessary to cut off your beautiful, bonny, hair, all over a misunderstanding. We've deeply wounded you and none of us know how to fix it. We're heartbroken, lass."

She ran a hand slowly over her head. "This is all because I cut my hair? I don't understand. And it's just bright orange hair, nothing special about it."

Balin smiled at her, but it was such a sad smile that it made her want to weep, "Ah lassie, your hair was the most gorgeous thing that we'd ever seen. Hair the color of flame and such bonnie curls. There are three reasons that dwarves cut their hair. One, when there has been a horrible crime, the convicted dwarf will be shaved of both his hair and beard, branded as a traitor and then executed."

Her eyes widened but she quipped, "Well, I think that we can safely assume that it's not that one."

"Two, when a dwarf makes a vow or casts aside someone, they will cut their beard and offer it to the other person. For example, you know how Thorin's beard is short? That's because he vowed that he would not grow it until Erebor is reclaimed."

She nodded, certain bits of observations that she had made suddenly coming together in her head, "Ah, that makes sense. I had wondered about that. What's the third way?"

"When a dwarf has been deeply hurt or offended another, they may offer their beard as reparation, saying that that person holds their honor until such a time as the other believes that they have restored their honor."

She blinked owlishly at Balin, "I had no idea, I mean, I knew that hair was important to dwarves, but I didn't realize that there were so many meanings to it."

It was Balin's turn to stare at her, "You mean that you don't know what you've done, lass?"

She shook her head, "I was angry, and ashamed. As it is, I'm still mortified." She glanced across the camp at Kili only to find him staring at her and quickly looked away. She murmured, "Ever since the night that we met, I've been attracted to Kili, but I knew that it would never work out. I should've never allowed myself to be talked into trying to court him. When I cut my hair, there was no deeper meaning behind it for me, I was ashamed and mortified and now he knows about my pathetic feelings. I'm so embarrassed and now this is going to make everything so awkward, I am really sorry. I should've just sucked it up and dealt with it. And because of my immature reaction, I've managed to hurt all of you."

Balin chuckled slightly at that, "Well, it was a rather overwrought morning, I'll give you that. But don't be so quick to think that the prince doesn't return your interest, although now he is of the belief that you'll never want him. I'll explain the situation to the others. But still, your hair is such a crying shame."

Testing the ground with her foot, she said quietly, "Would it go back to normal if my hair was fine? And you know, hair doesn't matter much to hobbits, besides the hair on our feet." She held it out so that Balin could see her furry feet.

He sighed, "Aye lass, although it will take weeks for that to happen."

She couldn't help laughing, even as she winked at the shell shocked brothers. "We'll see. I speak with all of you in the morning."

She set up her bedroll and lay down, not looking at the rest of the company, she would face them in the morning, with whatever dignity she could muster. Tonight, she was going to allow herself to mourn her lost dreams and her foolishness.

* * *

She woke slowly, feeling heavy. Yawning, she pulled her hand back onto her bedroll. She had forgotten why she rarely used the earth's energy, it was such a slow, steady force that it left her feeling rather rooted and placid for days. Sitting up, she shoved a curl out of her face and spit another one out of her mouth. She must have been sleeping with her mouth open, lovely. 

Stretching, she looked around and saw that it was early yet, most of the company still asleep. The few that were awake were frozen where they were, shock clearly evident on their faces. She quickly rose and took over the cooking pot from Bombur lest the porridge burn. Dwalin was the first to break his stupor. He strode over to her side and demanded, "How in Mahal's name is this possible? Ye chopped yer hair off, we all saw it." He shoved his hand into his pocket and drew out several bright curls and looked at them, as if double checking that he hadn't lost his mind and hallucinated the entire thing.

She grinned up at him, "It's a hobbit thing. It's why I wasn't as fussed about what happened to my hair." She dropped her voice and glanced around, "I am sorry for making such a scene yesterday. It won't happen again, you have my word on it. I don't know what I was thinking, wanting to start a courtship with a dragon looming anyway. It was crazy and I'm sorry for it."

Ori interrupted at that moment, babbling wildly about her hair and wanting to know all the whys and wherefores. She frowned at him and turned her nose up, "I'm still not happy with you. If it weren't for your hair brained scheme, we wouldn't be in this mess. Never again am I taking your advice on courting matters."

He drooped and she felt bad, but not bad enough to recant her words. It was true, her heart was cracked all over, where it would've been aching but fine if Ori hadn't encouraged her. And she knew that he had just as much mischief in him as Nori, so if she didn't set the boundaries here clear and fast with him, he would soon manage to talk her into another hair brained scheme. Once was enough, thank you very much. He shuffled his feet and muttered an apology and she sighed. She said quietly, "Depending on how the morning goes, maybe this afternoon I'll tell you a bit about how hobbits view hair and such. Now, scat until breakfast is ready."

Bombur finally unfroze enough to take the cooking back over and shooed them away. Dwalin murmured, "That was very kind of you."

She sighed, "He's a good lad, but I meant what I said, no more courting advice from him. As it is, I don't know how I'll ever look Kili in the eye again. I've shamed myself by being so bold and embarrassed him. I'm sure he received a lot of grief from all of you, but it's not his fault. I mean, the heart wants what the heart wants. It's not even the prince and the peasant thing, it's dwarves and hobbits. I mean, why would a dwarf ever care for a hobbit, we're beardless odd little creatures any way and even other hobbits don't want me, I'm doomed to be a spinster forever. And it doesn't help that Kili's so amazing, he's gorgeous, but it's not just that, he's kind and funny, serious and smart, and he cares for the entire company. But no, I had to be greedy and try for something more. He obviously didn't even know what was going on and then I had to go and have my melt down. I'm sorry."

She looked up to find Dwalin grinning at her and she frowned at him, only to see him shift his gaze to behind her. She groaned and shifted enough so that she could see behind her and sure enough, there was Kili standing behind her, his hands clenched into fists. She turned back and hissed, "Dwalin!"

He grinned at her, "I'll just go ahead and let you two talk." He murmured quietly to Bella, "You said that you didn't want there to be awkwardness." Turning his attention to Kili, he growled, "If you even step a toe out of line, I will shave you myself, understand?"

Sighing, it was all she could do to keep from blushing madly, she reluctantly met Kili's gaze. His expression was pained but he also seemed oddly, hopeful, for some reason. He said quietly, "Would you stroll with me, Mistress Baggins?"

She sighed again but nodded. They walked until they were far enough away to be out of easy earshot, although the company could still see them. He blurted, "I didn't know that it was you. I thought that someone was."

She offered him a sad crooked smile, she'd figured as much, but her curiosity was piqued, "Someone was what?"

His hand clenched and unclenched briefly, "I thought that someone was mocking me. I'm not really what anyone would consider good looking by dwarven standards, at all. I thought that they mocked me. If I'd known that it was you, if I'd known what it was for, I would've worn those braids proudly."

She fiddled absently with a curl, offering him a sad smile, "I figured that you didn't know what was going on, but you don't have to lie to me. I regret cutting off my hair, I never meant to hurt all of you, but as you can see now, it's back and I'm fine, so I'd rather just move on and pretend that this never happened, if you will."

He shook his head, his expression turned mulish. "But I don't want to forget it, that you see me that way." His eyes turned sad, "Or at least saw me that way. I understand if you no longer feel that way, after my actions."

She rolled her eyes, "That would be a fickle affection indeed and not worthy of you. I'm sad but I can at least understand a little bit. But at least now I understand why you reacted as you did. I just should've never listened to Ori."

Kili tilted his head at that, "What do you mean?"

She blushed, "Ori noticed that I seemed to care deeply for you and introduced the idea of courtship, however, we couldn't find a feasible way to do hobbit or traditional dwarven courting on the road. According to him though, this was an older form of courtship, I had to braid your hair three nights undetected and then announce my intention on the third day. However, I have the feeling that this is quite the ancient tradition, so of course you wouldn't know. I knew I would muck this whole thing up, I should've never even tried to court you, no matter how I felt."

He was staring at her with something that looked a lot like awe and she flushed even deeper. His voice was deeper as he said, "What would you have said if I hadn't made a total ass of myself?"

Not understanding why he wanted to continue dredging up this painful subject, she sighed and said, "I would've proclaimed that I had watched you over the course of our journey and I had found you to be a dwarf both courageous and kind, intelligent yet good natured, not to mention handsome. That all of these had drawn me to you and caught both my interest and mind and stirred my heart. Would you be interested in courting me for a bit to see if we meshed well enough to forge a life together. All in more traditional words of course, but that was the jist of it."

He dropped to one knee in front of her, scooping up her hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it while she stared at him like he'd lost his mind. He stared up at her, "Ask anyone, I'm not much of a catch by dwarven standards, that's why I never dared to think that you would regard me as anything more than a friend. But please, I beg of you, give me a chance to earn back your good regard. Once I have redeemed myself in your eyes, then I will beg you for the chance at courtship, for you are fierce and kind and beautiful and so much more than I deserve, even if I do crave you as I crave air to breathe."

She tugged at his hand, trying to pull him to his feet, "Kili, you don't have to do this."

He shook his head, "I don't and I do. I understand that it was all a misunderstanding yesterday. But you offered me such a boon, a gift beyond compare, and I did not treasure it properly. I have to do this, lest the chance of happiness slip forever from my grip."

She couldn't help the giggle that slipped from her, he was such a dramatic dwarf, but she loved him anyway. Rolling her eyes, she tugged at his hand again, "Stand up, you silly dwarf, you don't have to earn my forgiveness. And yes, if you are truly sincere in this, not just feeling guilty, I would love to court you. Why else do you think I learned those braids. You all over complicate things."

He shot to his feet and scooped her up, letting out a whoop as he twirled her around. She giggled, shaking her head at his antics. He was silly but it looked like he just might be hers after all. As soon as he set her down, a large hand came down and scruffed him by the nape of the neck, dragging him back towards the camp. Dwalin grumbled, "She might've forgiven ye, lad, but she's a forgiving little thing. Luckily for her, Balin and I will watch out for her and yer gonna have to work mighty hard to win our permission to court her. And don't be looking for yer uncle or brother to be saving ye, yer the one that got into this mess and yer gonna have to dig yerself out of it."

He started to whine and struggle in Dwalin's grip, but still managed to wink cheekily at her before he was completely dragged away. Bella couldn't contain her laughter, she was just as crazy as all of them. Still, this trip had just become a lot more interesting and all because of hair.


	7. Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep (Alternate Version)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kili/Bella
> 
> First and last line are the same, everything in between is different :)

She saw the blow coming for the cheerful dark prince, the other half of her heart. His back was turned towards the orc, too busy battling other enemies to realize the danger that he was in. She screamed his name in warning but it was lost in the din of battle, the clash and roar of combat deafening. She glanced around but there was no one close enough to come to his aid, no one but herself. Not giving herself time to second guess herself, she sprinted forward and much like the time right after the goblin tunnels when Azog threatened Thorin, she tackled the orc and stabbed it in a frenzy until it finally lay still.

Scrambling to her feet, she suddenly realized that she had been screaming the entire time. Remembering that Kili had been fighting, she looked around frantically just in time to see him finish off his last opponent. In the odd flow and ebb of battle, they found themselves in a pocket of silence. Relieved that he was unharmed, she called softly, "Kili."

He whirled, his sword held high to face the threat. When he saw that it was her, his eyes widened and he breathed her name, lowering his sword and taking a step towards her. However, he'd barely taken a step when a rock launched by an orc at a different target ricocheted and struck him in the back of his head. She cried out in horror as he froze, swaying for a moment, before crumpling to the ground. She raced over to him, relieved to see that he was still at least semiconscious. Kneeling next to him, she called his name and gently probed his wound, trying to ascertain it's seriousness.

He called her name, his voice frantic, but when she tried to reassure him that she was there, he didn't seem to hear her. His gaze was unfocused and he seemed to be pleading with her to stay with him, to hold on, that she'd be all right. Grimly tearing off a strip of her already admittedly ragged jacket, she bound his head, trying to convince him that she was there and that she was fine. Finally, he gave an anguished cry, one of the most heartrending sounds that she had ever heard and collapsed, his eyes rolling back into his head and his body limp.

She checked frantically for a pulse and huffed a relieved sigh when she found it beating strongly. As long as he lived and breathed, there was a chance that he could pull through whatever tricks his mind was playing on him. The clash of steel on steel drew her back to reality as she remembered that they were in the middle of a battlefield. She looked around, but didn't see anyone that she knew or could trust, especially with the life of one of the heirs of Erebor. However, they couldn't stay where they were, they were too vulnerable. 

Casting about frantically, she finally found some cover some cover. It was a large warg corpse, so it wasn't ideal, but it was better than nothing. Muttering an apology, she grabbed Kili's shoulders and started dragging him towards the warg. It took several minutes before she managed to get him hidden in the shadow of the warg, having had to stop a few times to ward off a stray goblin that sought to try their luck with her, much to their detriment. Panting, she carefully arranged him the best that she could to protect his wounds, muttering under her breath about the heaviness of dwarves. Finally satisfied that he was a safe as circumstances allowed, she slipped on her ring and set herself to the task of guarding the unconscious prince.

* * *

The fighting seemed to go on for days, although it was only a few hours at most. She stayed huddled next to an unresponsive Kili, only darting away to keep stragglers away from his position. After a while, the battle moved away from where they were and she slumped tiredly against the warg, barely wrinkling her nose at the smell. She left the ring on, not wanting to give away her advantage. When she finally heard the roar of horns and only a slight clash here and there, she knew that they had won. Checking on Kili who was still unconscious, she wondered mournfully at what cost victory had come. It was a slim hope indeed that all of the company had made it through alive.

Fretting over the fact that he wasn't waking up, she struggled to think through her weariness, to decide whether or not to leave him to fetch help or wait for help to arrive. Knowing that she would struggle to find someone to help and that it would be impossible for her find the right place again, she reluctantly decided to stay put. Thankfully, she didn't have to wait long. Now that the fighting was over, armed figures were moving across the battlefield, searching for the wounded and dispatching any enemy wounded.

She watched carefully, debating whether or not to call attention to them. She almost decided against it when one of the pairs searching called out Kili's name and then her name. Squinting, she realized that it was Fili and Dori and had to choke back a sob of relief. Pulling off her ring and shoving it clumsily into her pocket, she jumped up and down frantically waving her arms, trying to catch their attention. They saw her and turned her way, jogging as swiftly as they could through the chaos. She closed the last few feet when they were close enough, throwing herself into Fili's arms.

Fili caught her in a bone crushing hug, exclaiming, "Bella, you're alive!" He abruptly released her and held her out at arm's length, scanning her frantically for injuries, "Are you hurt?"

She shook her head, ignoring the tears trickling down her face. Grabbing his hand, she towed him over to where Kili was hidden, saying hoarsely, "You have to help him, he was hit in the head with a rock and he won't wake up. Please, help him."

Fili knelt beside his brother, quickly checking him over. Finding that the head wound was the worst of it, he let out a relieved sigh and looked up at Bella where she was nervously wringing her hands, "We need to get him to Oin, but he should be all right. You know how hardheaded dwarves are."

She covered her mouth to contain her cry of relief, sinking to the ground as her legs refused to hold her anymore. Swallowing hard to regain her composure, she lowered her hand and whispered hoarsely, "What about the rest of the company?"

Dori offered her a tired smile, "A few nicks and bruises, a couple of broken bones, nothing that we won't recover from, Mistress Baggins."

Bella slumped even further down, relief swamping over her. Fili muttered to Dori, "You carry Kee, I'll bring Bella. She doesn't look like she has the energy to take another step."

Bella laughed hoarsely and shook her head no, even as more tears slipped down her cheeks. She realized distantly that she was a bit overwrought, but let it go as unimportant at the moment, "I can't, Thorin banished me. I'll just, stay here." She looked around bleakly but was unable to muster up the energy to care one way or another.

Fili stood and scooped her gently into his arms, soothing her, "Thorin rescinded it as soon as he came to his senses. It never should have happened and he will apologize for his actions, I promise you. Not only that, but I am not going to tell Kili when he wakes up that I left his One unprotected and alone on a battlefield. No, namith, your place is with us, where you belong."

Praying that he wasn't mistaken, Bella closed her eyes and allowed his movements lull her into a light doze. She needed to rest for just a moment and then she could make sense of the situation. It was the sound of excited shouting that drew her from her doze. Forcing her eyes open, she sat up a little bit in Fili's arms and looked around. The company was milling around outside of a tent and as they cried their greetings, their calls gained the attention of Thorin and Dwalin, causing them to duck out of the tent. Relief filled their faces as they surveyed the group. 

Bella held her breath as Thorin surveyed them, expecting his relief to turn to hatred when he realized that Fili was carrying her, but the relief in his face only deepened. He motioned for them to enter the tent, holding the flap open and calling for Oin, although the healer was already making his way towards the tent. Dori carefully placed Kili on the cot while Fili lowered her onto a camp stool, steadying her when she swayed. Oin moved towards her, but she waved him over towards Kili and he went reluctantly.

Thorin said quietly, "You found them! What's wrong with Kili?"

Fili offered Thorin a tired nod, "Bella said that he was knocked unconscious by a stray rock to the back of the head. The rest of his injuries seem to be superficial."

Thorin turned his attention to Bella, his expression apologetic, "And what about you, Mistress Baggins? I pray that you did not come to serious harm because of my foolish, ignorant actions. I beg your forgiveness and pray that you allow me to work on making things right between us."

She said cautiously, her words hesitant, "The madness, it's gone?"

He nodded, "Utterly and completely. You need never fear it again, you have my word."

"So I can stay with Kili, at least until he wakes up?"

Shame filled Thorin's face at her pleading gaze and hesitant tone, "You are his One, you never have to leave his side. I will see that another cot it brought and that everything is arranged so that you won't have to leave his side at all."

Relief flowed through her and she simply didn't have the energy to stay mad at her family, "You were sick, Thorin, of course I forgive you. Now we just need to work to make sure that Erebor becomes a home once more."

Oin came bustling over, "The lad will be fine, just needs some rest is all. Let him wake in his own time. Now, let me look you over, lass. What were you thinking, being in the middle of the battle?"

Having missed Oin's acerbic yet gentle care, she smiled tiredly, "There wasn't anywhere safe to go. But I made it through well enough, we all did. So it's going to be all right."

Oin checked her over carefully and stitched up a small slice on her forearm before giving her a tin of salve and instructing her to change her bandages every day. Bella had barely heard him, fatigue washing heavily over her. Another cot had been located and set up right next to Kili's. Stretching out on it, she reached over and took Kili's hand in hers before allowing darkness to wash over her.

* * *

She woke the next day to find that Kili still hadn't woken, although he had stirred and mumbled several times. Once she was awake, the various members of the company had come by and begged her forgiveness for their actions while in Erebor. Relieved to see them all acting normally again, she forgave them easily enough, the battle having been enough to teach her to cherish every single moment no matter what.

It was evening edging towards night when Fili came and sat with her. He had brought her supper and sank down onto a stool, weariness plain on his face. She asked concernedly, "Are you all right, Fee?"

He mustered up a tired smile for her, "I'm ok, namith. There's just a lot of work to be done. How about you? And Kili? Any change?"

She sighed, forcing herself to eat, even though she had no appetite, "I'm all right, just worried about Kili. He's stirred a few times, mumbled as well. Several names, a couple I recognized and most that I didn't. He called for your amad once, tears trickling down his face as he asked how he's going to survive the loss. I don't know what he's dreaming, but it seems to be sad. I've tried talking to him, reassuring him that I'm here, but he doesn't seem to hear me."

Fili reached over and squeezed her hand reassuringly, "He's going to be all right. Just keep talking to him, reassuring him. He'll wake up soon and you'll be right here."

Taking a deep breath, she asked him the question that had been weighing on her mind, "Does he hate me, for the whole Arkenstone debacle?"

She wouldn't look at Fili, so he reached over and lifted up her chin until her eyes met his. "Kili was devastated. The only reason that he didn't go with you right that moment was that he wanted to get your things for you. But then uncle was acting so erratically that we realized that we might have to take control of the company. It killed him, but he believed that you were safe with Tharkun and that you would be safe until he could make his way back to you. But it broke his heart."

Bella stood and hugged Fili tightly, "It's all right, nadad. I can't imagine how hard that must have been, I know how both of you adore Thorin. It's going to be all right now. Erebor has been reclaimed, Azog has been defeated, Thorin has recovered and Kili will wake up soon. It will be all right."

At her words, Fili finally broke down and wept, allowing all of the pain and fear that he had bottled up inside, out. She didn't say a word or try to soothe him, just supported him and steadied him, letting him know that he was not alone, that everything was going to be all right. Eventually his tears eased and he pulled back, a shamed expression on his face.

Bella just smiled at him, gently wiping away his tears before pulling his forehead down enough so that she could press hers against his. "It is no shame to weep, nadad. It just shows that your heart still feels, still loves. But everything is going to be all right."

His expression eased and he smiled back at her, certainty back in his blue eyes, "Yes, it is. Kili is going to wake up soon and everything is going to be ok."

Giving her one last hug, he pulled away and left, citing that he still had things to tend to.

Carefully pulling the blanket back up where Kili's restlessness had dislodged it, she tucked him in gently, brushing a kiss over his forehead. She murmured softly, "I need you to wake up, love. We need you to wake up. We're waiting for you."

* * *

It was the morning of the second day and Bella was alone in the tent, the others having all been called away for various duties. She took advantage of the privacy to try and tidy up Kili's hair from the battle. At one point, she ran into a snarl and the gentle tug caused him to smile. He mumbled and she barely made out the words, "I know, love, I know. But couldn't you give me just a couple of minutes to sulk and miss you."

She murmured to him, "I'm right here, Kili, there's no need to miss me."

She tugged a little harder on his hair and this caused him to laugh, the deep belly laugh that she loved so much as he mumbled, "Alright, alright, I get it. No sulking."

She couldn't stop her own giggles, his laughter had always ignited her own, but she leaned down and brushed a kiss on his temple, "I'm right here, love. All you have to do it wake up."

However, he settled back into slumber, quieting once more. He continued talking at random times throughout the day, calling out random names and saying odd snippets. She heard her name several times, but it was always wistful and longing, never happy. She stayed up late tending him, but still he slumbered on.

When she woke and found that he still hadn't woken, she had begged Fili to keep watch over him while she took a quick stroll for some fresh air. It was breaking her heart, whatever he was dreaming was obviously not happy, although he seemed to be growing more resigned to it as the time passed.

Looking at her understandingly, Fili told her to take as long as she needed and that he would fetch her if anything changed. Giving him a tense smile, Bella slipped guiltily out of the tent. She just needed a few moments of fresh air and she'd be right back.

* * *

Kili woke up slowly in the healing tents and wondered absently why he was hurting so badly, a slight headache tapping at his temples. Cracking his eyes open slightly, he carefully examined his surroundings. He was wearing the armor that he'd worn for the Battle of the Five Armies. Had it only been a dream of the long years? Suddenly the events of the battle came back to him and his heart squeezed in agony. He must have made some sort of sound because Fili was suddenly there. He checked him over carefully to make sure that he wasn't bleeding before rushing from the tent, calling out, "He's awake."

He heard the sound of running footsteps and tried to pull himself together, not wanting the others to see how totally devastated and weak he was. He had just managed to draw a deep breath when the tent flap was thrown open and the breath that he had just drawn whooshed out of him. For there, standing in the entry way, was Bella Baggins, alive with a bandage wrapped around her arm. She gave a cry of relief at seeing him awake and rushed over to the side of his cot.

Pushing himself up, he grabbed her and pulled her into a bone crushing hug, trying to frantically reassure himself that she was alive and he wasn't just dreaming. He heard her splutter, "Kili, what in the world?"

He pulled back slightly, asking her, "How is this possible? You took that blow for me. I saw you fall, you weren't breathing. You were dead! How are you standing here?"

She laid her forehead gently on his, running her fingers soothingly through his hair, careful to avoid the bump on the back of his head. Once he had calmed slightly, she pulled her blouse down just far enough that he could see the glimmer of mail before straightening it. "I was in the battle and took a few hits, but Thorin gave me some mithril armor and it saved my life. You were the one that was hurt, you took a rock to the head and have been out cold. How are you feeling?"

Making a mental note to thank Thorin for gifting her with the mail, he framed her face with his hands. Ignoring the pain shooting through him, he pulled her down into a gentle kiss, trying to convey all of his love and devotion to her. She kissed him back, weaving her fingers into his hair. The soft scrape of her fingers along his scalp helped anchor the fact that this was real and that he wasn't dreaming.

Finally she pulled back, frowning at him when he tried to kiss her again. "Kili, what's gotten into you? Also, you should be resting, not trying to kiss me. You were injured and have been asleep for three days."

He pulled her back next to his heart, his forehead resting gently against hers. "Three days?"

She nodded, not taking her eyes from him.

He inhaled, wincing slightly at the familiar sensation of bruised ribs. "While I might have been unconscious for three days. But during that time, I lived one hundred and seventy seven long, long years without you. You took a blow meant for me and then you made me promise to live. That was the hardest promise that I had ever made. I did it, because you asked me. But every day was an agony without you. Don't get me wrong, I did as you asked, I lived and did my best to see and do and enjoy life so I could share it with you when we reunited. But until the day I passed, I could never really draw a deep breath, my heart empty and aching. You have to stay with me, Bella. Don't leave me. We'll go wherever you want, the Shire, I don't care. But just don't leave me."

Her eyes softening and glimmering with unshed tears, she reached out and gently brushed away the tears that were slipping down his cheeks. "Kili, it was only a dream, a sad dream. I'm here and I'll never leave you." She leaned forward and kissed him gently, pouring love and reassurance into it. She pulled back, but only to pepper tiny kisses all over his face, trying to reassure him and convince him that he wasn't dreaming and that she truly was there and alive. 

He drank her in hungrily, like a man who had been dying of thirst and was suddenly presented with a glass of water. Like a man who had lost his heart, only to find it returned to him unexpectedly. Reaching out, he gingerly threaded his hand through her curls, marveling at their softness. Pulling her even closer, he exulted at her warmth, at the gentle rise and fall of each breath that she took. Pressing his forehead tenderly against hers, he studied her eyes, "You're really alive? This isn't some sort of dream?"

She smiled up at him, her expression soft and filled with happiness, "This isn't a dream, dear heart. This is real." Her ears twitched and laughter entered her eyes, "I'm sure that if you don't believe me, the very noisy company that will be here any moment will reassure you."

He murmured, "Let them wait."

Bending down, he kissed her and knew that he was finally home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just couldn't leave it that sad. Also, can you spot the three instances where this story and the other version merged in his dreams?
> 
> Let me know what you think.
> 
> Praying for strength, peace, and healing. We are strong together!


	8. Hurt and Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bella/Nori
> 
> Warning: Major character injury

Sitting crumpled up against the wall of the cave, listening to the rain pour down outside the cave although thankfully thunder was retreating in the distance and taking the battle with it, she tried to breathe without wheezing. She stifled a sneeze and inwardly cursed when pain ricocheted through her torso. It would be a Yavanna blessed miracle if she managed to survive this quest. Yeah, she knew that life expectancy wasn't all that great, there was a fire breathing dragon at the end of all of this. But still, she wasn't supposed to nearly die repeatedly on the way there. This had to be the dwarves fault, she'd never had such all around awful luck in all of her life.

She supposed that she should really talk to Oin, but with the way his majestic broodiness was staring at her, it wasn't worth the dressing down that she would get for being a weak hobbit yet again. Of course she was bloody weaker, she wasn't carved from stone! And she was a lass to boot. She really was doing her best, you'd think someone would at least acknowledge it, but no, she was just the weak screw up of the company. She'd seek out the healer for help in the morning.

Unable to breathe satisfactorily and unable to sleep, she stood and snagged her pack, moving over towards the entrance of the cave to see if she could find her bruise ointment for her battered torso.

After a very puzzling conversation with Bofur where he all but accused her of running away because of some hurtful words, the world opened up beneath her and she was falling, falling, falling. 

After being battered every which way on the trip down the chute, not to mention landed on by several dwarves during the trip, she ended landing hard on solid rock. However, she didn't even have a chance to assess the damage, let alone try to catch her breath, because goblins were all over them, kicking and punching them, although most of them missed her where she was crumpled up off to one side.

Realizing that they were taking the dwarves off somewhere, she scrambled dizzily to her feet and chased after them, only to be jumped by a goblin and knocked off the ledge. She only had a moment to think, yes, this ill luck was definitely not just hers, before she hit a stone outcropping and knew no more.

* * *

She came too on a large pile of crushed mushrooms, wheezing noisily as her battered body tried to breathe. Her head whirled while she tried to work out what in the world happened to her. Pushing through the pain, she abruptly remembered the goblins and adrenaline surged through her, dulling the edge of her pain enough for her to move her hand to smother her breathing. When she finally managed to draw a quiet breath, she heard a wet raspy inhale nearby. Drawing up all of her willpower, she moved the mushrooms aside just enough so she could see the broken goblin lying just a few feet away.

She also had a front row seat when twisted creep killed the injured goblin and dragged it off. Self preservation kicked in and she managed to make her battered body move, the pain receding as moving became necessary to stay alive. When she unfortunately ran into the creature, she did her best not to show any weakness, weakness got one killed quickly. After the most scarring game of riddles that she'd ever had the misfortune to play, he finally agreed to show her the way out, then immediately tried to renege on their deal and back stab her. The ring was an interesting quirk of fate, one that she wasn't anticipating. And it was all she could do not to wheeze and gasp as she ran after him, every step incredible agony.

The dwarves running by informed her that she couldn't rest and recoup, unfortunately. They'd probably managed to piss of the entire mountain, for no other reason than the fact that they were dwarves. Well, maybe because they were also males and thus big on words and posturing, but she'd give them the benefit of the doubt. Chasing after them, the door nearly shut on her, ripping off her buttons, but also adding interesting new scrapes and bruises to her collection.

* * *

Running from wargs, climbing trees, facing down orcs, and getting picked up and squeezed tightly by enormous eagle talons went about as well as could be expected from one as battered as she was. However, she was able to push the pain aside, thinking that Thorin was dead from that damnable warg treating him like a chew toy. Her relief when he asked for her was overwhelming, when he hugged her, not so much. It was all she could do to gasp out her thanks and gently extract herself from his embrace. Thankfully, he was distracted rather easily by Erebor, so she managed to escape it without comment. 

She was looking for Oin, she wasn't going to last much longer, but the dwarf had lost his hearing horn and all of the others were too enthralled by the mountain to bother interpreting for her. She told herself that she could hang on just a little while longer, and then she would get the help that she needed. Trying to descend the Carrock was a special agony and she couldn't help the tiny whine that escaped her when Thorin demanded that Oin patch them up as they walked. None of the dwarves noticed, all battered and ragged as they were. The irony was that she was the best looking of the lot, all the others had visible bruising and cuts. All of hers were covered by clothing and she wasn't bleeding, externally at least.

They kept moving, trying to extend the distance between them and the orcs as much as possible. Each step she took was agony, each breath like someone was sticking daggers into her chest. Her field of vision narrowed, black eating at the edges as she fell further and further back in the line. Finally, she was at the back of the line and falling further behind with every step. She tried to call weakly for help, but none of the others heard her, her voice too quiet for them to make out. She felt something trickle past her lips and swiped tiredly at it, her hand coming back stained crimson.

She knew that she should be concerned about that, but everything felt very far away and distant from herself. She staggered a few more steps, hearing the voices of the company fade away and a tear trickled from the corner of her eye. This was not how she expected to die. She felt herself falling forward, but darkness fell over her and she knew no more. She never heard the grumbling as the dwarves came back looking for her, or their screaming and shouting when they found her unconscious on the ground, blood trickling from her mouth.

* * *

She was puzzled when she woke and it was obviously late afternoon from the feel of the sunlight on her face. Why had they stopped when there was still daylight left? She tried to draw a deep breath, wincing when her ribs reminded her why that wasn't a good idea. She could hear the dwarves talking quietly nearby, but they were talking in whatever their language was, so she had no idea what they were actually talking about.

She struggled to open her eyes, her body aching but the pain was at least bearable for the moment. Finally she managed it to find herself tucked into her bedroll under the protection of a large tree. She tried to remember how they had gotten here, but all she could remember was the pain and then she suddenly remembered staggering along and blood dripping from her mouth. She carefully brought a shaky hand up to her lips and swiped at it, bringing it up to where she could see and she let out a relieved sigh when her fingers came back clean.

Knowing that despite everything, Thorin would not be happy about this delay in the schedule, she shakily braced her arms and went to push herself up to a sitting position. Before she could actually sit up though, Dwalin growled something and was somehow right by her side, his large hand on her shoulder keeping her from sitting up. He growled, quietly for him, at her, "Don't try to sit up, fool lass. Are you just trying to kill yourself?"

Irritation swept over her, along with pain, and she fairly growled back, "I was trying to sit up. Last time I checked, most people do that every day and it doesn't kill them."

Gandalf appeared at her other side, looking weary but pleased to see her awake, "Ah, but you're not most people, Bella. Sitting up right now might actually kill you. In fact, it's lucky that you're not dead right now. I've done my best to stabilize you, but I'm almost completely tapped out from helping Thorin and you're in even worse shape."

She rolled her eyes but obediently laid back, the pressure on her chest easing slightly. "That doesn't surprise me. But I can more than likely keep moving. We're on a deadline, we can't afford for me to laze around just because I'm rather banged up."

Dwalin rolled his eyes and signed for Oin to come over and check on her. "You're not just banged up, lass. You should be in the halls, or whatever the hobbit equivalent is."

She answered absently, "The gardens. But surely it's not that bad. I admit, I'm somewhat battered and my ribs probably need wrapped, but other than moving a bit slower, I'm probably ok?" She looked at the others pleadingly. Both Gandalf and Dwalin shook their heads no and she frowned. Oin knelt next to her, relief in his eyes. That more than anything drove home how injured she must have truly been.

He asked quietly, "What did you do to yourself, lassie? It's a miracle that you're even alive, let alone awake and coherent." He glanced sharply at Gandalf and Dwalin, "At least, I'm assuming that she's coherent?"

They both nodded and Dwalin grumbled, "She tried to sit up, but other than that, she seems to have her sense."

Thorin made his way over and Bella almost groaned when she saw the scowl on his face, only the pain that her ribs would have felt stopped her. He asked quietly, "When were you injured, Mistress Baggins?"

She met his eyes and asked just as quietly, "Which time?"

The skin around his eyes tightened slightly, but his voice was calm, "Start from the beginning and go from there."

She hissed as Oin hit a particularly painful bruise, but he ignored her. "Let's see, that would be during the thunder battle. I was clipped slightly when I tried to jump. I think that that bruised my ribs, I was struggling to breathe that night."

"What next?"

"I was following you all in the mountain when a goblin jumped me and we tumbled into the mountain. That knocked me unconscious and it hurt, a lot when I woke. However, there was something nasty down there, eating goblins it was, plus none of you were about, so I had to find a way out to save myself. That didn't help anything I'm sure."

Nori had been listening, she could just see him in her periphery, and he paled deeply at that, making her wonder why in the world he would feel guilty over that. She continued, "I saw all of you run by, so I ran after you and then we were running from the wargs. I'm sure the running and the climbing didn't help. The eagle that rescued me also held me quite firmly in it's talons. I would've spoken up after we were safe at the Carrock, but Thorin needed help more. But what happened, why are we stopped?"

Dwalin said harshly, "We stopped because you nearly died. You fell behind and when we came back to look for you, we found you unconscious in a pool of blood. We thought you dead, lass, and you very nearly were."

She went to scoff, stopping only when she saw the genuine panic in his eyes, "That close, huh?"

Gandalf said shortly, "Very nearly so. Almost all of your ribs are broken, one of them may have punctured a lung, and who knows what else is going on. I really wish you would've let me know, I would've done my best to spread my healing between the both of you."

She sighed and called, "Nori, bring me my pack." Turning her attention back to Gandalf, she said, "There wasn't time. I should've spoken up, but really, was there anything that could've been done anyway?"

Gandalf looked torn while Oin barked, "There is always something we could do, we could've wrapped your ribs, stabilized you somehow." 

"And all died horribly at the hands of our enemies. What is done is done."

Nori brought over her pack and knelt next to her, his eyes shadowed. She was rather relieved to see that although somewhat battered, it appeared to be mainly intact. She smiled at him, "Outside pocket, the one marked with red twine."

He obediently pulled open the pocket and pulled out a carefully wrapped package. He looked at her, raising a frayed eyebrow curiously. "Give it to Gandalf."

Gandalf took it and unwrapped it to find a small square, almost the consistency of beeswax, although it smelled quite pleasantly of honey, cinnamon, and ginger. Gandalf looked at her in surprise, "Is this what I think it is?"

She smiled, read grimaced, at him, "Aye, mother taught me the recipe. I thought that I'd better pack a bit, just in case. Never know what can happen during a quest."

Gandalf smiled and let out a relieved sigh, "You truly are a marvel, Bella Baggins."

She smirked tiredly at him, "I'm a fool of a Took, is what I am, Gandalf. But fate works as it will, and I guess that it's a good thing I brought it. I'm going to just sleep now, I'm tired."

Oin puzzled it over before nodding, "Aye, that should be ok, most likely the blood loss."

Gandalf was already chewing on the square. "Sleep, and when you wake, everything will be better."

Bella slipped off to sleep right as she heard the dwarves start asking curious questions. She'd leave that to the wizard and he could answer or not as he pleased. She was not going to worry about it.

X

It was late at night, probably closer to morning, when she woke again. The first thing she registered was that it didn't hurt to breathe. That was something that she was never going to take for granted again. She couldn't believe how easily a body could revolt and turn on one. Breathing was a necessary thing for living after all. The chorus of snores around her told her that the company was safe, at least for a moment. Smiling slightly, she yawned and opened her eyes. Sure enough, it was dark and there was a fire flickering in the certain of camp. It looked like Gloin was on watch, the rest of them passed out in family groups. She even saw Gandalf snoring away and felt a twinge of guilt. It was her fault that he was so exhausted. Still, she appreciated being healed and didn't want to experience such pain again any time soon. 

She grimaced, she still had to face the dragon. However, if Bofur was correct, at least her death would be quick. 

A voice spoke quietly, startling her, "You in pain, lass?"

Her eyes searched frantically for the speaker and Nori melted out from the shadow of the tree next to her. She scolded quietly, "Nori, you scared me."

He looked sheepish, "Sorry, didn't mean to. But are you in pain?"

She carefully took inventory of herself before shaking her head, "No, Gandalf took care of the worst things. A couple of small twinges here and there, but nothing unbearable. Help me sit up." He carefully did so, making sure that his hands were in only correct polite positions. That surprised her a little, given how often he liked to slip in suggestive comments when it was just the two of them. Maybe he just liked seeing her blush. To distract herself, she asked, making sure to keep her voice low, "Why aren't you with your family, getting some rest?"

His voice was solemn, his expression sad, "I volunteered to keep an eye on you, lass. In case you woke up and needed anything during the night."

Not liking the expression on the gentleman rogue's face, she reached out and brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes before gently cupping his cheek, "Why are you so sad? What has put such shadows in your eyes? Your brothers are ok, are they not?"

To her surprise, he didn't brush her hand off, but covered it with his own and leaned into it, his eyes closing briefly before he looked at her, "I didn't realize how fragile hobbits were compared to dwarves. You have a spirit larger than life."

She snorted, mirth dancing in her eyes, "Everyone is more delicate than dwarves, you're basically crafted from stone." She smirked wickedly at him, "I suppose that's why you're such block heads."

He started to laugh and hastily swallowed it when the nearest dwarf stirred restlessly. "Oh, you are a cheeky one. I thought that all of you hobbits were prim and proper."

She shrugged, "Most of them are, almost all of them are, as a matter of fact. However, I am the odd one out, always have been. Now, while it's sweet that you think I'm spirited, why would that make you sad?"

He searched her face, unsure if she was mocking him or not. Finally he breathed, "You almost died, Bella. Could've died if we'd even found you just a minute or two later."

She grimaced sympathetically, "Yeah, that was a rather rough series of events. Glad that it's all over, truthfully. But it's no one's fault. And I didn't die, did I?"

He released her hand and dropped both of his hands to her shoulders, clinging to them as he seemed to struggle with whether or not to shake her or pull her into his arms. His attitude baffled her. He hissed, "You nearly died! How are you just so calm about this? Why didn't you even bother to tell us that you were hurt?"

She sighed, "You seem to believe that I have a death wish. I don't. Circumstances conspired very unluckily for me, is all. There really wasn't a moment to pull anyone aside and say 'hey, I'm not feeling so great'. No, it was keep moving or die. And then Thorin nearly died, and we all had to keep moving." She frowned, "I don't even wanna know how much time we lost by having to deal with me collapsing."

He let out a strangled noise and pulled her into his arms, wrapping them so tightly around her that she couldn't move. He mumbled in her hair, "Don't you get it! None of this is worthwhile if you die. You never should have been on this blasted quest, you've been in danger so many times. I haven't even protected you as a proper mate should."

This got her attention in a way that nothing else had and she pushed back until she could see his face, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Proper what? Surely you did not just say what I thought that you said."

He flushed but his face settled into a stubborn expression. "Aye, I did. Mate, your mate. You're my One, Bella. I know that you and Ori talked about soul bonds. How dwarves had Ones and hobbits have Mates. Well, you're it for me, Bella. I knew it the moment that I tumbled in your front door. But how in the world could such a fine lass ever fancy someone like me? I thought, maybe after Erebor, I might have something worthwhile to offer you, something better than a lowlife thief. But it's not worth it if you die before we even reached that cursed mountain and benighted dragon."

Not wanting to listen to him babble anymore, she threaded her fingers in his hair and pulled hard, bringing his mouth down to hers, claiming his lips in a kiss. He froze, but she didn't let go. With a groan, he gathered her closer and kissed her back passionately. They kissed for several moments before Gloin cleared his throat rather loudly, his expression amused. Bella froze before pulling reluctantly back. Her face instantly turned bright crimson. She muttered, "There doesn't happen to be a stream nearby, does there? I need to go drown myself."

Nori smirked at her, pulling her gently back and resting his forehead on hers. "No need to do something as foolish as that, lass. It's not improper to kiss, although I am honored that you chose to share such a gift with myself."

She rolled her eyes, a tiny smirk creeping onto her lips, "Well, you were spouting nonsense, so I had to shut you up some way."

He frowned at her, "I was not spouting nonsense. We are soul mates."

Her smirk widened, "I wasn't saying that, silly. No, I was referring to the fact that you think that you're not good enough for me. I've been pining for you since the moment that I first laid eyes on you. Of course, that makes sense if you really are my heart mate. Why didn't you ever say anything? Or do dwarves not feel the pull of their Ones as strong as hobbits do for their mates?"

He shook his head, "No, I've wanted you since the very moment I ever saw you. But it's the dams that offer courtship, is it different for hobbits?"

She nodded, "The lads ask the lasses, not the other way around, although for mates, all rules are off. But I didn't know if dwarves had mates like hobbits did or if they did something else entirely. Not to mention, I wasn't sure if you would be angry with the fact that a hobbit was your One, instead of another dwarf."

He shook his head. "Who's talking foolishly now? You are the bravest, brightest, bonniest lass I know. Why in the world would I be upset that I've been so blessed?"

She grumbled, "You keep being so sweet and I'm going to turn into a total tomato."

He teased, "The rubies in your cheeks are very fetching, lass, I must admit. Why do you think I tease you so much?"

"Because you're a terrible tease and flirt and I'm the only female around?"

He sighed, shaking his head in disbelief. "You honestly think that I care about gender?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

She shook her head disbelievingly, "Of course that was what you picked up on, not the fact that you're a flirt or a tease."

He leaned forward until he was in her space, his voice dropping, becoming low and intimate. "Only with you, only and ever with you. So please don't die, please, please don't die, because you'd break my very heart, you would."

She gently cupped his cheek, "Since you don't seem inclined to run away from me, as all the other males in my vicinity have, I suppose I'd better keep you around."

He smirked at her, but it was tender instead of haughty, "Fools, the lot of them. Or they might have been very wise and known that they were not anywhere near deserving of such a treasure as you are, my pearl."

She leaned up and kissed him gently before pulling back and yawning. She mumbled, "I hate being hurt or sick, I'm always so tired afterwards."

He eased her back down into her sleeping roll. "We still have a few hours of night left, rest. We can sort out the rest later."

She murmured sleepily, "Is there going to be a rest?"

He nodded firmly, "You can bet your curls on it that there's going to be a rest. No matter what, lass, there's going to be a rest, especially knowing what I know now. So you just rest, get strong. Then we'll go from there."

She mumbled, "Mkay, love you, Nori."

He froze but she was completely asleep. Leaning down and brushing a kiss over her brow, he mumbled, "Love you too, lass."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always thought it rather unrealistic how Bilbo just waltzes through this whole section totally uninjured. He's a hobbit, not a dwarf, and much more fragile in a way, although he's as sturdier in others.
> 
> Anyway, that's just my two cents worth.


	9. Set it free, if it comes back...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bofur/Bella
> 
> Inspired by this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOV6qa6xbuA
> 
> I own nothing!

She padded carefully through the halls, not wanting to draw any attention to herself. She had to save her family, even if they couldn't save themselves. Thorin had managed to back them into a corner and refused to listen to reason. She wished that there was another way, any other way, but there wasn't. So here she was, sneaking away like a thief in the night in truth. However, instead of gold and riches, she was trying to steal the lives of her dwarves from their inevitable death if they continued down the road they were going.

Reaching the battlements, she carefully glanced around to make sure that it was empty before stealing over to the iron ring that she had noticed earlier, inwardly calling herself every kind of fool. What was she thinking? But it was too late to back out now. She knew that she didn't have long until whatever dwarf was on watch returned, so she started frantically tying the rope on, praying that she remembered the knots right and that it would support her weight.

When Bofur spoke quietly, she nearly jumped out of her skin, whirling to face him, "You should be inside. Out of the wind." He just glanced over at her while he warmed his hands over the fire.

Not wanting him to get into trouble or try to stop her, she swallowed hard and stammered, "I needed some air, the place still reeks of dragon." Her voice was breathier and higher that she liked, but there was nothing that she could do about it.

He studied her for several moments, his expression hard, before it morphed into something softer and sadder, filled with resignation. He moved away from the little watch fire and over to the battlements, taking several steps closer to her as well. He murmured, causing her to move closer so she could hear. "The elves have been moving their archers into position." He paused before continuing, "The battle will be over by tomorrow's eve, though I doubt we will live to see it."

There was no anger, no fear on his face, only resignation, a sense of inevitability. Her heart wrenched at the thought of losing any of them, of losing him. She wanted to comfort him, but when she spoke, all that came out was a weak, "These are," her breath hitched but she continued. "Dark days."

His brief smile had a bitter twist to it as he muttered, "Dark days indeed." He glanced away, seeming to be thinking something over before coming to a decision. Turning back to face her, his expression was kind, no judgement or hurt in his dark eyes. Understanding laced his tone as he spoke, moving a few steps towards her, "No one could blame a soul for wishing themselves elsewhere."

She stared at him, wide eyed and unable to speak. He stopped and looked up at the sky, his tone light when he spoke, "Must be near midnight. Bombur's got the next watch." He offered her an intent glance, filled with unspoken things. "It will take a bit to wake him." With one last glance her way, he moved towards the stairs.

She felt something snap inside her. Ever since the beginning of the quest, Bofur had been looking out for her, watching over her, lifting her spirits and making sure that she wasn't left behind or injured or one of a million other things. Moving after him, she called softly, "Bofur!"

He turned back, his expression inquisitive. She leaned forward but lost her nerve as the last moment and brushed a kiss over his cheek instead. Pulling back, she said breathlessly, her words firm and determined, "I will see you in the morning."

His eyes were wide but then he just nodded and murmured, "Goodbye, Bella." Then he turned and walked away.

She huffed a sigh, wanting to scream at the stubbornness of dwarves. But she remembered that she had a task to complete first and that she was short on time. Muttering to herself, she quickly scaled down the wall. Hopefully, there would be enough time tomorrow to straighten everything out. She hadn't come all this way and made it through all of the trials just to lose it all now.

* * *

Well, she did keep her word and see him in the morning. However, circumstances prevented them from having the chat that she wanted to have, circumstances namely being Thorin trying to kill her. She owed him a hefty kick in the shins when he came back to his senses for that encounter that would surely star in her nightmares in the future as well.

Her only consolation was that Bofur apparently didn't hate her, as he helped her up after Thorin dropped her, urging her towards the rope with desperation shining clearly on his face. Not wanting him to get in trouble for associating and her throat hurting too badly to speak, she just reached out and brushed his face tenderly with her hand before descending rapidly. He stared after her, his face a mixture of emotions that she couldn't decipher fully.

Then Gandalf was there and whisked her away, tucking her out of sight in his cloak. She clung to the wizard gratefully, tremors shaking her as she suddenly realized how close she had come to dying. Peeking back one last time at the dwarves before they were out of sight, she prayed for all of their safety, but especially the safety of a beloved miner with a funny hat that she still had to tell exactly how much she cared for him.

* * *

Battle was chaos and it was all that she could do just to stay alive. In a way, it was a bit of a boon, as it didn't give her time to think about how much she was missing her family. On the other hand, there was the whole possibly dying part of it. Still, there was no where safe to hide and it wasn't in her nature to hide anyway, as she'd found out much to her surprise on the quest.

Even more so, she found herself getting increasingly irritable as she fought her way through the battlefield, searching for her dwarves. She had heard the horn call announcing them joining the battle, so she knew that they were out here somewhere, but cursed if she could find them. Being shorter than the majority of the fighters didn't help either. Scanning, she looked for a vantage point where she could see better, possibly see someone from the company.

The area around the tower appeared to be deserted, so imagine her surprise to find it full of orcs. And not just any orcs, oh no, her luck was still running poorly. No, the orcs just happened to be the white orc and his demonic spawn. However, she had two advantages, which were the only reason that she didn't die immediately. The little ring of invisibility and natural hobbit stealth.

Hidden in an alcove, she chewed on her lip indecisively as she struggled to figure out the best way to deal with this. After all, she was just a small lass who had barely any fighting experience. They'd most likely slaughter her without a second thought. On the other hand, if she managed to take down their signals, the allies might just have a chance. The faces of the company flashed through her mind and she sighed. There was really no choice after all, if there was anything that she could do to give her dwarves a better chance at survival, she would take it.

Thus began the highest stakes game of hide and seek that she'd ever played. Using the ring and the ability to annoy them like she had with the spiders, she slowly drew the orcs off, whittling down their numbers. It took a bit to find out what insults particularly infuriated them, but once she did, they often chased her so mindlessly that it was easy to draw them off. At one point, she had managed to draw off enough that she could slip through them and set the signals on fire. That particular stunt almost got her killed, if it hadn't been for the mithril shirt that Thorin had gifted her. As it was, she had been hit hard enough that she was almost positive that she'd had a broken rib, only managing to escape by the barest thread of luck.

Azog's roar of anger when the signals weren't salvageable was music to her ears. Snickering tiredly under her breath, she almost shrieked when she rounded a corner and bumped into the princes. The only thing that saved her from Fili was that she had been moving fast enough that she bounced back and fell on her rear, his sword flashing just inches above her.

Suddenly realizing that she was still wearing the ring, she wrenched it off and hissed, "It's just me."

Both of their eyes widened and Kili pulled her to her feet. They tried to usher her out of the tower, Kili muttering, "What are you doing? It's not safe here."

Rolling her eyes, she tugged her arm away from him. Keeping her voice low, she allowed her frustration to leak into her voice. "Of course it's not safe here, it's not safe anywhere. It case you have noticed, there's a freaking battle being waged out there. And that's not even counting the second army coming this way. I've done what I can with the signals, but I don't have any fighting skill, unlike...."

She trailed off as an idea came to her, one that she was pretty sure that Thorin and the rest would kill her for. She grinned widely at them and they looked uneasily at each other. "How would you like to play a game?"

After she explained her idea, they were all for it, although they did protest at the idea of using her for bait. She just shrugged it aside as a necessary evil, she moved the quietest, had the ring, and couldn't fight like the princes could. It took a few tries, but eventually they hit a rhythm where she would lure the orcs and they would ambush them working in unison. It worked beautifully and had the added benefit of allowing them to catch their breath in between attacks and lures.

She even managed to lure Bolg, whipping him into a frenzy with her taunts. Still, he was a formidable fighter and it took all three of them to bring him down, all of them sustaining injuries, although nothing life threatening. Finally, they seemed to run out of orcs, so she cautiously collected the princes and led them up to the top where Azog was. The room was empty except for a handful of orcs and Azog. However, all their attention was focused on their leader where he was practically foaming at the mouth as he detailed in extremely graphic detail what he would do to the line of Durin.

Wondering who in the world had managed to infuriate the orc so badly, her question was answered moments later when Thorin's taunting voice answered. Knowing that they only had moments, she ducked and motioned for Fili and Kili to take over. Moving so fast that it was just a blur, Kili had sent three arrows and Fili just as many throwing daggers into Azog. He gave a roar of pain, turning his head to look at them, before staggering and losing his balance, tumbling slowly out of sight. However, they couldn't focus on that as the remaining few orcs swarmed them.

Staying low, she hamstrung them and then allowed the other two to finish them off. Gasping in a breath, she scampered over to the ledge just in time to see Thorin and Dwalin work together to finish of Azog. Letting out a sigh of relief, she crumpled to her knees, her energy draining away. Fili and Kili appeared right behind her, sighs escaping them as they saw that Thorin was unharmed and shouted down to him.

He looked up, relief filling his expression as he saw both his nephews alive. He called up, "Are you hurt?"

Kili called down, his expression lightening, "Nothing major. And we found Bella."

However, when he looked down, she was gone. He cast around for her, but she had vanished and he cursed.

Hearing the cursing, she heartily echoed it silently as she made her way down the stairs with the ring on, wondering how she had forgotten that she was banished. True, Thorin hadn't looked like he was still gold mad, but it was hard to tell at times. She had to flatten herself against the wall as the princes dashed down the stairs, clearly intent on finding her.

She slipped past all of them, ignoring their reunion and words and plunging back into the fray. She still had the rest of the company to find. However, her participation didn't last all that long, a lucky goblin club back swing catching her on the back of her head and she knew no more.

* * *

The sun was sinking in the west when she slowly regained consciousness. Feeling as if orcs were dancing on her skull, she slowly pried her eyes open. She winced at the light, but the pounding in her head eased slightly. It took her a minute to remember what had happened, but then she forced herself to sit up, the middle of a battle was no place to be laying down.

However, it appeared that the battle had ended while she was unconscious, only a few groups hunting through the dead and dying for friends and dispatching enemy foe. It was hard to believe, but it looked like they had actually won. Realizing that she was still wearing the ring, she fumbled it off and stuck it in her pocket. The world suddenly jumped into clear focus and her headache receded enough that she could think better.

A sudden need to know how the company was struck her and she struggled to her feet. She swayed slightly before regaining her balance. Casting about, she finally located where the tents seemed to be set up and started stumbling that way. Even if she didn't see the company herself, Gandalf would most likely be willing to let her know how they were.

She had made it barely a few hundred feet when she heard her name called. She froze, looking around for the source. There, a hundred yards away from her were Nori and Bofur calling for her, but they were looking the wrong way. Taking a deep breath and praying that she wasn't making a big mistake, she croaked as loudly as her bruised throat allowed her, "Here!"

It came out very faint but is was apparently loud enough for them to hear, both of them whipping around, worry on Nori's face and desperation on Bofur's. They let out a shout of relief and sprinted towards her. She stayed where she was, her legs refusing to move. What if they hated her? However, Bofur was there seconds later, scooping her up into his arms in a crushing hug before pulling back and frantically checking her over for injuries. 

Bella endured it patiently, only wincing slightly when he brushed his fingers gingerly over the knot on the back of her head. She looked at Nori who was standing off to one side and asked tiredly, "Everyone?"

His face was weary but filled with relief, "We're all fine, lass, nothing that won't heal. But we've been looking everywhere for you."

She shrugged slightly, "Took a club to the head, just woke up. Thorin?"

Nori's gaze sharpened, a hint of anger and shame entering his gaze, "Himself again, the gold's thrall is entirely gone."

She held up her hand, "One more question. My banishment?"

The shame vanished and anger filled his eyes entirely, "Null and void. It was the moment that he uttered it."

She grinned at him, "Thanks."

Turning back and focusing entirely on Bofur who was still examining her frantically. Cupping his face gently, she called, "Bofur."

He finally focused on her, his eyes filled with fear, anger, relief, and such overwhelming love that it took her breath away. And yes, this wasn't the ideal moment, and yes, lad's were supposed to make the first move. But she just didn't care anymore. So before yet another disaster could happen, she leaned forward and kissed him firmly. He froze and she pulled back, disappointed. Apparently she had imagined the growing bond between them, that is was anything beyond just friendship.

Nori was roaring with laughter at their expressions and she scowled, going to kick him for mocking her. However, a pair of strong arms wrapped around her and Bofur pulled her back in for a sizzling kiss. Sighing and deepening the kiss, she slid her hands into Bofur's hair and pulled him closer. She could always kick Nori later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might update EJ tonight, might not, we'll see.
> 
> Praying for health, strength, and safety. We are strong together!


	10. A Cultural Misunderstanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fili/Bella
> 
> Some humor and fluff to help during these trying times. Enjoy!

As soon as she opened the door on the two dwarven princes, a fact that she would discover later, she knew that she had found her One. He was attractive, with the blond hair and blue eyes, but it was his warm smile and merry eyes that drew her attention. Somehow in her shock, she was a respectable hobbit lass and spinster thank you very much, she found herself agreeing to go on an adventure that she just knew was not going to go well. After all, it had a dragon involved, just look at history and it will tell you exactly how well such past endeavors have gone and none of them had ever involved a hobbit.

But still, she was a proper hobbit lass and it was her place to support her One, so she went. She did her best to be agreeable and helpful, to not raise a fuss or lose her temper. But other than a few words here and there, her One never seemed to notice her. So she went even further in her bids to get his attention. And didn't that just go swimmingly? She ended up being manhandled by trolls and covered in snot. Then those rock headed imbeciles were ticked off because she was trying to keep them alive. The only one that checked on her briefly afterwards was Nori and before she could even finish answering, he was already off to check on his brothers. And so her temper, never a biddable thing, grew.

Then there was running and wasn't that ever a treat. She half hoped that a warg would come close enough for her to kick it and share exactly how put out she was feeling about their pursuit. That it was armed with large teeth was something that she chose to ignore, her temper firmly in control at the moment as she swore quietly under her breath, quietly enough that none of the dwarves heard her.

Let's not talk about Rivendell. She had had a chance to clean up and get the troll snot off of her and scrub the scent of troll out of her hair, finally. She had allowed the elves to fuss over her and she looked as fetching as a slightly thin hobbit lass possibly could. However, a little late because of primping, she entered the dining hall to utter chaos. Still, the food smelled amazing and Fili had to notice her. However, she had barely sat when Kili tossed mashed potatoes at the dwarf next to her and missed horribly. Instead, he managed to splatter them all over her. Swallowing the shriek that tried to escape, she stood with as much dignity as she could muster, grabbed a few rolls to take with her, and turned to leave. Kili made a comment about her having no sense of humor. She pivoted on one foot and spiked a roll into his face, sending him toppling back out of his chair, before resuming her exit. Thankfully Arwen was kind enough to have a tray sent to her.

Smarting from all of the failures that she had had since the beginning, and half hoping that Fili would seek her out, which he didn't, she spent most of her time hidden away in the elven libraries, reading everything she could get her hands on about dragons. She had started off looking for information about dwarves. But the information that she found was so grossly inaccurate that she gave that up right away.

Before she knew it, the map had been read and they were stealing away in the night like thieves, although Nori probably did have quite a bit of the elves possessions in his possession. And still they had traveled as if nothing was amiss. The company had warmed up to her and all of the dwarves chatted with her, the Durins less than most.

When they were crossing the misty mountains, she felt the familiar ache in her lower back that signaled that her body was working just fine, if a bit off schedule, which honestly wasn't all that surprising, with all the stress and angst that she had been through on this journey. Grimacing, she wrapped her cloak tighter around her and kept trudging dully along. Things would be how things would be and nothing that she wished or did would make a difference. She had done plenty of both in her tween years and it had never made a difference.

Then had come the freaking stone giants, almost falling off a mountain, Thorin's little lecture, and Fili continuing to ignore her, not even bothering to check if she was alright. Always more emotional at this time, she angrily wiped tears from her eyes, tears of mingled frustration and sadness. The Ur's fussed over her and Oin gave her a quick glance over to make sure that she was ok, but other than that, the rest of the company followed Thorin's lead and left her the hell alone. That seemed to be a mixed blessing, as she was both angry and despondent and could really use a friend. 

But what was she thinking? She was alone in the Shire and she was alone here, even if her One was less than ten feet away from her. She lay trying to get some sleep after her horrible day when a sudden cramp shot through her gut. Sighing, she rose and took her pack with her, planning on leaving the cave in search of privacy to set herself to rights. Because there was no way that she was going to deal with that in front of a bunch of male dwarves.

However, in her haste, she didn't notice that Bofur was on watch. She ducked his questions, no way was she going to admit her problem to someone that did not have a female in his family by his own admission, for many years since his amad had passed. So there she was trying to figure out a way to phrase her need to step out for a second when her cursed sword glowed blue and they were falling, falling, falling. She cursed breathlessly as Bombur landed on her not once, but twice!

Then there were the nasty goblins with their nasty grabby hands. When they somehow managed to overlook her in the chaos, she just had to be the one to go after the dwarves and then knocked off by another damn goblin. This one was killed and dragged off to be eaten by a twisted creep, which was somewhat of poetic justice in her mind, although she had to admit that it wasn't a pleasant fate and not one that she would willingly wish on anyone.

Trying to find her way out of this cursed mountain ended up being another barrel of fun, starting with riddles with the twisted creep, the weird turn of being able to become invisible, racing through dank and dim tunnels, and the indignity of losing her buttons because of a door, not that she was going to let a door stop her even if it had been closed because she was D.O.N.E. with that mountain and she wanted sunshine, a bed, a bath, sleep, and food, not necessarily in that order.

By some miracle, she managed to catch up with the dwarves, only to find Thorin bad mouthing her and saying that she had run out on her contract, as if any respectable Baggins would. With a snort of contempt and mockery, she revealed her presence and was pleased to find that the dwarves were suitably shocked. She didn't even bother glancing at Fili, knowing that she would only be disappointed once again by his lack of interest or concern in her fate.

Then, as if bad luck had not been rubbing it's hands gleefully and chuckling maliciously, it decided to add yet another throw of the dice into the game. As soon as they had worked out that she was going to stay with them, and curse them for even thinking so little of her at least the other hobbits only gossiped behind her back, loudly enough that she could hear them, but at least not to her face, there was a howl from a warg. 

Then they were running again. She knew that women were obsessed with thinness for some reason, probably wanted to look like elves for some benighted reason. Well, she had the perfect diet for them. Go on an adventure with dwarves, between the running from enemies and continually loss of supplies, they would be thin in no time. Somehow, against all odds, they made it safely up into the trees. With her temper now firmly fraying, she noticed that none of the dwarves had even offered her the courtesy of helping her into a tree. When Gandalf handed her a lit cone, she was all too happy to spike them at the wargs, aiming for the maximum damage that she could, even though she could have told the dratted wizard that fire was a bad idea in the middle of a forest.

Then Thorin had to act like a dwarfling and respond to the taunting of his enemy. He was supposed to be a king and he responded to Azog like they were children in the schoolyard and Azog was the bully who had cracked a your mama joke. Tired of dwarves and all of their nonsense, tired of pulling them repeatedly from the fire, she nonetheless dutifully followed Thorin into the fray. That she got to stab an orc and vent some of her rage was entirely a bonus.

The rest of the company quickly joined in, late of course, but better than never. Then they were being picked up by giant birds. Giant sentient birds she found out as her ride spoke to her, asking her to grip it's feathers a little more gently. She immediately eased her death grip, feeling tears well up in her eyes. She sniffled and rubbed her eyes gently on her shoulder in a vain attempt to dry them. She hated the mood swings that accompanied this time, sending her from raging to teary at the drop of a pin, although considering all that she had been through with the dwarves, she deserved to have a meltdown, if they ever found a place to rest for longer than two minutes before they ran into something else that would try to kill them.

She was numb with exhaustion when they finally landed on the top of a huge freaking rock that would take forever to descend. Then Thorin woke up and magnanimously decided that yes, she did belong as part of the company. Apparently all you had to do was be as big of a suicidal idiot as the rest of them. She barely resisted saying this and instead merely nodded.

Then they were all busy staring at a distant mountain and Bella nearly groaned because if that was were they were going, they still had a far way to go. Needing space and some privacy, as well as a nap, although the chances of her actually getting to sleep were slim to none, she scouted the rock and managed to find a set of stairs worked into the side. She wondered idly what person had gone through the effort of carving them just to find a big fat load of nothing, she started making her way down the stairs.

It took a good hour before she heard anyone even call her name and she was almost all the way down, so she chose to ignore them, the wind whisking most of the words away anyway, besides, fool, hobbit, and lass. Shaking her head in irritation, she kept walking. Once she reached the ground, she started scouting for a good camping spot, one with cover and preferably close to running water. After their adventures, the company would need a little time to recover, for all that the dwarves nattered on about how they were built to endure.

She had found and set up a campsite, as well as managed her personal situation, even managing to get a fire going and capturing some fish from a nearby stream before any of the company finally managed to drag themselves down to join her. She eyed them with a scowl, daring them to say a single word to her and they eyed her uneasily, uncertain of what to make of the usually meek hobbit lass.

However, Bella was done pretending to be something that she wasn't and if the dwarves didn't like it, they could lump it. Or stick it somewhere, she didn't really care where. Gloin, Bombur, Dwalin, Balin, and Thorin exchanged significant glances and gave her plenty of space. Bombur was kind enough to head off Bofur and Bifur with small errands, trying to spare them from the lass's wrath, while Gloin signed the situation to Oin. The deaf dwarf looked like he might approach her and ask her about injuries, but the scowl on her face was warning enough and he tended to Thorin instead. Dwalin took it upon himself to take over the security of their little camp, although he muttered in Khuzdul that the lass had managed to pick an excellent campsite. This made Bella scowl even harder at the language that she was forbidden to learn.

Abruptly, weariness crashed over her and she motioned for Bombur to take over the fish, yawning. She took her bedroll over away from the others and tucked it in the roots of a large tree where she would be sheltered. She heard the youngest three dwarves arguing in quiet voices but ignored it. Usually, she would try to see what the problem was and if she could fix it. But now, now she was just too tired and they could sort out their own damn messes for a bit. She had found them a campsite, running water, and food. Anything else was on them.

However, once again, the fates were not going to be kind. She had spread her bedroll and stood to stretch one last time before crawling into it and passing out when there was a firm hand on her shoulder and she was turned until she found herself facing Fili, the bane of her existence, himself. His face was set in a frown and he said quietly, "Aren't you going to let Oin check your wounds?"

She raised an eyebrow sardonically at him, now he cared? However, she wasn't going to let him have the power of upsetting her anymore, so she said curtly, "I'm fine, mainly scrapes and bumps. I tended them myself. Anything else, highness?"

However, he missed the many warning signs that her body, posture, and expression were screaming at him. Instead, he looked at her incredulously like she had lost her mind. "Highness? What's wrong with you, Bella?" He knew instantly that that was the wrong thing to say, but it was too late, much, much too late to take it back.

Her spine stiffening, Bella finally felt the dam inside her break and everything that she had been holding back came rushing to the fore. Her anger clear as day, she jabbed him harshly in the chest with her pointer finger. "What's wrong with me? What's wrong, with, me? I tell you what's wrong with me, you stuck up, arrogant, piece of something or other, arrogant, stuck up dwarf! Ever since I left my home and been dragged off on an adventure, everything that can go wrong has gone wrong. I'm not surprised that so many things want to kill you or eat you with how irritating you are. Since I left home, I have been manhandled by trolls, by trolls that wanted to skin me and eat me, and then you're all upset because I say some things to keep all of us from dying, so none of you even bother to check if I'm alright. I had cracked and broken ribs, but you know what, I still managed to out run orcs and wargs because you have to do what you have to do. Thank goodness for the healers at Rivendell, because they said that one of my own ribs came perilously close to puncturing a lung. So they heal me up and I get cleaned up and feel normal for the first time in weeks and your brother has to spatter food all over me like a faunt."

"Still, you know what, this is a good quest, you guys need a home, so I'll keep on keeping on. We have to sneak away from Rivendell because people are understandably alarmed that you all think its a good idea to tangle with a fire breathing abomination. But you know what, I kept going anyway, because I said that I would and a Baggins never goes back on her word. So then we have to traipse through mountains that turn out to be alive, what is wrong with this world, and I almost fall to my death. And did I get are you ok Bella? That was close, Bella? So glad you aren't a smear on the floor of the canyon or on the side of the mountain from being squished by the giant, Bella. No, I get harsh words and ostracized by all of you."

Bifur rumbled a protest but Bombur quickly shushed him, praying that they wouldn't draw the eye of the irate hobbit. Thankfully, she was too intent on the hapless crown prince cowering under her rage to notice them

."So then the convenient cave that we found is a trap created by nasty goblins. Then, as I'm trying to catch up to all of you, another one of the damn creatures managed to knock me even further into the mountain where there was a twisted creep that likes to eat people. He killed and dragged the goblin away to eat it and it wanted to eat me!"

Fili tried to say something, but she had reached a full head of steam and rolled right over whatever he would've said. "I had to play the most traumatizing game of riddles that I've ever done in my life. If I never hear another riddle, it will be too soon. I won, of course, but then the nasty thing cheated and was going to strangle me. I managed to make it out of the mountain, but I lost my buttons to do so." She thrust the ragged button less edge of her coat under his nose to emphasis her point. "And if that's not indignity enough, I arrive just in time to hear Thorin defame my good name by saying that I would run out on my contract. I am a Baggins and when a Baggins gives her words, it is binding. But once again, because you all have managed to tick off half of middle earth, we are once again running for our lives. And did anyone say, oh, wait, the lass is shorter than all of us, why don't we give her a boost into the tree. No, it was everyone for themselves. Then Thorin decides that it's a good idea to respond to a bully's taunts and nearly gets himself killed. I killed an orc because of that. I've NEVER killed anything in my life. Never! Not that that creature didn't deserve it, but still. Respectable hobbits do not run around killing things, it's just not done. Then there are eagles and we're flying and I don't know if Thorin is alive or dead or if half of you are alive or dead or anything. Although once we got to the rock and Thorin apologized, so I suppose things will eventually work out. It only took him months and a few near death experiences to figure out that I'm not a bad person, imagine that. And once again, all of you are too fascinated with that bloody mountain to even bother asking if I'm ok, let alone start thinking of all the necessities that we need if we are to gather our strength and continue on. I was nearly all the way down that blasted rock before any of you even noticed that I left. I managed to get this campsite all set up and when I am finally done and just need some sleep, you have the nerve to tell me that something is wrong with me. You want to know what's wrong? Well, do you?"

He swallowed hard and nodded yes tentatively, "What's wrong is that I left my home and signed up for this insane quest on the hopes that my One would notice me and he doesn't even realize that I'm even alive."

This seemed to light something in him and he straightened from where he had been leaning away from her. Anger glittered in his eyes and his hands were balled in fists as he demanded, "Who? Who is the dwarf that has treated you so dishonorably? Which amongst us would you claim as your One?"

Tears running down her face, she shrieked at him, "You, you rock headed idiot. I've waited and waited for some sign, any sign, that I was anything more than a complete stranger to you, someone that you wouldn't mind spending time with and getting to know. I don't believe in love at first sight, that's for fairy tales, but I was willing to get to know you, to see if you would be willing to consider me. But I was a fool. I'm an outcast amongst hobbits and I'm nothing more than a means to an ends amongst the company. So fine, that's what I'll be and I won't ask for anything more and don't expect anything more than that from me either. So just leave me alone."

Leaving a stunned dwarf in her wake, she stomped out of camp. Passing Dwalin, she snarled, "Don't follow me, I'll be back when I'm damn good and ready and not a minute before." 

He nodded gravely, wisely not saying anything. She stormed onwards, slipping on the ring once she was out of sight of the company. Ignoring the muttering and discussion that broke out behind her, she walked away, searching for a good place where she could cry undisturbed. She'd had quite enough bad luck for a while and she mentally dared it to through anything else at her. She would take it and cram it back down luck's throat so hard that it would hopefully choke and die and give her some peace from it's insanity. She was done, so, so done. She wished that it was possible to die from mortification. She hadn't meant to blurt, or scream out, that he was her One. She had hoped that he would come to the conclusion on his own. Then she reminded herself that she didn't care whether he knew or not, didn't care at all, and as soon as the dragon had eaten her or the mountain was reclaimed, she could return to the Shire and never have to see his smug, stupid face again.

* * *

Fili sunk to his knees, his legs losing all strength. It was him, he was her One and she had known since the beginning. Why then, hadn't see approached him? Hadn't she been able to tell that he was waiting for her to indicate her willingness to be courted? It was the height of dishonor to offer courtship to a dam that had not made it obvious that she was available. Hobbits were hard to read anyway, with their lack of braids to tell others to whom they belonged and whether or not they were in a relationship.

He heard the others muttering, especially Thorin and Dwalin who were murmuring in a half impressed, half disgruntled tone that she was even worse than Dis. Ignoring them, he couldn't spare a thought for why they were speaking of his mother, he summoned all of his will and strength and pushed himself to his feet. Marching over to Ori, he snagged him and dragged him out the other side of the clearing from where his One had stormed off. Although everything in him was screaming at him to follow her and make sure that she was safe, he knew better than to mess with a dam that was that angry.

Ori was making little squeaks and twisting and Fili abruptly realized that he was gripping the scribe's collar too tightly. Releasing him, he graciously allowed Ori to get his breath back before demanding, "I know that you and Bella have talked about a lot of things about the differences in dwarves and hobbits." Ori nodded cautiously. "Did you ever talk about courtship or Ones?"

Ori dug out his journal and flipped rapidly through it, pausing here and there to read a sentence before shaking his head and moving on. Finally he seemed to find the section that he was looking for. "Ah, here we are. It was the week before we ran into the trolls. Let me see. Yes, hobbits do have Ones and she indicated that she knew who her One was, but refused to name who they were." He shook his head, his expression puzzled. "Hobbits are odd. She told me that the lads approach the lasses about courtship, not the other way around and that it's considered extremely bold and improper if a lass should even mention courtship to a lad, no matter how much she may care for him. That they had to wait patiently for the lad to realize it or for gossip to work it's way through the female family members until it got back around to the lad of what was suspected."

Fili felt his heart drop. All this time, had his heart thought that he was rejecting her? Swallowing hard, he asked, "Did you have a chance to share dwarven courtship customs with her?"

Ori shook his head, "No, we stopped for the day and made camp. When we rode again the next day, we talked about different farming methods."

"So she didn't know that I was waiting for her to make the first move. Why didn't you tell me, Ori? I would've talked to her, explained things. I've hurt her so badly, making her feel unwanted, instead of cherished like she should've been."

Ori looked ashamed. "I would like to say that it's because one doesn't interfere in another dwarf's courtship, that is taboo. But the truth is, I didn't realize that she was your One until we were in Rivendell and by that time, I had forgotten about the conversation. I have failed you both and I am so sorry, Fili. How can I help you make this right?"

Fili sank down onto a fallen log and rested his head in his hands. "I don't know, Ori. I just don't know. I don't even know if any of the company would be able to help me out or if I've messed up so badly that I've lost my One forever. Oh Mahal, what do I do?"

Ori got a determined look on his face and marched away, only to return a couple of minutes later with Bombur of all dwarves in tow. He said quietly, "I'll leave you two to talk and keep the others away."

Fili raised dull, hopeless eyes and looked an Bombur. Bombur nodded and shooed Ori away. Trying to pull himself together at least a little, he was a prince for goodness sake, Fili asked quietly, "Why did Ori bring you back, Master Bombur?"

Bombur settled himself comfortably on the ground with a chuckle. "The lad's a bright one. I suspect he thought I could help you out better than the rest of that lot with your little problem." Fili opened his mouth but Bombur gently cut him off, "And what makes me an expert is the fact that I am one of the two married dwarves in the company as well as the only one with a lass of my own. We all know that Gloin and his wife were instantly smitten with one another but not many know that I had to work much harder to woo and win my Kiva. She was a shy lass, as winsome and sweet as anything, but meek. It took some work to get her to approach me for courtship, let me tell you. Took near a decade before we were finally wed, all told. And you'll not meet a happier pair then us, although Gloin likes to boast about his family." He smiled good naturedly at Fili and the young prince felt the faintest flicker of hope in his heart.

He asked quietly, "Can you help me fix this mess? My One hates me because she believes that I do not care for her, that I've neglected her. If I'd only known, but wishing won't change the past and I need to know how to move forward. I need her to know how much I truly adore and cherish her, that if I'd only known of her people's customs, I would've fought and fought hard for the privilege of winning the right to court her, to get to know every little bit of information about her, the things that she shares and the things that she hides away. Her dreams, fears, hopes, and wishes. All of these things that I have denied myself for so long because I believed her to be unavailable. Do you know what torture it was to see her in Rivendell, looking so beautiful, and to be unable to go to her and tell her how I thought that she glowed brighter than any gem that I'd ever seen? That I was a rich dwarf simply from the fact that I had gotten to meet her. How I would walk away from anything or anyone, everything and everyone, if she demanded it? To tell her that I was hers and beg her to be mine as well. But I didn't know if hobbits had Ones and both amad and uncle raised me to never, ever, approach a female who had not approached you first."

Bombur chuckled and held up his hand to stop the flow of words pouring from Fili. "These are all things that the lass needs to hear from you herself. However, there's more going on here that just simple cultural misunderstandings."

Drawing in a deep breath, Fili said, "What else?"

"Well, gender. She's a lass, and a fine one she is too, but dams have always been foreign to dwarrow and we have had to work hard to gain what little understanding that we have. So let me explain a little bit about the differences and then we can start working on ways to get yourself back into her good graces. Because she doesn't truly hate you, it hurts too much to hate your One and hate is foreign to hobbits anyway. She just needs a little time to cool off and you need to know a few things before you work on trying to reconcile with the lass."

Fili nodded, feeling a tiny bit of hope creep back into his heart. "Tell me what I need to know, what I can do to fix this. Please, help me."

Bombur chuckled and nodded before calling out to the bushes, "You might as well come out too, lad. If she's going to be your sister, then you might as well know this too."

Fili turned and watched as Kili crept sheepishly from the bush and joined Fili on the log. Serious for once, the dark hair prince leaned lightly on his brother before sitting straight and turning to face Bombur and nodding that he was ready.

Bombur folded his hands over his substantial girth and started.

* * *

After a substantial cry that left her lightheaded but able to think clearer, Bella let out a deep sigh. As much as she wished that she could change things, it was too late now. Her mother had always warned her that she would someday regret her hasty temper, well today was that day. She hadn't meant to blurt all that out, had resolved to be a lady about it and just let things go. And while being chased and almost eaten repeated was truly wearing, there was no reason for her to have acted like Lobelia. A spoiled snippet of a miss that believed that the sun rose and set on her. So she would have to go back and face the music.

Sighing, she stood up and made her way to the stream, needing to tidy up at least a little before heading back. Reaching the stream, she pulled off the ring and shoved it into her pocket. She was truly a mess and she scowled briefly at her reflection before sighing. Kneeling, she scrubbed off the accumulated grime from the goblin caves as best she could. There wasn't anything she could do about her red rimmed eyes from weeping of the dark circles under them from lack of sleep. Her stomach was grumbling and she briefly regretted running out on the fish before pushing it aside. There were worse things than missed meals, as she'd come to find out. Still, she drank several handfuls of cold water to silence her stomach's rumbling as well.

Pulling out her little wooden comb, she tamed her runaway locks the best that she could but eventually had to give up as the hair kept fighting back. Longing for nothing more than the chance to sleep for the next decade, she made her way back towards the camp. She was amazed that none of the other dwarves had come looking for her yet, especially Dwalin as he took his guard duty quite seriously.

She reached the camp and sure enough, there was Dwalin on guard duty. Making her way over to him, she looked at the ground blushing, before forcing herself to meet his eyes. She murmured, "I'm sorry, for all of that. That was uncalled for."

A corner of his mouth quirked up, "We all have bad days, lass. Bombur saved you a fish. Eat and then get some rest. We're all going on nerves and will power anyway."

She offered him the tiniest of smiles in return. "Thank you, I will."

It took all of her willpower not to look for Fili, but she somehow managed. Most of the dwarves were scattered around the clearing, either tending to their things or sleeping. Having remembered on her way back about the things that she had scavenged, she started picking her way through the dwarves. Oin and Gloin were leaning back to back, both resting but neither one asleep. She knelt next to them and started digging through her pack. Gloin roused, "What are you looking for, lass?"

She kept digging as she answered, "After the goblins dragged you off, I took the opportunity to salvage a few things. Ah, here we are."

She pulled out Oin's hearing trumpet and healer's kit and handed them to the hard of hearing dwarf before reaching in and pulling out Gloin's locket, pressing it gently into his hands. "I believe that these belong to you."

They both stared at her in disbelief and she offered them a tired smile before moving on. Bofur was asleep, so she simply placed his hat back onto his head. As she moved through the group, she gave treasured items back or spoke quietly with the dwarves, apologizing for her outburst. She was pleased to see that Thorin was resting and that his color looked better. 

Kili kept staring at her with a horrified expression, so she simply rolled her eyes and promised herself that she would make her apologies to him after she got some sleep. Gratefully accepting the fish that Bombur had set aside for her, she again headed for bedroll, only to draw up short when she saw Fili sitting next to the nest she had made for herself, clearly waiting for her. Wanting to deal with this, well, never, she nonetheless forced herself to keep moving forward. 

Although she knew that embarrassment stained her cheeks, she forced herself to meet his eyes and nod, before sinking down onto her bedroll. She said quietly, "I apologize for my outburst earlier. It was unwarranted and you didn't deserve that. However, I need some sleep, so if we can maybe talk later?"

He shook his head, a determined expression on his face and her heart sank. "No, I don't want you to keep believing something that isn't true. Afterwards, I'll leave so you can sleep, you have my word."

Knowing that there was no way to stop a truly determined dwarrow, Bella sighed and took a bite of her fish. She was going to need all of her strength for this conversation. After chewing slowly and swallowing, she said, "Fine. What do I believe that is not true?"

He turned so that he was facing her directly and offered her his water skin, which she accepted reluctantly, "You believe that I don't see you, that I don't even know that you exist. That's just not true. From the moment that you first opened your door, I knew that you were my entire world, that I would give anything to make sure that you were happy and safe. That if you did not sign on for the quest, I would abandon it as well, to stay with you."

She set the fish aside half eaten, unable to force down another bite. "Then why have you ignored me? Why have you not approached me or talked to me or anything?"

Fili took a deep breath, clenching his fists. "As trite as this sounds, it all comes down to a cultural misunderstanding."

Swallowing hard, her voice was emotionless as she asked, "A cultural misunderstanding?"

His eyes met hers and they were pleading for her understanding, for her to at least hear him out. "Ori just told me today that in the Shire, for hobbits, it's the lads that approach the lasses as to courting. That it is taboo for lasses to approach the lads, no matter if they are Ones or not."

She tilted her head and examined him before slowly nodding, "Yes, that's right."

"For dwarves, it's quite different. Our women, dams, are so rare. One in three, sometimes as few as one in five, children born are female. Our dams are treasured. As such, they have the entire say in any relationship. It is taboo for a dwarf to approach a dam, the dam must approach the dwarf and inform him that she is open to courtship before he can start courting her. To do otherwise is dishonorable and you could rightfully demand my beard for my transgressions against you."

She closed her eyes, struggling to draw a deep breath. "So all this time, if I'd just known, you would've."

He reached out and boldly caught her hand. "Yes, in a heart beat. So many times I was tempted to talk to you anyway, to tell you how I felt, but then how could I be worthy of you if I broke one of our deepest taboos?"

She said quietly but didn't draw her hand from his, instead turning hers so that she could lace their fingers together. "So if I were to say that I was open to courting, would I have to do the courting?"

His eyes shone and a trace of hope glimmered in them. "No, just because a dam is open to being courted doesn't mean that it's all agreed upon. It merely means that she's willing to give the dwarf a chance to show that he's worthy of her, that he can protect her and support her and any children they might have. At no point is she forced to accept the dwarf or go through with anything, all the way up to their wedding day she can walk away without any explanations."

A sly smile played on her face as she asked, "And how would a dam go about telling a dwarf that she is open to courtship?"

He shrugged, "It's up to the dam, but she has to verbally tell them that she's interested. Usually her braids will signal if she's available or not, but..."

She smiled, "But hobbits don't have braids." She turned things over in her mind for several moments before making up her mind. She slipped her hand from his, ignoring how his face fell. Taking a deep breath, she said, "In that case. Fili, son of Dis, daughter of Thrain, I am open to the idea of courting." Seizing the lapels of his coat, she pulled him down and pressed her lips to his. He froze and she quickly drew back, afraid that she had crossed some boundary.

His expression was dazed but it quickly morphed into wonder and awe. He murmured, "That will do it."

Cupping her face gently, delicately in his calloused hands, he reclaimed her lips with his, kissing her with all the passion and longing that he had kept pent up inside of him since he'd first laid eyes on her. By the time he drew back, they were both breathing hard. She chuckled and he grinned warmly at her. "I'm sorry that I made you feel unwanted for so long. That was never my intention."

She answered softly, "I'm sorry that I never asked about dwarven courting. I mean, Ori asked about hobbit courting, but we got interrupted before we could talk about dwarven and just never got back to it. I could've saved us so much heartache if I'd just known." However, the past few days finally caught up to her and she leaned forward with a yawn and rested her forehead on his shoulder.

He rubbed a circle on her back before urging her into her bedroll. "We know now and that's all that matters."

Tucking herself comfortably into her nest, she asked around a yawn, "What's up with Kili? He was giving me weird looks. I mean, I know that I shouldn't have yelled, but really, I was pushed to it. And I'm sure that he's been yelled at before."

She looked up to find Fili blushing and raised her eyebrow. What in the world? He took a deep breath and said calmly, "We'll talk about it after we've gotten some rest. Things will just get all muddled up right now, where we're so tired."

She could accept that logic, so she snuggled down into her bedroll and closed her eyes. She mumbled tiredly, "I'm sorry for yelling, it just happens sometimes. Although I will admit that I have quite the temper. I've been trying to hold it back as well, but now you know and I don't know what you'll think of me. That I'm just some crazy hoyden or something. I've been trying to be a sweet lass, in the hopes of encouraging your courtship. I guess that plan is just out the window now."

He brushed the hair away from her face and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You're perfect however you want to be, lass. Although honestly, I always thought that you were hiding some fire to you."

She yawned and mumbled, "I just hope that you don't change your mind in the morning. That would break my heart more than anything else."

She was already asleep, but he told her anyway, his voice quiet and filled with determination, "I would never change my mind. Dwarves only love once, you're it for me, love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Praying for strength, hope, and healing. We are strong together!


	11. Fairy Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kili/Bella

Bella scrabbled desperately at Thorin's hands, unable to draw a deep breath. When she had signed a contract all those months ago, she had never foreseen this happening. But he had truly lost himself to the madness, him and all the rest of the dwarves. Unable to take it any longer, she dug her nails into Thorin's forearms, forcing him to let her go and she fell.

The wind whistling by her ears drowned out the cries of horror as she fell. She only had a moment to decide, to decide whether to live or die. But a small part of her rebelled intensely. She had not come all this way just to die or see her dwarves die because of their own stupidity. In the nick of time, she twisted, flaring out her wings and skimming along the ground. Feeling her eyes start to blur from tears, she circled the elves once before landing next to Gandalf, immediately hiding her wings away.

His expression sad, Gandalf immediately wrapped her under his cloak and led her away to somewhere that she could mourn privately. He murmured quietly, "That was very brave of you, Bella."

She sniffled, "Or very foolish. I can never go back now, you know that. But neither can I permit them to die because of their own foolishness. We have not come all this way just to have it end like this, not now."

"But to reveal yourself, dear heart. Especially after you've been so careful."

She shook her head, ignoring the tears trickling down her face, "He is truly lost in the gold thrall, Gandalf. Yes, he may or may not have pulled me back up. Or he might have released me and kept throwing the company off the battlements for disagreeing with his choice. I hope that this had shocked him out of it, but if it didn't, then he is truly lost beyond all redemption."

Gandalf sighed, "It is entirely in the hands of Thorin and the Valar now. Rest here, and I'll fetch you later. We may need your aid in the talks after all is said and done."

She offered him a tired smile and did as he said, stretching out on the cot that he'd motioned her to, truly exhausted from the long journey and events.

* * *

Bella murmured under her breath as she flitted over the battlefield, doing her best to find any of the company. Since her secret was out anyway, she utilized her powers to the best of her ability, drawing upon the earth to aid her against the orcs and goblins. The earth loathed them as much as she did, so answered her call willingly. She fought hard and long, even saving the Durins whom she had come to love so dearly.

She didn't bother to speak with them, moving on to the next orc to fight, and the one after that and the one after that. Eventually, the battle ended, the allied force achieving victory together. Bella immediately made her way over to the healing tents, spreading her gift as far and wide as she could, seeking out the injured and healing them to the best of her ability. 

It was there that Gandalf found her as the sun was setting, exhaustion in every line of her being. He didn't say a word, just held open his arms and she ran into them, crying like a faunt. It was too much, the entire day and journey had been just too much and all she wanted was to sleep and let the world go away for a little while.

* * *

When she woke, a week had passed and she knew that she had a choice to make. Gandalf had kept anyone from seeing her, although there were several missives waiting for her to be read, along with a loaf of bread and a hunk of cheese that someone had kindly left for her. Nibbling on the food, she carefully read the letters. There were missives from Bard and Thranduil, offering her sanctuary in either the Greenwood or Dale, whichever she should prefer. She set those aside as something to think about.

The rest were from her dwarves, begging for her forgiveness and offering her a home in Erebor should she ever want one as well as understanding and best wishes should she chose not to stay. She sorted through the stack several times, but the letter that she longed for most was not there. There was nothing from the laughing, younger prince. However, she needed to talk to Kili before she made her decision.

Making her way out of the tent, she was surprised to see that it was nearly dusk. She found Gandalf seated outside her tent, smoking thoughtfully. She plopped down next to him and he startled out of his thoughts before grinning down at her. "Ah, Bella, you're finally awake."

She sighed, "How long have I been out?"

"Just a week, the earth doesn't have that strong of a grip on you yet."

She wrinkled her nose at him, "You did some sort of wizardy thing, didn't you?"

He chuckled, "I always forget how blunt hobbits are. Yes, I did. I bought you a little bit of time, just enough for you to figure out what you want to do."

She examined her hands, not meeting his eyes, "The company, did they all make it through."

A small twinkle in his eye, he nodded, "Aye, that they did. Didn't they leave you messages?"

Knowing that she wasn't truly fooling him anyway, she rolled her eyes, "Yes, they did. But Kili didn't. And I thought for sure that I'd wake up to one of them keeping vigil beside me if the missives were true and Thorin had lifted my banishment."

Gandalf blew a smoke ring, "Ah. They would have undoubtedly been by your side, except for two reasons. One, they were fearful that you would hate them. I honestly don't think that even this would have stopped them, but the second thing was that they had to oversee the preparation of Erebor so that everyone is safely housed before winter sets in. They've been so busy that they haven't even had a chance to sleep for more than a snatch at a time. As for Kili, he left me a message for you."

She held out her hand, her eyes eager.

He shook his head, "No, nothing like that. A verbal message that I promised to pass on, a most baffling one at that. As long as there are stars, he'll be there."

She covered her mouth and pushed back a sob before smiling widely, a tear trickling down her face. Gandalf smiled down at her, "I take it that you know what he meant?"

She grinned at him, "I have to go."

He nodded to her, "Best of luck, Bella. You deserve true happiness."

* * *

Standing at the base of the battlement, Bella took a deep breath. She could do this, she could face this, she could be strong. Taking one last deep breath, she flared her wings out and flew up to the battlements. Her feet touched down right at the sun sunk below the horizon. Seeing that the battlements were empty, she sat and dangled her feet over the edge, just waiting. He would either show up or he wouldn't.

After about five minutes, she heard a very tired set of footsteps coming up the stairs. She held her breath, carefully peeking over her shoulder. Sure enough, it was Kili, although he looked exhausted both physically and emotionally. His shoulders were slumped and he just looked totally defeated. Once he was off the stairs, no use causing a nasty fall, she called softly, "Kili."

His head whipped up at that, his eyes widening as he took her in. He breathed 'Bella' and was across the battlement in three large strides. He drank her in, checking her over carefully for any wounds. He reached out like he was going to touch her before stopping himself. He murmured, "You're alive and all right. I was starting to give up hope."

She offered him a strained smile, "I just woke up today, otherwise I would've come sooner. How is everyone? How are you?"

He shrugged and she saw bandages peeking out of the collar of his tunic, "We're all right, nothing that won't heal given time." He sighed and glanced away, "Why didn't you tell us?"

She could hear the unspoken, 'Why didn't you tell me?' She sighed, allowing her legs to swing back and forth lazily, "I did tell you, back at the very beginning."

He frowned at her, "I think that I would've remembered if you'd told us that you could fly." 

She giggled a little bit at that and his expression relaxed, "But I did. Don't you remember me telling you the legend about one of my Took ancestors having married a fairy?"

He huffed, leaning against the wall so that he could see her better, "You said that it was just a legend."

She shrugged, "More of a closely guarded family secret. Every so often, her blood will flare up more strongly and a faunt will be gifted with fairy like attributes. Golden curls, sapphire eyes, a mischievousness nature, and an inability to stay still. Oftentimes, the fairy born will end up going on adventures and many disappear from the Shire altogether."

"What about the...?" He gestured helplessly towards her back.

"The wings?" She allowed them to flare out from where she'd been repressing them. They were like a butterflies wings, myriad shades of green shimmering across them. His expression filled with awe as he stared at them. "Most of the fairy born never get wings. It's only when the gift is exceptionally strong that the possibility of wings occur. I can only name three other hobbits that it happened to and all of them kept their wings."

He heard the sadness in her voice and tore his eyes away from the magnificent wings and back to her. He reached out and gently nudged her face up until their eyes met. "What do you mean, keep your wings? Aren't they part of you?"

She sighed deeply, warmed at the concern in his dark eyes. "Well, yes and no. All hobbits have a natural affinity with the land, a gift from our maker. But the fairy born feel it more strongly. But the more I tap into the earth and it's gifts, the stronger my fairy traits grow. I tried to use it as little as possible, I enjoy being a hobbit, after all. It's only when you're close to the final transition that the wings appear. Now, I have to make a choice." She offered him a tired, crooked little smile. "Whether to stay a hobbit or become a fairy entirely."

His voice was deeper and ragged, his anxiety and fear displayed clearly on his face, "What is the difference between the two?"

One of the things that she adored about Kili was how everything he felt shone so clearly on his face, for her at least. She reached out and gently traced his face before leaning back and looking up at the waxing moon. "If I chose to remain a hobbit, I will be mortal, although I will still live a lot longer than a typical hobbit would, more like a dwarf's lifespan. I will still have a connection with the earth, but it will be a shadow of the gift I have now. My wings will vanish and I'll never again be able to fly. Those are the main things."

He swallowed hard, "And if you chose to become a fairy?"

She traced the edge of the battlement with a finger, staring sightlessly off into space, "My hobbit side will fade away entirely. I will be considered almost immortal, as my existence will be tied in with the earth and wherever I find myself, most likely a forest of some sort. I will have a very strong connection with the earth, able to influence it as I wish. My wings will remain permanently, no longer hidden away from sight. However, everything that makes me me will be gone. I will neither hunger nor grow cold. However, neither will I retain mortal attachments. Friends and family will have no meaning to me, as I will be one with the forest and earth. We are given this choice but once and it can never be undone."

He clenched his fists tightly, "And you can't have time to think about it, to decide?"

She shook her head, starlight shimmering off the tears gathered in her eyes, "No. When I used my wings and then called upon the earth to aid me in battle, it fully awoke my fairy blood. The sleep that Gandalf put me in put it in just enough dormancy that I could decide, but I must make my decision by the end of the night."

"And if he hadn't done it?"

She sighed, "I used a lot of power during the battle, much more than it normally takes to transition. I would've become a fairy entirely without Gandalf's intervention. This way, at least, I have a choice."

His expression filled with despair and he asked quietly, "What will you choose?"

Swinging her legs around, Bella hopped down onto the battlements. Moving to stand directly in front of him, she said softly, "Well, that depends on your answer."

He stared at her, swallowing hard, and forced himself to speak, "What question will you ask?"

She locked her eyes with his and her voice was just a whisper, "Is there room here for me to build a home?" She reached out and laid her hand gently over his heart. She could feel it thundering under her touch, but waited patiently for him to speak.

He covered her hand with his own, larger one and said hoarsely, "It has been yours since the moment I laid eyes on you, to do with as you will. I give it to you freely."

She beamed at him brightly, even as tears streamed down her face. She murmured, "And you have mine."

Reaching up, she slid her arms around his neck and urged him down for a kiss, standing on her toes to meet him halfway. He froze for a moment before scooping her close and kissing her desperately, as if she would disappear from his arms at any second. She gently combed her fingers through his hair, trying to calm and reassure him.

When he finally pulled back, there were tears on both of their faces. Resting his forehead on hers, he murmured, "Are you sure, Bella? After everything? I couldn't even save you that morning."

She brushed the tears away from his face, smiling up at him, "You've given me so much more that you'll ever realize, Kili. You have saved me more times and in more ways than you'll ever know. Now, fix my hair and show me how to fix yours so that I can go get our family straightened out. According to Gandalf, you lot haven't been taking care of yourselves at all."

It suddenly seemed to sink in that she was there and this was real. Scooping her up, he twirled her about, joyful laughter spilling out of him which she gladly joined. The sound brought Fili running, his jaw dropping when he realized that she was there, alive and whole and that she and Kili were laughing happily. That only made the pair of them laugh harder.

Joining their laughter, he came over and stole her away from Kili, checking her over carefully for any wounds. Once he was satisfied that she wasn't seriously hurt, he scooped her up and took off running, yelling teasingly over his shoulder for Kili to catch them if he could. Kili immediately let out an outraged roar, springing after them while still laughing.

Hanging on for dear life, she demanded, "Where are you taking me?"

Fili grinned down at her, "The others need to know that you're alive and all right. Besides, if Kili wants to keep you, he's going to have to prove his worth to all of us first. Only the best for our hobbit lass, after all."

He quickly turned a corner, causing Kili to overshoot right as he was about to catch them. She looked back to see Kili still hot on their trail, love and laughter shining brightly in his eyes. She couldn't stop the giggles that erupted. Her family was insane, but they were hers, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kili's message to Bella?
> 
> It's from Barbie as Rapunzel: "Constant as the stars above, always know that you are loved."
> 
> Yeah, I don't own that either or the hobbit, but I just so happen to think that it fit well with this story :)
> 
> Praying for strength, hope, and healing. We are strong together!


	12. Sleeping Beauty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fili/Bella

They found her propped up against the tower on Ravenhill, covered in blood and her wee sword still in her fist. It was Dwalin that found her, a mournful cry escaping him as he stumbled across the tiny lass. He shakily pressed a hand to her neck, checking for a pulse, but there wasn't even a flutter under his fingers. Easing the blade from her hand, he sheathed it before scooping her up, tears trickling unashamedly down his face. 

When she hadn't shown up after the battle, they had feared the worst, but they had hoped, desperately, that somehow, miraculously she might have survived. He carried her steadily back to the tent when the royals rested, injured, mourning how light and fragile she was in his arms. She had always seemed so much larger and full of life, that they often forgot how tiny and delicate she truly was. The other company members searching the field saw him and joined him as he walked back towards camp, tears falling from their eyes as they realized the truth of the situation, that it was too late for their hobbit lass.

But worse by far was when he entered the tent with his small burden. They had stared at him in disbelief before Thorin let out a low moan of grief and Kili wept. But the howl of grief that escaped Fili would haunt all that heard it to the end of their days. It was like his soul was being shredded right there. Dwalin had given her to him and he rocked her gently, the keen slipping from him while he stared sightlessly into the distance. In the end, Oin had to force him to take a sleeping potion, worried that he would grieve himself to death right along with the hobbit lass.

While Fili slept, they took her to another tent and Oin looked her over carefully, but she was gone. Because the royals were all too injured, Balin and Dwalin took it upon themselves to clean her up and lay her out. A weeping Dori had come by with a dress for her, hastily made but worthy of a princess. As they carefully laid her out and braided her hair, they sang the traditional dirges for the dead. After they were done, she looked peaceful, like she was only sleeping. Dwalin murmured, "What are we going to do, nadad? I know that the lad will want her laid to rest with all honors, but what were the lass's wishes? We owe her that much at least."  
Balin sunk down wearily, exhaustion laying heavily on him. He tried to think over what she had wanted. She had drawn him aside that night, wanting to speak with him specifically about the contract, it had been important. What had it been? Closing his eyes, he thought hard and a memory suddenly flashed back in his mind.

* * *

The lass had brought him to her study, a contemplative frown on her face. Closing the door behind her for privacy, she gestured for him to please sit, even offered him a glass of whiskey, which he had gratefully accepted. She had said softly, "You are the one in charge of the contract, am I correct, Master Balin?"

He nodded slowly, "His Majesty has authorized me to make changes to the contract within reason. However, if you want a larger share of the treasure, I'm afraid that that's out of the question."

She waved that aside as unimportant, "No, that is more than fair. You'll find that hobbits aren't big on jewels and gold and such, though I imagine that they're nice enough in their own way. No, I wanted to talk to you about funeral arrangements. The ones laid out are dwarven in nature and I was wondering if there was a way to amend them."

He nodded, "Ah yes, Thorin did indeed leave that up to my discretion. How can I amend them for you, Mistress Baggins?"

She wrung her hands before looking up and meeting his eyes calmly, "What I'm about to tell you is not common knowledge and I would prefer that it remain thus. Can you give me your word on this?"

His diplomatic side came out to play, "If it endangers the company, I am obligated to inform them, otherwise, my lips are sealed."

She offered him a small smile, "It has nothing to do with the company and will endanger none of you, you have my word. It just says in the contract that a dwarf will be returned to stone if at all possible and burned if not. However, I am not a dwarf. Hobbits were created by Aule's wife, Yavanna. When we die, we are returned to the earth. If I die, I should like to be buried in the ground, if at all possible. However, sometimes circumstances make it impossible, if a hobbit passes in winter for example or there is not enough left for a burial. In that case, not to be indelicate." She blushed slightly but kept speaking, "Our bodies may be stored and then buried in the spring or even burned, but it we are burned, the ashes must be gathered and planted with a plant of our choice."

He noted that down and asked, "What would your plant of preference be?"

She let out a small breath of relief, "Either a belladonna plant, as it is my namesake, or an oak tree, for strength and peace. I have seeds for both, I'll carry both of course but if you could also carry a set of seeds, better insurance against mischance."

He nodded, "Easily enough done, Mistress Baggins. Is there anything else that I need alter?"

Her face turned serious, "Yes, but I don't want this added into the contract. This is one of our deepest held secrets."

He obediently set aside his quill and focused on her. "What would it be, lass?"

"Sometimes, although it is so rare as to be nearly legend, but sometimes in times of great stress and chaos and a number of other factors, a hobbit's body will tip over the edge and fall into a sleep so deep that it is like a living death. They will appear in all ways as one dead, but instead their body is only deeply asleep, healing the wounds and giving them a chance to recover and survive."

His eyes widened, "How is that possible?"

She shrugged, "We do not know where this came from. We believe it to be a gift from our maker, a way to balance out how soft and unprotected we are."

He ran his hand over his beard, trying to find the right words to ask his question, "How do..."

She offered him another tiny smile, "How do you know if one is truly dead or not? Although there are no signs of life, the body will not decay. Are you familiar with the tale of Sleeping Beauty? I believe that that has it's roots in hobbit lore. It will appear as if they are merely sleeping, although there will be no visible sign of life. Breathing and heart beats are too shallow, too slow, to be detected and they will be cool to the touch. All you can do is wait."

He tried to think over the logistics of it before pushing it aside. She had said that it was rare, but still, one should always gather as much information as they could. "How long does one wait before knowing one way or the other?"

She tilted her head thoughtfully, "Unless the body is badly damaged, then the injured hobbit should wake on the first day of Spring. If they are seriously injured, depending on how close or far away Spring is, it may be another year before they are well enough to wake. However, if that is the case, you will have to find a way to get fluids and food into them. Anything longer than six months is dangerous for a hobbit to go without food."

"And are there any side effects to this sleep?"

"When the hobbit wakes, they will be weak and hungry. Probably a little bit disoriented if the last thing they remember was violent or a battle. But long lasting effects, no, there shouldn't be any."

He asked, "Is there anything else?"

She shook her head and they both rose, making their way out of the room and rejoining the rest of the company.

* * *

As the memory faded, hope flared in Balin's chest. Could this be the death sleep that she had spoken of so many months ago? Looking at his devastated brother, he immediately made the decision to keep it to himself. If he raised their hopes, only to be wrong, it would irreversibly break their hearts. No, he had to monitor the situation himself and only time would tell.

He replied to Dwalin's question, "She is to be returned to the earth, but in the Spring. Until then, we will lay her to rest as Fili prefers."

Dwalin sighed, running a large hand over his head, "I'm not sure that that's the best thing. The lad is half mad with grief right now."

Balin shook his head sadly, "The lad is her One, he deserves the right to mourn her properly."

Dwalin sighed, looking older than Balin had ever seen him look before, even with all the cares he had carried on his shoulders. "Very well, it shall be as you say."

Bofur chose that moment to enter the tent, his eyes glossy with tears and his hat crumpled in his hands. He said hoarsely, "I know that it's presumptuous, but I was wondering if I could take a shift of the death watch for the lass. She was dear as kin to all of us."

Balin nodded and slowly rose to his feet, "I appreciate it, laddie. I know that she considered us all kin as well. Dwalin has to get back to guarding and I need to start making arrangements. If the others want to take turns as well, we won't turn them away. It's only fitting that the company keep watch for her."

He didn't bother telling them that he would be making additional arrangements as well, on a thread of hope so slender and yet so strong that it was like the hobbit lass herself.

* * *

In the end, he had to enlist the help of others. First, he had to take Dori into his confidence. The eldest Ri brother was nothing if not discreet and he was the only one strong enough to move the tomb lid once it had been slid into place. While Bella had laid in state and the dwarves worked to clear and create a tomb fitting for her, Balin was busy claiming and cleaning out an office. He did it under the guise of a necessity to keep the kingdom running, but what no one knew about was the secret chamber behind the office. It had been used to house secret documents, but he knew that it would do well to keep Bella safe and protected while she slept.

With Dori's assistance, the room was carefully cleaned and a secure nest was made on the floor with the softest of furs. They had wanted to smuggle a bed in, but that would've been too obvious. Then came the hard part. They had to wait until she was officially laid to rest and the mourners to leave, sneak in, retrieve Bella, and return to the office unseen. It took forever until Fili left but eventually Kili came and gently led him away, both princes hollow eyed with grief. Balin was relieved that there were no guards posted at the moment, as every hand was needed to make Erebor habitable before winter set in, otherwise it would be much harder to slip in.

Despite Bella saying that the sleeper would need neither food nor drink and that their breathing would be so shallow as to be undetectable, he had worried about leaving her in a sealed coffin. It was nerve wracking in the extreme but finally they made it back to the secret chamber and had her carefully settled on the furs, her hands folded neatly over her stomach and she did appear to be sleeping peacefully.

Dori had been skeptical about the entire thing but Balin knew that he couldn't deny the flicker of hope. He asked quietly, his voice strained, "How long until we know?"

Carefully straightening her braids, Balin said quietly, "If her body does not decay, then we have hope."

Dori swallowed hard, "How long do we wait?"

Balin said wearily, climbing to his feet, "She said the first day of Spring."

* * *

Life moved on even as the company grieved and a week passed and then a second one. It was at the end of the third week and there was no change, she still looked perfectly asleep, that he felt hope flare firmly in his heart. That hope flared a little brighter every day that passed and there was no change. Winter passed slowly, one month bleeding into another.

It was a time of mingled joy and grief. They had reclaimed their home and Thorin was king under the mountain. But the doing so had cost many lives and they had lost Bella in the doing so. It would take time for that loss to recede and for them to feel joy again. Fili was like a ghost half the time wandering the mountain aimlessly and the other half he worked so hard that he was killing himself in an effort to drown out his grief and get some sleep without the nightmares that haunted him. It hurt Balin to watch him struggle, but he couldn't risk the slim chance that he was wrong. So he held his tongue and offered him the best support that he could.

A few weeks before the first of Spring, he summoned Oin into his office. Instead of speaking to the hard of hearing dwarf, he carefully signed. Nori had been growing extra suspicious of late and Balin didn't trust him not to try and eavesdrop to discover Balin's secrets. Carefully barring the door, he signed to Oin, "Use iglishmek only, I don't want anyone to overhear this."

Oin tilted his head but nodded curiously and signed back, "What's going on?"

Balin sighed, "I need you to swear that you won't breathe a word of what I'm about to show you to anyone except myself and Dori, do you understand?"

This caused him to raise an eyebrow but he silently swore. Balin activated the secret door and led him into the hidden room, bringing a lantern with him and waiting until the healer was fully in the room to close the door behind him. He held up the light high enough so that Oin could see her laying there. Oin's expression turned outraged and he turned to bellow but Balin swiftly covered his mouth, shooting him a warning glare.

Although the healer's glare would set stone on fire, he signed that he would listen to Balin, but only because of their many years of friendship. Huffing out a tired sigh, Balin sank down onto the stone next to Bella, carefully settling the lantern down. He signed, "It's not what you think. I am not a body snatcher, that is beyond taboo. Here's what is going on."

Although he was exhausted, he quickly signed out what Bella had told him all those months ago at Bag End and how he had recalled her words after she had fallen. How he had taken it upon himself to smuggle her into this chamber and wait to see if there was hope or not. Of a slowly growing certainty that she wasn't lost but asleep and healing. But how fragile Fili and the rest were and how he didn't dare give them hope until she awoke for sure on the first of Spring.

As he signed, Oin's expression faded from outraged to puzzled into understanding and finally settling on just a glimmer of hope shone in his eyes as well. He signed jerkily, "What do you need me for?"

Balin sighed, relief flooding him that Oin had decided to join him, "She said that the hobbit would be weak and hungry upon waking, possibly disoriented depending on what their final memories were. I'm going to need your help and more than likely Bombur's to get her back on her feet when she wakes. I was hoping that you could look her over and tell me if there was anything I could do to aid either her healing or waking."

Oin frowned thoughtfully at that before turning to Bella and carefully examining her with a master healer's eyes. Finally he sat back on his heels, tears in his eyes. He signed, "Mahal be praised! I thought that you were insane, hoping for impossible things, grief finally taking your mind. But it appears that your words are truth. I shall have to consult my records, but I believe that you are right and her wounds are healing, even though she shows no sign of life."

Balin nodded firmly, "Check your records, it pays to be sure. However, we can tell no one of this until Spring."

Oin nodded, beaming even as a tear trickled down his face. "They wouldn't believe us anyway, not until they see it with their own eyes. Don't even speak to Bombur about this. He knows what I require to feed an invalid, he'll be able to prepare food for her with little to no notice."

Balin climbed to his feet and helped Oin up. They made their way back out to the main office, closing the door reluctantly behind them. Composing himself into his usual expression, Oin unlocked the main office door and bustled away, to double check his records and well as to pour over the healers records that they had unearthed and see if he could uncover any more information.

Balin sank down wearily behind his desk, glancing anxiously at the calendar. In a little over two weeks, they would find out the truth, one way or the other.

* * *

As the days ticked down, the time both raced and dragged. Balin was torn between anxiety and hope, so much so that even Dwalin remarked on it one night, concerned that there was something wrong with his brother. Balin had managed to convince him that it was just anxiety for spring to arrive, which it was, but it was a close thing. As they met up for tea a week before the first, Dori confided that Nori was suspicious as well, although he hadn't managed to suss out the true cause of their anxiety despite his best efforts.

The night before the first of Spring, he locked himself into his office and opened the inner door, carefully placing the lanterns around the secret room so that it would be nice and bright when the lass woke up. She had lamented many times that she didn't have a dwarf's eye sight in the dark and waking up in a strange dark room was sure to be disturbing to anyone.

As the night passed, first Oin and then Dori had joined him in his vigil. All three of them were on tenterhooks, praying to Mahal that their hopes were not in vain and the lass would wake. Nori, Dwalin, and Gloin had all been by, trying to persuade their brothers to come home and sleep, but were harshly sent away, unadmitted. The night passed quietly enough, Dori working on a dress, Oin pouring over a book of healing, and Balin reviewing the various treaties. Even with current events going on, the mountain still had to be run.

When midnight passed and nothing happened, they were disappointed but reasoned that maybe it was the dawn that was important. They took turns dozing in the one comfortable chair in the room, waiting for the dawn. When the dawn came and there was not a stir of movement, they stared at each other, grief and despair starting to creep into their eyes. Remembering Durin's Day, Balin said quietly but firmly, "Don't give up hope yet. The first of Spring is not over until midnight. There's still time." The other two nodded, but uncertainty was clear in all of their eyes.

The morning passed slowly, the ticking of the clock was nigh on unbearable. It had almost reached noon when they heard it. A quiet intake of breath followed by the tiniest rustle of movement. All of them rushed to the door, almost getting stuck in the entryway before managing to get into the other room. Her eyes were still closed and she still looked asleep and they frowned in disappointment. However, Dori gasped when he noticed the slow rise and fall of her chest. His voice was strained and the words came out slightly garbled as he forced out, "She's breathing! Oh praise Mahal!"

Oin pushed him aside and dropped to his knees, reaching over and taking her wrist to check her pulse. Her eyes snapped open at this, hazy with fear as she weakly scrambled backwards. Realizing that the last thing she probably remembered was the battle, Balin dropped to his knees on her other side and called softly, "Bella, Bella lass, it's us. You're safe. The battle's over and you're safe."

She stilled slightly, her heart hammering as she blinked rapidly, her eyes trying to focus. Finally she whispered, "Balin?"

He smiled at her, tears slipping down his face, "Aye, lass. It's all right."

She frowned and struggled to sit up, "Why are you crying? What happened?" Her frown deepened, "And why am I so weak? How long has it been since the battle?" She gasped, her eyes going wide, "The company? Is everyone all right? Oh Yavanna, where's Fili?" She craned her head and looked around desperately.

Oin grunted at her, "Settle down, lass. Everyone's fine. Now hold still so I can examine you properly."

She stilled at that, all of her senses telling her that something was wrong. She looked between the two openly weeping dwarves and the insistent healer, trying to piece together what was going on, although her head was too foggy to make much leeway. Turning her gaze to Balin, she demanded, "What is going on, Balin?"

He said quietly, his voice hoarse and overflowing with relief, "Today's the first day of Spring, Bella. We've been waiting for you."

It took several moments for that to sink in, but then her eyes widened in horror, "No, you can't mean..."

Balin nodded, "Yes. Most of the company believes you dead. I would have thought you dead as well if you hadn't told me what you did. And a good thing too. It's been four, nearly five, months since the battle. I was starting to believe that I was crazy, that I had dreamed up your words in the hope of not losing you. You are like a daughter to me, you know, although I never told you."

She looked back and forth between all of them, her face paling as she realized that they were telling the truth. Visibly gaining control of herself, she said softly, "Well, that explains at least why I feel so weak." She reached out and tapped Oin on the shoulder and waited for him to look up, knowing that she wouldn't have the volume necessary for him to hear her. She signed clumsily, her fingers stiff with disuse, "I'll be fine, it'll just take a little while to gain my strength back. Time and food. Other than that, I should be completely healed."

He just grunted and continued on with his examination anyway. Knowing that nothing she would say would dissuade him, she turned her attention back to Balin, smiling as his words finally sunk in. She admitted softly, "I have come to care for you deeply as well, and would be privileged to consider you a second father, if you would be willing to accept the role."

Dori chuckled thickly at that, "Lass, he's been beside himself for months, of course he wants to be your adad."

Balin beamed at her and nodded, his words apparently failing him. She reached out weakly and took his hand, squeezing it. Then her mind shifted and she said pleadingly, "I need to see Fili. Please, tell me that he's alive, that he survived all of that madness, that he's ok."

Balin pulled her into a gentle hug before releasing her and standing. "He's fine, Bella, although he is grieving you. But I couldn't bear to give him hope only to steal it from him should I have been wrong. I'll send for him at once."

He moved to the outer door and yanked it open, telling the runner there to fetch the crown prince at once, that it was urgent. The runner bobbed his head and took off at a brisk trot. Balin shut the door firmly behind him and barred it, not wanting any of the company to find out about Bella before Fili did. He, Dori, and Oin could all be explained away, but if the prince thought that the others had known and not told him, there would be chaos in Erebor.

* * *

Fili had been overseeing restoration when a runner trotted up to him, out of breath. Fili looked at him dully, wondering what he was needed for now. All he knew was that he wanted the dull ache to stop, how much it hurt with each breath he drew, his heart empty and broken. He just wanted Bella and he would give anything, even all of Erebor, it he could just have one more moment with her.

As soon as the runner had sufficiently caught his breath, he announced that Lord Balin needed to see him at once, on a matter of some urgency. Dismissing the runner, Fili turned the project back over to the site foreman, satisfied that everything was going well, not that he truly cared. Sighing, he made his way through the mountain to where Balin's office was.

As he walked, he became distantly aware of Erebor's song. She was lively today, her song almost giddy, as if she knew of something wonderful, some sort of surprise that the rest of them didn't. He wondered what had caused her to change from her usual contented hum of happiness that her dwarves were back. He struggled to recall what day it was, eventually working out that it was the first of Spring. His heart ached anew at that thought. Bella had made so many plans for Spring, when his mother would reach Erebor, and they could be together. He rubbed absently over his aching heart, wanting the sharp pain to subside. Every time that he thought he was coping, that he might be healing even a fraction, life found yet another way to sucker punch him and break his heart.

He reached Balin's office, only to frown when he found the door barred. He pounded on it impatiently, the runner had said it was important, and the voices on the other side hushed. There was a lot of rustling and then Balin called, "Who's there?"

Fili said shortly, his tone impatient and dull, "It's Fili. You said that you needed to see me urgently?"

Balin asked, "Is there anyone else with ye, laddie?"

Fili rolled his eyes and ground out, "No."

The door opened and Balin yanked him inside before closing the door and barring it again. Roused from his disconnect by concern for the older dwarf, Fili asked quietly, "What's wrong, Balin? Is someone after you?"

Balin shook his head, his eyes glittering oddly, a half grin struggling to not become a full one on his face. He indicated for him to take a seat at his desk and Fili did so, absently noting the mostly closed door that he hadn't even realized existed as well as a quiet murmur of voices, masculine and a softer feminine one. His heart ached at the almost familiar cadence of the female one and he abruptly shoved his grief down and focused on Balin who was shifting restlessly in his chair, almost as if he couldn't stay seated.

Putting on his best crown prince mask, he asked coolly, "You needed to speak with me?"

Balin nodded, appearing to pull himself together. "Yes lad. It's been months now since the battle." Fili stiffened but Balin carefully ignored it, "Erebor has been reclaimed and the rebuilding is moving apace. We should have space ready when the dwarves from Ered Luin start arriving."

Fili said impatiently, "I know all of this, Balin, why are you telling me this?"

Balin sighed, "You're the crown prince, Fili. We haven't spoken out of this out of respect, but you know that you have responsibilities that must be fulfilled."

Fili stiffened and growled dangerously, "You'd better not be implying what I think you're implying. Did Uncle put you up to this?" Erebor sang to him soothingly and he barely noted it, although his anger settled fractionally, the mountain sure was awake today.

Balin shook his head, "Thorin doesn't know of this. But you know that it's the truth, Fili. You need to secure Erebor's future and the line of Durin. The dwarves need to have the reassurance that things are secure and will continue. You have to marry."

Fili shot to his feet, his vision tinged red as the chair clattered to the ground behind him. He choked out, "You, dare! How dare you speak of this! I have sacrificed time and again, my whole life, for my people and my mountain. But this, no! I would rather Erebor fall to another dragon than do this! I would never betray HER that way! I will never take another!"

He stared incredulously as Balin stood, unconcerned, the pleased glint back in his eye. He said firmly, "It doesn't matter, the contract has already been drawn up. You will wed my daughter before the year is out. And you will love and cherish her or I and her entire family will know the reason why."

Now Fili was openly staring at the other dwarf, convinced that the elder dwarf had utterly lost his mind. Balin didn't have any children, let alone a daughter. He had obviously been wrapped up in his own pain for too long if he had missed the royal advisor's slow slip into madness. Balin didn't react to the confused pitying look on Fili's face, but grabbed the crown prince's arm and started towing him towards the back room.

Fili didn't bother struggling against the surprisingly strong grip. He mind was working faster than it had been in weeks, running through everything. He would play along with the situation, see who was in the other room, and when it was safe, he would escape and go quietly fetch his uncle and Dwalin. They cared deeply for Balin and would make sure that he got the care that he needed.

A soft giggle caught his attention and for some reason his heart began to race. Balin pushed the door open and pulled him into the room before releasing his arm and moving off to the side.

Fili stood there, frozen, staring in disbelief. There, right in front of him, was Bella. She was sitting on a pile of furs, her eyes bright and cheeks rosy as she laughed at some story that Dori was regaling her with. A hoarse noise ripped from his throat and he staggered forward before falling to his knees at the edge of the furs. The sound drew her attention and she turned to look, her expression lighting up when she saw him, "Fili!"

He rasped, "You're dead!" He reached out shakily to touch her, only to stop inches away, terrified that he had lost his mind entirely to grief.

Her eyes softening sympathetically, she gently captured his hand in both of hers and smiled warmly at him, "I'm alive, Fee, and I'm here, it's real. You haven't lost your mind."

Another hoarse cry was ripped from him as he pulled her into his arms, crushing her to him tightly as he wept. He didn't even notice the others leaving the room, too focused on the impossible miracle in his arms. Instead of protesting, Bella slid her arms up around his neck and started running her hands soothingly through his hair, murmuring tender reassurances and trying to ease his pain and distress.

Gradually his sobs eased, but she was still in his arms, hadn't vanished like he truly believed she would. Managing to reign in his rioting emotions enough that he could speak, he pulled back enough that he could see her, his hands tenderly framing her beautiful face, drinking her in like a man dying of thirst. He murmured, "How is this possible? You were dead, I saw you and felt you. You were cold to the touch. What miracle has brought you back to me?"

She slid her hand to the nape of his neck and tugged him forward until his forehead rested on hers. "I wasn't really dead, love. I know that it looked that way, but I really wasn't. I promise you that I'll explain everything properly later, but I'm here and alive and I'm not going to disappear. I'm sorry that you had to believe that I was. So just breathe, it's going to be all right." She inched closer to him, pressing their foreheads more firmly together. "What about you? They wouldn't tell me how badly you were hurt, just that all of the company had survived the battle."

She pulled back and started running her hands gently over him as if searching for wounds. He took her hands in his and gently brought them up, pressing kisses all over her knuckles before pressing a kiss into each of her palms. "I'm fine, love. I was injured, but nothing serious. I recovered months ago." His words trailed off as he just stared at her again, unable to believe that she was really there.

Bella abruptly giggled and rolled her eyes, murmuring, "No, I'm not going to do that."

Fili tried to frown in confusion but he was too joyful to fully manage it. "What are you talking about?"

She blushed, "It's Erebor. She wants me to kiss you. She believes that that would convince you that this is real."

Turning his attention to Erebor, he found that her song did sound like mischievous giggles. His heart feeling light, he looked at Bella and said impishly, his eyes twinkling, "You know, that's not a bad idea. Just to help convince me, you know."

Bella laughed, joy shining in her own eyes, as she tapped his nose gently, "You, sir, are a rogue. Trying to steal kisses from an innocent maiden."

He grinned at her and held up three fingers, "There are three things wrong with that statement. One, I am not just a rogue but a princely rogue. Two, it's not stealing, it's sharing." He pulled her closer, his eyes warming with wonder.

She said breathlessly, "What's the third thing?'

His smiled turned tender, "I'm not stealing a kiss from some random maiden, I'm sharing a kiss with my love, with my very heart. If she'll have me?"

She mumbled, "Well, when you put it like that." Threading her fingers in his hair, she pulled him down and pressed her lips softly to his.

* * *

Knowing that Fili would need time to come to terms with the fact that she was truly alive, Balin discreetly pulled the other two from the room, closing the door most of the way behind them for privacy but also so that they could still be respectably chaperoned. He collapsed into his chair, relief and disbelief washing over him as well as a hefty dose of exhaustion.

Oin and Dori were likewise collapsed in chairs, Dori dabbing at his eyes with his sleeves, a shocking sight for the usually overly proper dwarf and Oin hastily scribbling in a notebook, no doubt documenting everything with healer thoroughness.

Right then, there was a pounding on the door and Balin gave a weary sigh. There was always something that needed his attention, it was a never ending task, but couldn't they just let him have a few minutes to celebrate and process after months of tension and anxiety. He went to rise and Dori waved him off. His face set in a mask of total disdain, he went and unbarred the door, yanking it open and growling, "What now?"

Dwalin and Nori swept into the room, their expressions stern. Dwalin nudged the door closed behind them while Nori scowled uncharacteristically at them, "Whatever you three are up to, you need to come clean now. You're worrying us to death. This kind of behavior is not healthy. We know that you are missing and grieving Bella. By Mahal, we all are. But that doesn't mean that we're willing to lose you as well. Do you think that this is what she would want?"

Balin laughed at that and Dori actually joined in. Oin was still busy scribbling and ignored the rest of them entirely. Dwalin and Nori exchanged despairing looks, wondering what had happened to their kin. Dwalin said softly, "Brother, please. It hurts me to see you like this. Let me in, let me help you. I know that you miss her, I do too. But she wouldn't be happy to see you not caring for yourself."

Climbing to his feet, Balin grinned fondly at his younger brother. "Well, why don't we ask her ourselves, see what she thinks."

Dwalin's voice was hoarse, "Nadad, you know that she's gone. Has grief driven you utterly mad?" He turned to look at Nori for support, but the thief was standing utterly still, his whole attention focused on the barely cracked door. "Nori?"

The spymaster breathed, "It can't be."

Moving faster than thought, he was across the room and pulling the door open, looking inside before slumping to the floor, his knees losing all strength at the sight before him. For there was a weeping crown prince being carefully held by the hobbit lass that they had all thought lost. Dwalin had only been half a step behind Nori and was frozen as well, unable to process what he was seeing. Dori carefully lifted them up and hauled them back while Balin nudged the door nearly closed again.

Balin chuckled, "Put them in the chairs, it will take them a few minutes to process this. Mahal knows that I needed time."

Nori looked shell shocked and he hissed, "How is this possible. The lass was dead! We all saw it! Oin checked her, there was no life in her!"

Dwalin looked aged and he murmured, "What have you done, nadad."

Balin hit him, gently, upside the back of his head. "It wasn't black magic, nadadith. It's a hobbit thing. I don't fully understand it and I wasn't even sure if it would work. She'll have to explain it to us later. Right now, the lad needs her more than we need answers. It's a hobbit thing, I can't even begin to explain it."

Relief entered his eyes before they narrowed suspiciously, "But we buried her in stone, with all honors. How then is she here?"

Dori sniffed, "I assisted, of course. Do you really think that Nori is the discreet one of the family?"

Nori looked torn between miffed over missing this and his brother's diss, and disbelief. "Who all knew?"

Balin sighed, "The lass mentioned it, the sleep, when we were negotiating her contract. However, she said that it was a deep held hobbit secret and wanted no one else to know about it. I'd forgotten entirely about it until Dwalin asked about burial rites for her. However, she said that it was extremely rare, so I didn't want to raise anyone's hopes only to shatter their hopes should the worst be true."

Nori and Dwalin exchanged incredulous looks before Nori asked, "And how would you be knowing if she was truly dead or not? She appeared bloody dead to me! Even Oin couldn't find a trace. Or did he lie to us?"

Balin rolled his eyes, "Of course he didn't lie to you. When I brought him in on this a couple of weeks ago, he was ready to treat me as a body snatcher. No, how we knew that she wasn't dead was." He sighed, trying to find a way to say it diplomatically.

Dori growled, "When she didn't rot, then he could hope. Otherwise, she was truly gone. Don't give him grief. Do you know how heavy of a burden this was for him to carry on his own, to protect all of you, to carry that slim blade of hope and despair for months. She is his daughter in all but blood. So put aside your wounded egos and celebrate that the lass isn't so."

Nori shrank back slightly. When Dori's ire was truly roused, he was a fearsome sight indeed. However, the long night had left him weary and he subsided back in his chair muttering under his breath about ungrateful brothers who couldn't appreciate miracles even if they walloped them upside their stubborn heads. Dwalin sighed, running a hand ruefully over his head, even as a grin started creeping onto his features. "The lass surprised us at every turn during the quest, I don't know why I'm so bloody surprised now. You said that no one besides you three knew?"

Balin nodded, "Aye, nadad."

Dwalin sighed, "I wish I could be mad at you, but I understand why you did it. However, I wish that you would take care of yourself as well. You always carry the heaviest burdens alone."

Balin offered him a small smile, "It's not a burden, but a privilege, nadad. Someone has to be the gatekeeper and if that role falls to me, than so be it."

Nori had remained silent, but offered Dori a flask, who accepted it gratefully much to their surprise. Dori rolled his eyes, "Just because I happen to be discerning doesn't meant that I don't like a good nip as much as the next dwarf."

Satisfied that Dori was going to be ok, Nori asked quietly, "How are we going to deal with revealing the fact that she is actually alive."

Balin grinned at him, having actually thought that one through. "We'll say that she was gravely injured during the battle. The company allowed everyone to think that she was dead in order to keep any of their enemies from hurting her while she was weak and unable to protect herself. Now that she is well again, the truth can be revealed."

Nori nodded his appreciation. "A simple yet elegant solution. I heartily approve. Now, how are we going to tell the others without their being a riot that will blow that entire story."

Bella appeared in the doorway at that moment, Fili's arm firmly around her waist to support her. The other dwarves could see that he wasn't happy with the situation and most likely would've preferred to carry her, but she had most likely stubbornly refused. She smiled at all of them and said softly, "Is there a common room where all of you meet up, to eat and check in and plot and all those kinds of things?"

Dwalin nodded slowly, still having trouble believing that she was actually alive and breathing right in front of him, "Aye, there's the company common room where we eat and such."

"Then why don't you have them all meet there, saying that it's a matter of some importance. Nori will be able to gather all of them I bet, because there's no way that Fili is going to let me go any time soon. I'm sure that one of you must have a cloak that I can use. Then with me hooded and cloaked, we can go there and explain things to them."

The other dwarves chuckled at that and Fili simply wrapped his other arm around her. He said fervently, "I'm never letting you out of my sight again, never ever."

She just rested her head on his chest, trying to wordlessly soothe him. Nori nodded to the both of them, his eyes suspiciously moist, before slipping out of the room to go gather the others. 

Sliding her hands up around his neck, she tipped her head back so that she could see Fili's face, "Was it truly that hard on everyone? Last I saw, everyone was pretty upset with me over the whole Arkenstone debacle." Fili turned to stone around her, absolute loathing filling his expression. Fear filled her and she gently cupped his face, "Fili, what's wrong? Talk to me, you're scaring me."

He forced out, his voice a low growl, "Don't ever mention that cursed stone to me ever again. It cost me everything, if I never see it again, it will be too soon."

She ran her hand gently up and down his neck, trying to soothe him, "But it didn't, I'm right here. I shouldn't have kept that, about hobbit sleep from you. I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to hurt you so."

He scoffed incredulously, "Hurt me? Hurt me? Love, you didn't hurt me. You've just saved me. But I know that we all, that I, hurt you during the gold sickness. We don't deserve the blessing of you."

She laughed and pressed her lips gently to his, "I think that you are misremembering things. After all, I was quite unbearable on the quest, I remember that much quite clearly. As for the gold sickness, well, it was a sickness. Nothing to beat yourself up over. We have a fresh start love, let's make the most of it."

Dori cleared his throat uncomfortably, "While we're all happy that you are not dead, no more kissing until we have sorted out all the contracts and such, if you please. And there's still the adoption ceremony and everything to get through. Yes, let's just keep everything reserved, all right? I am not answering to your lady mother for infractions, if you please."

Fili groaned, dropping his face into her curls. She giggled, "I'm guessing that dwarven courting is quite formal?"

Dwalin said wryly, "I'm guessing that hobbit courting is not."

She giggled even longer at that, "I would tell you, but I think that you would all be rather scandalized, so I'll just not say."

Nori chose that moment to slip back into the room, his expression becoming intrigued. "Now what's this that would be scandalous? I'm always intrigued by such things."

She crinkled her nose at him. "I'm sure that you are, but you won't get it out of me, so just give it up. Is everyone there?"

He grinned at her, giving her a small wink. "Aye, or near enough. And I took the liberty of nipping by Dori's shop and grabbing a green cloak that looks suspiciously hobbit sized."

Dori sniffed and took it from him, carefully settling it around her shoulders, "It doesn't hurt to be prepared, it fits fairly well, although you'll need to gain a bit of weight back before it fits quite right."

Her stomach chose that moment to grumble and she sighed, "I'll need a lot of food, it's true. Is Erebor on short rations right now?"

Dwalin and Nori debated quietly as she fussed with her cloak, adjusting it just right and pulling it up so that it completely shadowed her face. "Eh, things are strict but fair, but we'll work things out, we could maybe do an extra hunt or two."

Satisfied that everything was draped as well as it could be, she said, "Are there any caves with mushrooms? I'd be glad to tell you if any of them are safe to eat or not."

Nori nodded, his eyes sparkling, "I'm sure that Bofur will be willing to tear Erebor apart to find them for you. Ready to go, milady?"

He opened the door with a flourish, but before she could even take a step, Fili scooped her up and was carefully carrying her through the hallway. She protested softly, "I can walk, Fee."

He didn't look down at her, just kept his gaze straight ahead and his throat worked hard for several minutes before he finally managed to say hoarsely, just barely above a whisper, "Allow me to do this, please. I just, I never thought, that I'd ever be so blessed again. That this, actually happened, that you're here, it's more than I ever expected. So please, just grant me this."

She relaxed into his arms, enjoying his closeness as well. She sighed softly, "I still can't believe that it's been as long as you say that it has. It feels like yesterday was the battle. It's hard for me to understand that it's been months. I should've told you about it, but I can understand why Balin didn't. And you can't be angry at him, you know. He's my adad now, which means that when we marry, it'll have to be with his blessing."

He chuckled at that, "Whatever you want, love."

They could hear loud arguing when they drew near to what Bella assumed was the company's room. Loud, irritable arguing. She shrunk a little bit in his arms and he soothed her. "It's all right, they're just cranky because Nori didn't bother telling them what was going on."

Nori smirked, "Aye, just told them all that it was an emergency and left it at that." 

She scolded half halfheartedly, "Nori!"

He shrugged, "What, it's not my fault if they panicked, they're made from stone, they should be less flappable."

She would've answered but Dwalin opened the door and motioned for them to go into the room. He muttered, "Let's not air our private business in the hall, right?"

The ones inside the room turned and started demanding answers as soon as they saw Nori, all except for one, that is. Kili was sitting in a chair, a cane next to him, staring blankly off into space. He looked tired, as if he had been battling through things for a long time and just didn't have any energy or strength left. Ignoring all of the others, Fili crossed the room and moved to stand in front of him. He called softly, "Kee, it wasn't your fault."

Kili turned his head dully towards him, "She's dead because I wasn't there to help save her. I was distracted and she died."

Fili plopped her down into his lap and Kili's arms came up reluctantly around her, his expression shocked and puzzled, "It was not your fault."

Bella pulled back her hood and added softly, "He's right you know, it wasn't your fault. Things happen, in battle." She frowned as she studied him, "It looks like you were injured as well during the battle." She frowned up at Fili, "Are you sure that it's all right for me to be on his lap?"

Kili went pale as a ghost, his eyes so wide that she thought that they might fall out of his head. The rest of the room had fallen dead silent at the sound of her voice. Then Kili buried his face in her shoulder and wept like a dwarfling, clinging to her like she was the only hope in the midst of a storm. Gently stroking Kili's hair, she met Balin's eyes over Kili's head and said, "You'd better explain, adad, go ahead and tell them everything. I give you my permission."

So Balin started explaining all about what had happened, starting with her request to alter the contract all the way up to when she had woke up that morning. It was shocking and none of the dwarves spoke, too busy staring at her like she had been brought back from the dead, which in a way, she had. 

Bella had never seen the company so silent, hanging onto Balin's every word. After he finished, there was silence for several moments and then they all started talking at once. It took over an hour to straighten everything out and by the end, Bella found herself drooping with exhaustion. She cuddled deeper into Fili's embrace, Fili having reclaimed her from Kili at one point.

Cradling her closer, Fili said quietly, "Let's finish this up another time. Right now, we need to figure out where she can rest. Even though she's awake, she's still healing, she needs sleep."

She murmured sleepily, "I'm all right, I'm not sleeping. Just resting my eyes."

He chuckled quietly and dropped a kiss on her head, "You just go ahead and rest. We've got this."

She mumbled, her eyes sliding shut, "Mkay, love. Just for a minute." 

In moments, her breathing evened out and he knew that she was asleep. As the rest of them quickly sorted out arrangements for her living quarters, Fili just held her close and thanked the valar for the blessing of having her in his arms once again. Now, everything was finally all right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a few tears. But at least she wasn't truly dead this time, right?
> 
> Praying for strength, hope, and healing. We are strong together!!


	13. With Silken Banners Return to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kili/Bella
> 
> So, you know that scene in "Return of the King" where it's Aragorn's coronation and he thinks that Arwen has sailed to the Undying Lands and then there's the touching reunion?
> 
> Yeah, for some reason Kili and Bella insisted that they could do the scene better, lol. I don't know if it's better, per se, but I had fun writing it. 
> 
> Enjoy!

They had fallen, all of the line of Durin had fallen in that final battle. The golden prince, her laughing dark haired heart, and then the king who held their hopes for a better life, a better Erebor. She had done her best, but been utterly unable to save them. All she could do in the end was hold the king's hand as he slipped away, to let him know in his final moments that he wasn't alone. 

When his hand went limp on hers, she carefully arranged his hands and then covered him with his cloak, so that he looked like he was merely sleeping. Ignoring her tears that slipped silently down her face, she saw that the battle was nearly over, especially since both Azog and Bolg had been defeated. Although Thorin had apologized to her, none of the others knew about his forgiveness. There was no place for her here, not anymore.

Wrapping her coat a little bit tighter around herself, she turned and headed towards Mirkwood. Erebor had been reclaimed and the Arkenstone relocated, her contract had been fulfilled. And she knew that Balin, if he survived, would do the honorable thing and make sure that her share of the treasure was given to the men of Dale. It was time for her to return to the Shire. She should've never aspired to be more than she was or want more than she had.

* * *

Seven Months later

Bella moved slowly through the hallways of Rivendell, distantly enjoying the nice day. It had been almost two months since she'd shown up half dead on Elrond's doorstep. At that point, she had barely remembered her own name, let alone the fact that she was trying to get back to the Shire. Elrond had been horrified at her condition, taking her in and most likely saving her life. Strike that, he had saved her life, no likely about it. She'd been in, rough, shape, to put it lightly.

When her wits finally stopped wandering and her strength had returned slightly, Elrond finally broached the subject of what had happened. And there, alone in the healing halls, she finally broke down and grieved as she shared about the journey and it's disastrous conclusion. Understanding her pain, he offered her sanctuary in Rivendell for as long as she wanted. Broken and unable to face returning to the Shire, the place where she'd met 'him', she gratefully accepted his offer.

Since they'd departed the first time, Arwen had returned to Rivendell. Elrond's daughter had been a large part of her healing. She had made sure that Bella had a proper wardrobe and access to all of their libraries. And somehow, Arwen could always tell when she was overwhelmed or hurting and would take her for long walks alone where Bella could talk and share about those that she had loved and lost or just weep privately, allowing her pain to transform from a sharp cutting pain to a duller, but more manageable ache.

It had taken time, but she was finally feeling like she was starting to get her feet back under her. Sighing, Bella glanced at the blue sky. As lovely as her time here had been, she knew that she couldn't remain cocooned her forever. She needed to start moving forward, to start doing something with her life. Otherwise, she would grieve herself to death. Now, she just had to figure out what it was that she wanted.

It was at that moment that Arwen found her. Bella offered the dark haired elf maid a smile, the act no longer hurting like it once had. Shifting her melancholy aside, Bella asked brightly, "Arwen, what adventures do you have for me today?"

Instead of the normally mischievous grin that she would've gotten from Arwen, the elf maid seemed unusually solemn. She said softly, "Ada requests that I bring you to his study."

Wondering what in the world Elrond needed to see her for that would cause Arwen concern, Bella rapidly flicked mentally over the past few days and couldn't find anything that would cause concern. So she shrugged and offered Arwen a bright smile, whatever it was she would deal with it. "I suppose that we'd better not keep him waiting then. I'm sure that he has much better things to do than wait for a wayward hobbit."

Arwen knelt in front of her and took her hands, her eyes serious, "Don't ever believe that you are an imposition, Bella. You are a dear friend and always welcome here in Rivendell. You are also one of the bravest people I have ever had the honor of meeting. Don't discredit yourself so."

Feeling her heart warm from it's normally icy state, Bella smiled gently back. "Thank you, you've become dear to me as well. Still, we'd better not keep your father waiting, it must be important if he sent you to fetch me personally."

Arwen sighed and straightened, her expression turning odd again, "It is something strange. Still, it's best if Ada tells you himself. Tell me, how is your story coming?"

A few weeks before, when Arwen had caught her sobbing in a small alcove, she suggested that instead of trying to move on, why didn't she write down the story of the quest and her dwarves. Bella had been shocked at the suggestion but heard herself distantly agreeing that it was worth a shot. Shrugging, she admitted quietly, "I've gathered everything together, but I'm scared to start. That it would somehow all become real in a way that I can't escape."

Arwen kindly didn't say anything but moved the conversation into a different channel. It only took a few minutes to reach Elrond's study and Arwen tapped lightly on the door before entering. 

Elrond rose when he saw them, smiling warmly at them, "Ah, Mistress Bella, Arwen found you quickly."

Bella smiled back, trying to hide the tension in her posture, "My lord. Today was one of my wandering days, so I was not busy with any tasks. You needed to see me?"

Elrond sighed, his expression becoming serious and Bella couldn't help but worry what would cause not one but two of those that she considered friends such concern. Picking up a piece of paper, he moved around the desk and stood right in front of her. He asked quietly, "Mistress Bella, I do not wish to cause you distress but I must ask. Are you certain of how things ended for the quest?"

Devastation swept through her at the reminder that once again, her world was gone. Still, she knew that he wouldn't ask idly. Casting her mind back over the final few days, she ignored the grief ripping through her. Finally, she nodded and spoke quietly, her voice hoarse with the screams of grief that she refused to voice, "Yes, the line of Durin fell that day, although they managed to take down Azog and Bolg as well. Arda should know peace for years because of their sacrifice."

Elrond took a deep breath, "I don't believe that you lie to me, but your version of events might be mistaken. I received this today, an invitation."

He reluctantly held out the piece of parchment to her, not wanting to cause her more pain. She took it, pleased that her hands only trembled slightly before she got them back under control. The first thing that she noticed was that it was in Ori's hand. He always did have a very distinctive style and she was pleased to see that he was still getting to use his gift. It was only then that she focused on the words, her knees going weak as she read them.

Elrond moved as if to steady her and she shook her head, willing some starch into her knees. Taking a deep breath, she carefully read the message again. It read: To Lord Elrond of Rivendell. You are invited by Thorin Oakenshield and his heirs to the Coronation of Thorin on...

She skimmed a third time, noting that the date was only a month off. But that wasn't what had her riveted. No, it said Thorin Oakenshield and heirs. Heirs. Plural. They had survived? But how? She had seen them die, how then did they still draw breath. She raised a confused gaze to him, "How is this possible?"

He frowned, "I don't know. Do you want me to write them? To inform them of your safety?"

She took a shuddering breath, trying to calm down her mind enough to figure out a reasonable course of action. Arwen and Elrond exchanged concerned glances but remained silent while she thought. Finally, she asked, "Are you going to attend?"

He nodded, "I think that it's better if I do. To show my support of them."

She nodded firmly, her eyes suddenly clear and present, "Don't send word. I parted with them on bad terms, although Thorin did forgive me in the end. If I may, milord, I will accompany you myself to Erebor and see the truth of the matter. I would see them again. But I don't want to risk their ill will on you if they still are against me."

Elrond straightened, "If they still bear you ill will, they are not worthy of the crown. Be in my party and be welcome. Arwen will make sure that you have whatever you need for the journey. We'll leave in a week's time. In the meantime, I will write back and accept the invitation."

She nodded, already turning towards the door, her movements purposeful. "Thank you, milord. If you'll excuse me, I have errands that I must tend to."

* * *

Morning of the Coronation

Fili slipped into Kili's room to find him staring blankly at his ceremonial garb. He called softly, "Kee."

Kili looked at him, his eyes dark and mournful. He whispered, "It's been eight months since I last saw her. This isn't how it's supposed to be. She was supposed to be here with us, with me."

Fili just pulled him into a wordless hug, trying to comfort him. After several moments, he pulled back enough that he could hold Kili's shoulders, his expression firm, "Don't give up hope, nadad. She was never found on the battlefield. She's probably in the Shire right now, thinking us all dead. After today, you're free to go and hunt her down, to show her that she's wrong and to beg her to forgive us for our actions."

Kili's face grew darker at the memories of that time, "But there's been no sign of her in the Shire, where could she possibly be? And what if she wants nothing to do with us?"

Fili grinned at him, his mustache swinging from the movement, "Then you'll just have to be your normal charming self that she adores and woo her back to you. Now remember, public self today, don't let anyone see you hurting. We need to present a strong front today, to all the people of Arda."

Kili nodded, his expression filled with determination, "Right, just need to make it through today, then I can go hunt her down."

Neither of them mentioned the fact that she might've died and they'd never find out, never find her body. Instead, Kili just quickly changed and then Fili helped him with his hair. Without consulting with him, he already knew what Kili would say, he carefully wove in the braid that read craft wed. Until they found Bella, or even if they never found her, Kili would never have another. It was best to keep those away whom thought they could snag him.

Once he was done, he squeezed Kili's shoulder sympathetically and made his way to join Thorin, Kili hot on his heels. They made their way down to the company common room to find all of the company assembled there, eating breakfast. They quickly filled their plates while Fili took a discreet glance at Thorin. It had taken a long time for his uncle to recover from all of his wounds and he still had to use a cane some days to get around. However, it seemed to be one of his better days, his expression alert, although he was solemn today as well. He had told them that he'd spoken briefly with Bella before passing out and that the hobbit lass seemed to be all right, but no one had seen her after that. He knew that it weighed heavily on his uncle at times, but Thorin had been inches away from death and there was nothing he could've done as he was literally unconscious.

He'd keep a close eye on his uncle throughout the day as well as his brother and knew that their mother would be doing the same. Sitting down, he dug heartily into is breakfast. He'd need all his strength to make it through this day.

* * *

They day drug on, although Kili did his best to keep his facade up and not let his attention wander. Since he didn't get any reproving looks from his mother, he assumed that he was at least outwardly successful. He managed to get through the actually coronation easily, tuning it mostly out while planning what he would say to Bella when he found her. However, his composure was hard pressed today, every inch of him restless. 

He had been surprised when Erebor had greeted one of the groups earlier, Elrond's group, Nori had murmured to Thorin. She hadn't greeted any of the other groups, so it made him curious about what had drawn her attention. Still, he kept from staring at them while the ceremony was going on. He'd be able to examine them when they came to greet Thorin.

To distract himself, he was content to make tiny faces at Tauriel to see if he could get her to break her stoic mien. She had as wide a mischievous streak as Kili, he'd come to find out in the past few months. Which made her attraction to Legolas all the more incomprehensible. Then is was Elrond's turn and Fili kicked him carefully to make sure that he was paying attention.

There was a banner signifying the house of Durin in the middle of the party, although he couldn't see the person carrying it. Feeling like his nerves were on edge and his heart rate picking up slightly, although he didn't know why, he urged the banner to move. Keeping track of it out of the corner of his eye while he pretended to be interested in the Mirkwood party, he waited. Finally, it dipped to the side for the barest of moments before hiding the bearer again and he felt like he'd been sucker punched in the gut. He breathed, "Bella."

* * *

Bella 

Her stomach was tied up in knots as she re-entered Erebor for the first time since the disastrous set of circumstances that had caused her to be thrown from Erebor. She felt a gentle rumble through her soles, but barely noticed it, too busy trying not t throw up. Her heart both broke and reformed when they were ushered to their seats and she saw Fili and Kili standing tall behind and to either side of Thorin, all three of them hale and alive. They looked tired and more worn, but that was only to be expected with all the events that they'd gone through.

Thankfully the ceremony was in Westron so Bella could follow it, although she only followed it with half an ear, too busy drinking in Kili's beloved features. He looked tired, tiny lines around his eyes, although anyone who just knew him as a casual acquaintance would be fooled by his cheerful demeanor. There was a heavy burden on her beloved and she had a feeling that she knew at least part of it. She was hoping that it was because he still cared for her, that he didn't hold her actions against her. If she'd known that he was still alive, she wouldn't have left, even if he hated her she would've remained as close as possible until he was healed.

Then it was time for the newly crowned Thorin to greet the visiting dignitaries. Bella's heart was pounding in her throat, wondering how they would react when they saw her. Would they forgive her, would they explode, would they be icily courteous and just ignore her? Her hands trembled on the pole of the banner that she and Arwen had stitched specifically for Thorin's coronation, a sign of hope for his reign.

As they drew near to the dais, Bella couldn't resist the chance to peek at Kili. She moved the banner aside just enough to see him making a small teasing face at that red headed elf from Mirkwood. Whipping the banner back up, her mind whirled as she tried to make sense of things. Had he moved on already? She always knew that he was attracted to elves, had she been crazy to believe that he cared for her and would've waited for her or looked for her when her body hadn't been found after the battle?

She didn't have long to think about it though, because seconds later there was the sound of booted footsteps and then the banner was pulled gently from her hands and shoved into the bewildered grip of Fili. There, standing before her, was Kili, his expression a mixture of bewilderment and cautious hope. Unable to take a deep breath or break eye contact, she breathed, "Kili."

This seemed to break the strange stillness that had gripped him and he proceeded to scoop her up and kiss her passionately. Relief poured through her at the fact that he didn't hate her and she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back, kissing him just as fervently. The cheering finally intruded on their moment and they reluctantly parted, Bella looking up at him with dazed eyes.

Looking at her, Kili growled to Fili, "Make our excuses."

Then he swept her up and carried her out of the throne room.

And they lived happily ever after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To everyone out there that is hurting, angry, and scared tonight, I am there with you. Our world has run crazy, but I still believe in our country and most of all, I believe in the people of America. We will rise from this, a stronger and more beautiful America than we were before.
> 
> In the meantime, I hope that this little story helped you escape and unwind for a little while, to take a breather from all the stress and sorrow that we are currently experiencing.
> 
> Praying for love, hope, and communication, as well as a brighter tomorrow.
> 
> We are strong together!


	14. Fairy's Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I love playing around with the idea of Bella's fairy blood. Enjoy!  
> Slight Fili/Bella

There was a reason that Bella hadn't fought more when Gandalf said that she was a burglar. Although he didn't know all of the truth either. No, he had just counted on her natural hobbit stealth, he had no idea of her other, special, gifts. So she had kept her secrets but agreed to go, knowing that she had a better chance than most of coming out alive.

The journey to Erebor had been, interesting, to say the least. She had never anticipated so many obstacles on what should have been a straightforward trip. On the other hand, she hadn't expected to grow so fond of the dwarves either. In the unorthodox company, she had found friends first, then family and even a love, something that she had given up on years ago when none of the hobbit lads in the Shire had appealed to her.

And now here they were, on the back doorstep of Erebor. The open door loomed wide and dark behind her while the troubled faces of the company gathered in front of her. At the beginning, she had just been a stranger. A useful stranger, but not a dwarf, so there was a disconnect there. There had been some concern over the fact that she was a female, but that had been brushed aside in the face of necessity. 

But if the journey had made the company dear as kin to her, it had done the same for them. None of them wanted to send their sister/daughter/niece/cousin/love into the mountain to face down the dragon. A dragon that had decimated a dwarven kingdom in a matter of minutes, one that had been filled with hearty and fearless fighters. However, it was not greed that had driven them back to face the dragon, nor a reckless bravado that wanted to boast about facing down one of the last great wyrms of the east. No, the dwarves of Ered Luin desperately needed the resources and safety the Erebor promised, for should they fail, the race of dwarves might die out entirely.

Bella smiled at them and said softly, aware of the long corridor behind her stretching into Erebor's depths and most likely directly into the dragon's lair, "It's all right. I signed up for this, remember? No one forced me to participate in this venture, it was my choice. Besides, Gandalf was right, hobbits are gifted greatly with stealth. Just think of Mirkwood, I passed undiscovered there, didn't I?"

All of the dwarves muttered at this, especially Bifur. When she looked questioningly at Bofur, he said sharply, "Bifur says and I agree that Tharkun had no right to put you in such a position, especially as he is rarely around when we truly need his help."

She couldn't help smiling at that, "Oh, Bo, you know that he's doing something important. He wouldn't have left if he didn't think that we could handle this matter of the dragon. No, he's off doing wizardy things and much luck I wish him. We've already made it through some pretty tough scrapes, we've got this one as well."

Bofur smiled at her, but it was a pale imitation of his normal, cheerful grin. Seeing all of their mournful faces, she knew that she had to put a stop to it immediately before there was a full rebellion on her hands. She said firmly, "I'm going to go and scout around, see what the lay of the land is. I shall be back before you know it, so no more of those long faces, otherwise I'll begin to think that you lot don't trust your burglar."

Kili let out a choked chuckle at that, "It's not that we don't trust you, namad. You just seem to get into an awful lot of trouble when we don't keep a close eye on you."

She said tartly, "I'll have you know that every bit of mischief that I got into had one of you lot at the bottom of it, think about it and see if I'm not right. Now, enough stalling, I'm leaving."

Although his expression was bitter and defeated, there was also hope on Thorin's expression for the first time that she could remember seeing in quite a while. The last time had probably been when they had seen Erebor from the Carrock. Thorin nodded his reluctant acquiescence and stepped back half a step, "Very well, Mistress Baggins. We'll wait here for your return, for as long as need be. You are merely to ascertain if the beast still lives, nothing more."

She asked cheekily, "Even if the Arkenstone is just sitting there in plain sight?"

Thorin frowned at her, her making light of the situation not amusing him in the least. "If the stone is right there in plain sight, it is more likely than not a trap. If you see the stone and can retrieve it without any danger to your person, then do so. Otherwise, leave it be and get out of there."

She was startled by his words but nodded her acknowledgement. It would do no good to risk her life at this point of the game. Right now, wits were more important. With one last look at everyone, she turned and made her way into Erebor. However, she had barely made it a few yards down the tunnel when there was the sound of hurried footsteps behind her and she was whirled into strong arms. 

She didn't flinch, having half expected this. Instead, she rested her hands gently on his chest and chided lightly, "Fili."

His arms tightened even more around her and he pressed his forehead firmly to hers. His voice was hoarse as he pleaded, "Don't do this, Bella. We'll find another way, one that doesn't involve you facing a dragon alone. Please, love."

Knowing how much it must have cost him to ask this of her, she smiled softly up at him, knowing that he could see her clearly in the dimness. Reaching up, she cupped her face and ran her thumb back and forth over his cheekbone. Her proud, brave, lionhearted prince. "Dear heart, I have to do this. You know that."

She could feel his scowl, even if she couldn't see it clearly, "No treasure is worth your life!"

She murmured, "Shhh, mustn't wake sleeping dragons." She wanted to kick herself as soon as the words slipped out, why did her tongue always run away from her when she was nervous? To her relief, Fili let out a strained chuckle. Gathering her thoughts, she leaned into his embrace a little more, "I'm not doing this for treasure. I'm doing this for a home. That's worth so much more, don't you think? Everything will be ok, love. I'm the lucky number, aren't I? Think of everything that we've come through so far, we'll make it through this as well."

She felt a fine tremor run through him, but he didn't snatch her up and run as she was sure that he was tempted to. Instead, he said roughly, "Promise me that you'll come back to me."

She sighed, tracing a finger lightly over his courting braid, "Fili, you know that I can't..."

He cut her off, "I don't care. I don't care if it's true or not, just tell me that you'll come back to me."

Instead of replying, she pushed up on her toes and kissed him, pouring all of her love and feelings for him into it. For a second, he didn't respond, then he crushed her to him and kissed her back fiercely. Finally, he lifted his head up, both of them panting for air. He released her abruptly and took a step back, gritting out, "Go and be careful! If anything happens to you, I will haunt you until the end of time, you understand?"

She offered him a shaky smile, "I will do my best to come back to you. After all, didn't Gandalf tell you that hobbits are full of surprises?"

He ground out, "Go, before I can't help myself and take you away from here to somewhere safe."

She turned and slipped down the tunnel, feeling his eyes boring into her back. As she padded silently down the tunnel, she couldn't help the smile that crept onto her lips. The warmth of Fili's love and care for her warmed the parts of her heart that she'd long thought icy and untouchable. She had to admit, grudgingly, that Gandalf had been right when he'd said that an adventure was just what she needed.

Pushing that aside, she could swoon like a giddy tween over her dwarf later, she refocused on her surroundings. Over the course of the quest, she had come to a gradual realization. If she were to truly survive this quest, if she were to help them retake Erebor, she would have to tap deeply into her heritage, something that she hadn't done for years. Not since she had learned that it was something that most hobbits simply couldn't do. She chewed on her lip, uncertainty gnawing on her. There were so many what-ifs, she couldn't be sure of anything.

She shook her head, dismissing the thoughts plaguing her. It was no good making more difficulties than there might already be. Better that she see what she was actually facing before making a judgement call. Seeing a faint glow up ahead, she slowed down to a tiny crawl, her nose wrinkling at the reek of dragon. When she reached the treasury, so found herself gaping in awe. Even though she had no true use for gems and gold, the sight of the treasury was awe inspiring. She would even venture to say that the Great Smials would probably fit in their entirety in the large chamber.

Moving out onto the landing, she stared opening at the sprawling lake of gold beneath her. How in Yavanna's name was she supposed to find a single stone in all of this mess. Smaug might've been the chiefest of calamities, but he was a lousy housekeeper, that was for ever sure. What was the point of having such a vast horde if you couldn't find anything. Not only that, but the gold couldn't have been all that comfortable to sleep on, being hard and cold. 

She cocked her head sideways as she thought about that for a moment. The cold probably was not a problem, considering that Smaug most likely had an internal forge, however, that didn't make the gold any softer or the sharp edges of the gems any less sharp. She nearly groaned as she remembered that Smaug had scales and probably couldn't feel the gold and gems at all. Speaking of which...

She craned her head as she looked around for the dragon. He was supposed to be still alive, the men of Laketown had reported smoke curling from the broken gate. And the reek indicated that he was most likely still present. However, she couldn't see him venturing far from the treasury, paranoid about thieves. Still, from what the others had told her, he was supposed to be huge, so where was he?

Since there didn't seem to be any imminent danger, Bella crept down the stairs and decided to look around cautiously for the Arkenstone. If she didn't find it after a little bit, she would go back and inform the company of what the situation was. They would worry if she stayed down here for too long, thinking the worst and come clattering down with their loud dwarven boots and excessive amount of weapons. She grimaced/grinned at that thought. Given the amount of trouble they had run into on the way here, maybe they didn't carry too many weapons after all.

Moving slowly so that her steps wouldn't cause the coins to shift and clink, she frowned when she realized that the coins were warm, bordering on hot, underneath her feet. Where was that dratted dragon? She crept across the floor, examining a gem here and a gem there before setting them aside, certain that they weren't the Arkenstone.

It was only when she was close to the crest of one of the myriad hills of gold that she accidentally dislodged a goblet which in turn caused a tiny landslide of coins, showing what was under that top layer. That's when she finally got her answer. Smaug was still indeed in the treasury, buried and sleeping in his golden horde. She craned her neck trying to see exactly what color his scales were, but he chose that moment to inhale deeply and dislodged more coins, causing her to have to dart behind a column or be buried.

She was strongly tempted to slip on her handy little ring, but stopped at the last moment. No use giving away all the advantages that she had at the beginning of this encounter, better to take a chance and wait. Smaug's head rose from the coins and she huffed out a small sigh of relief from where she was crouched, although the falling coins drowned out the sound.

Red. His scales were red. What were the odds? This was exactly what she needed to see after all. Using the cover of the falling coins, she half ran, half slid down the mountain of coins until she was standing on the solid landing again, steadying herself against the rush of fear she felt at seeing the true extent of Smaug's size.  
Seemingly still half asleep, he cast about for her, his eyes narrowed while he scanned the gold around him. Then he spoke and the words grated unpleasantly against her skin, "Well, thief! I smell you. I hear your breath. I feel your air. Where are you?"  
She cleared her throat and said pleasantly, "Right here, O Smaug. I am no thief, I have merely come to see if the tales of you are true."

His head whipped around when she spoke and he narrowed in on her, astonishment shooting through him at the sight of such a tiny creature daring to address him so boldly. He sampled the air, carefully taking in her scent, "What are you, little thief? You are not an elf or a man. Nor are you a dwarf, although their scent lies heavy on you. Do they count your life so cheap, sending you in to steal from me?"

She propped her hands on her hips and sniffed at him. "How rude. I told you that I am not here to steal from you. I care not in the least for your treasure. No, I came to see the dragon that had taken Erebor from the dwarves, to see if the tales are true. I did not believe them to be so, you see."

He reared back and spread his wings wide, his voice just shy of a full roar, "And do you believe them now?"

She shrugged, fiddling with the cap of her canteen, noting the missing scale on his chest with interest. "Well, yes and no. Truly, you are one of the wickedest creatures on Middle Earth. But as a foe? No, I don't find you fearsome at all."

He dropped back to all fours and started at her incredulously before bursting into ear splitting laughter. "You? A small inconsequential creature like you actually thinks that they are a match for me, Smaug, the greatest of calamities? Although if you are trying to kill me with laughter, you will have to try harder than that, tiny thief. For you have no weapons besides that tiny knife, and you are not a wizard, you have no scent of magic around. So I ask again, what are you?"

She smiled tiredly at him, "I am your end, Smaug. I have come under hill and over hill and by water to face you. I have drowned 13 and pulled them from the water yet alive. I am she who walks unseen, the lucky number, the stinging fly. I am all of these things."

Smaug sneered, "Lovely titles, I am sure, but they still do not tell me who my supposed foe is."

Bella wrinkled her nose at him, "So impatient. Very well. I am Bella Baggins, a hobbit of the Shire. But I am more than that. For you to know the truth of your end, we must go back before you were even hatched. You see, once the mighty river had a daughter that she loved very much, whom she called Goldberry. Goldberry was fair indeed and possessed command over the water. A fair maiden she was indeed, with hair of gold and eyes as blue as the river she called home."

She glanced at Smaug and found him following intently, so continued the story, "Now, fair Goldberry lived with her mother and was content until a mysterious man named Tom Bombadil ventured into their region. Although she did her best to either drive him away or capture him, it was Tom that ended up capturing Goldberry's heart. They were wed and lived happily in the Old Forest east of the Shire, this cheerful man and his river bride."

Smaug spoke irritably, although his voice was quieter than before, "I do not know what this story has to do with bringing you here thinking that you can destroy one such as I."

She held up a finger and scolded him like she would a fauntling, "Patience, now, it will all become clear in time. Now, where was I? Oh yes, they had set up house in the Old Forest. Time passed, as time does, and they were blessed with a daughter as fair as her mother, but possessing her father's cheerful temperament as well. This lass was sheltered and adored in the Old Forest and all who knew her loved her. Now, as I said before, the Old Forest was just to the east of the Shire. Now, in the Shire lived a race of people that the big people called halflings, although their true name was hobbits. None knew where hobbits had come from, only that they had fled many centuries before from something terrible."

She fiddled with the cap of her canteen again. "Now, most hobbits are simple folk. They care nothing for the things deemed important by big folk, like royalty or riches. No, they are mostly a meek race, content to farm their land and enjoy life's simple pleasures, friends, family, and food. They refused to venture beyond the borders of the safe haven that they found after wandering so long. However, there are a couple of families that are different from the rest of these simple hobbits, the Brandybucks and the Tooks. These hobbits were lively and restless, often venturing beyond the Shire's borders in search of adventure, although they never strayed too far, because loyalty to their kin still ran deep in them."

Smaug settled more comfortably onto the gold and exclaimed, "Pah, what good is kin? They wish to divide up what is rightfully one's own and take more than their share, willing to stab one in the back as soon as look at them."

She frowned, "If that is the way of dragons, then that is sad indeed. However, that is a discussion for a different day. Now, as I was saying, the Tooks were particularly brave and bold. Often they would go and talk with Goldberry and Tom, their good cheer enjoying the visits from these hobbits so different from other creatures in Arda. It was on one of these trips that the Took lad saw Goldberry's daughter. For the lad, it was love at first sight, for never before had he seen a lass as bonnie and merry as she. However, she was a free spirit and not easily captured, even by love. The wooing was long and not without it's difficulties, but in the end, love triumphed and the pair were wed.

They lived happily and had many children, eventually disappearing once their children and children's children were grown and no longer needed them. It is said that they still live in the Old Forest near Tom and Goldberry, a merry group who love the river and land around her. Although it faded over time as the descendants married regular hobbits, the river's gift still ran in the bloodline of Tooks, especially when it was passed through the female line, from mother to daughter. And every so often, the gift crops up a little bit stronger in a Took, usually marked by hair of gold and eyes of blue and a spirit as free as Goldberry's daughter was rumored to have. But the most definite sign, of the river's gift, is the lass's ability to make water move, to have it listen to them and heed their call."

Unscrewing the cap completely, Bella summoned enough water to form a small orb floating above her palm and looked calmly at Smaug. "It was thought that the gift had died out entirely, until one day, Bella Baggins, the only child of Bungo Baggins and the wild Belladonna Took, was found playing happily in a stream, water forming merry shapes around her as she laughed and played."

Smaug inched backwards, his eyes wary, although his voice was still a sneer, "And how will this save you? What is to stop me from roasting you right here with my flame, little thief? And why should I fear your little water? I am the chiefest of calamities, the might of Erebor tried with their armies and the men of Dale with their black arrows, yet still I remain and they are gone. I have preyed upon them and they have scattered before me like mice before a cat. Why should I tremble before you, who are nothing to me?"

She called up enough water to create an orb large enough to hold in both hands, "Because, you have created your own fate. If you were but a fire drake, there is a chance that my gift would not work. For not all fire is evil, used correctly it is even a boon and a gift. However, you're actions are filled with wickedness. No longer are you a simple fire drake, but you are also filled with death and destruction, the joy you took in the wanton death and destruction have twisted and marked you. My gift of water is filled with life, all things need water to survive, which is anathema to you."

She threw the water orb with all her strength and it hit Smaug on the chest right where he was missing the scale and Smaug bugled with pain. Bella wanted to cover her ears but forced herself to stand tall, calling another orb of water to her hands. When Smaug whipped his head back around and his chest started to glow with his intent to roast her, she roared, "I will not burn! And you cannot hide from my gift, your scales and teeth and fire will not save you, water can reach ever bit of you, even your black heart. Now get out of my mountain and never come back! Or we'll end things right here, right now!" She raised the orb higher, her eyes steely as they bored into Smaug's.

To her surprise, it was Smaug's nerve that broke and he bolted from the treasury, swearing vengeance on her, the dwarves, the elves, the men of Laketown. He threatened to rain down death, fire and destruction upon all of them. As his voice started to fade in the distance, she slumped to her knees, the orb of water splashing uselessly on the stone beside her.

To her shock, moments later Fili was there, looking her over frantically and asking questions faster than she could possibly hope to answer. Grabbing his hands firmly, she said dazedly, "What are you all doing here? I'm fine, really Fee."

Kili slid up next to her, his eyes wide and awed, "When you didn't come back right away, we started moving slowly towards the treasury. Then when we heard Smaug roar, we all came to rescue you, only you didn't need rescuing after all."

Dwalin ran his hand roughly over his head, his voice filled with disbelief, "I would nae have believed it if I hadn't seen if with my own eyes. You standing there cool as ice telling Smaug a nursery tale like he was a wee pebble and him drinking up every word. The others will never believe the truth in such a tale."

Thorin stepped past Dwalin, rolling his eyes. He asked gruffly, "Are you well, Mistress Baggins?"

She nodded and offered him a shaky grin, "Yes, a little shook up, but I think that that's understandable under the circumstances."

His gaze turned intent, "Did you find the Arkenstone?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes, "In case you forgot, the whole point of getting that stone was to raise an army to get rid of Smaug. Well, Smaug is gone now, so you don't need the stone right this minute." She nodded at the treasury, "I wouldn't take anything from that pile right now, anyway. Who knows what sort of lingering sickness he delighted on laying down on that gold. Not to mention, you forgot to tell me that the treasury was the size of half the Shire. It will take an age and then some to find anything in there."

It was Ori that spoke up, surprising her, "But what about when Smaug returns. He fears you now, but that won't keep him away, not with his nasty temper."

Bella arranged herself more comfortably on the floor, her expression sad, "He won't be returning. He was wicked through and through, there was no saving him. He won't have made it far outside of Erebor, the water will have done its work and ended his dark heart."

Bofur (who had a knack for saying exactly the wrong thing, as evinced by that first night at Bag End) asked, "So even if he had fried you, he would've died, lass?"

Fili growled, pulling her onto his lap and tucking her in close to his heart. She just laughed tiredly at that, "Yes, Bofur. However, I figured that it was better should there not be a large, dead dragon smelling up Erebor, that it was better for Smaug to meet his end outside of the mountain."

Nori knelt next to them, cautiously checking her over, "Why didn't you ever say anything about your little gift, lass? We all would've slept a bit easier knowing that you could take on old Smaugikins and win."

She yawned and leaned her head against Fili's shoulder, "There was no use raising all of your hopes for nothing. For all I knew, Smaug could be the entirely wrong kind of wyrm for my gift to work on. All dragons breathe fire, but not all are fire drakes. The odds were much better that he was a rock or earth wyrm rather than a fire. And my gift drains me terribly. I would've been able to hit him with the second orb, but then I'd be tapped out. My gift is just a shadow of what it once was when Goldberry's daughter married the brave Took lad. I mainly use it to help with the plants and growing. Now I'm exhausted, so I'm going to sleep and we can figure out the rest tomorrow."

Fili smoothed a hand gently over her hair and adjusted her head so that it rested more comfortably on his shoulder, "Rest love, you've done more than enough for today."

Drifting off, she distantly heard Thorin ordering Bofur, Dwalin, and Nori to go to the front gate and look to see if Smaug had truly fallen or not. She gave a tiny snort of amusement. When would Thorin learn that when she said she'd do/done something, it was so. Oh well, he'd learn. Eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who doesn't love Tom Bombadil and Goldberry? And yes, I totally mashed up LOTR and The Hobbit, but so what? Hope you enjoyed it :)
> 
> Praying for strength, courage, and unity.
> 
> We are strong together!


	15. Stolen Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bella/Nori  
> Post BOTFA
> 
> Warning: Unrepentant fluffiness, all the sweetness, totally self indulgent fic. 
> 
> Enjoy!

He was known as spymaster for a reason and he was damn good at his job. Ask anyone, he was always the first to know and always seemed be several steps ahead of everyone else. Everyone, that was, except for a certain, frustrating hobbit lass. Although he was a thief and she the burglar, she had proven to be the better one of the two, managing to steal his heart over the course of the quest. But of course, there was always another crisis of some sort, so he'd never had time to pull the wee lass aside and tell her the truth.

However, the quest was over and things were mostly settled, nothing that he couldn't handle in his sleep. But Bella had been impossible to pin down. Although she had been forgiven and her banishment lifted by Thorin (and didn't he owe the king some lumps for that), she was clearly becoming more and more unhappy. She was losing weight and her eyes were growing more and more distant. This was causing him great distress. She should be laughing and happy, settling into the mountain that they had all worked so hard to reclaim. But if things continued the way they were, he was terrified that he would wake one morning to a note that told him she was returning to the Shire and wanted nothing more to do with dwarrow.

He had done everything that he could think of to find out what or who was bothering her. When nothing showed up, he'd even gone so far as to ask her directly. But she had just smiled gently at him, her green eyes warm despite their exhaustion in her too thin face, and told him that it was nothing, that she was fine. He wanted to call her on her lies, but knew that it would only cause her to clam up tight. And despite his brother's accusation that he had no manners, he did know how to treat a lady properly. But oh, how his heart ached to see his One in such distress. 

And hadn't that been a shock? Some knew who their Ones were right away while some slowly grew into the knowledge. He was apparently the second type, although he knew that he'd been head over heels for the little lass since the Shire. But the knowledge that she was his One hit him while Thorin was dangling the hobbit over the battlements. It snapped him out of his gold sickness and he had almost committed regicide on the spot.

It was only Dori's firm grip on his arm that had stopped him from something that he would most likely have regretted, maybe. Still, this was much better as he could slowly irritate Thorin for years. And if she hadn't survived the battle, then neither would've Thorin or Nori. As much as he would've hated to leave Dori and Ori, he was selfish enough and realistic enough to know that he would not be a good dwarf if he'd lost his One. No, much better all around if he just took care of it himself.

It had taken three days after the battle for her to be located, three days in which he and the company slowly lost their minds. And when he had finally came across her stumbling disoriented towards the camp, covered in blood and clearly in shock, it was all he could do not to kiss her. Instead, he had scooped her up and run as fast as he could to get her the help that she needed. It had been a close call and if she had been out for even one more night, then the chances were quite high that they would've lost her. 

He shook his head firmly, reminding himself that she hadn't and they hadn't. But that didn't change the fact that she was suffering now and he couldn't do anything for her like a proper mate should. He was so worried, as a matter of fact, that he did something that he tried to avoid doing. He went to see Dori. Most thought that he avoided Dori because of his fussing, but that simply wasn't true. There were a few reasons why he avoided his nadad. First, he didn't want to bring trouble to his brother's house. His brother was strong enough to take care of himself, but the habit had been ingrained when Ori was just a pebble and it was hard to break now. The other reason was that Dori was quite perceptive. He could fool everyone else in the world except for Dori and apparently Bella. He didn't know how the lass did it, none of the others could, but she read him like a book. It made him smile, that his One had obviously studied him closely enough to pick up on his small tells.

But this was why he found himself entering Dori's tailor shop in the middle of the afternoon. He was surprised to find Dori in the middle of a huff. It took a lot to get him to the point of a huff if it didn't involve Ori and it took even longer to get him out of it at times. The mithril haired dwarf glanced up to see who had entered but simply jerked his head for him to come in before returning to whatever he was working on, muttering under his breath.

Raising an eyebrow, he sauntered to the back and made some of Dori's soothing tea before making his way back out to where Dori was working. He set the mug on the counter close enough that he could reach it before perching on the stool across from him. "What's up, nadad? Something wrong with Ori?" The term would let the other dwarf that he was being sincere and hopefully get Dori to open up with him.

Dori kept working on whatever it was he was working on, his fingers moving swiftly. "No, Ori's doing well, unless you've heard anything?"

He glanced up at Nori who shook his head. "No, nothing like that, nadad. I needed to talk to you about something else. But let's get you sorted first."

Resting the emerald garment in his lap, Dori sighed and picked up the mug, inhaling gratefully before taking a sip. "I just don't know what to do, Nori. I'm the eldest and had the most time with amad, I've even done my best to raise Ori like I know that she would've wanted. But I doubt that I will ever truly understand a dam."

Nori arched an eyebrow at this. "Having dam troubles? Are you courting someone?"

Dori sighed, "Dam troubles, yes, courting someone, no." He held up the dress for Nori to see. "This is for Bella, I wanted to do one last fitting before the party tonight. I fitted it to her just last week. I'm having to take it in yet again. She's losing weight again and there's no reason. So I asked her what was going on. She wasn't going to tell me, so I told her that we were worried about her, that she was just going to fade away and disappear. I told her," he swallowed hard. "I told her how our amad tried to hide things from us, at the end. And I begged her to tell me what was going on."

Nori felt fear clench his heart. "Is she ill? Dying?"

Dori shook his head, "According to her, no. She said that she just hasn't been hungry lately."

Nori swore before he could stop himself, but Dori just nodded. "Aye, I've never known a hobbit to not be hungry. So I asked her why. I asked if someone had been bothering her, if there was somebody we needed to take care of."

Nori immediately started running through all the places he could dispose of a dwarf where they would never be found, although he'd have the king's blessing for anyone who dared to mess with their burglar. "Who do we need to hunt down?"

Dori shook his head, slowly picking up the garment again, "No one. When I asked her that, she broke down. She started laughing and then she started crying. It's been obvious that she'd been holding it in for a long time. I did my best, but it took a while to settle her." His face was haunted and Nori knew that being helpless was one of Dori's worst nightmares. Especially when it involved family and he knew that his brother considered the hobbit lass a little sister.

"I'm sure that you did your best. Hobbits are very emotional creatures and if she'd been holding it in for a while, it was due to reach a boiling point. Did she ever tell you what that problem was?"

Dori's hand clenched into fists. "Turns out, she's in love. With a dwarf. She wouldn't tell me his name, no matter how much I coaxed. But she says that the dwarf in question doesn't care for her that way. Sees her as nothing more than a friend."

Pain roared to life and Nori couldn't breathe from it. She was in love with someone. Bella, his Bella, had given her heart away to some cad that couldn't see what a treasure she was, that she deserved to be adored, worshiped. If the dwarf in question had truly loved her and was a good dwarf, he was kidding himself, no one would ever truly be good enough for her, he would have found a way to live with it. But this, he'd give his right arm to take away her pain.

He vaguely became aware of Dori distantly calling his name. Looking up, he saw a concerned expression on Dori's face. Feeling like a dwarfling again, Nori spilled everything, all of it. Dori had even brought him a mug of strong ale at one point which he accepted gratefully. By the time he got everything out, Nori was feeling raw and vulnerable, something that he desperately hated. They sat in silence for several minutes after he finished speaking, Nori sipping at his ale and Dori finishing the last few alterations on the dress.

Finally Dori sighed and set aside the dress after folding it neatly. Then he looked at Nori, determination writ plain on his face. "Well then, there's only one thing for it."

Nori looked at him nervously, "And what would that be?"

"I know that we've never agreed on your previous profession. But now you are going to have to utilize every ounce of thieving skill you have and steal her heart. She's your One, now she just needs to know that you'll make her happy with you, happier than any other dwarf, nadad."

Nori stared at him, gob smacked, "You really think?"

Dori reached out and rested his hand on Nori's shoulder, "We may have had arguments about your profession, but I never doubted that you are one of the most honorable dwarves that I know. I was worried about you being hurt, of losing you, more than anything else."

Head reeling from all the revelations that he had endured, Nori asked, "So what do you think we should do?"

He cringed as Dori got a familiar gleam in his eyes. "Well, to start off, I think you need different clothes."

Nori resigned himself, telling himself that he was doing this for his One.

* * *

Nori circled the hall for the third time, growling under his breath. He was a spy master, for Mahal's sake, he should be able to locate one little hobbit. But despite his best efforts, nothing. He was about to throw his pride to the wind and start asking when he caught just the hem of a emerald skirt as it whisked around a corner. He grinned and hurried after it, recognizing the dress that his brother had been working on.

It was indeed his elusive quarry, but he hung back, curious as to where she was going. To his surprise, she ducked into a small alcove, one where she wouldn't be easily found or disturbed. His heart clenched at the thought that she might be trysting with someone, but after waiting for several minutes and no one showed up, he decided that she must've needed some quiet and air.

Tucking his hands into his pockets to disguise their shaking, he strolled in the alcove where she was seated, a melancholy expression on her face. His heart tightened, his lass should be smiling, not showing an expression like that. She glanced up, sliding a polite mask into place before realizing that it was him and allowing it to fall. She said tiredly, "Hello Nori, I didn't expect to see you. I thought that you would be busy gathering information or whatever it is that you do at these things."

He sat next to her on the bench, closer than was considered polite but farther away then he would've preferred. "Avoid Dori, mostly, hang around the drinks to see what the ale brings up, those sorts of things. Stuff like that."

That drew a slight smirk from her. "Mostly bragging and loud recounting of overblown deeds."

He nodded agreeably, drinking in how lovely she looked in the emerald dress, how it complimented her hair and eyes. She studied him and let out a soft sigh before examining her hands. "You look nice as well. We're matching, it almost looks like we planned this."

Nori wasn't about to tell her that he and Dori had indeed planned it, his tunic crafted from the same material as her dress. Instead he shrugged carelessly, "So what's a beautiful lass doing out here instead of dancing and having fun."

She shrugged, "I'm not feeling very merry, thought that I would get some air."

Although it took every ounce of skill he possessed, he managed to keep the jealousy from his voice as he asked, "Heart woes?"

She looked up at him, narrowing her eyes, "How did you, Dori! I knew that I shouldn't have breathed a word of it to him. And just so you know, it is NONE of your business."

He lounged insolently, disguising how tense his body was, "Oh, I think it is when I see you looking so sad and that's not even mentioning the fact that you're getting so thin that a stiff breeze would blow you away."

She climbed to her feet and he quickly matched her, planning on stopping her before she darted away. But that was not her intention as she placed balled up fists on her hips. "It's none of your business, or Dori's, or Dwalin's, Bifur's, or anyone else that you'd care to name. I'm a grown hobbit and my life is my own. And that includes my love life or lack of one. So what if the dwarf I love doesn't love me back? It's none of your business and it's not like you'd know love if it bit you on the nose."

Unable to control himself, he moved, sliding his fingers under her chin and tilting it up. He breathed, "You're wrong." Before bending down and claiming her lips with him own. 

He did his best to keep it gentle and chaste, but couldn't swallow his groan at the softness and sweetness of her lips beneath his. She seemed to melt into him for a moment before stiffening and pulling back. Her eyes blazing with fury, she brought her hand up in a sharp crack across his face while she seethed. "How dare you? Am I joke to you? It's cruel to kiss me just to try and prove some sort of convoluted twisted dwarven point."

Scrambling to try and figure out where the conversation had gone wrong, he immediately shook his head. "That's not why I kissed you."

Tears were starting to well up in her eyes, "Then why? I, I know that you're not attracted to me, so why bother to kiss me?"

He rolled his eyes, "Not attracted to you? Lass, the whole company knows that I'm sweet on you. I swear to you on Bofur's hat that I'm not lying. I'll even eat the damn thing if you think that I'm lying. I kissed you because I wanted to. But mostly..." He dropped his eyes for the briefest of moments while scraping up his courage before meeting her eyes again and forcing himself to continue. "I kissed you because I love you and it hurts me to see you sad and I damn near died of jealousy when Dori told me that you're already in love with someone. I've been trying so hard to work up the courage to ask if I could court you and because of this I lost you to someone else."

He would've kept going, but he suddenly found his arms full of hobbit lass as she wove her fingers into his beard and yanked down his mouth to hers, proceeding to kiss him thoroughly. It took him a second to process what had happened, but then his brain caught up and he wrapped his arms firmly around her waist, drawing her even closer and plundering her willing mouth. She melted into his embrace, slipping her hands from his beard up into his hair, her small fingers tangling into his braids and pulling him closer. He couldn't contain his groan at the tugging sensation and she nipped at his lower lip before reclaiming his mouth.

He didn't know for how long they kissed before he had to pull back to catch their breath. However, her skin drew him and he kissed and nipped up and down her neck while she shuddered and moaned under his ministrations. Finally, she put her hands on his chest and pushed weakly while she protested breathily, "Nori, stop. We have to stop." 

He grumbled but backed off. He would do nothing to make his One uncomfortable, no matter how her thoroughly kissed mouth and darkened eyes made him hungry to continue. "Why, ghivashele?"

She sank down on the seat as if her knees would not hold her. "Because this is not proper and I still have questions, that's why." He moved to sit right next to her and she shook her head. "No, you go sit over there. I can't think clearly when you're near me and I need to have all of my wits about me for this conversation." He expression turned smug and he looked like he was considering doing it anyway, when she added, "Please, Nori."

Cursing silently about his weakness to big emerald eyes, he sighed and moved where she indicated. He grumbled, "That's not fair."

She smirked at him, although she was still breathing harder than normal. "I think you'll survive. After all, if you're going to court me, you're going to have to get used to keeping your hands to yourself, especially around Dori."

He paled slightly and she swallowed hard. Her voice shaky, she said, "Did I misunderstand? I won't hold you to anything if that's the case."

Before she could finish speaking, he was there kneeling in front of her. "No, love, no." He took her hands in his. "You didn't misunderstand. It was just the thought of Dori overseeing our courting. You know how proper he is. I'll never get to spend any time with you." She looked at him hesitantly and he brought her hand up to his cheek, cradling it with his own. "I know that it's going to take time to prove to you that I'm sincere, but I promise you, Bella, no matter how long it takes I will prove it to you and I will love you until I enter Mahal's halls and beyond."

She ran her thumb over his cheekbone as she searched his face, before blushing and pulling her hand free. She said tartly, trying to cover up her relief, "Even if that's true, we still have things to sort out before things go any further."

He reluctantly took his seat again and she suddenly felt cold. However, she pushed it aside. She needed to focus and make sure that she wasn't about to make a big mistake, that he wasn't toying with her heart somehow, although the sincerity in his gaze made her think that he was playing for keeps this time. Pulling out a length of knotted rope to keep his fingers busy, which she recognized as a nervous tic, he said quietly, "Go ahead and ask your questions."

She worked on pulling herself together, dragging her mind away from how amazing the kiss was and how she wanted to kiss him again. The thought caused her to moisten her suddenly dry lips and he muffled a curse. But when she looked over at him, he appeared to be concentrating intensely on a complicated knot. And if that wasn't representative of her thoughts, she didn't know what was. Although she was curious, "You said that the whole company knows that you're sweet on me? So if I asked anyone, they would tell me that."

He winked at her, "Well, you might have to dig a bit, because they don't tell tales, but aye. There's been many a bet if I'd ever get up the courage to tell you. But you're a hard lass to read and none of us could tell if ya fancied anyone or not."

She snorted a laugh. "And here I thought my mooning over you was obvious to everyone." She fiddled with a lock of hair. "How long?"

He was watching her fingers closely. "How long what?"

"How long have you," she fumbled for the right words. "Been attracted to me, cared for me, wished to court me?" She blushed brightly. "I'm being scandalously forward, my papa would spin in his grave if he could hear how shamelessly I'm talking."

He offered her a lopsided grin, his expression soft. "Nothing scandalous about it and there's nothing wrong with wanting to know. As a matter of fact, I'm rather curious myself. The first time I saw you, I thought that you were the bonniest lass that I'd ever seen. Then as we traveled, the way you didn't mind Ori asking a million questions, the little bugger drives me daft sometimes, the way you laughed with the princes but kept them in line, joked with Bofur and discussed treaties with Balin, and your knowledge of teas with Dori, all of these things caught my eye. But the moment I knew that I was head over heels in love with you was when you boldly stood before three trolls and told them not to eat us because we had parasites."

The rubies that had just started fading from her cheeks came flooding back full force. "Nori! I didn't mean to, I mean, I had to do something to play for time, I never meant to."

He chuckled and put her out of her misery. "Oh, aye lass. I wasn't offended. I was impressed. I've seen many a dwarf flinch away from larger armed foes when they're without a weapon. But there you stood, as pretty as you please bundled into a sack after being roughly handled, scolding trolls on the proper way to prepare dwarf. I knew then and there that you were perfect, even if you did fuss about the oddest things sometimes."

She flushed, then looked pensive. "Really, all that time?"

He nodded, "Aye lass."

She offered him a warm smile. "I can't say that I noticed you all that much the first night. I was rather overwhelmed and between Dwalin, Fili, and Bofur, I was in a bit of a tizzy. However, when I noticed you for the first time, really noticed you, it was the night before we reached Bree. You noticed that Bifur seemed to be getting a headache. But instead of approaching him or possibly Bofur, you slipped over and whispered oh so quietly to Dori. Dori had a tea made in moments that helped head off the oncoming headache and you let him take all the credit. But I saw you and I knew then, no matter what show you put on for everyone, you cared deeply for your comrades. It made me wonder how many times you had helped me out without my noticing."

He looked at her, startled. He hadn't realized that anyone had noticed his small acts of making sure that the company was cared for. "Why didn't you say anything?"

She shrugged, "I figured that you had your reasons, even though I didn't know what they were. But I didn't know the truth of my feelings for some time. It wasn't until the goblin tunnels when I saw you look back and stay silent in order to let me escape that I knew how much I cared for you. And it took me until the elven king's dungeons for me to realize that I had fallen hopelessly, irrevocably in love with you. I knew by then that you were honorable to your core, that when you gave your word or your loyalty, it was worth mithril, that you would always put others ahead of yourself. And I knew that there was no way that you would ever want me, a simple lass swept up in a journey much too big for her. So I decided to keep my useless longing to myself. I also promised myself that if we both somehow survived Smaug, I would talk to you about my feelings. But even after the dragon, everything was so chaotic and you were so busy and vital to running Erebor, I thought better of it."

He gaped at her in disbelief and she rolled her eyes at him. "Don't even try to say that you are unworthy because your mother wasn't married to your father or because you're a thief or any other ridiculous nonsense like that. Traveling across half of Arda and fighting all the things that Thorin inevitably pissed off at us gave me a good look into everyone's character and despite what you think, you are made of pure truesilver, pure mithril."

He shook his head, "I have no idea what I've done for Mahal to bless me with you, but I'll be grateful to the end of my days. I just wish that you had said something. I'm sure that Ori has said something about Ones?"

She smiled and her dimples nearly drove rational thought out of his head. "Yes, but hobbits have Ones as well. You know that our maker was your maker's wife, right?"

He smirked, "I had forgotten that." He sobered. "When Thorin was holding you over the battlements, that's when I knew that you were my One. If it weren't for Dori, I would've killed Thorin on the spot for daring to lay hands on you. It was a close thing."

He stared unseeingly at the rope clenched in his hands. He was startled when Bella's hand slipped gently into his, he hadn't even heard her move. "Hobbits are gifted with a dream of their One when they come of age. No one knows what they'll get, it varies from hobbit to hobbit. For me, it was a phrase, and an odd one at that. I knew that whomever spoke that phrase would be my One."

He looked at her curiously, "And what was the phrase?"

She wove their fingers together, "Don't get melted. Those are my favorite lock picks and I want them back."

He jumped at her words, "But I said that to you right before you entered Erebor." She nodded and grinned. "So you went to see Smaug after realizing that I was your One?"

She giggled. "Yes, I was rather understandably shocked. I'm afraid that's why I mouthed off to him a bit. However, hobbits can reject their Ones, so I didn't know if you would care if we were Ones or not. Apparently, it takes traumatic circumstances for us to realize things."

She looked up to find that she had lost him at the news that he was her One as well as the other way around. Then he brought up their combined hands and brushed a kiss over her knuckles. He begged, "Marry me, please marry me, and I'll spend out my days making sure that you're the happiest hobbit in the land."

She chuckled and leaned forward to brush a brief kiss over his lips, tapping him gently on the nose when he tried to follow her back. "Courting first. I deserve some pampering after the frights that you've given me. I know that you were probably just keeping tabs on things, but seeing you flirt with the ambassador's daughter and some other dams made me miserable. However, I think that it shall be a brief courtship, for I find that I want you very much and having seen how precious life can be, I don't want to waste any."

He sighed but chuckled, "Ah lass, I'm going to have to be on my toes to keep up with you. And a merry chase it will be. But at least let me weave courting braids in your hair before we go and approach your family for their blessing."

She frowned at him, "My family would be appalled at my marrying a dwarf, although I don't give two figs about their approval, so I don't see why you would want it either."

He just looked at her patiently and after a few seconds, it seemed to sink in, "Oh, you mean the company."

He nodded, "You're already as dear as kin to all of them. They'll really put me through my paces, but it's only what you deserve, Bella mine."

She colored prettily at his endearment before nodding. "All right, you can braid my hair, but only if we put a courting braid in your hair as well. I want the whole mountain to know that you are mine and no one else's." She hesitated before asking, "Do male dwarves wear courting braids?"

He had already pulled a comb from one of his many pockets. "Aye lass, and I'll wear yours with pride. I'll be the envy of Erebor, I will, to have managed to snag the affections of so charming and brave a lass."

Standing, he gently pulled the pins from her bun, allowing the length to tumble free. She sighed, having worked hard to get it all contained, but knew the importance of hair to dwarves and it's significance. He started working the comb gently through her curls, "I can braid it so that it's not in your way, if that's what you're fretting about."

She glanced at him over her shoulder. "I thought that it was taboo to touch the hair of one who's not kin."

Tilting her head just back far enough for him to brush a kiss over her forehead, he quickly repositioned her so that she was looking forward again. "Aye, but we're courting now, which gives me permission to put in your courtship braid as needed. If I just so happen to tidy the rest of your hair while I'm about it, well, I'm a perfect gentleman and would never disrespect my One."

She murmured mischievously, "Especially when your very proper big brother who can lift a horse without trying will be watching over us, I'm sure."

He laughed ruefully, "There's that too."

She hummed contentedly as his fingers and the comb worked soothing through her hair. "So, tell me honestly. Is it coincidence that we have matching outfits?"

He chuckled, "Oh no, not at all. Dori told me about your conversation, although he said that you were very canny about not letting the name of the one that'd caught your eye slip. That's when I broke down and told him about you being my One. He told me that if that were the case, I would have to use all of my thieving skill to steal your heart. Then he helped me come up with a matching tunic as well as a few other suggestions. A canny one is Dori, although many miss it with his fussy ways."

She peeked up at him. "So Dori wouldn't be opposed to our match. I thought that he might object to me caring for you, that's why I never told him your name."

"Amralime, he likes you more than he likes me. If he thought he could get away with it, he would adopt you himself. Be glad that he didn't pursue it, he'd hover over you worse than Ori."

"Why, we went on the journey together, surely he knows that I can take care of myself."

"Lass, we all went on the journey with you and I can only say that it's a miracle that you didn't die on the quest. I'm fairly sure that some of the silver in Dwalin and Thorin's hair rest squarely on your dainty shoulders."

She pouted, "The trolls weren't my fault, besides, I kept you lot from getting eaten."

He started weaving a portion of her hair, "After almost getting ripped in two right in front of our very eyes. Then you got lost in the goblin tunnels."

She shrugged, "I managed to find my own way out, although I'm still miffed that Thorin had thought that I would be so willing to run out on all of you."

It was Nori's turn to shrug, deliberately relaxing his fingers from where they had involuntarily tensed. "He was rather harsh on you after the thunder battle. Not to mention that most dams would've shaved his beard right then and there. I don't think he knew what to make of you. Plus he'd just had a terrible fright thinking that half of the company had been turned into jelly."

"Surely it couldn't have looked that bad. I mean, near certain death, yeah, but we all made it."

His voice was dry, "From our view, it looked like you had been smashed between the giant and the mountain. I was certain that we had lost all of you. Between you and Ori, I thought that my heart would stop. And then you were dangling there and there were too many for me to get to you. If I hadn't been so grateful to Thorin for pulling you up, I would've given him what for for yelling at ye like that. And then I thought that you might escape, only to see you fall. My heart almost stopped so many times."

She reached back and ran her hand reassuringly up and down his arm. "After that wasn't so bad."

"No, you just had to chase our glorious leader and face down a warg that could eat you in a single bite."

She rolled her eyes, "I've told you, I wasn't thinking, my body just moved before I even realized what I was going to do."

He gave her hair a playful tug, "I know, but I'll probably never forget it, a wee lass standing so bravely before a fearsome enemy. Azog looked right baffled too, he did."

She laughed quietly, "I was baffled by it, once my brain caught up. That and I was pretty sure that I was going to die, gruesomely, very shortly."

Nori remembered his distress, seeing his lass facing the white orc and his brothers dangling desperately from Gandalf's staff. He had frozen, not knowing which way to go and when both had fallen, he had thought that his indecision had cost him both. Then he was plucked from the tree like a child by a giant eagle and his heart had broken and hoped at the same time. Because if he had lived and the others hadn't, he didn't know how he would live with that. But if the others had somehow been rescued. As they flew, he strained his eyes to see around him. He'd let out a sigh of relief when he saw his brothers perched together on an eagle. But his heart still pounded frantically until he saw a small figure huddled on an eagle right next to him. He'd yelled her name and she shakily raised a hand to wave at him, keeping her face buried in the eagle's feathers. His heart, which had been in his throat, settled back into it's proper place and the pounding had eased slightly, although he knew that it would take time for it to believe that they'd all managed to survive.

Then there was Mirkwood and the giant spiders, although somehow she had been the only one to escape the spiders at that point. Then the weeks in the dungeon, seeing her get paler and paler. Not to mention the crazy barrel ride down the river, after which she decided it was a good time to mention that she didn't know how to swim. That had shaved a few years off his life right then. Then there was the oily advances of the master and Alfrid. Oh, and she entered the lair of a fire breathing dragon and decided that it would be a good idea to converse with it. Frowning, he secured the braid with his bead and then turned her to face him.

He muttered, "Upon further thought, it was indeed a Mahal blessed miracle that you did not die and I'm not going to let you out of my sight. Maybe even tie you to me somehow." Before she could protest, he swooped down and claimed her lips in a heated kiss. This time she melted fully into it, allowing her arms to steal up around his neck and tug him closer. She sighed contentedly and he used that to deepen the kiss. However, before his hands could start exploring the willing hobbit before him, his brain foggily noted the sound of footsteps coming closer. Noting their familiar cadence, he groaned before jerking back and spinning her back around.

She said startled, "Nori, what?"

He murmured, "Shush, love. Dori and Ori are coming this way, undoubtedly looking for us. If you want to see me again anytime soon, we have to get ourselves under control."

She ordered, "Braid my hair." Reaching into a hidden pocket, she pulled out a small mirror and quickly fixed her appearance, although she couldn't do much to fix her kiss swollen lips, but she quickly slid on some gloss in a neutral color that would draw attention away from them. Taking deep breaths, she calmed herself, the blush in her cheeks dying back. Slipping it back into her pocket, she heard the footsteps that Nori was talking about. Raising her voice ever so slightly, she said firmly, just the barest trace of laughter in her voice for Nori to hear. "You need to fix it so that it doesn't come undone while I'm dancing. Hobbit hair is notoriously difficult. Also, I do not want pointy hair like yours. Just a pretty braid, if you please."

Nori gave a gentle tug on her hair in admonishment for her teasing when they heard Dori's voice, "Bella, is that you?"

Turning and winking slyly at Nori, she said sweetly, "I'm here, Dori."

The footsteps moved quicker and both Dori and Ori were there, looking slightly combative for whatever dwarf would steal away with their sister without seeking their permission first. The shock on their faces had her biting back a giggle, but she quickly rearranged her face. "Dori, Ori. Nori was helping me to fix my hair. Were you looking for me for some reason?"

Dori recovered quickly, nodding approvingly at Nori. "You were rather upset earlier, I just wanted to check on you. And Ori said that he hasn't seen you for a few days, so he decided to tag along as well. What are you doing hiding out here instead of dancing?"

"I'm sorry, Ori. I've had a lot on my mind lately. I just needed a moment, Dori. It was rather hot in there and I just needed a moment to compose myself. But as you can see, Nori was keeping an eye out for me."  
Dori nodded, absently signing a different suggestion for her hair to Nori. He said warmly, "Nori's a good dwarf. He'll always have your back, no matter what."

Catching on to Dori's scheme, Bella had to bite back a smile. Turning to hand Nori one of the jeweled pins that he had removed, she discreetly signed to him a wager to see how long it took for his brothers and the rest of the company to notice her braid.

His eyes lit up and he signed, "Terms?"

She chewed on her lip in thought before noting his eyes hungrily following the motion. She then offered him the slightest of smirks, making his heart race and blood boil. "No interference or drawing attention to the braid. If they notice before the end of the night, you get a good night kiss after you walk me to my room, no witnesses."

His eyes widened before he frowned and she cheekily handed him another pin. "And if they don't notice?"

"No kiss." He started to pout but she continued, "However, I am not entirely mean, so I'll dance the final dance with you."

He sighed and accepted her terms, knowing that he would have to keep the racier wagers until after they were wed. She carefully schooled her features and turned her attention back to where Dori was still extolling Nori's qualities to her. She smiled at him, warm with just a hint of tiredness and said mildly, "You're such a good brother, Dori. I really appreciate your listening to me earlier as well as this lovely dress. Did you make Nori's tunic as well?"

This flustered the dwarf but he quickly regained his composure. "Yes, I did. I thought that the color would compliment his coloring, not many dwarves have coloring like he does. Speaking of earlier, are you any better?"

She sighed deeply, propping her hand on her chin, "It will either work out or it won't. It's just one of those things."

Dori glanced at Nori, his eyes hard, but Nori just shrugged and kept his attention on Bella's hair, making sure to get it just so. Ori piped up next, "I've missed you in the library. When are you going to come back and help me out?"

She had to change her shudder of suppressed laughter into a shrug, knowing that he wanted to figure out what dwarf she had her eye on. "I've been rather down lately, I'm sorry. I'll be there tomorrow. Probably not early with this party, but I'll be there."

He smiled quietly at her. "Good, I have some new books that I've been wanting to show you."

Nori finished up and took a step back. "There, all done, that should hold up right nicely, even if you should take a twirl round the floor with Kili."

She did laugh at that. "I adore the lad, but seriously, he has more energy than skill. I don't know how Tauriel endures it." 

Dori extended a hand and she allowed him to help her up. However, he seemed more focused on her dress and fussed over it, making sure that it fell just so. She looped her arm through his and kissed his cheek, knowing that his fussing was just his way of showing that he cared. Ori gaped at them, but Dori just smiled at her and led the way back to the ballroom.

As the evening wore on, Bella and Nori were having great fun with their wager. Bella was lively, dancing the dances were they switched partners rapidly but making sure that she didn't participate in any of the one on one dances, especially with any of the company. Nori, under Dori's watchful eye, played the part of doting suitor trying to catch her eye. Whenever she took a breather, he would be there with a tidbit or a drink for her.

Bella had the most fun with that, as she faked several emotions throughout their encounters. One time she was shy, another she was giggly, then she was distant. She had been hoping for sad with that one, but she was too happy entirely and so couldn't quite manage to pull it off. During one dance she overheard something of interest and made sure to search out Nori immediately after the dance, passing it on.

He had to disappear for several dances to deal with it, but then suddenly he was back again. She had been standing on the sidelines watching Kili haul Tauriel around the floor, that boy seriously needed to learn some restraint before he gave his partner whiplash, when she was grabbed and whirled into the dance. She looked up to give the person the rough edge of her tongue and possibly the flat of her hand as well, only to find Nori laughing down at her. She grumbled but allowed him to whisk her fully into the dancers.

Keeping a disgruntled expression on her face, she murmured, "All handled then?"

He rolled his eyes, "A dwarfling has more cunning and discretion then those two idiots, it was veritable child's play, love."

She couldn't help the tiny grin that crooked her lips, "It doesn't help that you're a genius in your own way, dear heart. Any rumors about us?"

He shook his head, "Plenty of rumbles of concern about you and Dori and Ori are driving me near daft to find out who you have your eye on. That's not fair is it?" He spun her away and then spun her back in as the dance called for and she giggled, "And you don't care for my pain at all, do you, you heartless wench?"

She brushed her hand teasingly along his arm, peeking up at him through her eyelashes, "Oh course I'm a heartless wench, you stole mine ages ago, o clever thief." 

He found his eyes softening, "Nay, I am a terrible thief, because I tried to steal my heart back, but managed to steal one much more valuable. So by one standard I am an awful thief and by the other, I am most successful indeed."

Her expression suddenly schooled itself into the neutral friendliness that she had shown everyone of late and murmured, "Fix your expression, Dori's heading this way."

Nori's expression instantly morphed into his charming rogue expression, but before he could reply, Dori cut smoothly in, ignoring his brother's disgruntled expression. Dori was naturally skillful dancer and they made three circuits of the floor before he spoke. Finally he said, "You're not fooling anyone, you know."

She looked up at him curiously, "What do you mean?"

He looked down at her, "You're in love with Nori, why didn't you just tell me that earlier?"

She sighed and glanced away before meeting his eyes again, "I didn't think that you would approve of a hobbit lass for your brother. How can you tell?"

Pleased that she wasn't about to deny it, he said soothingly, "You glow around him, like you're lit from the inside with glow rocks. It's clear to see that you think that the sun and moon sets in his eyes."

She smiled crookedly, her eyes tender, "That's the truth of it, it is. I couldn't help it, he's just so wonderful. As wonderful as he is aggravating."

Dori let out a small chuckle. "It's good to know that you aren't totally love addled, lass. I wouldn't know what to do with a soppy female on my hands."

She looked at him speculatively, "How do you think that Nori would react to a clingy needy soppy female?"

Dori threw his head back and actually chortled, "I would pay good money to actually see that." They did another turn of the room before he was finally able to get himself back under control. He studied her carefully, trying to judge what her reaction would be to his next words, "So, would you be willing to give him a chance?"

Unable to keep her happiness at bay and her loss would be a win anyway, she turned her head just enough that he could see her braid. She thought that he would scold her for leading them on or the impropriety of not discussing it with them first, but a warm smile crossed his face. "So that's what the scamp was doing with your hair and why you two have been dancing around each other all evening. A wager of some sort, I suppose."

She smiled up at him, "Yes, a small one. If you all didn't notice, I would dance the final dance with him. If you did, we would share our happy news with the group immediately."

He frowned at that, "And why wouldn't you want to share your happy news."

She laughed lightly, "I love all of you to pieces, but you lot are nosy and inquisitive and very helpful. Sometimes when a relationship is new, it's something precious to treasure just between the two of them. But I've decided that I don't care after all and that I want you all to share our joy with us."

He grinned ruefully at her explanation, "It's only because we care about you, lass. We just want to see you happy."

She smiled up at him, "I am happy, happier than I ever thought that I could be, especially earlier. Let's go tell them now."

He nodded at her and they slowly made their way off the dance floor.

* * *

Nori watched impatiently on the sidelines as his brother whisked his lass around the floor expertly. They looked like they were having a very serious discussion until Dori threw his head back and laughed heartily. It was all that Nori could do not to stare at him. He'd never thought he'd ever seen his brother laugh in so carefree of a manner. Then they were smiling at each other, then Dori frowned. It was driving Nori crazy wanting to hear what they were saying. He was tempted to grab a dam and dance so he could get close enough to hear, but the only dam that he wanted to dance with was Bella.

Suddenly they were making their way off the dance floor directly towards them. He started to panic, not knowing if he should hold his ground or disappear into the crowd. He dithered for a moment until he met Bella's eyes. They were so warm and filled with love that he knew that he wouldn't be able to move, even should another dragon appear and threaten to eat him whole.

When they reached Nori, Dori let her go and she moved over and took his hand, weaving her fingers with his. She leaned in close to him and whispered, "He knows, he saw the braid. However, don't say anything about the kiss."

He raised an eyebrow, silently asking why not.

She squeezed his hand and murmured, "Do you really think that you'll get to claim your prize once your brother knows what the prize is?"

His eyes widened slightly, he hadn't thought of that, "Good point, so what did you say that it was?"

"That we'd tell them immediately about us instead of waiting a few days like we'd planned."

Nori nodded, appreciating the fact that his lass was so clever. Clearing his throat, he said loudly enough for Dori to hear, "You knew that they'd have to know sooner or later and they're good dwarves, they'll be happy for us."

She smiled up at him and started tugging him through the crowd, "Oh, I know that they will, they're nosy and overprotective, but they really just do want our happiness. That's where we're heading now, to tell them the news."

He let out a sigh of relief and pulled his own braid forward so that it was more obvious. It had been painful to see her dance with all of the dwarves and not have it readily seen that she was his. He reached over and pulled her braid more prominently forward as well and murmured, "That's better."

Instead of calling him on his possessiveness, she just squeezed his hand tighter and chuckled. Goodness, he loved this lass.

* * *

Bella didn't protest when he rearranged her braid so it was more visible. He had done his own first, something that pleased her greatly. It meant that he wasn't ashamed to be courting her, although he was the one that had asked to court her, so why he would be ashamed she didn't know. But on the other hand, this still felt almost unreal, like a dream that she would wake up from and be alone once again. It took all of her strength to not turn around and beg him to reassure her that this was real, merely squeezing his hand tighter.

When he squeezed her hand back, she sighed in relief. This was real, there was no way that she could've imagined this happening. He was here and she was here and soon all of their friends and family would know as well. It had been both a lousy day and a wonderful day as well. She couldn't imagine anything better and somehow it just fit her and Nori. All of these crazy wonderful things were them.

And then they were there with the company and being overwhelmed with congratulations, although the dwarves were also saying something quietly to Nori as well that had him looking with a mixture of amusement and rebellion on his face. Kili tried to pull her into a dance but she laughingly refused, causing him to pout adorably. This was her crazy family and she loved them all.

The rest of the evening passed in a merry blur until she finally had to plead exhaustion near dawn. Dori allowed Nori to walk her to her room with strict orders to not linger. As soon as they were out of sight, he wrapped his arm around her waist and tucked her into his side. She snuggled happily into his side, feeling so incredibly content that she couldn't believe it. They didn't talk, just strolled slowly towards her room, enjoying each other's presence.

As they drew closer to her room, he murmured, "You're going to be taking better care of yourself now, lass. No more not eating or sleeping, right?"

She murmured sleepily, "What do you mean?"

He pulled her fractionally closer, "Don't think that you're fooling me, amralime. You are much, much too thin. There are dark circles under your eyes, you clearly aren't sleeping. I hope that it was just uncertainty about us. Is there anything else troubling you, any worries or anyone bothering you that we should be aware of?"

She shook her head dreamily, "No, just need to be with you. I'm so relieved about everything. I never thought that I could manage to catch your eye. I'm nothing special, you know. Not brave, not overly clever, not even really that pretty. I'm just me, plain, boring, spinster mad Baggins."

Nori sighed, "Those relatives of yours sure did a number on you, didn't they, lass? You are brave, braver than any other dam that I know. For do you know of any other dams that crossed all of Arda to face down a dragon? What would you call that?"

She smirked up at him, "Foolishness? I still don't know what drew me from my home."

The twinkle in her eyes caused him to tighten his arm on her, trying to keep himself from kissing her senseless right then and there. "Fate, lass, fate. We wouldna have survived without ye."

She loved when the mountain burr crept into his voice, a tiny shiver coursing through her. She allowed huskily, "Perhaps. What about the rest?"

He offered her a heated smirk. "Minx. Still, I feel in an indulgent mood, my lass said yes to my suit today, so I'll humor you. Let's see what was next. Oh yes, not overly clever. Well, you outwitted the trolls, but they are rather dull witted, I give you that. And you strengthened relationships between the dwarves and the elves of Rivendell, but Elrond's people are fair and open minded, so that might've been a fluke. Again, you outwitted a creature that wanted to eat you this time, but he'd been stuck under the mountain for Mahal only knows how long, so maybe his brain was mush. Then you dealt with Beorn, out witted Thranduil, outsmarted Thorin, and saved us all. But most of all, you keep me guessing and on my toes. Only me brothers have ever been able to do that, lass."

She frowned at him, unable to entirely disguise the mirth dancing in her eyes, "So you want to court me because I'm smart and remind you of your brothers?"

He shivered and mock scowled at her. "Thank you very much for those mental images that I did not need, contrary hobbit. Moving on before I have to drown myself to save my sanity. Not even really that pretty." He sighed, "Now that one, I actually have to agree with."

They had reached her chambers and she pulled abruptly away from him, her happiness suddenly deflating slightly. She tried to tell herself that it didn't matter if he thought she was pretty or not, he still loved her, but she couldn't deny that it stung nevertheless. 

He allowed her to pull free but stayed right next to her, crowding her space. She took a step back and he followed her, making her frown as she took another step back. Before she could realize what was happening, he had backed her against the door. He propped his forearm on the door above her head and leaned in, creating an intimate bubble around them. "You are not very pretty. Your eyes put emeralds to shame, they shimmer with light and life, they sparkle with joy and gleam darkly when sad. And when you're upset or angry, they spark like fireworks. I can't wait to see what they look like when we kiss."

She stared at him, wide-eyed. He continued on, reaching out with his free hand and wrapped one of her curls around his blunt forefinger. "Your hair is rightly the envy of any dwarves. The curls alone are fascinating and dazzling. But the color, oh the color, copper that shines so beautifully no matter what the light, but so soft and warm unlike the metal. It glows, a living metal." His voice dropped lower, became huskier. "It is lit within by a fire and in just the right light, sunlight or lantern, when your hair catches it just right, you can see tiny threads of red fire and molten gold. Hidden treasure, only discovered through careful observation. And I've been examining very carefully."

She struggled to breathe, disbelief and hunger warring within her. His gaze dropped to her lips and a soft groan escaped him. "And your lips, ah lass, those lips are enough to drive a dwarf insane." He traced a finger over them gently, the rough callouses a startling contrast. "A pretty little pink bow that makes me lose my mind when you pout so prettily and makes my heart race when it curls up into a sly smirk. And the joy when you smile, it just takes my breath away." His voice dropped another octave, "Mahal help me, I cannot begin to count the number of watches and sleepless nights I spent wondering if they tasted as sweet as they looked."

He traced her courtship braid lightly, "You, dearest Bella, are not very pretty, you are breathtakingly beautiful beyond compare."

She said softly, her voice a husky, breathy whisper, "I think it's time to make good on our wager. After all, I did lose. And I would hate for you to never find out the answer after spending so many hours thinking about it."

He hesitated, carefully studying her face before, slowly leaning in and claiming her lips, his gentleness a direct contrast to the heated hunger in his eyes. He kissed her slowly and softly, before pulling back a few moments later.

She breathed, "Did that answer your question?"

He nodded and said hoarsely, "Sweeter than I could've ever anticipated."

She smiled and said quietly, "Good." Then she reached up and buried her fingers in his hair, pulling his lips back down to hers and kissed him heatedly. He froze for a second before his brain caught up and he kissed her back, pressing into her until she was backed completely against the door. She tugged firmly on his hair and pressed up into him, trying to get as close to him as physically possible.

He gave a pleased growl and deepened the kiss, drinking her in, although he ruthlessly kept his hands still on her waist, not letting them roam like they wished too. He finally pulled back when he couldn't put off the need to breath any longer. He rested his forehead against her as they both panted, trying to catch their breath. He breathed, "Wow."

She murmured back, "Wow."

He groaned, "I need to leave, Bella. We've only just started courting and if I don't go now, I won't have the strength to walk away."

She smiled and gently caressed his cheek. "I understand, dear heart. Go. I'll see you in the morning."

She opened the door and stepped back into the room, shutting the door softly after smiling at him. She heard him whisper, "Sweet dream, sweetest Bella."

She couldn't help the giddy smile the spread across her face as she went over and flopped down on her bed. She loved Nori and he loved her back. She tried to scowl but couldn't quite manage it. If only the sly dwarf had given her any indications. But that wasn't quite true was it? He had showed that he cared in several small ways, she had just been so caught up in her own angst that she had missed the signs. Well now, that wouldn't do at all, she had to think of a way to make it up to him. She was looking forward to it.


	16. Dancing with the Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fili/Bella  
> At Beorn's

She was holding herself together with the thinnest of threads, unwilling to break down in front of the males of the Company, otherwise known as everyone else. But it was all too much, too fast, and she couldn't hold in the despair and fear and heartbreak that she had felt. There was also outrage and amusement vying for a position, they hadn't realized that she was a lass until she'd lost her buttons in the goblin door? Really? She knew that she wasn't the most feminine lass in the world, but she was clearly a lass. She sniffled and rubbed her nose on her sleeve, all of her so incredibly grubby that it didn't even matter anymore. Of course, the Company's shock at the discovery that she was indeed female was almost worth the indignity.

However, it had left her with a group of deeply disturbed and confused dwarves. On the one hand, Thorin had finally fully welcomed her into the group, on the other, she was a lass. She didn't know why that was scandalous or had them in such a tizzy, but in a tizzy they clearly were. All of them were eyeing her warily and grumbling to each other in their growly language but at that same time were being exceedingly courteous to her. She was offered a seat near the fire, fed second (after Thorin of course, but it was just weird), even excused from night shift even though she was one of the most intact people in the company. When she tried to argue, Dwalin shut her down, kindly enough for him, that she was too inexperienced to stand watch alone and that it would be better if most of the company got what rest they could.

And the behavior didn't stop when they arrived at Beorn's. They insisted that she take the place closest to the fire, the rest of them ranged protectively around her. She had tried to protest that Thorin should be the one, considering that he was the worst injured and king to boot. He just gave her his majestic glare stare and shook his head no. Truly exhausted, she had lain down and fallen asleep, only to be woken by the booming voice of Beorn. She allowed the dwarves to try and play keep away with her, although Beorn had sussed her out rather quickly.

Although the food that he provided was delicious, she found it hard to get it past the lump in her throat. Since they'd found out that she was female, they'd barely said half a dozen words to her. As lunch was winding down and the dwarves scattering themselves about to sort out what supplies they had left, she slipped out with a quiet whisper to Balin that she needed to use the outhouse and he nodded absently.

However, as she exited the house, she had no intention of heading to the outhouse. Instead, she walked steadily away from the house until she was sprinting. She needed space, so she could cry and scream and be alone until she could recompose herself. She wasn't sure how great dwarves hearing was, but she ran until she could no longer see the house and then she ran a bit more until she reached a large, empty pasture.

Tears burned in her eyes but she didn't throw herself down and sob like she would've when she was a faunt. The world itself had taught her how dangerous that sort of self indulgence was and out here alone, even though she was on Beorn's land, she didn't dare allow her guard to fall. Instead, she paced anxiously, fear and anger dancing impatiently under her skin.

She needed to let it out, to settle her heart and mind, so she could become herself again. A wisp of memory floated past along with a snatch of song, one reminiscent of drumbeats. She swayed to it, her body moving instinctively. A dance pattern, yes, that was what she needed. She quickly sorted through the ones that she knew, discarding several as unsuitable. One that she hadn't thought of for years, since shortly after she lost her mother, the war song danced insistently at the front of her mind. She didn't know why, but it just felt right. 

Letting the familiar rhythm enter her head, she made it all of three steps before stopping, something feeling wrong. Tipping her head back, she roared her frustration at the sky. Letting her head tip back down again, for reasons that she didn't understand, she drew her sword, saluted, and started again. This felt right, felt natural, as if the sword had always been part of the dance. She let her joints go liquid and her thoughts go blank, only the steady beat of her heart keeping rhythm for her. And she danced.

* * *

Fili had noticed that the lass was struggling, so when she slipped out, he gave her a moment and then followed after her, intending to offer her a listening ear. However, as he stepped out the door just in time to see her sprinting off into the field instead of heading to the necessary like Balin had said she was. Sticking his head back inside, he said tersely, "She's running away." Before going back out and heading after her. She didn't slow or bother to look behind her, just ran as if there was a warg on her heels.

Fili wandered what, or who, she was fleeing from, his heart squeezing uncomfortably. When she finally slowed in a large pasture, breathing hard as she paced agitatedly back and forth, her eyes glimmering with tears as her fists clenched and unclenched. She froze for several seconds and then started to sway and he started forward to catch her only to stop when she took another step or two. Was she running from him? Then she tipped her head back and roared at the sky, a war cry of frustration that he would've never thought would've come from the gentle hobbit lass that he'd come to know.

However, when she pulled her sword, he went to run forward, scared that she was going to hurt herself, when Dwalin's firm grip on his arm stopped him. He turned to yell at the burly guard but Dwalin said simply, "Watch her." He had Kili's arm in his other hand.

Reluctantly, he turned back to watch her, his jaw dropping open as he noticed what she was doing. It was one of their most advanced war forms and she was sliding through it like molten silver, her movements smooth and flowing, while still sharp and precise. Dwalin grumbled, "Never saw any of that in the lass while trying to do weapons training. Stiff as a stick, she was."

The rest of the company limped up, gathering along the edge of the pasture and watching wide eyed as she moved through it, her eyes clear, focused, and distant at the same time. She moved through it like she had been born with a blade in her hand, her breath coming easily. She moved through it without missing a step, her footwork and blade work beyond reproach. Finally, she whirled to a stop, with a double stomp and a salute.

It was utterly silent and then Bofur cheered, the rest of them only a moment behind. She startled and dropped her sword, darting back several paces before seeming to register that it was just the Company. Dwalin released both of the princes and strode forward, scoping up the sword. "Never drop your weapon, lass."

She crossed her arms and raised her chin combatively, "Oh, so now you can speak with me?"

Dwalin stared at her, an eyebrow raised in confusion, "I don't understand what you're talking about."

She scoffed at that, "Since goblin town, none of you have spoken more than a handful of words to me. I'm sorry that it's so offensive that I'm a lass but it's what I am and I can't change it."

Balin held up a hand before Thorin could speak and asked quietly, "Why didn't you ever tell us that you were a lass?"

Tears welled up in her eyes and she hastily dashed them away, cursing herself for appearing weak in front of them. She said curtly, "I thought that it was obvious enough that I didn't have to say it. I mean, I know that I'm not the prettiest or most feminine lass out there, but I am a lass."

Thorin sighed, pushing his hand through his hair roughly and wincing as it pulled his bruised ribs. "It is hard for us to tell the difference with hobbits so foreign to us, especially where you are all so small and beardless. Tharkun called you Master Baggins, so we assumed that you were male. And we're not familiar enough with hobbit names to know if there is a difference between male or female. My apologies."

She shuffled her feet but refused to look away, "I'm willing to admit cultural differences about why you didn't notice that I'm female, even though I obviously am, but why did you all stop talking to me when you realized it."

Balin was the one that answered, "We have treated you poorly, lass, and it is shameful to us. We don't know how to deal with what we've done, or even what reparations we can offer you."

She looked around and studied the Company and they each nodded somberly, their expressions troubled. She said quietly, "You needed a burglar for the quest, right?" They all nodded. "Gandalf said that I was a burglar and I signed a contract saying that I agreed to serve in such a capacity, right? Without any coercion?" They nodded again. "Circumstances have not changed since I signed said contract, correct?" They all looked troubled but reluctantly nodded. "You have fed me, protected me, and kept me alive and relatively unharmed. I don't know of anything that you would owe me an apology for." A hint of sly amusement and sternness entered her voice, "Except for the fountain incident at Rivendell and the less said on that matter, the better."

To a one, they all turned beet red and she hastily smothered a chuckle. Kili said hastily, "How did you know that form?"

She stared at the dark haired prince, "What form?"

Fili tilted his head and examined her carefully, "The form that you were just doing? It's one of our most advanced weapon forms."

Dwalin rumbled, "Aye, I want to know that as well."

She frowned in confusion, "I don't know what you're talking about, that's just the war dance, not a weapons form as far as I'm aware." This didn't clarify anything to them so she turned to Ori with a huff, "I know that we've talked about hobbit dances before. This was just one of them, is all."

Ori's eyes lit up, "Oh, I remember that. You told me that different families had different dances, that there were some that were Shire wide and that some were widely specialized and meant very specific things. What was that dance? And I didn't think that hobbits used weapons in the dances."

A blush burned along the top of her cheeks and she quietly retrieved her sword that Dwalin held out to her. "They don't, I don't know why I did that, it just felt right. But that was the war song, from the Took family. It's been passed down for generations. No one even knows why it's called that, very few faunts choose to learn it anyway. Is that important for some reason?"

Balin said thoughtfully, "Is there anything odd in the Took family? Things that aren't readily apparent but told in stories?"

She giggled about that. "Everything about Tooks are odd according to other hobbits, but give me a moment." She thought deeply for a second. "Well, according to family legend, one of our ancestors married a fairy, that's why oddities sometimes pop up in our lines. Also, my great great granduncle Bullroarer Took was large enough to ride a horse and knocked a goblin chieftains head clean off with a wooden club." She shrugged, "Other than that, it's all hobbit oddities that wouldn't make sense to anyone beyond hobbits."

They muttered amongst themselves and Bella waited impatiently for them to spit out whatever it was they were thinking. Finally Dwalin growled, "Sounds like yer ancestor wasn't a fairy at all, but a dwarf. What other dances do you know?"

She propped her hands on her hips, "Dwalin, that's much too vague, I know dozens upon dozens. What are you looking for?"

Ori spoke up shyly, "It would most likely be the Took dances, probably ones that are less favorable with the staid hobbits. Traditional dances, ones that have been handed down for generations, that no one knows exactly who created anymore but are part of the inherent Took identity. How about that?"

She sighed, combing through her memory. "I can think of a dozen off hand, I suppose that you all want to see them?" They nodded and she sighed, "Let's at least do it back by the house where there's shade and places for the injured to sit. I came out here for some privacy, but I can see that that's gone for now."

Dwalin sighed, "It's not safe, even this close to Beorn's. I'm sorry lass."

Sensing that he truly was, she offered him a tiny smile, "It's all right, the dance helped calm me. Let's go."

She led, muttering the whole way about nosy dwarves and the impossibility of dwarven ancestors and the oddness of dwarves wanting to see hobbit dances. Near the house, she found a shady grove that suited her needs. Making sure that the wounded dwarves were settled comfortably and drinking a dipper of water, Bella moved to the center, drew a deep breath, and started dancing. She made it through four or five dances before complaining that it was easier with music. Bofur pulled out his pipe, which had miraculously survived all of their adventures, and they hastily worked out what songs worked for the dances. Allowing the music to move her, she ignored the dwarves and their comments.

Finally she had run through all of the dances that she had pinpointed as possibly being the ones that the dwarves might want to see. Fili brought her another dipper of water and she slowly drank it while looking at Dwalin expectantly. He nodded slowly, "Those are all fighting forms, lass, dwarven ones, although some are hand to hand combat and others are weapon forms. I'm pretty sure that your ancestor must've been a dwarf."

She shrugged, "Well, it's not entirely outside the realm of possibility that a hobbit and dwarf once married. It would explain a few things actually."

Balin asked carefully, "Would you be knowing what clan he came from, lassie?"

She rolled his eyes, "The Tooks don't even know that the fairy was a dwarf, how in the world would we know which clan it would be?"

He sighed, "That's the truth, although it would be nice to know."

She didn't like seeing the kindly dwarf so disheartened. She offered softly, "Each family has certain dances, is it possible that dwarves have the same thing in their own fashion? I mean, you said that the war dance was an advanced form, maybe you can trace it from there?"

Both Balin and Ori brightened at that, "That's a possibility. That was one of our most advanced forms." 

She rolled her eyes as Balin and Ori were off, along with Dwalin which was a bit surprising and yet not where he was a warrior and probably knew dozens of fighting forms. Fili moved over to her side and offered her a roll, which she took gratefully, her stomach grumbling. Leading her over to a seat in the shade, he asked quietly, "Are you quite all right? I understand why you needed some time and I apologize." He hesitated before adding reluctantly, "It's just, that it's not safe."

She took a large bite of the roll and rolled her eyes. "Yes, apparently you all don't hate me for being a lass, as I'd thought. You're just being silly, undoubtedly for obscure reasons that make sense to dwarves and not hobbits."

He looked startled, "Why would you think that we hated you?"

She resisted rolling her eyes again with great effort, "Because none of you would even talk to me, but were being very courteous. It was a very odd dichotomy."

He sighed, "Yet another thing to apologize for then, Mistress Baggins."

She said shortly, "Bella." He looked at her quizzically, "Call me Bella. I don't care about what happened in the past and I don't know what things are going to look like going forward, but we've been through enough that I consider us comrades and friends and I would hate to see that change."

He smiled warmly at her. "I would like that as well. Thank you, Bella. However, we do owe you our apologies for the way that we treated you sometimes. It was not honorable and we can only apologize and improve our behavior from this point."

She grinned at him, "I'm not some delicate damsel in distress, I'll have you know. I hope that you don't think that."

He grinned back at her, "I know, you've been turning the entire Company on their ear since we first started. We should be used to it by now, but you truly are remarkable."

She flushed at that, her cheeks turning a most becoming shade of pink. Thankfully, Ori called her name at that moment and she was spared having to find the words to answer him. She walked over to where the three were huddled, "Yes, Ori?"

"Do you know any partner dances from the Tooks? Most of the clan dances were meant to do with other members of the clan, so it makes sense that the clan identity would be in one of those."

Tapping her foot absently, she thought through all of the partner dances, discarding most of them as obviously hobbit in nature. She chuckled inwardly over what the dwarves would think about the partner dance depicting courting through flower picking. Undoubtedly they'd try to be kind, but she could almost see their baffled, horrified expressions. Finally, she nodded firmly, "There are three that most likely fit the criteria of what you're looking for. Let me talk to Bofur, see if we can find the right tunes. But what about the partner part?"

Dwalin said simply, "Dance what you can, lass. If anyone recognizes the form, they can jump in as they can. That work?"

She shrugged, "It's what it'll have to be. I'll talk to Bofur, give me just a minute."

She walked over to the hatted dwarf and they argued vigorously for several minutes over several different songs until they managed to hammer out songs that she said sourly would do for the moment. She muttered under her breath about teaching him proper tunes after all of this was over. He just chuckled and rolled his eyes at that.

She moved back over to the center and propped her hands on her hips and said tartly, "Any time now, if you please."

Bofur immediately launched into a tune and she moved through it, having to make an odd adjustment every now and then because of the lack of a partner. However, there was no recognition on any of them and she finished the dance alone. After she finished, Dwalin said thoughtfully, "Might be an axe form, hard to tell."

She laughed at that, "There's no way that I could do that form with an axe, Master Dwalin. I'd tip right over from the weight."

He chuckled at that, his expression easing, "I'd almost pay money to see that, lass. You'd be fearsome indeed, but look rather like a pebble playing with their adad's axe, I suspect."

She giggled at that, "It might confound the enemy long enough for someone else to take them out. You never know. However, I believe that I shall keep that method as one of last resort. Next song if you please, Bofur? And does anyone have a staff I can borrow?"

They had to make do with a long stick that one of the dwarves had used as a crutch, but it was worked well enough for the intended purposes. This had always been one of her favorite dances, the whirling twirling, clever footwork, and the rhythmic sound of the strikes and parries always got her blood racing and heart beating. Not to mention the words that went with the song, old, traditional words that just flowed out of her as she whirled through the form, her breathing steady and even as she sang.

Several of the dwarves shifted restlessly on the sidelines, wanting to join in, caught up in the majestic presence that she had, but not knowing the form and knowing that they would look right fools alongside the fierce, elegant lass. Finally she came to a halt, the stick raised in salute. The dwarves all cheered and whistled and she abruptly came back to herself, her face flushing bright red and her elegance fading away.

She stammered, "I don't know what came over me. Most improper to do such a display."

Dwalin snorted, "Nothing improper about that lass, one of the most beautiful forms I've ever seen done in my life. Put many a dwarf to shame, you would. And many more would want to court such a fierce, winsome lass."

At this, she turned fiery red and buried her face into her hands. Kili tried to figure out what she was embarrassed about, but Fili simply brought her another dipper full of water. He nudged her and said softly, "Come on, take a drink."

She pulled down her hands just enough that she could peek over her finger tips at him, "I think I'd rather just disappear, if you don't mind."

He offered her his most winsome grin, "But we'd really miss you then. After all, who would keep the rest of us out of trouble?"

Her hands dropped a little bit lower and she shot him a sardonic glance, "Is that what we're calling it? Trouble? I call it every impossible situation in all of Arda. It's like you all seem to want to find the most improbable situations just to brag that you did something so odd."

He pretended to pout, his heart warming at the tiny giggle that it drew from her. "Well, after all, we're not just dwarves, we're royal dwarves. We have to have harder challenges than just ordinary dwarves."

Her hands dropped entirely and she rolled her eyes, "Royal fools is more like it." She groused, holding out her hands, "Might as well give me the water, still have one more dance after all." Sipping slowly at the dipper, she looked over at the other dwarves, "Did they see anything conclusive? You know, this is probably a snipe hunt anyway. I doubt that my ancestor was a dwarf of any note, settling with hobbits. And wouldn't the hobbits be surprised to know that some of their most beloved dances are weapon forms. Although the Tooks would probably be downright gleeful about it." She shook her head. "Actually, no, not probably. The Tooks will be downright gleeful when they find out the truth. The rest will be scandalized though."

He leaned slightly closer to her, his voice dropping fractionally, "But what do you think of it, Bella?"

Her blush came back just a bit and she nibbled on her lower lip uncertainly. Finally she admitted rather breathlessly, "I like these dances. They always spoke to me, even as a faunt. I'm one of the few hobbits of my generation that bothered to learn them. They make me feel, alive." Shame entered her face, "Sometimes, I feel stifled in the Shire, although that is a highly unhobbitlike thing to say or feel. But it never quite felt like home." Her lips trembled and she firmed them ruthlessly, even though her next words wavered slightly, "Especially after I lost my parents. I've always been just a little bit different, you know, not like the other hobbits. If I have some dwarf blood in me, that at least explains a few things to me."

He wanted desperately to take the sadness away from her, to ease the sting of old wounds, like he had with Kili when he was bullied as a dwarfling. However, Dwalin chose that moment to come over. "That form is familiar somehow, something about it keeps niggling right at the back of my mind. You said that you had one more dance, lass?"

Her eyes widened as she remembered that there were others watching them still, that they weren't alone. Why then, had she felt such peace, such a connection with Fili that the rest of the world had just faded away. Now, that just wouldn't do at all. She started to speak, just a squeak came out, so she swallowed hard and tried again. To her relief, words actually did emerge this time, "Yes, one more." She took a deep breath, composing herself. "This may seem a bit of an odd request, but could we change the music. Not music but more of a chant you see. Rhythmic yet fast yet steady? This is the most complicated of the three."

Bofur trailed over and joined them, "What are you thinking of, lass?"

She carefully hummed the song that was most commonly associated with this dance. Dwalin and Bofur picked it up right away and even Fili hummed along. Dwalin said shortly, "That's definitely a dwarven song. No doubt about it, lass."

She sighed, "Let's get this over with then. I'm getting weary and I want to get this done with."

Dwalin and Bofur moved off to speak with the rest of them and Fili was about to follow when Bella's hand on his arm stopped him. She said shyly, "Do you have a long knife I could borrow?"

He frowned at her, already mentally running over his blades for something suitable as he asked, "What for?"

She shrugged, "Like with the dance in the pasture, it just feels right. However, instead of a single blade, this form seems to call for two. I wish I could say definitively, I could be wrong, but this just feels right."

Reaching into his coat, he pulled out a wicked looking knife, just slightly shorter than her elvish blade. "Will this work?"

She accepted it gratefully, "That's perfect, thank you. Now I just have to avoid dropping it and chopping my foot off."

He grimaced, "Please don't, Kili would never let you hear the end of it if you do."

She quirked an eyebrow, "And you'd just leave it be quietly."

He smirked at her, "I would be honor bound to defend your honor, since it is my blade that you will be using. I'll leave you to your dance." He had to drag his eyes away from her sparkling ones and forced himself to walk back over to where the rest of the company was gathered. As soon as he was out of the way, she drew her tiny sword and then nodded, indicating that she was ready.

Immediately the dwarves launched into the song, their voices deep and reverberating through the clearing. Fili shifted on the balls of his feet, feeling something stir in him restlessly. His hands fell to the hilts of his swords and he leaned forward, almost unconsciously. 

She waited for three measures of the song, her eyes closed and the swords lifted almost prayerfully, before starting. Her eyes snapped open and with a sharp cry, she moved!

Before she had even made three steps, before he knew what he was doing, he pulled his swords free and met her first blow with a resounding parry of his own. The crash of swords were loud but she didn't falter, her gaze boring into his as she kept moving. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her as he danced with her, with both music and blade. His heart soared, twirling and twining about hers, almost as if he could feel her heart beating in time with his.

The entire world faded away and it was just them, caught up in a dance that was as old as time and as fresh as a new dawn. They covered the entire clearing, neither missing as much as a beat, as if they were two halves of a whole. They danced as if they had wings, as if they were forging something delicate and bright, and yet stronger than mithril. Finally the song crescendoed and they were moving so fast that their weapons were mere blurs, but neither of them faltered of even missed by a hair.

The song ended with them saluting each other, swords at the ready and facing each other with a watchful yet proud air. In the sudden silence, Fili breathed in and out, for the count of three heartbeats. Then he dropped his swords and leapt forward, yanking her into his arms and taking her lips in a passionate kiss, one hand cradling the back of her head and the other at the small of her back, pulling her tightly into him. For a heartbeat, she hung onto her weapons before casting them aside as well, tangling her small hands into his hair and kissing him back just as fervently.

They devoured each other, the sense of rightness, completeness binding them together, sending shimmering sensations of love and hope streaming through them. He tried to pull back to gulp air only for her lips to chase his and reclaim them. They distantly heard some shouting and dismissed it as unimportant. That was, until they were doused by a bucketful of freezing water.

She shivered and buried her face into his shoulder, swaying slightly as she tried to regain her bearings. She allowed herself one deep breath in and out before turning and facing the Company, hot words on her tongue. The words died when she saw how bright red the entire Company was, although a couple of them had twinkles in their eyes as well.

She tried to step away from Fili, but he growled quietly and tightened his arms around her. Feeling a small blush creep onto her face, not that she really cared what the others thought, she rested a hand soothingly on his chest. Struggling to remember what they had been doing before she had found her soulmate in a rush of color and warmth, she asked, "So did you figure it out?"

Dwalin raised an eyebrow and she stared defiantly back at him. Balin said uncomfortably, "Figure out what, lass?"

She smirked slightly, "We were trying to figure out what clan my ancestor was from. Did you figure it out?"

The entire company blinked at that and she suppressed her laughter, so she wasn't the only one who had forgotten what they were doing. While Thorin, Balin, Dwalin, and Dori discussed the dance, Bella looked over the Company, knowing that if she looked back at the dwarf holding her, she would be lost again. She spotted the bucket in Kili's hand and scowled, "Really, Kili?"

He couldn't even meet her gaze, he was blushing so badly. Lighthearted mischievousness stole over her and she turned back and met Fili's gaze, his blue eyes boring steadily into hers. Cupping his cheek, she murmured, "Love, I think you need to remind your brother why it's a bad idea to interrupt mates in the initial stages of enlightenment."

Awe, wonder, love, and lightheartedness entered his gaze at her words. Brushing his lips gently over hers, he mumbled back, "I think you're right. Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back."

Abruptly letting her go, he lunged for Kili, only to find the dark haired prince on the move with a yelp. She giggled as he took off after Kili, no doubt threatening him with all sorts of horrible things in Khuzdul.

Nori and Ori sidled closer to her. The thief said, "I'm happy for you, lass, you and the lad both. But what's all this about mates and enlightenment?"

She tilted her head, examining them, "Do dwarves not have soul mates then?"

Understanding lit their eyes, "Aye, we do, although ours are called Ones. The only one that we'll love in our entire lives."

She smiled giddily at that, "Same for hobbits as well. I don't know how dwarves find their Ones, but a hobbit doesn't always know right off whom their soul mate is. They will be drawn to that person, of course, have a need to care for and comfort them. But the enlightenment happens when both souls are in agreement, perfect harmony, they reach out for each other and connect."

Suddenly the reality of the situation sunk in and she sunk down to the ground, her legs no longer willing to support her. "Sweet Yavanna, my mate is Fili. The crown prince to Erebor. A prince of the line of Durin and future king. Oh Yavanna, what do I do now? There's no way that this will ever work out between us."

A shout drew her attention and she looked over to see all four of the dwarves staring at her with something akin to horror, their faces pale and eyes wide. Thoroughly overwhelmed, she muttered, "Now what? Can't be that I'm a lass, already had that shock. Maybe I come from a line of villain outcast dwarves. That would be just my luck." 

Pulling her knees up to her chest, she buried her face into them, blocking out the world and trying to slow her whirling thoughts. She had only been there for a few moments when she heard shouting and she was picked up and cradled in a dwarven lap, arms wrapped securely around her. His voice was furious as he demanded something in Khuzdul. She didn't speak it, but she didn't have to, the tone making it abundantly clear what he was asking. Uncurling, she fought the need to curl into his chest and just let the world die away. She mumbled tiredly, "They didn't do anything, I just realized a few things is all. Oh, and I think that we extremely horrified your uncle, Balin, Dwalin, and Dori, just saying."

His large calloused hand gently, tenderly, lifted her chin up until her eyes met his concerned gaze. He said softly, "What's wrong, love?"

She covered his hand with hers, gently pulling it away from her face, "We can't do this, this will never work. I'm sorry, I should've never started this in the first place. I'll just go and we can forget this ever happened."

Confusion and panic flared to life in his eyes and he wrapped her gently in his arms, keeping her firmly pinned to his chest. Before he could speak, she said quietly, "We should find out what they discovered. I doubt that it's good news from the look on their faces."

He glanced over at them, his arms loosening slightly as he studied them closely. She used his distraction to slip out of his arms and stand, trying to put some distance between them. The Valar were cruel, to reveal this to her, only for it to be impossible. However, as soon as she was on her feet, he had surged to his, pulling her back into his arms. He growled again, but this time the sound was both angry and pleading. "Bella, no. Whatever you're thinking, we can work it out. I've found you and I'm never going to lose you again. You are everything, my world, my life, my love. Please, please."

She shook her head, stubbornly refusing to met his eyes. "I can't, Fili, we can't. Now, let's just talk with Thorin and get this over with. Then we can go get some sleep, I know that we're all tired and emotions are running high right now."

He slowly allowed his arms to drop, almost like he was begging her not to do this, to tell him that she was just joking. Taking a deep breath, she made her way over to where the others were standing, feeling her heart crack a little more with every step. Standing in front of them and feeling Fili's warmth at her back, she said flatly, "It looks like you've figured it out, might as well tell me who my ancestors were. Probably oath breakers of some sort, judging by the horror on your face."

Thorin looked puzzled back and forth between her and his nephew, the unhappiness plain on their faces. He signed a question to Fili and frowned at the answer that he'd received in return. Balin spoke quietly, trying to distract them, "Actually, it's quite the opposite lass. You're descended from either nobility or royalty."

She looked skeptically back and forth between them, waiting for one of them to burst out laughing at the absurdity of the statement, but none of them did. She scoffed, "You must be mistaken. How can you even know this?"

Dwalin sighed, running a hand over his head, "That's a Khazad-dum form you did, lass. Not only that, that's a high class form, one commonly done by dams as an invitation to their One for courtship."

She knew that they were saying something important, but it was going right over her head. She asked softly, "Khazad-dum?"

Balin took back over, "You would probably know it as Moria. When Durin's Bane came, the people of Khazad-dum had to flee for their lives. Most did not make it out alive and those that did were lost to the four winds. You are part of our kin that we'd thought long lost to us."

She sighed, frowning slightly, "Well, that doesn't sound so bad then. Certainly not bad enough to make you all look like I kicked your favorite cat. Unless there is something bad about it that I don't know?"

Dori blurted, "You're dwarvish royalty, lass."

She stared at him before saying bluntly, "I am a hobbit and a burglar who signed a contract, nothing more. I'm too tired to deal with this, I'm going to go get some rest. Maybe this will all have turned out to be a dream when I wake and the world will make sense again."

Whirling around, she sidestepped around Fili who was standing right behind her and made her way towards Beorn's house. She said curtly over her shoulder, "And I don't want any of you following me. I'm perfectly fine and I need some space. I'll see all of you at dinner, maybe."

Making her way into the house, she dragged her bedroll to the most secluded corner that she could find before laying down on it. Her mind was whirling but her body was mercifully exhausted, so she passed out cold shortly after she laid down.

* * *

Fili watched her go, his heart in his eyes as he watched her. When she finally disappeared from view, he turned back to his uncle. His bewilderment was clear on his face. He said softly, his wonder and confusion clear in his voice, "She's my One, Thorin."

Thorin actually relaxed at that, a grin creeping onto his face, "Aye, we kinda figured that out when you devoured her after the dance." He studied his nephew, "Are you unhappy with this development?"

Fili's eyes widened incredulously, "She's a gift from Mahal, uncle. I never thought that I would be so blessed. Do I have your blessing?"

Thorin nodded, pulling Fili in for a hug, "I would never stand between you and your One. I admit, the timing and circumstances aren't the best. But I am truly happy for you."

Fili hugged him back, allowing himself to draw on his uncle's strength like he hadn't allowed himself to for years. He murmured, "Why did she flee? If she's my One? Am I that unacceptable?"

Wishing that the lad's mother was there to sort this out, he said awkwardly, "I don't think that's it lad, I don't think that at all. I think it's the other way around. I think that she thinks that she's not worthy of you."

Fili protested, "But she's my One, she was made just for me, is my perfect other half."

Thorin sighed, "I believe that it's a hobbit thing. Some strange notion that we don't understand."

Dwalin grumbled, "Or a lass thing. Dams are notoriously difficult to understand."

Ori piped up quietly, "Thorin's right, she probably believes that she isn't good enough for you. Although she comes from a well respected family, she is not royalty. Hobbits seem to be ones that put stock in such nonsense, much like men."

Fili frowned at him, "Even if that were the case, she still outranks me, the blood of Khazad-dum flows in her. The lost line. She could have any dwarf she wanted, Thorin even, and none would gainsay her."

Thorin blanched a little bit at this and muttered, "Mahal forbid. Besides, she's Fili's One which means that he in turn is hers. We'll just have to straighten out whatever misconceptions she may have. Not to mention that she's a valued member of this company. All very good reasons for her to match with him."

Fili sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I think she was right, we need sleep. She hasn't slept well since this all started. I'll go keep watch. I'll seek you out if I need help."

Balin nodded, "Our help is yours, lad. Whatever you need."

Fili nodded his thanks and made his way into Beorn's house, carefully searching for her. He found her curled up in a hidden corner and sighed. She was clearly trying to hide from all of them, not to mention probably exhausted from all the dancing and everything that she had done, but at least she had chosen a defensible spot. Sitting on the floor, he leaned against the wall and allowed his eyes to slide closed. Then he allowed all the wonder and joy that he had felt earlier to wash back over him. He had found his One, a gift beyond measure.

She was his and he absolutely adored her. He had to admit that he had been drawn to her from the moment that he first saw her, even with all the awkwardness that ensued afterwards, not to mention the debacle of everyone thinking her male. Although now that they knew the truth, he wondered how in the world they had ever possibly thought that. She was the epitome of feminine beauty and grace. And she was his. So what if she had reservations. He would carefully woo and wear her down until she came to see that they truly belonged together.

He watched her sleep as he planned out his courtship, a Khazad ballad about courtship and Ones springing to mind which he hummed unconsciously, his soul and heart thrumming and overflowing with love and hope at being so close to his One. After several moments, he noticed that the song seemed to be relaxing her as well. She had been curled in a tight ball, lines of stress and strain around her mouth and eyes. As he hummed, the lines eased and she uncurled, stretching out in a way that must've been much more comfortable, for she sighed contentedly and seemed to settle into a more restful sleep.

Kili crept over next to him and leaned against the wall, studying Bella with interest. His voice hushed, he murmured, "I never thought that we could actually meet our Ones on this quest. What does it feel like?"

Fili sighed, one corner of his mouth quirking up in a smile, "It's like nothing that I've ever experienced before. It's like coming home in the middle of a blizzard to find a roaring fire and a feast laid out for you. It's joy and laughter and stolen kisses. Sunlight and moon beams, a gentle spring rain, or a night blooming flower. Like mining a mine full of coal and finding a blue diamond. I feel like I could conquer a thousand Smaugs yet at the same time, this bond is so fragile and delicate it could shatter like crystal. It's like the part that I was missing, the part of every dwarf that is missing, is back where it belongs and I am whole once more. It is peace, safety, and comfort. Yet at the same time, it's adventure, discovery, and excitement. It's so many things all at once, and yet it is the most singularly perfect thing that I've ever experienced."

Kili's gaze was wistful, only a hint of envy lurking in his dark eyes. Fili didn't judge him for it or make the mistake that Kili cared for her either. They were more like siblings, sniping at each other anyway. No, the envy was any normal dwarf's longing for their One, the other half of their very soul. After several long moments, Kili sighed and looked away. He murmured, "If she's not awake by then, I'll bring you dinner so you don't have to leave her."

He smiled at his baby brother, the most precious dwarf in all of Arda to him. "Thank you. And Kee? You'll find her. I just know that she's out there waiting for you."

* * *

She ended up sleeping through the rest of the day and through all of the meals. It was sometime in the middle of the night when she finally woke up. She woke up slowly, feeling like she was slowly surfacing from a deliciously deep feather bed. She also felt clearer, like she had been running on empty for so long and had finally gotten a chance to just be and recover. She lay there lazily, debating whether or not to get up, listening to the odd creaks and groans of an unfamiliar house settling for the night and the snores of the Company.

Most of the snores were farther away, but there was one sleeper that was closer, his snoring soft and relaxed. She had the feeling that she already knew who it was, but she opened her eyes and looked anyway. To her non-surprise, it was Fili leaning back against the wall, his face relaxed as he slept. Turning onto her side, she propped her head on her arm as she studied him. He looked tired, dark circles under his eyes, although that wasn't surprising with everything that they had been through the past several days. But he still looked so strong and confident and he had been there since the very beginning, helping and caring for her. She should've seen the signs of their bond, but she had been alone for so long and never expected to even find her other half, her One. And now that her brain was no longer having to push through a fog of exhaustion, she could feel the joy and excitement when they'd kissed, the perfect harmony where they had danced together with blades, the perfection of their two hearts reaching for each other and connecting.

And now that she wasn't so tired and overwhelmed, she remembered Nori saying how dwarves only loved once and it was the same for hobbits. Did she really want to trade happiness for future problems that may or may not ever occur. Who knew if they would even successfully claim Erebor? Her heart shuddered at the thought of losing Fili or any of the dwarves that she'd come to care for. And would she be able to stand seeing someone else in Fili's arms, knowing that he was hers and only hers. And it didn't seem like Fili was opposed to the match. Even before he knew what he was to her and she to him, he had watched out for her. Goodness, he'd even taken care of her when he'd thought that she was male, not belittling her for not knowing things that most males would take for granted, especially these dwarves who were so unapologetically male.

Her heart warmed and knowing what her choice was and pretty sure that she knew what Fili felt about the situation, although she could be mistaken now that he'd had time to think about it, not that she truly believed it. So she sat up and wrapping her blanket around herself, making her way over and crawling into Fili's lap, laying her head on his shoulder. His arms immediately came up around her and he buried his face in her curls, breathing deeply and then murmuring her name.

Feeling safe and protected, she gave a small yawn before snuggling in a little more to his embrace and allowing her eyes to flutter closed once again. Her stomach gave a slight protest but she ignored it. Right now, she was too comfortable and she wasn't willing to move just to go in search of food. She could do that in the morning, right now, she was going to enjoy cuddling with her mate. She was asleep before that thought even finished fully forming, a small contented smile on her face.

* * *

Fili woke slowly, feeling content and rested. Since Kili wasn't digging an uncomfortable elbow in his gut or snoring loudly in his ear, Fili gave himself permission to just lounge there for a few more minutes. After all, who knew when they'd get another rest on their quest. Slowly, the events of the day before came back to him and he had to bite back a groan. The day before had been both the best and the worst day of his life. He had found his One, but then she had refused him and run away from him. That was baffling to him, but he had to remember that his little One was a hobbit and not a dwarf. It only meant that he'd have to work harder to woo and win her, as it should be.

He suddenly became aware of a light weight against his chest and was about to shove Kili off ceremoniously when the other person sighed and snuggled closer. A distinctly feminine sigh. And the sweet smell of her curls filled his nose unexpectedly, something that reminded him of growing things and sunlight, no matter how dirty she became. He froze, wondering if he had somehow moved during the night unintentionally. Slowly opening his eyes, he found that he wasn't the one that moved, but Bella had come to him sometime during the night. Usually, someone entering his space was a guaranteed wake-up, but he already knew down to his bones that she was his, so his instincts hadn't been triggered. 

Noting that she was still sleeping, he carefully tightened his arms just fractionally closer and cautiously brought his nose down close enough that he could smell her hair. He was careful not to disturb her, trying to figure out when she joined him and whether or not she would be freaked out when she woke up. Had this been a deliberate move on her part or had it been a sleepwalking incident? He prayed that it was the former because it meant that she accepted him, but couldn't rule out the latter, in which case she would be freaked out by waking up in his arms.

However, before he could decide one way or the other, she said softly, "I can feel you freaking out." Her eyes fluttered open to reveal her emerald eyes dark with sleep and she gave a small yawn. Sleepily stretching, she pressed a gentle kiss to his chin before snuggling back into his chest, "You can stop freaking out, I joined you, not the other way around. I'm sorry I freaked out yesterday, I was overwhelmed. Unless you don't want this, then I'll go back over to my bedroll and we can figure out where to go from here."

He felt her start to tense and he wrapped his arms even more firmly around her, "Mahal, no!"

She chuckled at that, her voice still husky from sleep, as she relaxed back against him, "Good, I'm glad about that. Everything had just happened so fast and I wigged out. I'm sorry."

Knowing that they needed to talk and that it was better to do it while the rest of the company was still asleep, he cautiously dropped a small kiss onto her curls. "Why did you freak out? One second it was all good, we were Ones and happy, then I got back from chasing Kili and you were shut down and insisting it wouldn't work. I'm puzzled."

She sighed, languidly reaching up and stroking a gentle hand over his head, "I had a lot of shocks in a short amount of time. Stone giants, goblin town, the creep in the tunnels, the white orc, giant eagles, Thorin almost dying, finding out that you all thought that I was a male. I'd gone out to the pasture to be alone and try to get a bit of my equilibrium back. I was not expecting to be followed, I was not expecting to find out that I was part dwarf, not prepared to discover that I'm some sort of dwarven nobility descendant, and I definitely wasn't prepared for enlightenment and the fact that you are my mate. I was at my limit and the thought of marrying you, a prince and leader of your people, of not being good enough for you, it was just too overwhelming."

Leaning into her touch, he asked quietly, "And now?"

She smiled, possessiveness and joy in her smile, "I decided that it didn't matter. You're an adult. If you don't care about all of that, then neither do I. Also, who says that we'll even reclaim Erebor, so why should I throw away even a moment of our time together when it could very well be that we're living on borrowed time? And I find the idea of you with someone else repugnant. You are mine and no one else's." She tugged his hair lightly at this statement.

His eyes lighting up with relief and joy, he bent down and claimed her lips in a firm kiss that she arched up into, their bodies fitting together as if they had been created just for each other, which Bella supposed that they had. He sighed into their kiss and pulled reluctantly back, cupping her face and studying it careful like she was some delicate, wondrous thing. He murmured, his voice rich, deep, and husky, "I hope that you realizes that this means that you're mine as well. Anyone else tries to claim you and I'll kill them personally."

She shrugged, her eyes sparkling happily at that. "I suppose that I should be appalled, at how bloodthirsty and unhobbitlike that is. But it makes me feel cherished to know that you feel thus."

He didn't say anything else, just swooped down and claimed her lips for another kiss. Readjusting just enough that she could loop her arms around his neck, she played with the hair at his nape while kissing him sweetly, allowing the quiet early morning to wrap intimately around them. That was, until her stomach grumbled angrily. She pulled back hastily, her cheeks bright red and stuttered, "Sorry about that."

Slipping his large hand behind the nape of her neck, he pulled her close enough that he could rest his forehead on hers, his eyes warm and expression content. He murmured, "Never apologize for who you are, amralime. Besides, you slept the day away yesterday, your body obviously requiring rest. Now, it seems that you are in need of sustenance. Let's go see what we can scare up for you."

She smiled, her blush fading as she reached up and cupped his face, "How did I get so lucky as to be paired with you? I'm blessed indeed."

He covered her smaller hand with his and turned his head enough so that he could press a kiss to her palm. The moment was broken by another gurgle of her stomach and he pulled back reluctantly. He set her aside and climbed to his feet before standing and gently pulling her up. As if he couldn't stand to be apart from her, he linked his hand through hers and started leading her quietly through the house.

It had been a rough start, but the future seemed very promising all of a sudden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this one might graduate to a full story someday, I find the idea very intriguing. However, enjoy this One shot for now


	17. Secret Hobbit Lass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rare pair alert!  
> Dori/Fem Bilbo  
> Post BOTFA

Oin stared in astonishment at the recalcitrant hobbit sitting stubbornly in front of him. Bilbo swayed alarmingly before straightening, "You heard me, I don't need tending. Give me some bandages and I'll see to it or leave me in peace."

Oin bellowed, "Laddie, you'll die if your wounds aren't tended proper!"

The rest of the company were gathered in the tent, watching wide eyed as the healer squared off with the hobbit. Bilbo shook his head, "That's a risk I'm willing to take. You've heard my terms."

Thorin growled, "Burglar, don't be foolish. You didn't live through Smaug and the battle only to be brought low by a wound."

Bilbo scowled fiercely at Thorin and growled, actually growled, "You're not my king. Just because I forgave you doesn't mean that you get to boss me around. And if anyone tries to "help" me, I'll take their hand off myself, see if I don't." The hand holding Sting's hilt was white knuckled and it was clear that the hobbit would happily carry out the threat.

Ori sniffled and asked quietly, "Do you want to die, Master Bilbo, is that it?"

Bilbo snorted, "Of course not, but this is just a scratch. I can handle it myself just fine." The blood soaked coat and waistcoat and the way Bilbo swayed alarmingly gave lie to that statement, but the hobbit refused to back down.

Gandalf ducked into the tent and the company let out sighs of relief, "Tharkun, it's good to see you. Master Baggins refuses all medical aid."

Bilbo scowled at the wizard, "Not one peep, Gandalf! You are the root of this, dragging respectable hobbits off on adventures. This entire mess is your fault. I'll tend to it myself."

Gandalf's hearing was as selective as Oin's could be at times, "Bilbo Baggins, we thought you lost. You are all over blood, allow Oin to tend you before you keel over and die."

Bilbo's scowl darkened even further, "You know why I cannot, Gandalf. Begone."

Gandalf drew himself up to his full height, "Belladonna Baggins, you fool of a Took! What would your mother have to say at this?"

Bilbo shouted back, "She would've never allowed herself to be drawn into this insanity!"

The dwarves were muttering amongst themselves, but both the hobbit and wizard ignored them, "So your willing to throw away your life, just like this, after everything? Because you refuse to be truthful with those whom consider you close as kin?"

Head truly swimming from blood loss, Bilbo shouted back, "You're the one that told me to keep the fact that I'm female secret upon pain of death, Gandalf. I didn't make it across half of Arda keeping a group of dwarves alive that seem to attract every damn thing in middle earth that wants to eat or kill them, only to ruin it now. I'll either die or I'll recover and return to the Shire like planned and they never need to know. Now get out!" She glanced around and realized what she just said and swore rather impressively.

The dwarves had all frozen, but then Oin and Dori unfroze, Dori shoving the rest of the company out of the tent with Oin's help before disappearing himself. Gandalf gave a tired smirk before realizing that he would have to answer some truly outraged dwarves if he didn't make himself scarce, did exactly that.

Closing the tent flaps firmly behind him, Oin made his way over and scowled at the hobbit, "So you're a lass, big deal. Nothing I haven't seen before. But if we don't get the bleeding stopped and your wounds disinfected, your going to die, which is unacceptable."

Bella carefully slide off her jacket, staring at Oin, perplexed, "Gandalf said that bad things would happen if you lot found out that I was a lass."

Oin muttered, helping her to ease off her waistcoat, "Bad things to Tharkun maybe, and before Rivendell, Thorin might've made ye turn back, cause we don't put lasses into danger if we can at all help it but ye've been firmly one of us since Goblin town."

Allowing Oin to lift her shirt off, she struggled to understand, "You mean, I've hid it all this time for nothing?"

Oin nodded, immediately setting to work on the long gash on her torso, "Yep."

Wincing at the sting of disinfectants, she did her best to hold still as she muttered, "I'm going to kill Gandalf. He made me think that you all would be outcasts or die or something. Gonna throttle him with his own beard."

That cause Oin to chuckle, "I'd pay good money to see that, lass. Since the truth is out anyway, anything else that you need taken care of?"

She sighed, her muscles going weak as she realized that she didn't have to hide the truth anymore. "A rather large cut on my thigh and my feet are in sad shape, but there's just been no time to deal with it." She looked at her poor feet and sniffled slightly.

Oin said quietly, "Go ahead and cry, lass. I won't judge you and no one needs to know. You've been so brave, lass. Done so much for us. Let us take care of you now."

She nodded, covering her mouth to hold in her sobs as her tears trickled down her face. Oin crooned as he worked, quietly explaining what he was doing as he worked. He muttered when he saw the slice on her thigh, but simply cleaned it out and stitched it before before neatly wrapping it in clean bandages. He also treated the burns and tiny slices on her feet, although he didn't bother wrapping them.

His manner was gruff but affectionate as he helped her change into a loose shirt and trousers before helping her settle into the cot. He said softly, "The others are going to want to make sure that you're all right. Do you want to see them? Because if not, I can give you a draught to sleep and we can face them all fresh tomorrow."

She said quietly, "I'm so tired, Oin. Can I just sleep?"

He quickly prepped a sleeping draught for her and stayed with her until she slipped off to sleep. When he exited the tent, most of company were lounging around, although they were at least trying to look like they were occupied with small tasks. It was Kili that spoke up, "Is Master Boggins gonna be ok?"

Oin rolled his eyes at the lad's impunity, "Mistress Baggins is going to be just fine. She has a large gash on her side, just below her ribs as well as a cut on her thigh that I've got all stitched up and handled. The poor lass was exhausted and I gave her a tonic to help her sleep. She'll be asleep for the rest of the day and probably most of tomorrow. If you want to work out a schedule to sit with her, that's fine, but do not disturb her or I'll tonic ye myself. Now, if all of you are fine, I have patients to see to. They nodded and parted to let him through. Several dwarves took off as well, having other tasks to see to now that they knew that their burglar was going to be all right, although hadn't it been a shock that the tiny creature was a female, although it explained more than it didn't.

The rest carefully started dividing up watches over the little lass, starting with Bifur taking the first watch. All of them peeked into the tent, but she had burrowed under the blanket and only her curly hair was seen, as well as the slow rise and fall of her chest that reassured them that she was indeed alive. Then they too scattered to the four winds, to tend to their kin and see to other tasks. Now the entire company had been accounted for, which was a great relief to all the dwarves. Erebor had been reclaimed, the dwarves had a home again, and the entire company had survived. Life was looking up.

* * *

Bella woke slowly, her side aching, although she was warm and dry so that was an improvement over the last time that she'd woke. She listened carefully and could hear the sound of someone near her. Events slowly came back to her and she sighed. Well, the cat was out of the bag and rather prettily now too. Forcing her eyes open, she found tent canvas above her, which confirmed that it hadn't all just been a dream. She looked over to find Dori sitting in a chair near her, quietly sewing something.

She was torn between relief and a strong urge to flee. Of all the company, she got along best with Dori, might even have a bit of a crush on him although she would rather die than admit it, but on the other hand, he was the one that she had never wanted to find out her secret. Sighing, she knew that she had to face the music sooner or later. Pushing the blanket down to her waist, she struggled to push herself into a sitting position.

Seeing the movement, Dori looked up only to quickly put aside his project and climb to his feet. He gently propped her up and placed a few pillows behind her, his strength making the task child's play. Her cheeks flushing lightly, she murmured her thanks. He offered her a cup of water and she took it gratefully, sipping eagerly at the cool water.

He asked quietly, "How are you feeling, Mistress Baggins?"

She met his eye and said just as quietly, "Bilbo, please. I would hate to lose your friendship over this. Gandalf swore to me that terrible things would happen if everyone knew that I was a lass, otherwise, I would've never deceived you. I am deeply sorry for that and understand if you don't want to be friends any longer though."

Dori said calmly, although his eyes promised retribution, "No one blames you, lass. We're all just relieved to see you alive. When you didn't turn up right away after the battle, we feared the worst, that we'd lost you. All of us worried terribly during the three days that you were gone. Tharkun, on the other hand, is another matter entirely."

She picked at her blanket, feeling ire rise rapidly in her. "No doubt he found it entertaining. If only he knew how I stressed about it, how I feared that you would discover the truth and that I would have doomed you all."

Dori smiled grimly at her, "Ah, that's how he did it, I did wonder. You, Miss Bilbo, are a most honest, extraordinary creature, so we knew that it must have taken something dire to hush you. There's quite the betting pool going on it right now."

She rolled her eyes at her dwarves antics, but couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corner of her lips. "You lot are insane, you know that? Some of the wagers over the course of the quest were downright daft."

Dori chuckled at that, resuming his seat carefully, watching her warily, "That they were, although none would've been so crude if we'd known."

She waved that aside, "There's gonna be a lot of coulda, woulda, shoulda over this whole thing, but it is really unnecessary, I promise you. None of you have mortally offended me and I actually got quite a few laughs out of the hi-jinks you all would get up to. Please don't take that fun away from me."

He nodded, his shoulders easing fractionally, although she could tell that he would still beat himself up over it for quite a bit. Still, all she could do was reassure him as the occasion arose and hope for the best. Playing with a rather ragged curl, she asked shyly, "So, you're truly not mad with me, Dori? I have come to enjoy your company and should hate to lose it."

A different sort of tension entered him at that admission, although his eyes were warm when they meet hers, "Aye, it's been my privilege as well."

Looking hastily away so he couldn't see the overly warm and sappy look in her own eyes, she searched for something to say. Finally she said lamely, "What are you working on?"

He shrugged, "Just a small bit of sewing. Ori's been waiting anxiously for you to wake up, although I don't know if he'll be able to string two questions together now that he knows that you're a lass."

She snickered at that, "A bit shy, is our Ori?"

He chuckled as well, "A bit, although Mahal knows that once my baby brother gets something that he's interested in, there's no stopping him."

Remembering the numerous questions that the younger dwarf had peppered her with over the course of the quest, she had to reluctantly agree. Sighing, she asked reluctantly, "How is everyone doing? The treaty meetings?"

Dori sighed as well, "Everyone is recovering well, the meetings are not faring so well."

She grumbled at that, "Help me up, that's what I was afraid of. I'd better go and get things straightened out, otherwise we're going to be here all winter." 

She was a little hurt when instead of helping her, Dori turned and walked from the tent. Tears welled up again and she harshly pushed them back. She'd known that things would change once they found out that she was female, but she hadn't imagined such a drastic change. She sniffed sharply, if she had managed to survive her relatives disdain, she could withstand this as well.

She had just swung her legs off the side of the cot when Dori bustled back into the tent along with Oin, Bombur, Fili, and Ori carrying something. Dori tsked when he saw her sitting up unaided. "If you're going to attend the meeting, we need to check you over, feed you, and make you presentable. Oin first and while he checks you over, you can get cleaned up." He handed her some soap and the bucket of warm water that Ori had been carrying her, as well as the bundle that he'd been working on. "Call us when you're finished, we'll be right outside."

They all left except for Oin who grumbled as he started checking her wounds, "You should be resting, not dealing with stone headed fools, but if you don't, we'll be here until the snow flies."

She raised an eyebrow at that. "You're not going to tell me not to do it?"

He shook his head, "Sadly, none of them have the sense of dwarflings and much too much pride in that tent. You'll get 'em straightened out in no time, you're good at organizing things. However, resist the urge to hit them. Your wounds are closing nicely and you don't want to reopen them for a hard headed male. Scrub up real quick and then I'll help you get dressed."

She moaned happily as she plunged her hands into hot water. Sure, it wasn't a full bath or anything, but even this much hot water was an untold luxury. She scrubbed up quickly, frowning at how filthy the water was and huffing out a sigh of relief at the feeling of finally being clean. She shook out the bundle that Dori had given her and gaped at it. It was a pair of soft brown trousers, just her size, as well as what looked almost like a blue dwarven tunic, only longer so that it fell to her knees, almost like a dress. Also, in addition to dwarven embroidery, it had softer Shire designs in it, a perfect melding of the two cultures. She slid them on, marveling over how soft yet sturdy they were and how well they fit, although there were tucks that could be removed once she gained a bit of weight back.

Once she was decently clothed, Oin left and allowed the others back into the tent. Ori carried another two buckets of water, apologizing that these ones were cold. Dori carefully supported her as she leaned back and Fili scrubbed her grimy hair while Ori carefully poured the water over it. Once they were satisfied that it was clean, she was sat in a chair and given a bowl of hearty stew and a roll by Bombur to eat while the other three fussed over and braided her hair. She mostly ignored them, too busy enjoying the stew.

Finally they seemed to settle on a pattern to their satisfaction and managed to wrangle her unruly curls under control, carefully braiding and beading. Pausing between bites, she said quietly, "I hope that you're not doing anything too flashy back there, you know that hobbits are simple creatures."

Fili chuckled at that and explained what they were doing, "Since I declared you kin and you accepted, one of the braids declares you a sister kin to the line of Durin. This one declares you as part of the company of Thorin Oakenshield and the bead marks you as a hero of Erebor."

She raised a brow at that, "A hero of Erebor, isn't that a little bit overblown?"

Fili said firmly, "You faced down a dragon alone, not a single dwarf can boast of that, you're definitely a hero. Now, where was I? Oh yes. This one marks you as a mediator. If you should chose to remain in Erebor, as we all hope that you will, it will be modified to dwarven envoy. However, your value to these talks is your apparent neutrality. I know that many will believe that you'll just automatically side with the dwarves, but you have the foresight to do what's best for everyone."

She sniffled and Dori quickly handed her a handkerchief, "That's sweet of you, Fee."

He grinned at her use of his nickname, "It's the truth, doesn't change just because you're a lass. Now, these three braids are to indicate your crafts, those of scholar, linguist, and master gardener. This last one says that you are an unattached lass, although your kin braid and company one should make it blatantly clear to any that want to court you that you're under all of our protection."

She looked at him like he'd lost his mind and he just grinned wider at her, "You did tell us that you were unattached, is there something that you want to tell me, sister mine?"

She blushed at that but rolled her eyes, "No, I'm unattached." Her eyes darted quickly to Dori and away again just as quickly. "What I find ludicrous is the idea that anyone is going to want to court me. I'm a confirmed spinster and let's just leave it at that."

All of the dwarves rolled their eyes while Ori protested, "It's not your fault that hobbit males are blind. Any dwarf would be blessed to have the chance to court you." His expression turned fierce, "Not that any of them will be worthy to court you. You're a treasure, Bilbo, and we're going to treat you right, we promise you that."

She observed each of the dwarves, noting the sincerity and determination in their eyes. She sighed, offering them a fond smile, "I guess that means that you're all stuck with me now, then. So I guess I'd better go get everything sorted so we can start rebuilding our home."

They cheered at that, pulling her into gentle hugs that were careful of her injuries. Was it her imagination or did Dori's hug linger just a moment longer than the others? She dismissed it as wishful thinking, turning her thoughts to what she was going to face. She started to leave the tend, only to stop at the last moment and snag Sting, belting it firmly around her waist. She never could have dreamed of all the comfort that a little elvish sword would bring her, but it had seen her through many dangerous adventures and she wasn't going to give it up now.

Taking her empty bowl, Bombur disappeared back off to who knows where while the other three escorted her to where the treaty talks were being had. She half expected to be stopped, but the guards simply waved them through, something that she attributed to being with Fili.

Walking into the tent, she blinked and almost walked right back out, not having been prepared to walk into a war zone, although she guessed that she really should have anticipated it. Gandalf looked frustrated, Bard looked weary more than frustrated but with a determined look on his face. Thorin and Thranduil were standing across from each other, red faced and snarling. Legolas looked like he wanted to disappear into the woodwork or be anywhere but there and Fili joined him after squeezing her shoulder gently. Ori moved over to a corner and drew out scribing supplies, no doubt recording the meeting for prosperity. The look on Balin's face was pure exhaustion and despair, while Dwalin stood guard emotionlessly, even with a bandage wrapped around his head. None of them seemed to notice her appearance, least of all Thorin and Thranduil, whose language was fair blistering the air.

She murmured quietly to Dori, "Can you get me something breakable that will shatter well, preferably something that is already beyond repair, but I'm not picky."

He slipped out of the tent and came back a few minutes later with a bucket full of large dish shards. She beamed up at him, "That's perfect, thank you."

Picking out the largest piece, she brought it crashing down on the table, reveling in the resounding crash that it made. Bard and Legolas jumped to their feet, their weapons half drawn, before they registered who it was. The lines around Gandalf's mouth eased and a twinkle appeared in his eyes. Dwalin didn't change expression, but both Thorin and Balin's eyes widened when they took in her outfit and braids. Thranduil snarled, "And just who might you be? And who gave you the right to interrupt this meeting?"

She offered him a curt bow, "Belladonna Baggins, also known as Bilbo, as your service. We conversed a few days ago about matters of recompense. However, that is not the matter at hand right now. Right now, we need to hammer out an alliance before winter moves in and we all freeze and starve to death. May I offer my services as a mediator?"

Both Bard and Thranduil gaped at her, remembering the rather ragged halfling that had appeared like a thief in the night bearing a king's ransom.

Thranduil sneered, "What could a hobbit possibly know about negotiating or mediating?"

The dwarves bristled at that but before they could speak, she laughed, "Oh, your majesty, hobbits are masters at these skills. The stories that I could tell you, if you would just so kindly have a seat?"

She turned to Dori and murmured quietly, "Is there any way we could get some tea? Ale is for when the negotiations are over." He nodded and slipped out of the tent.

Carefully carrying her bucket of shards, never hurt to be prepared, she sat and regaled them with a brief tale of her aunt's birthday two years ago and all the negotiations that that had taken. While they were still trying to process what had happened, she gently eased them into negotiations, drawing out what each party needed and what each had to offer in exchange. They were deep into it when their brains suddenly seemed to realize what she had done. Both Thorin and Thranduil stiffened and she just sipped at her tea while reaching for her bucket. 

They both scowled but their pride wouldn't allow them to admit that they had been tricked, so talks continued, although they were debated more. Since they'd covered the necessities, she let them have their fun and by the time they had it almost complete, she would almost swear that they were enjoying it, although none of them would ever admit it. The sun was just setting when they hammered out the last of the details and Bombur came in with ale and a hearty meal for them to celebrate their work.

She leaned back in her chair and sipped at her ale, a small smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth at her success. From the way some of the others were bragging (read Thorin and Thranduil), you'd think that it had all been their idea. Pleased that it was handled, she quickly smothered the yawn that had snuck up on her. Having kept a close eye on her, Fili came over and helped her up, calling their good nights to the rest of the tent.

He looped her arm through his, allowing her to lean tiredly on him. He smiled warmly down at her, "I knew that you were perfect for the job, although I admit that the breaking crockery was innovative, I'm going to have to tell amad about that. We may have to make it part of council meetings."

She shrugged, giggling slightly, "Part of it is the shock factor, once they get used to it, it's of no use. I'm just glad that we got it all sorted. Now I feel like I can sleep for a week."

He shrugged philosophically, "It's probably the blood loss, plus we pushed really hard to get here and everything. You've earned your rest, especially after getting all of that sorted."

She snorted, "Faunts cooperate better than they do. I'll definitely need to stay as mediator, otherwise, you'll all kill each other."

He smiled gently down at her, "While I'm pleased to hear that you want to stay, namad, I will give you a little time without mortal danger to decide one way or the other."

She leaned against his shoulder and mumbled tiredly, "You're sweet, but I won't change my mind. You all need me and it's nice to be needed, you know. Been a long time since it felt like anyone actually saw me, you know?"

He patted her arm gently, "We see you, Bilbo. We may not have fully seen you up until now, but we still see you and are honored to know you. We will always regret events that happened, that made you lose your trust in us. Maybe, some day, we can win your full regard back. That is our hope, anyway."

She rolled her eyes, yawning widely in a jaw cracking yawn, "I've already forgiven you lot, although if it happens again, I will brain you all with a skillet and knock some sense back into your thick skulls. Now, just let me have a cot that I can crawl into and pass out for a little while, k?"

He chuckled thickly, "This is your tent right here, namad."

Dori came out of it, "It's my turn to watch, your highness. If I may?"

Fili passed her over, brushing a kiss over her forehead, "Of course, Dori. You're a most honorable dwarf and I know that you will protect her fiercely. But she is almost asleep on her feet, do you need a hand?"

Dori shook his head and easily scooped her up into his arms. "Nay, lad, she doesn't weigh more than a feather and I know that you're eager to go and check on your brother and uncle." 

Fili nodded and quickly took his leave of them. Bilbo snuggled closer into his chest and mumbled tiredly, "I wish that this was real."

Feeling his throat tighten at the feeling of rightness of having her in his arms, Dori slipped into the tent, "You wish what was real, Bilbo?"

She sighed, her voice fading as she drifted off to sleep, "That you were really here, Dori. That you cared for me like I do for you. But I'll always just be that odd spinster Baggins. Oh well."

He froze and she let out a soft snore. Surely he had misheard her soft words, however a small whistle from his right drew his attention to where his middle brother was lurking in the tent. Nori carefully pulled back the blankets on the cot so that Dori could carefully lay the lass down and tuck her in. The brothers moved away and Nori said softly, "I never thought that you were the one that the wee lass was pining over, although I shoulda expected it, the way you two gravitated towards each other."

Dori looked at Nori incredulously, "So I didn't just imagine?"

Nori chuckled softly, "No, Bilbo just confessed to you right as she fell asleep and didn't even realize it. Poor thing is worn to a thread." Nori turned and met Dori's eyes directly, "I'm happy for you, brother. You two match well and I know that you've come to care for her deeply. Ori and I are grateful for all that you sacrificed for us, but we're grown dwarves now and it's time for you to seek your own happiness. And I think that we both know that that happiness lies with a wee beardless hobbit lass who shares your love of tea and conversation, who looks out for the company like you do as well, and who is braver than ten dwarves combined. The question is, nadad, will you be brave as well or will you break her heart?"

Dori sighed quietly, "I don't deserve a lass like her, so charming and mannerly, witty and brave, strong and courageous."

Nori turned uncharacteristically sober, "None of us do, but we pray to Mahal for that blessing anyway. And you do deserve it, Dori. You've taken care of us for so long and given us so much, it's time for you to take something for yourself. And if you just so happen to give your heart to her? Well, so much the better."

Dori gave a half smile and teased, "It seems that I'm destined to be surrounded by thieves, because she stole my heart before I even knew it, nadad."

Nori had to hastily smother his roar of laughter, looking guiltily over at the cot where Bilbo shifted restlessly before sinking back into a deep sleep. Nori murmured, "There had never been a thief or burglar like her before and I doubt that there ever will be again. You have my best wishes and should you need anything, anything at all, just say the word."

Dori nodded absently and settled into the chair beside the cot to watch over her, his mind already busily planning what he would make her as a courting gift. Something that was as unique and beautiful as the hobbit lass herself.

* * *

Bilbo slept for most of the next few days, the long journey finally catching up with her. The few times she was awake, she fussed that she didn't need to have dwarves watching over or guarding her, but the company just ignored her and she didn't have the energy to make her orders stick. However, she vowed her revenge on the hard headed dwarves once she got a bit more rest. To her surprise, it was often Thorin that sat with her. It wasn't until the second day when Oin was checking her wounds that she found out the reason why.

"Just let the lad sit with ye, lassie. He can't do much with his injuries and there are lots of dwarves besides. This allows him to assuage some of his guilt over how he treated you plus keeps him in one place long enough to let his wounds start healing. It's a win win and ye've always been a practical lass."

She snorted at that and grumbled, "Flattery will not work on me, master healer. However, I know how stubborn he can be on insisting things are done his way even when he's injured, I remember Beorn's, so I will permit it for the other's sake. After all, my poor nadad, should have to chase after his uncle as well as everything else that he's doing." She yawned widely, "I just wish that I could stop being so tired all the time."

Oin smiled gently at her, "You've pushed yerself too hard, lassie. You're not made of stone like us dwarves, no matter how bright and shining your spirit is. And truthfully, Bilbo, we're all weary. Things have been hard since Smaug first came and this quest was fraught with peril, not to mention the battle. Aye, we'll all appreciate some rest and quiet come this winter in Erebor."

Uncertainty flashed through her eyes and that and she quickly tried to push it aside, but Oin saw it, "What are you fretting your pretty head about now, lass?"

She rolled her eyes, "I am far from attractive, Master Oin. After all, I traveled with you lot for months and none even realized I was female. But that's not what I'm fretting about, as you so kindly say. Will I even be permitted into Erebor? If I am, will the dwarves resent me because I'm an outsider and a traitor beyond that? And what will I do if I'm not permitted to stay, for my home was surely lost to me long ago."

Oin frowned at her, "What's that, lassie? Surely yer home is right where ye left it."

Bilbo nodded, yawning again, "Oh yes, Bag End and the Shire is still there. Don't get me wrong, but I shall not be permitted to return there or stay. It is unacceptable for a single hobbit female to travel in the company of males without an escort, even when in disguise. I shall surely be an outcast, not that I really care. Even my grandfather couldn't do much for me. Bag End had undoubtedly been claimed by my Baggins relatives as soon as it was discovered that I was gone. It's no big deal, I'm too big for the Shire anymore anyway."

Oin's eyes were wide, but he frowned and said simply, "What would your grandfather have to do with anything?" Her eyes were drooping so he helped her to lay back down and gently covered her with the blanket.  
She murmured sleepily, "He's the Thain, of course. But I've been gone much too long, much longer than even my mother's rambles, so there's nothing he could do for me."

Oin muttered mutinously, "Of course you're related to the bloody Thain. When I get my hands on Tharkun, I swear."

Bella giggled at that, drawing him from his ire, "But if Gandalf hadn't chosen me, I wouldn't have gotten to know all of you and would've kept being unhappy alone in the Shire. Despite everything, this is much better, trust me."

He smoothed her hair gently back from her face, "Aye, if you say so, lass. But don't be too forgiving of the wizard, after all that he put you through."

She mumbled, "Nope, gonna put a frog in his hat or something like that. He deserves it." Then she was out like a light again.

Chuckling at her plans and knowing that Kili would be more than happy and willing to be her accomplice in any revenge, Oin sighed and repacked his kit. She was getting better, healing better than even a dwarf would. But the entire company was appalled at the way they had treated a lass over the course of the journey. And Dori was acting odd. He watched over the lass like she was the greatest treasure but he was so busy that he rarely saw her. What he was so busy with, no one knew, although Nori was clearly in on it as well. He would've suspected the youngest Ri as well, but Ori was completely guileless and he was often busy scribing for the many meetings that were being held every day.

He'd never seen the mithril haired dwarf act like this, although he had his suspicions about what exactly this is, then set it aside as none of his business. Things would either work out at they were meant to or they wouldn't. Sticking his nose into would change a thing, although he would an eye on the pair just to be on the safe side. Satisfied that she was deeply asleep, he slipped out of the tent and suppressed a yawn. There was still more than enough work for a healer, he would rest once they were all safely inside Erebor for the winter. Although when that would be was anyone's guess.

* * *

Bilbo picked listlessly at her breakfast, feeling rather downcast. She should be happy, today was the day that they would finally be able to move back into Erebor. However, even though she had mended fences with Thorin, her heart was still heavy. Ever since they had found out that she was a lass, the company had been a bit more careful and courteous around her, but still treated her with warmth and familial affection. All, that is, except for Dori.

She had seen him only a few times after that first day where he'd given her her new outfit. He'd been polite yet distant, something obviously weighing heavily on his mind. Even her best efforts couldn't seem to draw him out, his responses brief and distracted. When she had discretely asked Nori if she had somehow offended Dori, Nori had just grinned widely at her and shook his head, giving her a platitude about Dori just being kept busy with his duties. She did not dare ask anything more, the knowing look in Nori's eye stilling her tongue.

Instead, she fretted in silence, convinced that the fact that she was a lass had managed to drive him away and lose her a good friend, not to mention her foolish hopes for something more with the mithril haired dwarf. She had always known that it was a foolish daydream on her part, but it didn't mean that her heart ached any less when those daydreams inevitably shattered.

She was just forcing herself to finish up the last of her breakfast when the tent flap opened and the dwarf that she had been brooding about entered. She blinked at him, having not expected to see him at all. He hesitated in the doorway, but said warmly, "Good morning, Miss Bilbo. I hope that you slept well."

Pulling herself together, she nodded, "Well enough, although I'll be happy to be back in Erebor again. Would you care to sit while I finish up breakfast? I won't be but a moment"

Something in his face seemed to soften and he nodded, moving over to the table and sitting down, setting a package and a sheave of papers on the table. "No rush. I have something that I would like your opinion on anyway."

She perked up slightly at that. If he was asking for her opinion, maybe she hadn't destroyed things between them as badly as she had feared. Grateful that her hands weren't shaking, she picked up her tea and sipped carefully at it before replying, "I would be honored."

He nodded firmly, passing over the papers to her, "These are the plans for my tea shop and how I plan to build up my business."

Curious as to why he was showing her this, she nonetheless took the papers and looked them over carefully. Her nerves disappeared as she read through the papers, her attention increasingly drawn into all the thoroughly though out details and plans. Finishing reading, she looked up at him, her eyes shining with excitement as she exclaimed, "Dori, this is marvelous! I don't see why you need me to look this over, you've thought of everything. I can't wait to see this happen, it will be perfect."

Dori took a deep breath and looked at her with a determined expression before reaching across the table and gently taking her hand. She froze but he just ran his thumb gently back and forth across her knuckles, the action inherently soothing. His voice was low and gentle when he spoke, "I showed it to you because I want you to be part of this, for this to be our future, together. I wish to court you, Miss Bilbo, to work together with you to build this."

It took her several moments to pull her thoughts together enough to stutter, "Why me? You could have any dam you want, with your looks and strength and heart. I'm just a hobbit spinster far from home. I was lost for most of the quest, stumbling through it on blind luck. Not only that, but I have nothing to bring to this, I gave away my portion of the treasure and Bag End is undoubtedly lost to me. Without Thorin's generosity, I wouldn't even had a place to live."

Dori's hand tightened fractionally on hers, although he was careful not to hurt her. He said firmly, "Don't sell yourself short. We would not have have made it to Erebor without you, not to mention that you faced down a dragon alone. If you weren't here, lass, we would've lost the royals for sure."

He studied her, his expression softening. "But it's more than that, lass. You've drawn me since first we met. You've a gentle strength to you, one that has been developed through many hard and lonely years. I recognize it because I've seen it in myself. I know that my brothers love me in their own way, even if they do say that I fuss too much, but it's true that we're all quite different from each other. But when I met you and you could actually discuss intelligently things that I love, it made the world a brighter place. To finally find someone who understood me instead of just bafflement or downright mockery, you do not know how much I craved that. It was like my soul was starving and you offered me a feast. And you offered it so freely, without thought of what I could give you in return. I have not known such selfless generosity in years."

She started to speak but he shook his head, not done yet. "Not only that, but the way that you watched over my brothers. Nori could talk to you, really talk to you without fear or reproach, and you earned enough of his respect that he listened to you and reined in some of his wilder behavior. Not only Nori, though, but Ori as well. You were patient with him and all of his endless questions, and I know some of them were quite inappropriate, although he meant no harm. But I love Ori like my own pebble and to see you working with him to expand his knowledge and improve his craft moved me deeply."

Turning her hand in his so she could hold it, she admitted shyly, "I'd been alone for so long, to finally have someone who understood me and was willing to talk with me about things, not just sneer at me, it was liberating. But the way you cared for your family, your gentleness and your strength, all drew me to you. But why did you never say anything?"

He laced his fingers together with hers, hope glimmering brightly in his eyes for the first time that she'd ever seen. "I didn't think that such a refined, gentle hobbit could ever want a dwarf like me, with all the different circumstances at play. But then, after Thorin banished you and then there was the battle and you didn't come back for three of the longest days of my life, I knew then that I'd lost my heart to you long ago. However, I was still hesitant to speak, until the night after the treaty dealings. You were near asleep on your feet and you murmured that you wished that I would care for you like you cared for me. My heart near hammered out of my chest and I knew that I had to speak up."

Confusion crossed her face and she said slowly, "If that's the case, why have you been avoiding me?"

He said firmly, "I wasn't avoiding you. However, I wanted to get everything lined up, to show you that I was serious and that I could provide properly for our future together. You deserve the best, deserve to be courted properly like the treasure that you are. I'm sorry that it took so long to get everything pulled together, I didn't mean to worry you."

Her heart filled to overflowing, she lifted up their clasped hands and pressed a kiss to his. She said softly, tears pricking at her eyes, "I would be honored to court you, Dori. And I want to build a future together with you."

He beamed at that, his face lighting up in a way that made her catch her breath. He pulled their hands over and pressed a kiss gently on her knuckles, "I will make you happy, I swear, Bilbo."

She smiled at him, "You already do. Still, we'd better get moving before your nosy brothers decide to interrupt us."

* * *

When they emerged from the tent a few minutes later, they were both sporting new braids and Bilbo was wearing the new coat that Dori had fashioned as a courting present while Dori carried her pack, their hands woven together. Nori was waiting for them, leaning insouciantly against a barrel while he fiddled with a bit of knotted rope.

His braided eyebrow rose when he saw their hands and braids before grinning widely at them. Pocketing the rope, he said, "I'm happy for the both of you, you both deserve happiness."

Bilbo grinned at him, "Thank you, Nori. But that doesn't explain why you look like the cat that ate the canary."

Nori's grin softened and he said quietly, "I really am happy for you, Bilbo, both of you. You match each other, fit each other just right and I know that you'll be happy together." Looking around suddenly as if realizing that they were out in the open, Nori stuffed his hands in his pockets and whistled a cheery little tune. "Also, Dwalin lost the bet and now he owes me."

Dori looked irritated at this, but Bilbo just threw her head back and laughed, the sound bright in the crisp air. Squeezing Dori's hand, she said, "Let's go home, Dori."

Gently squeezing her hand back with his, he smiled warmly at her, "Let's."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Praying for Wisdom, Enlightenment, and Peace!
> 
> We are strong together!


	18. Doubly Blessed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ori/Bella  
> Post BOTFA
> 
> Short but incredibly fluffy. You've been warned

Thorin felt a headache creeping at his temples. This council meeting had been going on for three days with only brief respites for food and sleep. Even that had been done in the council chambers. It had been declared that no one was leaving until they had managed to reach a resolution on this problem. He was really starting to regret that declaration.

A commotion in the hall drew him from the exact same argument that they had already had ten times. He waited for the commotion to die down but it only increased to the point where it sounded like a full scale war out there. Concerned, he motioned for Dwalin to investigate. The large dwarf was back in moments, amusement and fear warring in his eyes. Surprised because he expected his head guard to take his time, he motioned for him to report. Leaning over, Dwalin murmured, "Your presence is required in the hall. Now. And if you don't want that ruckus to come in here and heads to roll, I advise that you do it quickly."

Thorin nodded. Interrupting the droning speech, he said, "If you'll excuse me, there is an urgent matter that needs my immediate attention. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Without bothering to listen to their protests, he quickly made his way into the hall. He blinked in disbelief at the sight that met his eyes. There had been a contingent of guards posted in the hallway to keep them from being disturbed. Ten of Dwalin's finest. All of them who looked like they'd been fighting a pack of wargs and were currently cowering away from one heavily pregnant hobbit who was scolding them like they were naughty pebbles.

Fighting down laughter, he cleared his throat. He immediately regretted it when the hobbit whirled and focused on him. He wanted to retreat but forced himself to hold his ground. He was king and he would not flee from one small pregnant hobbit lass. He immediately regretted it when she marched over and seized his beard, yanking him down until they were eye to eye. She hissed, "Thorin Oakenshield, you need to give me my husband or I will be forced to do something drastic."

His eyes watering from her grip on his beard, he kept from looking at the battered soldiers. He soothed diplomatically, "I know that it's hard to be separated but we need him. As soon as this is over..."

She shrieked, "I am not having this baby without my husband."

Deafening silence fell over the hall. Thorin's mind felt like it was moving through syrup as it tried to process what she'd just said. He squeaked, "You're in labor?"

Her eyes filled with tears and she suddenly whimpered, releasing his beard and cradling her stomach. "Yes, and I need Ori. I can't do this alone." 

Easing her to a sitting position, he snapped at Dwalin, "Get Ori."

This snapped the frozen guard into action and he disappeared back into the council chambers. He was back moments later dragging the bewildered scribe with him by his collar. Setting him down gently next to Bella and Thorin, he went over to the guards and started snapping orders.

Ori immediately gathered Bella up in his arms. "What is it, love? What's wrong? Are you ok? The baby?"

Cuddling into him, she murmured, "It's time, the baby's coming."

He squeaked, "You're in labor?"

She rolled her eyes affectionately, "Why does everyone seem shocked at that? It had to happen sooner or later."

"What are you doing here? You should be in the infirmary or our chambers."

She said drily, "I'm having a baby, not dying. Women have been having babies for centuries. Besides, I refuse to do this alone."

Dwalin came back over and helped Bella gently to her feet. "Humor us. The infirmary is gonna be busy where you used my men for target practice, so your place is probably the best. I've already sent a runner for Dori and Oin. The rest of us will be along as soon as we've wrapped this up."

She peeked up at him through her lashes. "I didn't mean to hurt them, I was just a bit panicked."

He grinned at her, "No lasting harm, lass, except to their egos. Ye've quite a temper on you."

She blushed but didn't deny it. Turning to Thorin, she wavered, "I'm sorry, if you really need Ori..."

He smiled at her. "Go fight your battle. We'll make do. Your husband should be with you. And like Dwalin said, we'll all be there as soon as we can."

Making her way back over to where Ori was still sitting dumbfounded on the ground, she said gently, "C'mon love. We need to head back to our rooms. We'll get to meet our little dwobbit today."

The word was one that Nori had coined and it had unfortunately stuck. Jumping to his feet with an awestruck expression, he said, "I'm going to be an adad."

She said patiently, "Yes, but first we have to go back and actually have the baby." Seeing him eye her, she added, "And no, you are not going to carry me. We are going to walk back like two rational people."

He looked like he wanted to protest, but she murmured something into his ear and he nodded. Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, she snuggled into his side and they started walking back towards their chambers, murmuring quietly to one another.

Thorin watched until they turned the corner. Squaring his shoulders, he made his way back into the council chambers. There was an uproar when he returned to the chambers which he ignored as he sat down. He waited until silence fell and then looked each member in the eye. Once he was satisfied that they were sufficiently cowed, he spoke, "I was just informed that Bella is in labor. I will not miss the birth of her first child, so I recommend that we reach an agreement quickly, don't you agree?"

"But what will we do for a scribe?"

"Gloin will do for now, I will not keep a dwarf from his dam when she is in labor. Any other questions? Then I suggest that we get started."

* * *

Thorin made his way through the corridors, the rest of the company right on his heels. Nori muttered under his breath, "I don't know whether to bless the lass for going into labor or curse the council for taking so long to hammer out a single matter. I thought for sure that Dwalin was going to start taking heads when they started arguing yet again."

Dwalin chuckled, "I was doing it to spare them. Better a quick end from me then dealing with you being kept away from your namith while she's in labor."

Fili and Kili were chattering away enthusiastically. Fili still believed that it was a boy while Kili was firmly in the camp that Bella and Ori were having a daughter. The company had been making bets for months, almost as soon as they'd found out that Bella was expecting. The company was firmly divided, although most believed that it would be a son, as there hadn't been a female in the line of Ri except for Lady Ri for the past five generations. 

They reached the Ri's chambers in record time and Thorin rapped lightly on the door. Dori answered it, looking frazzled, and gestured the company into the sitting room. Seeing the state that his older brother was in, Nori gently guided him to a chair and brought him a cup of tea. He asked, "What's wrong, nadad? You know that pebbles take time, especially first pebbles. She's only been in labor for a few hours, right?"

Dori stared off in the distance before visibly pulling himself together. "Bella said that they started late last night, but she was hoping that Ori would be home this morning. She didn't say a word to me or anything."

Dwalin whistled, astonishment plain on his face, "You mean she did that to me men after being in labor for hours? I take it back, she's the toughest creature in Arda."

Nori focused on the closed door and the hushed voices before refocusing on his distraught brother. "What aren't you telling us?"

"The Lady Dis came with Oin and was sitting with me off and on. About thirty minutes ago, a baby cried and I was relieved, because it meant that Bella and the little one were ok. Then Oin opened the door and shouted for Dis. She ran in there and slammed the door. There was quite the ruckus for a few minutes and then nothing. I don't dare go in there, but what if something has happened to her?"

His face was haunted by the memories of losing his mother in childbirth to Ori. Nori's face paled as he caught the drift of his brothers thinking. Right then, the baby cried again and all of the dwarves held their breath. It was a strong healthy sound. Dropping to his knees in front of Dori's chair, Nori caught his brother's hands and said fiercely, "They're going to be just fine. Bella's a fighter and listen to that little one's lungs. He'll have his mother's yell for sure. Think of all we've been through, we're not going to lose her now. I'll fight the Valar myself if I have to, but we are not going to lose her."

After several tense minutes, the door opened and Ori staggered out, shock evident on his face. Nori jumped up and guided him over to the chair across from Dori. Seeing how pale he was, Nori quickly poured him a shot of whiskey and shoved it into his hands. Ori raised it to his lips mechanically and swallowed. The unexpected burn caused him to cough and sputter, but when he got control of himself, there was color back in his face and his expression was focused. Scowling at Nori, he exclaimed, "Gah! Warn someone first."

Nori didn't bother making some sly remark. "We heard the wee one. Is everything ok? Bella?"

Tears filled his eyes and the whole company held their breath. "She's fine, everyone's fine. I'm an adad."

There were jubilant cheers from the entire company before they abruptly hushed when the baby cried again. They crowded around the overwhelmed scribe and Nori asked, "Well, is it a lad or a lass?"

A laugh came from the doorway and they turned to see Dis standing there, her expression downright glowing with happiness. "Give the poor lad some room. We need Ori for just a moment, then all of your questions will be answered."

The scribe leapt to his feet and dashed back into the room with alacrity. Meeting Thorin's eye, Dis smiled gently, a contentment lurking in her gaze that had been absent for much too long. "We just need to clean up the new mama and then you can all come in and congratulate her on a battle well fought."

Ori chose that moment to reappear in the doorway, not one but two bundles cradled gently in his arms. Nori breathed "Twins" and sat down hard on the ground. Stunned silence fell over the company and Dis grinned cheekily at them before heading back into the room and closing the door. Making his way slowly over to where Dori sat dumbfounded, Ori said proudly, "Dori, son of Ri, head of the line of Ri, I would like to present you with the two newest members. Bella has fought long and hard and has not triumphed once but twice!"

Dori's eyes filled with tears and he beamed at Ori. "She has always brought strength and honor to our line and now she has added even more joy. Who are these new members of the line that you present to me?"

Gently handing over one bundle, he said, "Here is Rori, my first-born son."

There was a burst of quiet chatter while Dori gently looked over the baby. "Welcome to the family, Rori son of Ori"

The baby yawned and Dori chuckled thickly. Passing him gently to Nori, both of the brothers smiled at Nori's awestruck expression.

Turning back to Ori, Dori cleared his throat. "And this little one?"

Ori's grin widened, "This is Beryl, my daughter."

Fili whispered, "Twins and a daughter on the first try? Mahal has surely blessed you."

Ori gently placed his daughter in Dori's arms. Cradling her gently, he said, "Welcome to the family, Beryl daughter of Bella. May Mahal bless you and your brother the way he has blessed this family."

All of the company couldn’t help but agree with Dori’s quiet statement. They had been blessed indeed.


	19. Crush Requited

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kili/Bella  
> Stone Giants

Bella was done. Totally, utterly, completely done. It had been bad enough having to scramble along narrow, rocky paths. Then it had started to rain and added to the fun by making the aforementioned paths slick and miserable. But as if that hadn't been bad enough, whatever bad luck was dogging them decided to up the ante by making the mountains come alive. There was no way that any part of this was natural or normal, or right. It's like someone out there was watching them and was like, "You know what, I don't think things are quite hard after all, because a quest should be full of hard challenges to overcome. I know, I'll make the mountains turn into giants and throw rocks at each other. That'll keep 'em hopping." And with a snap of their fingers, voila, stone giants.

She ignored Bofur's awed exclamation, too busy biting back the words that wanted to be let loose to blister the air around her. Her parents had impressed on her that it was unladylike to swear, but she considered this an exceptional circumstance. But no, it wasn't enough to cower against the rock and scramble trying to avoid the rock shards that were flying through the air like tiny missiles. No, fate chuckled and rolled the dice and surprise, surprise, their luck was once again crap. They were standing on a stone giant who decided that he wanted to participate in the brawl. Rude if you asked her, it was clearly a private fight.

Half the company ended up on one knee and the other half on the other. She barely had time to notice that Kili was in the other group, his face white as he screamed for his brother. A sour little voice in her mind said, 'always his brother, never me'. Still, they had been together for decades, of course he was concerned about his brother rather than a pathetic hobbit lass with a sad little crush on him. She was halfway tempted to just let go as it had proven that it was impossible to die from embarrassment, she was living proof of that. But her Took stubbornness kicked in and she clung with a white knuckled grip, feeling nauseous from all of the movement.

She silently cheered when she saw the other half jump to safety, unwilling to open her mouth and lose whatever she had eaten that day. She saw them trying to make their way after them, Thorin griping his axe in a white knuckled grip while Kili nocked an arrow. It was sweet that he that he was willing to take on a monster from legend to try and save them, although his ax wouldn't do any good against the stone that was the giants body.

Then the mountain was approaching and there was no more time to think, they had to move or be smashed. Her footing not as sure as the others, she moved just a second too late and missed, although she managed to catch the wall and clung to it as the stone giant fell down and down and down. She heard Thorin's heartbreaking roar of denial and then the relief in his voice when he discovered that they were alive.

She had no voice to call for help and no strength to pull herself up to join them. A small part of her hoped that Kili would be the one to notice that she was missing, but knew that he was probably checking Fili over to see if he was harmed or not. The question was if anyone would notice that she was missing before she lost her grip and tumbled after the giant. To her relief, Bofur quickly noticed that she was missing. Ori and he tried to reach her, but she couldn't stretch far enough. Her grip slipped and she felt the weirdest mix of resignation and franticness for the briefest of seconds before Thorin was there and boosting her to safety.

Then he almost slipped and had to be hauled up by Dwalin. Before she could find the breath and composure to thank him, he spat some nasty words at her and stormed away. So, she huddled at the base of the wall alone, totally done and wishing for either bag end or a stick to smack some sense into Thorin. Yes, he'd just had a nasty fright, but so had she. Still, he had saved her, so she supposed that that made them even.

Then it was announced that they had found a cave and she pulled herself up and stumbled after them, not meeting anyone's eyes, not wanting to see their contempt or their pity. When she passed Bofur, she muttered, "Next time, you can keep your legendary giants."

This surprised a chuckle out of him and she felt her heart lift fractionally. She entered the cave and found a tiny corner to wedge herself into, grateful to be out of the rain. The dwarves settled themselves more towards the back of the cave and she was grateful for the space. Now that the danger was over, her body was trying to shake itself to pieces, a delayed fear reaction. She was also having to bite her tongue to keep it from running away from her in a very impolite rant about quests, dwarves, storms, mountains, and insanity in general.

She was also highly tempted to cry, completely overwhelmed, but her eyes remained stubbornly dry. Gradually her shaking eased and she noticed that the other dwarves seemed to have rallied as well, quiet conversations going on. Raising her head just enough so she could peek through her lashes over her knees, she surveyed the cave. The families were all grouped together, except for Dwalin who was standing watch at the entrance. He kept darting worried glances at her, so she raised her head just enough that he could see her face and offered him a small smile. This seemed to reassure him and he turned his full attention back to the watch and she tucked her head back down again.

Heated whispers caught her attention and she turned her head just a hair, just enough to see that it was Kili and Fili that were closest to her. She studied them, but they appeared to be unharmed and she relaxed slightly. But they were arguing? That was a rare sight indeed. Although they were brothers and quite close in age indeed for dwarves, they usually got on swimmingly. She strained to hear what they were saying.

Fili said, "You have to tell her!"

She cringed slightly at that. There was only one her and she was it. What had she done now? After they left Rivendell, she had tried to cut down on the stalkerish behavior and staring at him. In fact, she had tried to act like she hadn't had a crush on him at all. Maybe that was it? Maybe he'd noticed her crush and odd behavior and was trying to find a way to let her down without her running screaming from the company? You're nice and all, and thanks but no thanks?

Kili whined, "I can't, you know what our situation is. There's no way."

Fili shook his head. "No, you can't put it off. Look at what happened today. And what almost happened. What would you have done if she'd actually fallen?"

Now that was curious. Maybe they weren't talking about what she had thought they were. Today had been no different from usual and she had been very careful to treat Kili the same as everyone else. Feeling suddenly weary and not wanting to hear anymore, she tucked her face back into her knees and let the darkness soothe her. She didn't know if she had drifted off or not, but her attention was suddenly captured by someone calling her name and shaking her gently. Yawning, she raised her head and opened her eyes, only to blush and scramble backwards when she found Kili crouching in front of her.

Grabbing for the shreds of her tattered dignity, she said breathlessly, "Sorry, you just startled me."

His face was bright red as well. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you. I just needed to check. Are you all right?"

She carefully arranged her face into what she privately called her ‘Just Friends with Kili’ expression. She said warmly, "I'm good, thanks. A little shook up, but nothing worse. What about you and Fili?"

He sat down and started absently drawing runes on the floor, not meeting her eyes, "We're good. It's a miracle that we all came through. It was close, too close."

Too exhausted to keep her usual distance, she settled down more comfortably next to him. "Yeah, this is definitely on my list of top ten things to never do again. But imagine the stories that we can tell our grandchildren now."

For some reason, her words made his blush deepen. Too tired to dig into it, she dismissed it. When he didn't speak and seemed to be struggling for words, she searched for something else to ask. "What about Thorin? I'm really thankful that he got to me in time."

Kili scowled, "He shouldn't have said that to you."

She offered him a crooked smile. "He just went through agony thinking that half of the company including his nephew was dead. Yes, he barked at me. But you'll notice that it was after he had saved my life without thinking. I'm going to chalk it up to exhaustion and nerves and leave it at that." He stared at her in disbelief and she shrugged. "I'm too tired to be mad, honestly. So, what can I do for you?"

He clenched and unclenched his fists several times before finally blurting, "I need to talk to you."

She offered him a weary smile, "I'm listening. What's on your mind?"

He started, "Well, after the trolls, and ever since Bag End really, and I wanted to say something at Rivendell, but I'm not really a catch for a dwarf, not like Dwalin or Gloin, but I wanted to, that is, I um."

She reached out and covered his hand with one of her own and was surprised to find that it was shaking. "Take a deep breath." His eyes locked on her face, he did as she said. "Good, another. One more. Now, what's got you tied up in knots? You can just tell me, you know."

Closing his eyes, he took several deep breaths, seeming to just need a moment to order his thoughts. Then he reopened his eyes and focused intensely on her and she felt a shiver run through her. Then he finally spoke, his voice deeper than usual and husky, "When the giant crashed into the mountain today, my heart shattered."

She said quietly, "Of course you'd be worried about your brother."

He shook his head, "No, I mean yes, I was scared to death that something had happened to him, but it wasn't just him. And when I rounded the bend and you weren't there, I nearly lost my mind. If you had fallen, if I had lost you…"

Her traitorous heart leapt but she firmly squashed it. She had had her hopes raised before only to have them be brutally dashed. Instead, she smiled and said warmly, "But I didn't fall and we all made it through ok."

He shook his head sharply and took her hand in a firm but gentle grip. "No, that's not what I'm saying. Ever since the night you opened the door to your home, I've been dazzled and drawn to you. Every little bit I see of you only draws me in further. I know that I'm not really much by dwarven standards, especially not for someone as incredible and beautiful as you, but Belladonna Baggins, I would love to court you, if you will permit it."

She searched his face and he studied hers in turn. She didn't know what nonsense he was spouting about being unsuitable, but his eyes told her clearly that he cared for her. And she realized something else. Despite her absurd, incredibly obvious behavior, he had no idea that she cared for him as well. So she threw her arms around his neck and boldly kissed him.

He froze and she started to pull back, worried that she had somehow read the whole situation wrong, despite his words. This seemed to wake him and he crushed her to him, claiming her lips fiercely with his own. She melted into his kiss and he tugged her gently closer. However, before it could truly ignite, Fili came over and smacked his brother on the back of his head. Kili broke away and whined, "Ow, what was that for?"

Fili said quietly, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth, "A little decorum, if you please. She's not even wearing your braid yet and Uncle's being especially touchy tonight. I'm happy for you and all that, but a little restraint please."

Bella turned beet red and buried her face in her hands. "Just shoot me now, please."

"Come now, Miss Baggins, it's not so bad as all that."

She cracked her hands so that she could peek between her fingers and see the two princes. "Not so bad? Not so bad! Today's been bad. I've been cold and wet and nearly smashed and nearly fell off the mountain, I could've died you know. And then your uncle, the freaking king, had to rescue the poor, sad, incompetent hobbit. And to top it off, the dwarf that I've been creepy crushing/stalking on tells me that he likes me but obviously doesn't know exactly how much of a creeper I am, then his brother catches us in a full out snogging session. Tell me, what's not so bad?"

Both of the princes gaped at her and then Kili gently reached up and pulled her hands down so that he could see her entire face. He said breathlessly, "Is it true?"

Feeling her face heat up even more, she mumbled, "Is what true?"

His whole expression was hopeful, "Is it true that you like me?"

A half a dozen different answers ran through her head but she had to speak the simple truth, "I've been attracted to you since I first met you and head over heels since the trolls. I mean, my awkward crush was painfully obvious, I'm sure. I've been trying to cut back on that, by the way, sorry."

The brothers immediately turned to each other and started arguing back and forth in Khuzdul. She watched them wearily, her fatigue from the tiring day returning. Feeling suddenly thirsty, she dug out her water skin and a bit of cram while the brothers worked out whatever it was that was troubling them. It was almost amusing, one would give a long rambling speech, glancing at her several times before tapering off, then the other one would do the same as well.

Finally, after several minutes of this, she broke in, "If you're going to keep arguing, go back over to your bedrolls. I'm tired and want to rest some time tonight. We'll probably be leaving very early tomorrow to get out of these forsaken mountains and I'm all for it."

Both of them turned to her like they'd forgotten that she was there, exchanging sheepish glances and muttering apologies. She couldn't help smiling at them. She'd come to adore both of them, even if they drove her crazy at times. Kili pouted at her, "But I haven't done your braid yet."

She sighed at that, "Well, do it quickly then or we can leave it until tomorrow. After all, my hair got quite wet tonight and is sure to be challenging."

He shook his head firmly, pulling out a comb, "I would really like to do it tonight, please, Bella?"

She turned her back on him, shaking out her mane. "Very well, but remember that you asked for this."

He immediately started working his fingers gently through her hair to work out the worst tangles before moving onto the comb. The sensation was soothing and she allowed her eyes to flutter closed, lulled by the sensation. Fili had settled down next to them and he murmured quietly, "Kili was always really good at caring for our amad's hair. It's only his own that he doesn't bother with."

Kili grunted but didn't reply, obviously focused on the task in front of him. She said softly, a smile playing around the corners of her mouth, "I remember when I was a faunt, my mother would allow me to brush and play with her hair. It was the prettiest hair that I'd ever seen, so curly and golden. I loved to weave flowers in it, depending on different things I wanted to say that day."

Fili said interestedly, "What do you mean?"

She peeked through her lashes at him and asked him a question instead, "Do certain gems mean certain things to dwarves?"

Fili nodded, "The gem language is very important, you can say a lot with the right gems."

She started to nod and then remembered that Kili was doing her hair. "The same thing goes for hobbits, only with flowers. Friends and family members will often give each other flowers and they play a very important part in hobbit courtship." 

She felt Kili's fingers tense in her hair and Fili frowned, "What if one doesn't have access to the proper flowers?"

She smiled, feeling her cheeks warm, "It's all right, I don't expect a dwarf to court like a hobbit. In fact, I'm quite looking forward to finding out how it goes as we go along. Hobbit courtship is unsurprisingly comprised mainly of food, long walks, and flowers. I haven't the slightest clue what dwarven courting entails. But being as we're on the road and it's getting to know Kili better, to see if we work out, is more important, I'll enjoy whatever happens." She admitted shyly, "I honestly never thought that someone would ever want to court me for just me. I mean, plenty of suitors wanted me for my name or for Bag End, but none of them wanted plain old Bella."

Kili exclaimed, "Then the hobbits must be blind! You're a rare jewel, Mistress Boggins, and should be treasured as such."

Fili chuckled at that, "Kili is right, you know. But it's our gain that your hobbit lads are so blind and stupid."

Feeling herself blush even brighter, she murmured, "I think that the time is long passed for you both to start calling me Bella, don't you think? We are friends after all, are we not?"

Fili nodded while Kili breathed reverently, "Bella then."

She yawned widely then hastily apologized. Fili shook his head, "We are the ones keeping you from your rest. Kee's almost done and then you can sleep."

Resting her head back on her knees, she allowed her eyes to close, the long day catching up to her. She had almost drifted off to sleep when gentle hands coaxed her to lay down and stretch out on her bedroll. She thought that she felt something brush over her forehead, but she was too tired and her eyelids were too heavy for her to open. Then sleep claimed her and she knew no more.


	20. We Need to Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fili/Bella  
> Beorn's house

Bella was sitting on a bench in a sheltered nook in Beorn's garden trying to salvage her clothes while the dwarves were busy training. Judging from the wear and the rather alarming number of rips, the possibility of them being fit for anything besides the rag bag was growing increasingly less likely by the minute. She had just threaded the needle so she could start on the largest rip when Kili approached her, his expression rather troubled.

Wondering what had upset the normally cheerful dwarf, she was about to ask him why he wasn't training with the others when he asked quietly, "May I sit with you a while, Miss Boggins?"

The tease fell flat between them and she said softly, "Of course, Kili. I always have time for you. You seem to have something terribly heavy on your mind, would you like to talk about it? Or if not, we can sit quietly here for a while."

He sat quietly at her feet, plucking absently at the grass, as he seemed to search for something to say, "What are you doing?"

She sighed and showed him the waistcoat that she was attempting to mend, "I'm afraid the our travels have been rather harsh on my hobbit clothes, compared to your sturdier dwarven clothes. They are well made indeed and I'll be happy to mend them if they need any repairs."

He looked at the waistcoat in dismay, exclaiming firmly, "That shall be the first order of business in Erebor, making sure that you are properly outfitted. What will you wear until then?"

She sighed, "I'll patch what I can and Beorn has very generously offered me some cloth should I need it."

Kili nodded, "Get Dori to help you, he's an excellent tailor and will at least help your clothes to stand up somewhat better than your poor hobbit ones did."

She said rather tartly, although there was a teasing lilt in her voice, "That's because hobbits are not made to go on quests or adventures, but are supposed to live comfortable and respectable lives in the shire."

He wrinkled his nose at her words, although his eyes were troubled, "We like you just fine, adventures and all. You're a bonny spirited lass that was just made for quests and adventures."

She couldn't help her rueful smile even as she started to stitch up a hole from a warg tooth that had come a little to close for comfort. "I suppose that's true enough, although I blame it on my mother's side. Very respectable, the Baggins are. Still, someone needs to have some common sense and you lot seem to have little enough of it, so I suppose it's for the best that a sensible hobbit tagged along anyway."

He chuckled at that, but didn't protest. They sat in silence for several minutes before Kili finally scraped up the courage to talk about about what was truly bothering him. He said quietly, "Bella, can I ask you a question?" She hummed agreeably and he started to speak before abruptly changing course and starting with a different question, "Are you spoken for or courting anyone in the Shire?"

She stiffened, an old pain cutting at her at his cautious words. She didn't blame him, he couldn't have known how much his words wounded her, brought up deep hurts that she had long thought forgotten. However, he would only feel bad, so she carefully kept her voice even as she replied, "No, no one in the Shire. Who would possibly want a strange odd spinster like me for a mate anyway. I am content enough with how things are, no need to change anything."

He puzzled that over for several moments before asking, "Do you not wish to wed then? There are dwarves that are craft wed, there's no shame in that."

She jabbed the needle in her thumb at his words and she hastily swallowed a curse and stuck the poor digit in her mouth to soothe it. He hastily apologized, but she waved it off. She sighed, narrowing her eyes at him, "Why are you so fixed on this? I know that you're not interested in me like that and we'd be a poor match anyway, although I care for you like a brother." He just stared at her and she capitulated, "Of course I want to wed, but there was none that would have me, none that I would consider a suitable match anyway. The ones who tried where just after my family name or money, they didn't truly want me. And now you know the truth, poor pitiful Bella, no one will have her."

Kili wrapped his arms around his knees, his expression oddly intent, "Then has my brother somehow managed to offend you?"

She gaped at him, totally lost by the abrupt subject change, and she wondered idly for a moment if she was somehow still lying inside the goblin mountain and had just hallucinated her escape. Picking up her needle and forcing herself to resume her task, she said impatiently, "I don't understand what you're saying. Fili and I are just fine, unless he's upset at me for some reason that I don't know of. He's a good, honorable dwarf, one that anyone would be fortunate to know and a shining example of a dwarf. I don't know where you got the idea that I was upset with him."

Frustration filled his face, "If you are not taken, not craft wed, he has not offended you, and you have no objection and seeming affection for him, why are you spurning his suit?"

She froze, staring at him wide eyed before sputtering, "Suit? What in the world are you speaking of? There is no way that Fili would be interested in me." She muttered under her breath, "No matter how much I might wish otherwise."

Kili threw his hands up and exclaimed in frustration, "Of course he's interested in you, he's been offering you courtship from the first night."

Setting aside her sewing as a lost cause for the moment and focusing intently on Kili, she learned forward slightly and said softly, "I think that you'd better start explaining exactly what you mean by courting and the first night right now."

He swallowed hard but rallied well enough, "Well, he entrusted you with all of his weapons that first night, didn't he? Not only that, but he helped you on and off your pony, hunted food especially for you, made sure that you had a comfortable place by the fire and that your bedroll was set up in the most comfortable area as well as protected from all dangers. Walked and talked with you, made sure to serve you your meals first before he ate."

He absently started braiding some of the grass that he had pulled up, "Not only that, he has been putting himself before you as a potential mate forever. He has hunted for you to show that he can provide for you and any pebbles you might be blessed with. He's trained in front of you to show his prowess at arms as well as show you how he could protect you. He has shown you that he is without flaws and is strong and able to think and plan ahead. He has spoken with you for hours so that he can learn your thoughts and show how he values your ideas and wisdom. He has paid attention to all of your preferences, your likes and dislikes. And each day I have watched him grow more unsure and discouraged. So I have to ask, what is it about my brother that makes him such an unsuitable option that you won't even answer one way or another and put him out of his misery?"

Her face grew darker with every word he spoke and when he finished, she growled, "You are entirely sure of this?"

His reply was filled with exasperation, "Oh yes, I'm very sure of this. I have had to listen to him and I must admit that it upsets me as well."

She stood and stormed towards where the dwarves were training. Kili swore and scrambled to his feet, dashing after her in a vain attempt to do damage control. She stormed out onto the field, ignoring the way the dwarves hastily yanked their weapons out of her way rather ashen faced even as Dwalin cursed. Moving to stand directly in front of a shirtless Fili, she growled, "I need to speak with you. Alone." His eyes were wide and he hesitated, so she growled, "Now!"

She turned and stormed off towards a small copse of trees. He trailed miserably after her, looking like he was heading to his own execution. Kili arrived at that moment and started to go after them, only to be stopped by Dwalin's grip on his arm. "Let 'em go. What was that all about anyway?"

Kili swallowed hard before admitting, "I asked her why she wouldn't accept or reject Fili's suit. She didn't take it well."

Both Thorin and Dwalin cursed and Balin just sighed. The advisor said quietly, "Maybe it's better this way anyway. At least the lad won't be in limbo anymore."

Thorin glared at all of them before standing and heading back towards Beorn's house, "I won't wait here, he deserves to deal with this privately and with dignity. I advise you all do the same as well."

Feeling bad for the young prince, they all did as Thorin suggested and headed back into Beorn's. It would be cruel of them to witness the lad's heartbreak.

X

Bella didn't stop until she was absolutely certain that they were both out of sight and earshot of nosy dwarrow. She turned and faced him, noting the exhausted and resigned expression on his face. She noted that he had been training without his shirt and absently agreed that Kili had been right that his body was without flaws, even counting the bruises and scrapes that littered his torso from their recent adventures. The torso that currently gleamed with a light sheen of sweat from his sparring.

Forcing herself to drag her eyes away from his body (she would definitely revisit it later), she met his stormy blue eyes, sadness lurking in their depths. It upset her that he was so upset and down, but it also gave her a little thrill to know that she had such power over him, that she affected him as much as he affected her. However, before she could go about soothing that sadness, she had to make sure that she truly understood the situation and that Kili hadn't misunderstood somehow.

She demanded bluntly, "Is it true what Kili tells me?"

He fidgeted slightly, although he didn't look away, a point in his favor, "And just what has my brother been telling you, exactly?"

She wasn't willing to shilly shally around the truth, "He said that you've been putting yourself before my eyes as a suitor."

He swallowed hard and nodded firmly, "Yes, although I have come to believe that I am unsuitable in some way in your eyes."

She rolled her eyes, "Ridiculous dwarf, I'm a hobbit. You're perfect, but next time, try using your words."

Without waiting for him to reply, she snagged his mustache braids and pulled him down into a kiss. He froze and she wondered for a split second if she had broken some terrible taboo. Then his arms came around her and he was kissing her back. Sighing happily, she released his braids and brought her hands up to rest lightly on his chest, enjoying the play of hard muscles and warm skin under her hands.

One of his large hands came up to gently cradle the back of her head while the other one went to the small of her back and pulled her gently closer. She slid her hands up his chest, over his shoulders, and up to tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck. Pulling back just enough for her to breathe quickly, she murmured against his lips, "And in case this isn't clear, I find your suit most acceptable."

His eyes were filled with adoration and awe and he murmured, "Are you sure?"

They were going to have to address the uncertainty that her ignorance had caused to fester in him, she pushed up on her toes and claimed his lips again, this one a softer, sweeter claiming than the first one had been. He kissed her back, his kiss just as soft and gentle as hers was and she felt utterly cherished at that moment. Finally they parted with a sigh and she settled back down and leaned her head contentedly against his shoulder. He cradled her tenderly, dropping chaste kisses on her hair.

She said softly, "Fili, I am honored beyond all belief that you wish to court me, even if I cannot for the life of me understand why you want to court me. I am sorry that I hurt you, but I didn't understand what you were trying to do. You're such a sweet, thoughtful dwarf and a wonderful leader, I thought that you were simply watching over me like any other member of the company. To know that it was something more, something special." She felt her cheeks heat but didn't duck her head and try to hide it from Fili, instead offering him a shy smile.

He tilted her chin up with a single finger, his eyes filled with warmth and something more that she wasn't quite willing to put a name to. "I'm glad that you think so, but it never occurred to me that you might not understand, being a hobbit. But know this, Bella, I adore you and I would be honored if you would consider my offer of courtship."

She smiled cheekily up at him, "See, that wasn't so hard, was it? I would love to court you, Fili. However, we'd better go and rejoin the others before they come looking for us, we can sort out all of the misunderstanding bits later." She propped her hands on her hips, ignoring his disappointed sigh, "And don't think that we aren't going to discuss it. We need to get it sorted so that we don't accidentally hurt each other in the future."

He asked hesitantly, "Can I braid your hair first?"

She raised an eyebrow, "Of course, but why?"

This caused one corner of his mouth to kick up in a crooked grin. "Obviously another cultural difference then. The braid will show that we're courting, especially when I clasp it with one of my beads. I'll wear one as well."

She frowned slightly and saw the skin around his eyes tighten in concern. She rested her hand lightly on his chest and soothed, "I'd be proud to wear your braid. But I don't have a bead to clasp your braid."

His face filled with relief and he brushed a curl behind her ear, "I'll just use one of mine for now and after we reclaim Erebor, uncle or one of the others would be happy to craft a bead for you for my braid."

She smiled up at him, "Well, braid away, then. But let's not linger."

He quickly finger combed her hair, silently promising to do a proper job later and swiftly braided her hair, his heart swelling as he clasped it. He started to braid his hair when she stopped him and demanded that he start over and go slow so she could watch what he was doing and so that she could hopefully duplicate it someday. He knew that he was grinning like a loon, but he couldn't stop himself as he did as she requested.

When he finished, she reached up and claimed his lips in a heated kiss. He pulled her closer and deepened the kiss, disbelief and ecstasy swirling through him. After several moments, she pulled back, breathing hard. She was tempted to kiss him again when she saw his expression, but managed to firmly rein herself in. Instead, she turned on her heel and headed back to Beorn's house.

She frowned when she found the clearing empty of dwarves and suddenly realized that she hadn't heard the sound of any sparring at all. Fili scooped up his tunic and slipped it on and she privately mourned the loss of the view for a minute before returning to her puzzlement. She asked softly, "Where is everyone?"

Carefully straightening his appearance, Fili said absently, "They probably thought that you were going to reject me and wanted to give me as much dignity as they could."

Rolling her eyes, she reached out and grabbed his hand, towing him after her, "Well, they are fools and we'll just have to set them straight, won't we? What lass in her right mind would turn you down? Seriously, men."

He laced his fingers together with hers, still feeling rather stunned by the swift turn everything had taken. They found the company in Beorn's main hall, silent with serious miens as they worked on tending their clothes and weapons. They looked up to see if they needed to calm an irate hobbit or commiserate with a downcast Fili, only for their jaws to drop as a determined Bella marched in towing Fili who was wearing a rather dazed expression.

While they gaped, she met each of their gazes deliberately before turning and pulling him down into a searing kiss before pulling back and saying, "In case any of you were wondering, Fili and I are officially courting. Now that we've gotten that cleared up, I'm going to go see if I can find the cloth the Beorn promised me because if I don't have some clean clothes soon, I'm going to be very unhappy."

Despite her curt words, she stretched up and placed a tender kiss on Fili's cheek before flouncing off. The other dwarves just stared after her before turning back and examining Fili's dazed expression. It was Thorin that that broke the silence, a chuckle escaping him as he said, "Well, we had thought to give you space to grieve your rejection, but that appears to be rather unnecessary now, sister son."

This seemed to draw him back to reality and he grinned at Thorin, "She said yes, uncle."

This caused the whole company to roar with laughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Food for thought, as I wrote this, Fili said that Thorin or one of the company would craft a bead for Bella to give to Fili. I've never thought about it, but why can't Fili just craft his own bead? What are your thoughts on this matter? Is it ok for a dwarf to craft their own beads or does it have to be done by someone else?
> 
> Praying for peace, truth, and strength.
> 
> We are strong together!
> 
> #cancelnetflix


	21. Instincts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fili/Bella  
> Post BOTFA
> 
> Happy Halloween!

Bella nibbled happily at the meat pie in her hand, humming happily as the flavors filled her mouth. Bombur surely had a gift when it came to cooking, the pastry was buttery and flaky and the meat tender and flavorful. The rotund dwarf would have made an excellent hobbit. She snagged a second one from the platter in the company's dining room before wandering into the hall.

She had the afternoon off, a rare occurrence indeed, especially with all the work that was going into restoring Erebor. So what was she going to do with all of her free time. Her thoughts turned to her mate, her sunny hardworking dwarf. She hadn't had a chance to spend quality time with him lately and had been missing him something fierce. Not to mention that he had been acting a little bit odd lately, quiet and distant instead of his normally cheerful self.

If she didn't know better, she would almost think that he had lost interest in her, was pulling away. She shook her head to clear that thought. He was a truehearted devoted dwarf and he wouldn't stray from their courtship. Still, something had been weighing on his mind, most likely his brother's unhappiness at missing his mate. Bella rolled her eyes at that, just because Tauriel was an elf and Kili was a dwarf meant nothing compared to the fact that they were mates, even a blind and nose dead person could see it clearly. She would cheer Fili up and reassure him that everything was going to be ok.

Feeling happier, she set off and sought her mate. She prowled through the mountain, towards where the scribes and record keepers’ offices were. Fili had been spending more time in this area lately, undoubtedly a side effect of all the paperwork that came with ruling a mountain. And indeed, there he was, standing much too close to a burly redheaded dam. If you went by dwarven standards, she would be considered quite a beauty.

Swallowing the growl lurking at the back of her throat, she trusted Fili, she did! Bella called lightly, "Fili, there you are!" She swiftly jogged over to his side, standing closer than was really deemed polite, not that Bella cared.

Fili smiled happily, although his eyed looked tired and, concerned? (Why would his eyes be concerned?) He said quietly, "Bella, this is Frieda, she's a dam that's in charge of making sure that all the seals are just so and that incoming message are authentic."

Knowing that it was an important position but not caring, her hackles on edge from Fili's strange behavior, she forced herself to say politely, "Charmed. I'm sure that you are excellent at your job."

The dam beamed brightly at that and Bella felt her stomach twist, especially when Fili reached out and took the dam's hand and said, "Congratulations are in order, Frieda just agreed to court me."

Bella just stared disbelievingly back and forth between them, unable to fathom what he was saying. Moistening her suddenly dry lips, she asked, "What do you mean?"

Fili frowned at her, uncertain why she wasn't wishing him well, "I asked her and she agreed to court me."

A mirthless laugh escaped Bella and fell flatly to the floor, "No, you misunderstand me. I don't understand how you can offer her courtship when we're already courting."

Shock covered both dwarves face and Fili exclaimed, "We're not courting" at the same time the dam spit venomously, "You lying little hussy."

Feeling her heart break, her mate had just indeed rejected her clearly, she had thought they had reached an understanding months ago, Bella did what any self-respecting Took would do. She slapped Fili across the face so hard he fell, before turning and kicking the dam in the stomach, listening in satisfaction as the air was forced out of her in a noisy rush before kicking her legs out from under her and sending her sprawling on the unforgiving stone as well.

A menacing growl rattled out of her and she turned on her heel and stalked away from the dwarf that still held her heart, even if it was now shattered in a million tiny shards in his hands. She didn't hear if he called after her or what had happened, her head filled with the damning words, ‘we're not courting’, again and again.

Somehow, without realizing it, she found her way outside, into the fresh air and sunshine. Blinking, she looked around, feeling suddenly vulnerable and exposed. Not seeing any viable options where she could hide and lick her wounds in peace, she felt her frustration grow as she turning to head back into Erebor, only to pause when she examined the mountain itself. There, about a third of the way up, was a ledge that she should be able to get to and best of all, no irritating dwarves should be able to reach it.

Relief and determination warring in her, she made her way to the mountain and quickly started scaling it, ignoring the surprised looks from the guards. It was none of their business anyway, even if they did go and tattle to Dwalin right away, there was no way for the dwarves to reach her. After only a few minutes, she reached her goal, a wide sunny ledge that was mostly hidden from view below.

Making sure that she was concealed from sight, she curled into a tiny ball and allowed the sobs that had been choking her since Fili had said the unforgivable out and allowed her hot tears to carry her broken heart out into the light.

* * *

She didn't know how long she sobbed, just that she’d cried until her stomach hurt from the weeping and her eyes burned drily, all of the tears spent, for the moment at least. After she finished crying, she lay there curled up in a ball, her mind blank. She heard dwarves bellowing at what she assumed was her, but she didn't bother to respond, her voice would be little more than a croak anyway and they wouldn't be able to hear it as far below as they were.

Finally, her muscles started cramping, so she reluctantly stretched out, moving out a bit more into the sun instead of the shadowed dimness that the mountain had afforded her. Her hair got caught on the rock below and she snarled, yanking out a dagger to cut it off, what did it matter anyway? However, when she touched her hair, she hesitated. Even if Fili had forsaken her, the others were still her family and they had often admired her hair. It wouldn't do to hurt them like that.

She scowled and set the knife aside and stretched fully out in the sun, closing her eyes and allowing the gentle warmth to soothe her. It was early enough in the year that the sun was merely warm and not the burning heat of summer, the stone radiated it back up, causing her to melt in relaxation. She had almost dozed off when she heard a low curse in Khuzdul and the sound of small rocks falling as a dwarf scrambled clumsily up onto the ledge.

Bella cracked an eyelid but didn't bother stirring or opening her eyes entirely as she recognized the voice as Ori's. His face was rather pale and sweaty, and he started to scold her, only to snap his mouth shut when she huffed a sigh and opened her eyes to look at him fully. His eyes darted around, taking in everything, from her reddened eyes and tear stained face to the dagger lying right next to her unbraided hair, and he swallowed hard.

She sighed and levered herself into a sitting position, leaving the dagger and scooting backwards to lean against Erebor. Ori joined her carefully, his hand flashing out and snatching up the dagger in a quick move that Nori must have taught him. He sat and leaned against the wall as well, fairly close to her but not so close that she would feel crowded, something that she really appreciated at the moment.

He slipped off a pack that she hadn't noticed before and offered it to her. She hesitated and Ori said quietly, "Bombur insisted that I bring you this."

She took it and flipped it open, asking hoarsely, "How'd you draw the short straw of checking on me?"

He shook his head, "Everyone wanted to come, make sure that you're ok. However, only Dori and I have the strength to climb this mountain and Dori just doesn't have the limberness to do it as well. That left just me, but don't think for a moment that the others aren't plotting a way up here right now."

She scowled, but it lacked any real heat. Finding a flask filled with cool water, she drank deeply before replying, "I'm fine, there's no need for anyone to come up after me, and that includes you. I'm just fine."

Ori rolled his eyes in a manner that would have made Nori proud, "Bella, you took out two dwarves before fleeing Erebor and then climbing Erebor. That seems to indicate that you are not fine at all."

She found the clean rag that Bombur had provided and used it gratefully to tidy her face and rest the damp cloth across her swollen eyes, the relief from the painful stinging causing her to relax slightly. She shrugged, finally choosing to reply to Ori, "It was a heat of the moment thing, I most likely won't do it again. And I would've come down on my own, eventually. There is no need to fret or come after me, especially as you're so uncomfortable with heights."

Ori reached over and very carefully squeezed Bella's hand, his voice low and soothing, "Bella, you're family, there's nothing that we wouldn't do for you."

She sighed, allowing the corners of her mouth to tilt up slightly, and pushed up the rag enough so that she could see him, "I know that, Ori, and I appreciate it. But I just needed a quiet place to patch myself up and piece myself back together."

He eyed her and asked cautiously, "Are you hurt?"

She shook her head, ignoring the tear trickling down her face, "Only my heart and that will mend in time. I thought." She cut herself off, the small smile falling from her face as she said curtly, "Well, obviously, I thought wrong. I wish I could say that I would react differently if I found out again, but I find that I do not regret my actions in the least. And if people are upset that I struck both a dam and the crown prince, they can just deal with it."

Ori chuckled at that, "Oh no, many think that you are too merciful. Frieda went whining to Oin that you'd broken her ribs, but he merely declared them bruised and sent her on her way. She's vowed to stay far, far away from psycho hobbits."

Bella felt her hands curl into fists but said mildly, "I can't say that I'm disappointed to hear that. If I see her again, I'd be tempted to shave her bald. Best for all concerned that we don't see each other, for the next several weeks at least. I can't promise what I'll do otherwise."

Ori said carefully, his curiosity obviously warring with both his caution and his need to comfort the dam he considered a sister. Finally, his need to know won out, and he really did to know anyway so that he could care for Bella, "Are you sure that you're quite all right. I understand that you are upset, but you seem, rather, bloodthirsty, unlike the gentle hobbit lass that you usually are."

Bella actually chuckled at that, her eyes feeling better enough that she removed the rag entirely, "Ah, that's because I'm a Took and that dam took my mate from me." The word mate was hissed, but her anger eased and her expression turned sad, "Although I guess he never really was mine anyway."

Trying to steer her away from Fili, at least for the moment, he asked, "What does being a Took have to do with anything?"

"Do you remember how Beorn called me a little bunny?"

Unsure of where she was going with this abrupt change of subject, he scowled but nodded, "Yes, which was very rude of him."

She shook his head, "Actually, it was very civil of him. Long ago, the skin changers and hobbits lived in peace. Hobbits once even had the ability to shift forms like they did, although that gift has long been lost to us. Still, we retain some of the animal traits, even though we cannot shift. Most hobbits have prey like instincts, simple animals that like peace and safety. However, the Took line has ever tended to the more exotic or even predator type animals. Bunny was a skin changer diminutive of the kind of predator that I am, although I can't remember what the precise term would be anymore. You might even know it, it is a large cat that is said to prowl in the mountains. I've only ever seen pictures of it, but it was said to have a tawny coat. The hobbitish term wouldn't do you any good either."

Taking in her hair and those amazing golden-brown eyes, it brought to mind a creature that he had only seen once, it's power, might, and gracefulness leaving him in awe even days later. He murmured, "Mountain lion, also known as a puma or cougar."

Bella grinned at him, "That sounds right. Mountain lion." She thought it over carefully, "I like the sound of that."

He stared at her, excitement and disbelief warring in him, "You can't be serious? Why didn't you ever say anything?"

She shrugged daintily, "It sounds crazy if you're not a hobbit. And it didn't really have relevance for anything, at least until..." She waved the thought away irritably and dug through the bag, humming happily when she found the meat pies that Bombur had included for her.

Ori sighed, shifting uncomfortably, "We'll talk more about that later, definitely. But Bella, what can we do about everything?"

She sighed, looking fondly at the young dwarf that she had come to consider a brother, "There's nothing to do, Ori. Things happened the way that they did. It will be awkward for a while, but I will come down and although I will avoid _him_ for a good bit, things will go back to normal. And once my instincts have had a few months to settle down, I'll probably be able to hold a civil conversation with him. It will take time, but it's not like we don't have plenty of it after all. Someday, we might even look back at this and laugh."

Ori said awkwardly, "Why are you so upset, it's not like you two were officially courting or anything? I'm not saying that you aren't hurt, but I didn't think that there was anything between you."

Bella swallowed hard, the meat pie suddenly sitting like lead in her stomach. She said distantly, "I thought that we were, I thought that we had reached an understanding, that we were just waiting for things to settle down. He's my mate." She swallowed hard again, "For dwarves, he's my One." She pulled her knees up and buried her face in them, her voice cracking, "Go away, Ori, I'll be down later, don't fret. Right now, I just need to be alone."

She felt him reach for her and couldn't stop the small growl that slipped from her. He hesitated but scraped up his courage and laid his hand gently on her shoulder for just the barest of moments before making his way back over to the edge and leaving as she had requested. She sighed, she would have to apologize later for that, Ori really was a sweet dwarf. She sighed again, the day had started off so well too, but at least she wasn't missing any work by being up here for the moment, that was a small blessing at least.

* * *

The company watched anxiously as Ori scaled down the mountain, alone. That wasn't the plan, he was supposed to go up and fetch Bella and bring her down where they could fix this mess. Fili was pacing anxiously, his gaze fixed on the empty looking ledge while Kili hovered near him, his own expression a mixture of hardness and concern.

When Ori's feet hit the ground, he shot Fili a hard look and turned away from the prince that he normally considered his best friend, taking several steps away from him. The company looked between the two, startled, but neither Ori nor Fili said anything, although Fili's hands curled into fists at his sides. It was Dwalin who broke the silence, "Well, is she coming down?"

Ori shook his head, "She'll be down when she's ready and I'm not going to force her."

Dwalin just grunted when he heard that, "Is the lass hurt? Is that why she's not coming down?"

Ori growled, his eyes narrowed, "Physically, she's fine. However, her heart is broken. She was rejected by her One and since she's a hobbit along with some other things, it led her to take it rather badly. It will take a long time for her to heal, but she said that she will, eventually. Until then, she wants to see neither Fili nor Frieda, said that she'd most likely shave Frieda if she saw her."

All of them pivoted and looked at Fili. Fili said desperately, "I can't be her One, she's never responded to any of my courting overtures. I know that people are getting antsy about the security of the mountain and the line of Durin, especially with the increasing skirmishes that we've been fighting lately. I figured that if I started courting, it would calm things down a bit. Frieda is an unpleasant dam, it's true, but if she's entrusted with the seals she should at least do for the moment. No one that I marry will hold my heart anyway, since my One rejected me."

Ori gaped at him before saying, "You are talking about Bella, right?"

Fili rolled his eyes but nodded sharply once, before his gaze was drawn inexorably back to the ledge that still appeared empty. Ori muttered, "That doesn't make any sense, she's under the impression that the two of you had been courting and had reached an understanding, that you two were just waiting for things to settle down before settling down."

Fili roared and punched the mountain, "It doesn't make any sense! I would know if we had, but neither do I think that she's lying."

Balin said diplomatically, saying what they all were thinking, "I think that there's been a cultural misunderstanding here somewhere. She's your One?" Fili nodded broodingly. "And the lass has intimated that you are her One."

Ori interrupted, "Mate. She called him her mate. But she did say that the dwarven equivalent would be Ones."

Balin stroked his beard thoughtfully, "All right, here's what we're going to do. Ori and I are going to go and scour the library, see if we can find any information about hobbits or hobbit courting. The rest of us will go about our days and leave the lass alone. She's safe enough up there, although you can set a guard, if you want, nadad. Once we find or know more, we'll send for all of you at once."

Fili clenched his hands even tighter, his voice low and intense, "I can't do that. She's up there hurting right now, thinking that I rejected her."

Ori shook his head, "If you went up there right now, she'd toss you right off the mountain. She wouldn't truly hear a word that you would say to her. Just give us a little bit of time to find some information, and then you can approach her if we haven't found anything by sunset."

Fili growled, "Until sunset. I'll be in my rooms. If it concerns Bella, tell me immediately, otherwise leave me alone." He marched into the mountain, his face both drawn and determined. Kili started to go after him before shaking his head and disappearing into the mountain himself, turning a different way than the way that Fili had. The others let the princes go, arrangements were quickly made and then they separated to pursue their tasks.

* * *

It took a little over an hour for Kili to reappear at the gate of the mountain. He had all sorts of gear in his hands and the guards snickered at him, but he ignored them, determination written plainly on his face. Strapping on the tools, he started carefully ascending the mountain to his goal. It took him over half an hour and several near misses before he finally managed to pull himself up on the ledge and flop onto his back, breathing heavily.

His vision of the blue sky was abruptly blotted out by a frowning Bella, "Kili, are you all right?"

He wheezed, "Just give me a moment. Don't know how you managed to get up here, crazy hobbit. Need to catch my breath and I'll be right as rain."

The concern eased from her face and she eased back slightly, a tiny grin curving up her mouth. She said lightly, "I came up here to avoid dwarves and so far, I have been invaded by two. I suppose you'll want to make up some sort of song about me next, like you did at Bag End."

A slight chuckle escaped him before he had to gulp another lungful of air. When he finally managed to catch his breath, he heaved himself up to a sitting position and looked around for Bella. The hobbit lass was sitting leaning back against Erebor, an inquisitive look on her face. He grumbled, "Why can't you hide in a room like a normal person?"

She offered him a tiny, crooked smile, "Because Nori can usually break into a locked room and I didn't want to deal with a bunch of nosy dwarves."

He gave her a wry grin, "There is that."

She said tiredly, "Why did you climb all the way up here, I told Ori that I would be down before sunset. I'm sure that your mother has taught you to leave an upset dam in peace."

Kili shook his head, "No, it is our privilege to protect our dams and watch out for them no matter what. The idea of you up here distressed and alone is extremely anxiety inducing to us dwarrow. So I'm just going to sit up here with you and if you wanna talk, that's fine, if not, we'll just sit here."

She said quietly, a hint of bitterness lacing her voice, "Shouldn't you be with Fili? I don't wanna drive a wedge between the two of you, you're brothers after all."

Kili just shrugged, "I'd rather be with you and he would be the first to send me to you. Besides, you are very precious to all of us. You've been there for us time and time again, let me be there for you."

Bella sighed, tucking a curl absently behind her ear, "I don't know if I should be pleased or upset that Tauriel has helped you to mature and settle. All right, you didn't climb all the way up here for no reason. What do you want to know?"

Kili fidgeted, rearranging himself so that he was sitting more comfortably and so that he could see her easily. He held up a hand to stop her when she went to speak, "I'm trying to find a way to word this that will make sense to you."

Her eyes softened slightly, turning sad, "You want to know why I thought that Fili and I had an understanding."

Kili nodded, "I believe you when you say that you had an understanding with Fee, but he wasn't aware of it and I think that he's being truthful too. So I just want to know what happened, where the miscommunication occurred."

She sighed, "I guess I never took into account cultural differences. You see, hobbits are very close to their instincts, when we find our mates, that's pretty much it."

Kili wrapped his arms around his knees, "Mates are Ones, right?" She nodded. "When did you first realize that Fili was your mate?"

Her eyes grew distant, "I was drawn to him the moment I first saw him, like the world was somewhat brighter because he was there. But it wasn't until the trolls happened that I realized what he was to me. When all of you burst into the clearing to rescue me, it was like he shone in the firelight and I just knew, that he was the one, my other half. However, things happened after that, as you well know and it wasn't until Rivendell that I had time to sit and realize what truly happened. That's why I was late to dinner that night, I was primping in the hopes of drawing his attention. But that night was just insane and I don't think I made an impression, at all."

Kili chuckled at that, "Oh, trust me, you made an impression all right. He couldn't stop stealing glances at you all through dinner and then wouldn't shut up about how pretty you'd looked and why couldn't hobbits have braids to let dwarrow know whether or not you were available."

Her expression lightened slightly at that before falling again. "Well, after that, I decided to go ahead and court him. I started by asking him for a walk and he agreed. We spent a lot of time just walking around Rivendell, talking and getting to know each other. I felt like we were making progress. After Rivendell, I made sure to bring him his food as much as possible, to stand watch with him and guard his back, to share his tasks with him so that he wasn't shouldering the load alone. However, we didn't reach an understanding until Mirkwood. It was there, in the dungeons. He told me to save myself and I refused. I told him that we would get out together or die trying and he repeated it back to me. To me, it was a vow to live or die together. I thought that it was his tacit agreement that if we both survived everything, then we would be betrothed and would be together, after everything."

She clenched and unclenched her fists several times. "Well, you know how chaotic everything was after that. And then I almost died and then he almost died and everything else happened. Well, I didn't have a chance to revisit it until today. That was, until I saw him and he told me that he was dating that troll. That hurt, a lot. I guess dwarves court differently?"

He rubbed the back of his head, "Yeah, dwarven courting is quite a bit more formal, with all sorts of declarations and gifts. And I think that you simplified your courting quite a bit, didn't you?"

She shrugged, "It's hobbit stuff, things that wouldn't make a lot of sense to anyone, it's very instinctual all around, actually."

Kili nodded thoughtfully, "Ah, that makes sense. You know how hotheaded dwarrow are?" She chuckled at that. "Well, consent is very important to us. That's why we have such elaborate contracts and rules about verbal consent and how the dams take the lead. Whereas you, sweet little hobbit lass that you are, seem to run entirely on emotion and instinct, although that it was saved us for large portions of the quest. So we need to figure out how to get this mess straightened out, because both you and Fee are miserable and Fili's an idiot to boot. He sought to court a dam not his One because he believed that his One did not want him and thought that it was better that he sacrifice himself with an unpleasant dam to reassure the mountain."

She went very still at that, her voice eerily calm, "And what, exactly, do you mean by that?"

Kili swallowed hard, "Well, there's been some muttering around the mountain. Yes, Erebor has been reclaimed, but you know how we all almost died in the battle?" She scowled darkly at that and he hurried to add, "Anyway, they've been talking about how the line of Durin would be continued if something happened to all of us. I mean, there is Dain, but no one really wants him or his son on the throne since they're from the Iron Hills and that's where they belong. Since uncle is craft wed and Tauriel and I are Ones and it is unacceptable for an elf to be on the throne, it fell to Fili to start courting to reassure the mountain and since you didn't want him, he chose a respectable if unlikable dam to start courting."

She reached out and snagged his braid that marked him as part of the line of Durin and pulled him down until his face was mere centimeters from hers, "And how, pray tell, does he know that I didn't want him if he didn't bloody bother talking to me?"

Kili swallowed hard and squeaked, "Since you never offered him courtship even after he made his suitability and availability clear?"

She snarled, "Is that a question or an answer?" Releasing his braid, she growled, "Never mind, doesn't matter. Bloody, stone headed dwarves who can't seem to figure out what is perfectly clear and right in front of their blind as a bat nose. Bloody royal idiots, the lot of you!" She stood and made her way over to the edge, flipping around and making her way off of the ledge.

Kili cried, "Bella! What are you doing?"

Her eyes were molten gold when she met his, "I'm going to go hunt down that idiot One of mine and set him straight. And then he is going to grovel for a good long time for making me so upset. After that, who knows."

Kili watched her scale down the mountain as easily as she had scaled it and sighed, muttering under his breath as he set about preparing to climb back down the mountain. Dwarves were not created to clamber up and down mountains like this, Fili so owed him big time for everything that he'd done.

* * *

Fili was at his desk, trying fruitlessly for the dozenth time to find the words to tell Bella what was going on, to explain what had happened and why. However, the words just wouldn't come, nothing sounding right as he tried to justify to his heart why he had even contemplated courting another. As much as he had a dozen good reasons, none of them were truly good enough, especially after Ori had told him how red her eyes had been. That and he still remembered the stinging blow to his left cheek. He chuckled ruefully as he carefully traced his cheek.

His One was a fierce little thing, once they had managed to draw her out of her shell, and did not suffer fools willingly. And how would he have reacted had she introduced him to some dwarf that she had agreed to court. He thunked his forehead down on his desk, groaning internally, he had the feeling that he would've reacted much worse than she had and that his rival wouldn't have been able to walk away with only mild bruising.

A pounding on his door drew his attention and he straightened up and growled. If it was Dwalin, Kili, or Dori coming to reproach him for his actions, they could just go deal with themselves. He had more pressing matters to deal with. The person outside his door pounded again and he climbed to his feet, muttering threats under his breath.

He yanked the door open and was about to demand what they wanted when the words died in his throat. Bella was standing there, her eyes flashing brightly. He stammered, "Bella, what?"

However, she stepped forward, grabbed his braids, and yanked him down into a searing kiss. Before he could react or respond, she pulled back and snarled, "You are mine, do you understand? I don't care what damn self-sacrificing notion you got into your head, but get rid of it this minute. We've done enough for Erebor, got rid of a dragon, by all that's holy, you owe them nothing more. Now, why don't we talk about what we do and do not know about courting."

He suddenly unfroze, grabbing her and yanking her into his room, slamming the door behind her and pressing her back up against it. Before she could say a word, he swooped down and claimed her lips. If this was some sort of hallucination or fever dream, he was going to take advantage of every moment of it, the dream of having his One is his arms, truly loving him back. It was almost too much for a dwarf to bear.

She reached up and tangled her fingers in his hair, pushing up into him while simultaneously tugging on his hair to pull him closer and parting her lips to invite him to deepen the kiss. Awash in sensation, he did as she invited, sweeping in and groaning when he tasted her, something sweet and smokey and uniquely her. It was only when she nipped at his lips instead of starting to fade that he started to realize that this might not all just be his imagination.

It took all of his will power to pull back, his muscles trembling from the strain, he said hoarsely, "Bella, no, wait?"

Her lips were thoroughly kissed and her chest heaving, even as she frowned up at him, "Fili, why? It better not be any nonsense and you'd better not be trying to deny the fact that I'm your One."

He shook his head before pressing his forehead gently to hers, "Bella, amralime, no. I would never deny you, you are my very heartbeat, the air I need to breathe. But you hated me, you repudiated me and ran. I don't even know how I can begin to make amends for such heartache."

She rolled her eyes fondly at that and said firmly, "Start by not being such an idiot and trying to court others so those stupid gossips won't fret. Next, kiss me again. Then, we can go for a walk and you can explain exactly what dwarven courting entails. And if I see you so much as glance at another dam, I reserve the right to smack some sense into you."

He chuckled, warmth and happiness washing over him as he pulled her close, burying his face into her hair. He muttered, "I can live with that."

Wrapping her own arms around him, she melted into him, breathing in his scent deeply and allowing it to soothe her. She murmured back, "You'd better, because I don't plan on letting you go, ever."

He pressed a gentle kiss to her curls before pulling back just enough to see her beautiful eyes, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, no idea where this little one shot came from. However, sassy forceful Bella was very fun to write.
> 
> Praying for peace, understanding, and unity!
> 
> We are strong together!


	22. The Only One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fili/Bella  
> Post-BOTFA

Bella stared at her fiancé as he ran across the entryway to scoop up a dam and twirl her around, laughing brightly, before setting her down and pressing his forehead gently to hers. She would have known if this was kin to him, or a dear friend that he had wanted to see was arriving on this caravan, because he would've told her or one of the others would have. It had taken some getting used to, the openness of dwarves compared to hobbits, well, once you had been accepted into their circle, that is. So yes, she would've known if someone of that closeness to Fili was due to arrive. She felt her stomach drop down to her large, furry toes. The dam was definitely gorgeous by dwarven standards, something that she had come to be aware of.

As if he had felt her gaze upon him, Fili looked up and over at her, his face turning bone white and his eyes widening in shock. Feeling her heart sink even lower and vaguely nauseous, she turned and fled, unable to bear whatever it was that he might've told her. She heard him shout for her to stop, to wait, but kept running. Kili had spoken about Ones, so being a curious hobbit, she had sought out Ori recently and asked him about it. He had explained that Ones were soulmates, literally the other half of a dwarf's soul, one that they would recognize on sight. Was this dam Fili's One?"

Too confused with an aching heart, she didn't even pay attention to where she ran, only that it was away from Fili. At some point, she must've slipped on her little ring, although she couldn't remember when. It was only when she slipped and fell into icy water that she was drawn from her headlong flight. Hurriedly pulling herself from the water and wringing out her clothes, she looked around dazedly. It was quiet where she was at, she was apparently the only one in this area. Once she was sure that she was alone, she fumbled off the ring and shoved it in her pocket.

Looking around, the cavern was brightly lit with glowing mushrooms, she was faintly reminded on Gollum's underground lake. Pushing that thought aside, she tried to figure out where she was. From what little she knew about Erebor, she was most likely in the depths of the mountain somewhere. Quite deep if she couldn't hear any dwarven voices or sounds at all. Staggering over to a tiny alcove, she curled into a tiny ball, shivering violent from her icy dunking. Roughly pushing a sodden curl out of her face, she tried to figure out what had happened and what Fili might've told her, if anything.

She shouldn't have run, she knew that, but it was like her body had a mind of its own and wouldn't listen to her. And it made no sense, his reaction. Why would he turn pale if he wasn't guilty of something. Now, it might be that the whole situation looked worse that it was, but on the other hand, he could've paled because the situation was exactly what it looked like. Her thoughts warred back and forth as she became increasingly numb. She knew that she should get up and move around, try to dry out a little bit and get warm, but she couldn't seem to muster up the energy to move.

Her thoughts were getting increasingly distant and she couldn't really register her limbs anymore when she foggily heard the sound of running boots. She knew that she should be upset or concerned that someone had found her, maybe even happy, but she just couldn't dredge up the energy. She heard someone curse in Khuzdul, then something heavy was draped over her while someone called her name frantically.

Prying her eyes open, she squinted to make out the dwarf in front of her. Blond hair and worried blue eyes stared back at her. She slurred out, "Fee'i, foun' me."

He cupped her face gently, or at least she assumed it was gently, her skin was too numb to actually feel his touch. He hissed, his eyes darkening in horror, "Mahal! Bella, your skin is like ice. Just hold on, stay awake, I'm gonna get you somewhere safe and warm. Why did you run, love?"

He scooped her up as if she weighed as little as a feather. Too confused to figure out what he was talking about and too tired to try to decipher it, she rested her head against his chest and passed out, unknowing of his frantic cries of her name or of him pleading for her to just hang on. Nor did she hear the concerned questions of the company as they joined him when word got out that she had been found. She didn't wake when Oin examined her or when Dis stripped her out of her sodden garments and placed her in a dry shift before tenderly tucking her into bed. And she still didn't wake, even when Fili held her hand and begged for her to wake up, to open her beautiful eyes, and just let him explain. That it wasn't what she had thought, that it was all a misunderstanding, that if she would just wake up, he would explain everything.

* * *

Bella woke slowly, feeling uncomfortably warm, which was confusing in and of itself. She usually found the mountain on the cooler side, so why did she feel like she was roasting alive? Had she gone outside Erebor and fallen asleep in the sun somewhere? But one of the dwarves would've woken her long before that could've happened. Speaking of which, it felt like there was something heavy laying across her. She went to shove it off of her, only to be stopped by something that felt like a vice grip on her hand. Now she was really puzzled.

Prying open her eyes, and why did they feel like they were made of lead, she looked slowly around. The familiar view of her bedroom met her eyes, although she didn't remember turning in the day before, which reminded her, her hand. Turning her head, she found Fili had her hand in a tight grip, although he appeared to be asleep leaning on the edge of the bed, a frown line between his brows indicating that his sleep was an uneasy one.

The day before suddenly came back to Bella. Her seeing Fili and the dam together and fleeing, getting lost, falling into icy water, and then it got cloudy after that, although she seemed to remember Fili finding her. He must've had Erebor's help, because Bella had been so lost that she would've had no idea where she was, let alone anyone else easily finding her.

A bead of sweat rolled down her face, reminding her that she was roasting alive under the pile of blankets that they had apparently heaped on her. Which, given how blurry her thoughts were, had probably been something that had saved her life. Using her free had, she shoved the top couple of blankets off, immediately feeling cooler. However, the motion woke Fili where her earlier tug hadn't and he shot to a sitting position, his eyes frantic.

When he saw that she was awake, he froze, looking her over carefully. Finally, he huffed out a tiny sigh of relief. Reaching over and carefully, delicately, pushing a curl out of her eyes with a hand that trembled, as if she was crafted of the finest porcelain, he said softly, "Your lips aren't blue anymore."

She said just as softly, "My lips were blue?"

He nodded, holding onto her hand fractionally tighter, "Yes, they were blue, your skin was so pale and icy, and you were barely breathing. Then you passed out and wouldn't wake up. Please, please, don't ever scare me like that again. My heart can't take it. March straight up to me and slap me or get any one of the company to do it for you, but please, please, don't endanger yourself like that."

She tipped her head slightly as she admitted, "I didn't mean to this time. I wasn't watching where I was running and I fell into the lake."

He paled at this, undoubtedly all the different scenarios of how she could've been hurt running through his mind. She sighed and admitted, "I shouldn't have run, or I should've retreated to my chambers and regrouped. I don't even know why I ran." She frowned and shook her head abruptly, "No, that's not true. I ran because I was afraid. Afraid of what you were going to tell me if we spoke. So I ran, to delay the inevitable, I suppose."

He moved from the chair to perch on the bed, his expression puzzled and slightly fearful, although he didn't let go of her hand, "And what have I done that you would be fearful of my words?"

She moved to sit up and he let go of her hand reluctantly and helped prop her up against the headboard, carefully layering pillows behind her so that she was comfortable. She forced herself to say, "I was talking with Ori."

A corner of his mouth kicked up in an involuntary grin and she raised an eyebrow questioningly at him. He said quietly, "Ori is usually not the dwarf at the root of any mischief, usually that's Bofur or Nori."

She couldn't help but smile slightly at that, that was true. She said firmly, "I was talking with Ori. You see, Kili has been using a term lately that I was unfamiliar with, so I went to Ori for clarification. Ori explained that Ones are crafted by Mahal for you, literally the other half of your soul, and that you would recognize them on sight." He stirred restlessly but didn't interrupt her. "Also, none of you had mentioned kin coming or close friends. So when I saw you greet that dam, I couldn't help but believe that you had found your One. However, my heart wasn't ready to accept that, I wanted to hold onto the dream of us for a little bit longer, and so I ran."

He let out a ragged breath and pressed his forehead firmly to hers, a fine trembling running through him, "My foolish, foolish lass. You are my heart, my everything, my One. I meant to tell you, but it seemed like hobbits don't have Ones, so I didn't want to scare you away. I should've told you ages ago and my lack caused you great distress and hurt."

Relief crashed through her and she was about to hug him when she suddenly remembered something and frowned, "If that's the case, why did you pale when you saw me?"

He grimaced, his hands resting lightly on her arms, "You'd looked like you'd been stabbed through the heart. You had no color in your face and your eyes were as large as those little saucers you favor and filled with devastation. I didn't know what had happened, but I knew that it was horrible and that I needed to get to your side as soon as possible. But then you ran. It took me hours to find you, and then you were so cold, pale and unresponsive. I was terrified that I was going to lose you, for a reason that I didn't even understand. Oin said that you would be all right, that we just had to get you warmed up and let you rest, but every moment that you didn't wake was agony."

Reeling slightly at all the news, she gently cupped Fili's face and pressed back tentatively against his forehead, closing her eyes halfway as she tried to process it all. Finally she reopened her eyes fully to find him still watching her patiently. She said softly, "I'm so sorry that I scared you, I never meant for that to happen. And Oin was right, you found me in time and I'm going to be all right, I promise you."

She couldn't force out the next words but he seemed to see the question in her eyes as he said firmly, "That dam is Oin's apprentice and Ori's One. We all grew up together and are very close to one another, she's like a sister to me and Kee. And the only reason that none of us said anything to you was because she didn't tell us she was coming, she wanted to surprise Ori." He frowned as he recalled their greeting, "I suppose, to one who didn't know our history, it would've looked, odd."

She said drily, "Or overly affectionate. And I made a horrible first impression on her." She looked at Fili apologetically, "I'm so sorry, I never should've doubted you. But Ori made it sound like this magical connection that dwarves have no control over. That your One is the literal perfect other half of your soul. And I'm just a hobbit lass that went on adventure that was much too big for her."

His eyes glowed and he said fiercely, "You are perfect and you are mine and woe be the person that suggests otherwise."

He bent down and caught her lips in a fierce yet tender kiss. When they broke apart, she found that she was clinging to him, her arms around his neck and fingers buried in the hair at the nape of his neck. Her breathing was a bit jagged, but she asked shyly, "You're sure that I'm your One?"

He pressed gently kissed to each of her eyelids, the tip of her nose, before claiming her mouth in a gentle kiss. When they parted, he said tenderly, "You are my heart and soul, you are the very breath in my body and the reason that my heart beats. You are my sun and moon and the earth beneath my feet. You are the energetic good morning and soft goodnight. You are not only my One, you are my everything, Bella."

She smiled up at him and murmured, "And you are mine."

As she claimed his lips in another kiss, she thought distantly that Ori had been right, there was nothing more perfect than finding the other half of your soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that you're all having a wonderful week, just a little bit of a snippet that came to me and I couldn't resist writing :)
> 
> Praying for hope, healing, and peace.
> 
> We are strong together!


	23. Hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nori/Bella  
> Beorn's onward

Bella stole out of Beorn's early on the second day of their stay there after nibbling halfheartedly on a roll, telling Balin and Dori, the only two dwarves awake and even then they were mostly not awake, that she planned on spending the day quietly outside. Balin had just grunted his understanding while Dori had muttered for her to stay close for safety. She had reassured them that she would before leaving as quickly as she could without appearing like she was fleeing, even if she was, in fact, fleeing.

She searched until she found the perfect spot to be, a secluded little copse of trees that were so thick that a dwarf wouldn't be able to squeeze through the branches easily, the racket would be more than enough to give her advance warning of anyone trying to intrude on her solitude. Leaning back against a trunk, she breathed deeply of the clover scented air, tiny hints of flowers adding lovely highlight notes to the breeze. She allowed herself several moments to just sit and be, something that she hadn't been able to do since this whole benighted quest had first started.

Then, slowly, reluctantly, she allowed herself to start processing everything. And as she did, she wasn't able to stop the tears that trickled down her cheeks. She couldn't stop them, this whole trip had been too much, much too much, for one tiny hobbit lass that had been lost ever since she had stepped out of her home, as Thorin had so aptly put it. She hadn't expected any of this, much less the horribleness of some of it. After all, she knew that she would have to face a fire breathing monster at the end of the journey, but she hadn't understood that she might die BEFORE actually reaching the dragon after all. That or that she could lose companions who had become dear friends over the course of the journey. The thought of losing any of those dear, impossible dwarves, was heart-wrenching to her.

And she had especially not expected to fall in love. A tiny sob escaped her as she finally admitted it to herself. She had fallen in love, had fallen hard and fast and irredeemably in love with a dwarf. She hadn't meant to, it had just sort of, happened, over days of travel and companionship. She had found her eyes drawn to him more and more over the course of the journey, discovering interesting new facets of his personality and by the time she learned that she was in danger, it was already much too late, she no longer possessed her heart.

But it didn't matter, because he clearly did not return the sentiment. The events of the past few days had made that more than clear. He hadn't bothered to check on her after the thunder battle, but he'd been worried about his kin and she could excuse it. But then she fell and managed to make her way back to them. However, he hadn't even looked over at her, ignoring her entirely. And the less said about the events leading up to them arriving at the carrock the better, she was going to have nightmares for years, but he couldn't even look at her or say that he was glad she was ok. Even on the trek to Beorn's, he had barely said two words to her, ignoring her and hanging near his brothers. She should've known better.

Hot tears ran down her cheeks and she allowed them to flow, unchecked. She had done so much, been so strong, but she had no idea how to fix this ache, this total heart break. She knew that she had to, they were depending on her to win their home back, but that didn't mean that she couldn't mourn the loss of it. The word mourn caught her attention and it took her several moments to work out why. That was right, Ori and she had been talking about their cultures one night and about how important hair was in dwarven culture. He had listed all the different ways a dwarf could lose their hair and the meanings of some of the common braids. And he explained how it wasn't just for dishonor or reparations, but it could also show mourning. Thorin's short beard was both a sign of mourning and a vow, he wouldn't grow it out until Erebor had been reclaimed.

She reached up and absently rolled a curl between her fingers, debating the pros and cons of her actions. Suddenly, her resolve firmed. Why shouldn't they know of her pain? She deserved to have her pain recognized and this would help her from backsliding into useless longing, but remind her to move on, to begin working on winning a different future for herself from the one that she had been longing for of late. Yes, she would do it and woe be the dwarf that tried to give her grief over it. Pulling out her sewing kit from her pocket, it had somehow survived all of their misadventures, she pulled out the small pair of scissors with. Fili or Kili had obviously been in her things again, for when she tested them, she found them much sharper than she remembered them being. She rolled her eyes fondly, they were such good boys, even if they drove her crazy sometimes.

Reaching up, she carefully trimmed a curl to just below her ears. As she allowed it to fall, it felt incredibly freeing. With a grim smile on her face, she set about her task in earnest. It took her most of the morning to get the task done, having to stop several times for bouts of weeping, before pulling herself together and continuing on. Finally it was done and she ran a hand through her hair, checking carefully for any long strands that she might've missed. Satisfied that it was as well as she could, she allowed her hand to fall and carefully tidied her sewing kit away. She spent the rest of the day processing and mourning, allowing herself to just be. A couple of times, she distantly heard dwarves calling her name, but ignored them entirely. She had uprooted her entire life for them, they could afford her a day to pick up the pieces of her life and put herself back together.

The sun was sinking in the west when she finally pulled herself together and made her way back to Beorn's. When she entered the room, it was to the concerned chatter of dwarves of where she could be. She cleared her throat and all eyes shot to her, their words dying on their lips as they looked at her. She said softly, "I'm tired, I'm going to turn in now."

They parted wordlessly before her and she walked through them, her head held high. She might be battered a little bit, but she still had her pride.

* * *

The dwarves stared after her, their eyes wide as saucers. They had been growing increasingly concerned as the day wore on and there had been no sign of the hobbit lass and she hadn't answered their calls. They were about to tear the land around the cabin apart, worried that she had been hiding an injury and was lying out there somewhere injured and unconscious. However, when she had appeared, with her hair cut short and her eyes red from weeping, they had been unable to say a single word in the face of her obvious pain. What had happened to make her look like that?

They had allowed her to return to her room unhindered, the quiet snick of her door closing causing all of them to wince. They spent most of the evening trying to figure out what could've possibly caused their hobbit to cut her hair and look like death warmed over, but were unable to find anything concrete.

* * *

Bella woke a little later than was her norm the next day, but didn't care, having deeply needed the rest. Instead, she simply tidied herself up before going in search of breakfast, skipping eating the day before causing her stomach to grumble. She was determined to leave her upset behind and move forward. There was no time for her to pine and hold back the entire expedition, they had an important task ahead of them. She was pleased to see that there was still plenty of breakfast left on the table. To her surprise, most of the company were still lingering in the main room, working on small tasks instead of out sparring like she half expected. Especially knowing with how much energy dwarves had on any given day.

Shrugging, maybe they needed a down day as they were healing. She had just made herself up a plate when Kili surprised her by bringing her a carefully sweetened mug of coffee. She smiled at him and accepted it gratefully, causing a bit of tension to ease from his shoulders. He straddled the bench and just watched her quietly for several moments before asking quietly, "Bella, are you all right? Have one of us hurt you?"

She sighed but had anticipated the questions, especially from her new haircut. "No, Kili, not at all."

He gestured helplessly, "But your hair... And you'd been crying..."

She sighed again but offered him a small yet genuine smile, "I'm ok, little brother. You shouldn't worry so much. You know how Thorin keeps his beard short until Erebor is reclaimed? This is a vow of my own. However, I shall let it grow again, I just wanted a physical reminder of my vow for a little while."

Kili nodded soberly at that, knowing the full weight of such a solemn vow, "What is your vow?"

She shook her head, her eyes darkening slightly, "That's private. Now, go reassure your kin that I'm fine and we should be able to proceed on schedule."

He nodded, squeezing her shoulder briefly before leaving.

Bella had nearly finished her meal when Nori slipped onto the bench across from her, his expression uncharacteristically sober, "Is there anything I can do for you, lass? You should've come to one of us before cutting your lovely hair."

She glanced at him before continuing to eat, "It was a personal matter, nothing to do with any of you."

He frowned, "I don't see how that can be, considering that it's a dwarven custom that you used. A sign of mourning, even, if you will."

She looked up and met his gaze squarely, her voice soft, "You're right, I was both mourning and making a vow."

He said hoarsely, "Mourning what?"

Her voice dropped even lower and he had to strain to hear, "A foolish hope. And a vow never to make the same mistake again." She looked away and sighed, her appetite deserting her. "Excuse me, I promised Dori that I would help him with sewing today."

As she walked away, he pressed a hand over his aching heart. The pure, liquid heartbreak in her eyes both broke his heart and filled him with rage. He would get to the bottom of this and bring the light back to their hobbit's eyes, even if it was the last thing he ever did.

* * *

It had taken an effort of will but she had managed to treat the company just as she had before. She had caught Nori watching her several times from a distance, a puzzled expression on his face. However, she ignored it. It wasn't her place to offer answers, it was a personal matter and they should respect it. It wasn't until the middle of Mirkwood that the dwarves finally seemed to accept her hair, although it could be that everyone was too tired to care about trivial matters anymore.

Every day in that cursed forest, she felt her will and energy ebb a bit more, another tiny piece of her slip away. Their time in the dungeons wasn't any better and all the time spent in the world of the ring only made it a thousand times worse. She drove herself hard, barely eating or sleeping in an attempt to find a way out. And eventually she did, but by then she was just a shade of her former self. Maybe, if she'd had more hope to sustain her, even if it was a foolish hope, things would've gone better, but she didn't so she kept trudging along.

Then there was the whole thing with Smaug, and if that wasn't a spectacular failure, she didn't know what was. So when Thorin ended up banishing her, she wasn't really that surprised. Not to say that it didn't hurt and the whole dangling off the battlement wasn't terrifying, but somehow her cursed luck had held and she had survived. Alone in Gandalf's tent, she wondered wildly if it would've hurt less if she had died instead of seeing the disinterest and hate on the others faces. Taking the knife that Nori had given her, she hacked off her hair that had regrown to her shoulder blades. Instead of the care that she had given it last time, she hacked wildly, even drawing a tiny bit of blood in a couple of places.

Gandalf entered the tent and wrestled the blade away from her before she could truly hurt herself and then held her while she sobbed helplessly. However, once she had finished weeping, grieving had to be pushed aside in favor of more practical considerations, in this case, the army of orcs and goblins bearing down on them. In a way she was glad of it. She had been a fool since she had left the Shire and she had no strength to hope or even carry on anymore. Maybe this battle would let her atone for her arrogance and overconfidence. She had been much too bold, hoping for things way beyond a hobbit would ever get.

She started the battle with Gandalf, but they were quickly separated. Instead, she concentrated on caring for the company, they deserved to survive and live in the home that they had fought so hard for. It was a close thing, especially with Thorin and the princes, but somehow her cursed luck endured and she was able to save them, even as she was grievously injured.

Finally the battle was over and she allowed herself to collapse, her limbs growing weaker by the second. She had done it, the company had survived and the threat to the line of Durin was finally over. She toppled over and stared up at the sky, peace growing over her as she stared up into the blue expanse. They had done it, somehow, they had done it. She knew that she should force herself to get up, see how badly the company was injured, but she couldn't bring herself to move, a dreamy disassociation slipping over her.

Because of this, she missed the sound of her name being called as the company searching for her. It only when a dwarf loomed directly over her that she flinched back slightly in surprise. She couldn't help the whisper that escaped her, "Nori."

His eyes widened at that, recognition pouring into him as he dropped to his knees beside her, his hands hovering helpless over her as he said hoarsely, "Bella, lass, what in Mahal's name happened to you?"

She offered him a sly smirk, relieved to see that his eyes were warm and present once more, not distant and cold like they had been. "In case it has escaped your strong observational sense, there has been a battle in these parts, Master Thief. It is not a pleasant place for those of lesser skill, although I admit that the armor did its best."

His face looked oddly devastated for some reason that she just didn't have the strength to parse out. Instead, he ran a large hand gently over her scalp as he said softly, "And your hair?" His nimble fingers started pulling bandages from his pockets and swiftly binding her wounds.

She said blithely, "Now that, I did myself."

His face fell at that and she laughed lightly, the sound coming out breathier than she would've liked due to her broken ribs. He said distractedly, "You drive me to distraction, lass. Last time you cut your bonnie hair, your eyes were red with weeping and your very soul looked broken. This time, you've cut it all rough and jagged and you're laying here injured, and you're laughing merrily."

She shrugged, doing her best not to wince. "Different kinds of heartbreak, I suppose. At Beorn's, it was because I finally acknowledged that the one I loved would never love me back, a very small, very personal hurt. This time, it was because my world had ended entirely. It's such a large loss that I suppose that I cannot even wrap my head around it yet. I suppose that it shall hit me hard later, should I ever have a minute to stop and process."

He had frozen entirely at the word love, his face morphing into a strange expression. He slowly wrapped another wound, his voice filled with obviously forced nonchalance, "And which hobbit or dwarf had you gifted your priceless heart to? I watched closely over the journey and I can't say that I ever saw you growing any closer to one member of the company or the other."

She laughed again, this one short and almost bittersweet, both resigned and yet morbidly cheerful at the same time, "That's because you were so busy watching everyone that you never saw me holding out my heart to you. However, given the way that things ended up and how I was banished, it might've been for the best after all. For I wouldn't want you to have had to choose between me and your brothers, the Shire or the home that you fought so valiantly for. Not only that, but I may not even have a home in the Shire anymore, I've been gone so long, and on an adventure of all things." She seemed to ponder over something for several moments, before a smile quirked up the corners of her mouth, "Of course, that's only a problem should I survive. Given how my body seems to be rebelling on me, it's anyone's guess."

He quickly tied off the last wound, his thoughts seeming to battle within himself. Finally, he nodded firmly to himself. Bending over, he pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, before standing and scooping her into his arms, heading for the healing tents. "You just rest, amralime, and no more dark thoughts. You are not banished and you are not going to die, I forbid it. And in a couple of days, when you're feeling stronger, we're going have a long talk about needless vows and whacking stubborn dwarrow over the head with frying pans to clear their thinking."

She snuggled into his hold, grumbling, "I have no idea what you're even talking about and you shouldn't just haul off and kiss people like that, not respectable at all." She yawned, letting her eyes fall closed, "Still, not a bad way to go, with a kiss from your love." With that, she drifted off into the warm darkness.

He felt the moment she passed out and picked up his pace. He knew that she wasn't planning on waking up, but he'd be damned if he lost her now, not after she'd let that little bombshell drop. If her words were true, how had he missed the lass offering her heart to him. After all, the lass could be concussed and out of her mind. However, on the off chance that she wasn't, he was going to do everything in his power to make sure that they had many, many years together.

He had brought her back to the healing tents quickly and handed her off to Oin, he wouldn't trust the lass to any lesser healers. Thankfully, the rest of the company seemed to have made it through largely unscathed, a handful of broken bones and cuts, nothing that wouldn't heal given a bit of time.

* * *

It took two days for Bella to wake up, blood loss having apparently weakened her enough that her body pulled her into a healing sleep. Nori could barely pull himself from her side, only the most necessary of business, as the dwarves who tried to assassinate Thorin and the princes learned to their detriment. It was moving towards sunset on the second day when she finally stirred and awoke. He held his breath, praying that this time she would finally awake and he could see her gorgeous eyes again.

* * *

Bella stirred slowly, her body feeling stiff and sore, like it had for several months now after sleeping on the hard and cold ground. Prying her eyes open, she noted the tent canvas over her head and breathed, "Damn." A relieved chuckle caught her attention and she turned her head to see Nori sitting on a small stool next to her cot. She repeated, "Damn." Studying him closely, she sighed, "Damn it, I had hoped that I imagined you finding me. And I suppose I did confess to you as well?" He nodded and she sighed. "I suppose I can't persuade you to forget about that?"

He stroked him beard thoughtfully, "Well, that depends, lass. Did you say that because your wits were rambling or did you say it because it was the truth?"

She frowned, tilting her head slightly, but his expression didn't let her understand what he was thinking. Since her loose lips had already let it slip, she might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb. She said blithely, "Oh, it was the truth, although I wish that you hadn't learned of it and that I could've just returned to the Shire with my head held high. Truth is, you had my heart before I even realized it was gone. However, I would really prefer if you were kind enough to leave me alone now."

He shook his head, but before she could protest, he moved over to the bed and gently claimed her lips. She melted into it for half a second before reality crashed over her and she pushed him away, her eyes furious. "How dare you! How dare you pity me!"

He grinned roguishly at her, his smirk wicked, "Oh, I wasn't pitying you, lass, I was trying to be mindful of your injuries. However, amralime, since you seem to doubt my feelings..." He leaned down and captured her lips again, this time in a fiery, passionate kiss. She fought for several seconds before relaxing into the kiss, her hands sliding up into his hair as she kissed him with all the pent up hunger that she had been hiding. He groaned at that, kissing her passionately before gentling the kiss, drawing them both back from the precipice.

When he pulled back and she would've chased him, he murmured, "Easy, love, easy. We don't want to stress your wounds. I'm going to take the very best care of you from here on out, just see if I don't."

Her eyes were fiery as she breathed, "Promises, promises."

He chuckled raggedly at that, "You're gonna keep me on my toes for the rest of our lives, aren't you?"

She blinked at that, feeling rather stunned, "What did you just say?"

He asked slyly, although there was a hint of worry in his eyes as well, "What, you didn't think that I'd be letting you get away, did you?"

She said tartly, although she still looked rather poleaxed, "I didn't think that you ever had me in the first place."

He nodded sagely, picking up her hands and pressing gentle kisses to the back of them, "Ah, you might be right at that, because I was a right blind fool. However, I wish very much to get permission to court and win you now."

Feeling suddenly shy and bold at the same time, she reached up and brushed a tentative kiss over his lips before saying quietly, a hint of a smirk in her voice, "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Courting first and then down the road we'll see whether or not you win me, laddy buck."

He smiled at her, a genuine smile filled with such warmth her breath caught, and kissed her hands again, his lips warm and lingering, "I'm thankful for the chance and ask for nothing more. I look forward to our courtship, very much so."

She hesitated before asking, "What about your brothers? Will they be ok with this?"

Nori grinned at that, "Ori already adores you, the little bugger. And Dori will probably give you the third degree making sure that this is what you truly want, but he'll be happy for us once he learns that it's real."

It suddenly started to sink in that this was actually real and she couldn't help the small smile that curved up her lips, "Oh, it's real. However, you'll have to be persuasive to convince me that this is what I want."

He gave her a crooked grin, just a hint of a dimple appearing on his cheek, "I'll do my best, mizim. After all, you're a treasure worth fighting for."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Readers mutter suspiciously to each other, 'Three updates in three days, what is she up to?'*
> 
> Short answer is, I haven't been sleeping at night, so I've had time to get more writing done.
> 
> Long answer, we have a pregnant doe (goat) due any day now and I've pulled the night watch for the past several days to make sure that there are no complications during the birth. I am a night owl naturally, so I've found myself more productive of late. Hopefully I can continue this trend after the baby is born, lol.
> 
> Praying for peace, clarity, and change.
> 
> We are strong together!


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